~*~Chapter 3~*~

"Oh look! There's a miniature golf course. Let's play a game before we're loaded with shopping bags," Chloe suggested.

"Great idea! I know that we have done this before, but there probably isn't putt-putt where you come from, is there boys?"

"Nope." They shook their heads, but were smiling, eager to play their first game in this strange muggle world.

"Well, it's loads of fun and really easy," Mr. Evans explained.

"Sounds good!"


"Alright Sirius, put your ball on the tee."

"The tee?" He asked, dazed look on his face, which he frequently described as 'Irresistibly charming'.

"That little thing right there that's on the ground." Mr. Evans instructed, chuckling.

"Ok, now what?"

"See the hole up there? The object is to get it in the hole in as few tries as you can."

"Gotcha."

"So, just put your club up to the ball and hit it. It's a piece of cake."

Lily was having a fun time watching her dad try to teach the boys to play putt-putt. They had absolutely no idea what they were doing, but were full of excitement anyway. They all grew up in the wizarding world, which made this vacation nothing more or less than an adventure.

When Sirius went to hit the ball, he wound up like he was going to make a 200-meter drive. "No Sirius!" She panicked. "Don't hit it that...hard...!" She sighed, realizing that she was too late when the ball went zooming all the way past the twelfth hole and into a small goldfish pond. "Smooth one slick."

"He told me to hit it," Sirius smiled sweetly, but his attempted innocence didn't hit home.

"You're supposed to tap it so it ROLLS down the green and into the hole, which happens to only be about 4 meters away. Not 50 meters!"

"Sorry sorry! I'll go get my ball. But, we do get to finish the game, don't we?"

She grinned. "Just as long as you don't wound anybody with your club or ball, yes."

"Yes!" He cheered and went to locate his golf ball.

The next 17 holes didn't turn out being quite as destructive; in fact, they all had a great time once they boys got the hang of it. They were very good mini gold players, and surprisingly, they beat everyone. Sirius got third, but only because of the penalty strokes he earned on the first hole. James got second, and Remus won 1st place by only one stroke.

"Yea! Remmie won!" Lizzy shrieked as he inched his way away from her.

"Well, Remus, you know what this means." Lily grinned slyly.

"What?"

"Evans Family Tradition: Winner treats everyone to ice cream."

Later that night, before going to sleep, James, Sirius, and Remus were chilling out in their hotel room and going through travel brochures of the Magic Kingdom: tomorrow's park.

"This trip has gone way too smoothly, if you ask me." James said, flipping through the pages and stopping on a rather fascinating-looking ride.

"Too true. I think we need to do something about Remus' lover girl, Lizzy."

"Oh Remmie! Remmie darling! Ride this one with me. I want you to hold my hand so I won't be scared. Oh Rem-"

"Shut it Sirius! It's not funny. It's sickening."

"Sorry man. We need a plan, and seeing, as she's a panicky muggle. We can't do anything with magic."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"James! You know as well as I do that Lily will skin us alive and put our hides on display if we do anything with Zonko stuff to embarrass her."

"Ok ok. No magic."

"So we have to do a muggle prank. Remus, what say you?"

He shrugged and ran his fingers through his sandy hair. "Muggles are boring. What do they actually do for pranks?"

"Oh! Light bulb!" James jumped up and threw his Magic Kingdom pamphlet in their faces. "I know what lets do!"

Their eyes followed his finger. "Space Mountain: The New Thrilling, Pitch-Black Roller Coaster. Be ready to scream."

James nodded, a twinkle in his eye. "Lizzy is a scaredy cat and gullible as heck when it comes to Remus. She'll do anything he asks her to." Smiles lit up their devil some faces. "Get my meaning?"

"Brilliant idea! I didn't think a Potter capable of using his brain." Remus ducked as a pillow came flying his way.

"You'll pay for that one, Lupin!"

"Hey! Don't leave me out!" Sirius chucked a pillow across the room at them.

In no time at all, a single insult had turned into "Battle of the Boneheads". They were jumping on the bed, bounding off the walls, and pillows and feathers clouded the view into the room.

Lily heard the noise from the next room over and went to see what they were doing, though dreading the worst. When she opened the door, her suspicions were confirmed, but she wasn't surprised. After all, this was Sirius, Remus, and James. What could she expect? "Umm, guys? - Hello? - Will you guys stop?!" But they still didn't hear her. "POTTER! BLACK! LUPIN! SHUT UP!"

They froze immediately and Remus fell on the bed. He was in mid-flight, darting across the room with a pillow. "What's up?"

"Stop acting so nonchalant. Did you actually think no one could hear you? You're lucky my mom and dad are down at the pool. Now if you don't stop acting like immature little kids, you're going to get us kicked out. Believe it or not, muggles can't handle insanity. And you three, you've surpassed insanity ages ago."

They were taking in every word; no one wanted to pull Lily's last string. They knew what happened when someone did, and they didn't want to experience that while on vacation, so they held their tongues.

"Go to sleep. We're leaving very early tomorrow."

"Gotcha babe!"

She threw a warning look at them and slammed the door, rolling her eyes. Once in her own room, she began thinking of how she could have possibly considered them capable of staying calm for a whole week with muggles.

~~~~~~
"Welcome to the Magic Kingdom, where all your dreams come true!" A voice said as they entered the park.

"Where all your dreams come true!' Sirius mocked and fluttered his eyelashes. "How corny."

The Evans clan laughed. "Here we are: Main Street USA. Why don't we g to the Country Bears Hoedown first? A show starts in 15 minutes." Frank informed the fervent kids.

"Sure thing!" They al' chorused.

In 15 minutes Lily and the boys were engulfed in uncontrollable laughter almost as hard as when they enlarged Snape's behind last fall.

"Look at that bear! That's messed up." James managed to say through all of his laughter. He was pointing at one of the bears on stage that was painfully obvious that it wasn't really a bear…it was a person with a really bad costume manager attempting to look like a bear wearing clothes.

"This is so childish, but great entertainment. I don't think I've ever seen anything so funny in my entire life!" Remus admitted.

"And now you know what Muggles do for fun."

"You've got to be joking. They just sit around…and watch…this? That's a little sad, if you ask Me."

"Naw! This is great! It's a good excuse to watch idiocy at its best." Sirius stated.

They continued to watch the show much the same way: complete with singing bears, bears playing banjos and fiddles, bears that were just stupid, and elk heads coming alive, dancing to the beat on the walls.

"Awesome! Check out this ride! Let's go on this one next!" James pleaded a few hours later on the other side of the park.

"Hmmm…Space Mountain. Sounds scary." Mr. Evans stood looking at the sign and considering it.

"Please???" All the boys were begging him.

"Ok, fine. But are you sure you can handle it?"

"No problem Mr. E!" James said enthusiastically, then winked at Remus who wanted to gag at what he was supposed to do. "Do your stuff." He whispered to him.

"Come on Lizzy! Let's go on this ride." He offered his arm to her and she looked overjoyed.

They walked into the large dome, Home of Space Mountain. Luckily, they were there on a Sunday, so there wasn't a line.

"Step right up! Come ride the Magic Kingdom's newest attraction!" A voice boomed.

"This is supposed to be the most fun ride in the whole park, Lizzy," Remus told her.

She didn't quite comprehend what he said, for she was too busy gushing over him to care. "Whatever you say Remmie." She sighed dreamily.

He shrugged, thinking that what he told her wasn't really a lie. He, the guys, and Lily would think it was great, but Lizzy on the other hand… he couldn't wait to hear her reaction afterwards.

"Ok Lizzy, you sit here," He directed her to the front seat on the roller coaster car. "…While I sit here behind you." He sat down in his seat.

"Why don't you come sit with me?" She smiled sickeningly and Remus saw that she had lipstick on her teeth: lipstick that was 10 shades too bright.

"Umm, no, I can't. In this ride, you can only sit one to a seat." He fibbed just as Sirius came and sat next to him, and James and Lily shared a seat behind them.

"Hey! Remus, apparently we are allowed to sit together. Come up here so we can enjoy this ride with each other. It'd be romantic." She was too dense to figure out that he completely made up the fact that it was one to a seat; she thought he just made a mistake.

"Erm…"

He was saved from having to create an excuse when the voice returned. "Make sure you're buckled and hold on tight as you await the sensation!"

Everyone clicked their seatbelts.

"Prepare yourself for the thrill of a lifetime on the world's scariest pitch-black roller coaster!"

The boys could just imagine the look of terror on Lizzy's face as that was said. Winks were exchanged between Remus, Sirius, James, and Lily and then all the lights went out.

"Hold on tight and HERE WE GO!!!"

It started out slowly and then on its first sharp turn in total darkness, everyone could hear Lizzy's earsplitting scream. "Oh no! AHH! This is awful! Someone help me PLEASE!!!"

"This is the best ride ever! Don't you agree Lizzy?" Remus taunted after the first death-defying drop as Sirius laughed.


The rest of Lizzy's payback went by the same way: herself, she was screaming to high heaven as they boys laughed and enjoyed her horrific experience.

"Aww man! Over all ready?" Sirius winked as the cart pulled to a stop.

"Let's do again!" Said James.

Lizzy's hair stood on end like 1000 volts of electricity had run through it as she wobbled out of the cart, eyes wide from the shock.

"So, want to join us on our next round?" Remus smiled sweetly.

She locked eyes with him and glared, walking in his direction. "Remus. Don't. Ever. Do. That. To. Me. Ever. Again! That was scary and you did it on purpose! I hate you!"

"Remmie, look what you made her do! She hate you know, what a pity..." Sirius teased as she stormed off.

"Stuff it Sirius. And don't call me that name. Yuck." He shivered.

"No problem...Remmie." He dodged the Mickey ears aimed at him.

"At least girls like me, Siri."

"Are you saying that I'm not good looking?"

"I'm not one to say, seeing as I'm not gay."

"That's good to know." He replied, moving a little farther away from him.

"Why don't you as a girl."

"Lily? Do you think I'm sexy?" He asked seriously.

She looked him up and down, primarily focusing on his hair, dirt on his face, and his clothes soaking wet from a former ride. She began shaking with laughter. "That's not exactly the word I would have picked."

"How about ruggedly handsome?"

She laughed even harder.

"Jeez! I can see when I'm not loved. I seem to recall you being rather obsessed with me last fall."

"And I recall being rather thick and out of my mind last fall. Not to mention, I was in a situation where I had no choice. I had to ask someone, you just happened to be at the top of my list of knuckleheads." she threw her Minnie Mouse doll at him, enjoying the spectacle of his reaction to being insulted.

Remus and James by now were cracking up.

"Ooh! She told you Sirius!"

"Lily you're one to talk Potter."

"Well, I think I'm good looking." he grinned.

Lily grabbed his hand to get an ice cream. "Arrogance gets you everywhere."

He realized he was being towed and looked at his hand which Lily was tugging on, but holding, nonetheless. "OOOH, I didn't know you cared."

"Don't tempt your luck. I'm burning up and all I care about right now is getting some very cold sorbet."

"Sorbet?! So THAT'S how you pronounce it! I always thought it was sor-bit."

"Take this into consideration James: It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a moron than open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Oh, that's a good one," He said seriously.

"Yeah, I memorized it just for you."

"How thoughtful of you."

"I try."

"That's nice. But just to inform you, I'm capable of following you without being towed. Plus, you're cutting off the circulation in my wrist."

"That was my intention."

"Letting go now would be nice."

"Spoil sport."

"Hey you two! Wait up!" Sirius and Remus ran to catch up to them.

"What took you so long?" James asked.

"We had to worm our way out of having to apologize to Remus' girlfriend."

"HEY! She is not!"

"Sorry sorry. But what were you doing? Not trying to sneak away to be alone somewhere, were you?" He wiggled his eyebrows after seeing them holding hands.

"Sirius, only you would be stupid enough to suggest such a thing. James, you should repeat to him that quote I just told you."

"Well, I saw you two holding hands. What was I to think? I jumped to conclusions."

"Really?" Lily said sarcastically.

"So what's the real story then?"

"We were going to get some ice cream, you dunce," James supplied.

"Sorbet." Lily corrected.

"Whatever. And Lily was planning on cutting off the circulation in my hand."

"Interesting. But let's just get our ice cream," Remus whined.

"Amen to that," She said as they approached the stand.

"And what would you like, Miss?" The man asked her.

"Lemon Sorbet please."

"Good choice! And you, Sir?"

"Orange Sor-bit," James replied, receiving a glance of annoyance from Lily for purposely mispronouncing it.

~~~~~~
Everyone had an amazing time the rest of the day; Remus especially because Lizzy got fed up and refused to come within a 10 foot radius of him. Naturally, he was overjoyed.

They spent the rest of the day on the rides, eating, and buying souvenirs in the gift shops, just the four of them.

"LILY!" Petunia bellowed when she caught sight of her minutes before the park was about to close.

"Hello Tunia. What can I do for ya?" Lily waltzed up to her good-naturedly.

"Don't play dumb with me."

"What ever could you be talking about?" She smiled sweetly; knowing that her friends who would do more than tell Petunia off if she hurt her backed her up.

"Drop the act. Do you know what your devilish friends did to MY friend earlier today?" She asked, hands on her hips and smoke nearly coming out of her ears.

"No Petunia. Do tell." She asked innocently.

"They took her on Space Mountain telling her it was a fun ride. A fun ride!"

Lily shrugged. "We thought it was fun."

"It's only the scariest ride on the planet, Lily, and you were well aware of that. You made her think it was nice and slow!"

Sirius put his hand on her shoulder. "We were merely taking advantage of her ignorance."

"Get your hand off of me. Just stay away from us."

"We have absolutely no problem doing that. In fact, that was precisely the point of taking her on Space Mountain in the first place."

"Do you think that you could be any ruder?" Petunia spat.

"No, but maybe you could give us some lessons." Remus stuck his tongue out at her.

"You all are despicable."

"And lovin' it," Sirius replied to her retreating back.

~~~~~~
"That golf ball is huge!" James gasped as they entered Epcot the next day.

"That's for sure."

"This park is going to be my favorite probably. So much culture and so much to learn." Lily gushed while looking at the 'Epcot Tour Map'. "Did you know that each village here represents a different country? Like China, Spain, France, Mexico, Germany, and look! There's even one of the U.K."

"Cool, but it'll end up not being anything like home."

"Remus, you loser, America and England really aren't that different, if you haven't noticed." Lily giggled.

"Oh right."

"Don't bother to thank me. I pride myself in correcting statements made by mindless beings." She grinned.

James rolled his eyes. "Now look who's being arrogant. You were on my back about that yesterday."

"I was simply making everyone aware of my fine points."

"And our weak ones."

"You can't fix a problem until you diagnose it." She was getting a kick out of playing with their minds.

"Pff…"

"What can I say? Like I said, James, arrogance gets you everywhere."

~~~~~~
The second half of the vacation went just as smoothly as the first...if you can actually describe it as smooth, that is.

Lizzy generally avoided the crazy portion of the party, namely James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily.

Petunia complained that they were too weird so she, inevitably, hung out with Lizzy, and was saying that Lizzy ended up being no fun because she was depressed. Lily personally felt that hanging out with Petunia would ruin anyone's vacation and cause them to go into serious depression fit for an insane asylum.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans seemed to be enjoying themselves, except that Frank had grown a little more vigilant than usual: always worried about what may be lurking around the corner. This sudden change in attitude was really eye-brow-raising for Lily.

The three faithful members of Lambda Epsilon, the first-ever wizard frat-nerdy, were having more fun than everyone put together. They found "muggleness" positively fascinating.

Epcot was beyond interesting, to say the least. They saw a music group in the Chinese village playing oriental music, and this presented an opportunity far too entertaining for the boys to pass up.

"Do you mind if we sing? We know a dialect of Chinese." Remus told one of the musicians.

"If you know the language, I don't see how it could hurt."

How very wrong he was.

The boys' eyes flashed with glee as the band struck up a strange fast Chinese circus tune. The three of them dug some balloons, rubber bands, whoopee cushions, and a rubber chicken out of their pockets and began a circus act of flinging rubber bands at each other, stuffing balloons down their shirts, and singing.

"How chi men yo heck ti doo!" Sirius yakked in completely made-up Chinese.

"How chi men yo heck ti doo!" James and Remus chanted.

"Moo sii bladdar kinko su!"

"Moo sii bladdar kinko su!"

"Chinky winky!"

"Han ya goon!"

They looked like complete idiots, so Lily just stood there. Her face, which she had buried in her hands, was a red as a beet. She then realized that there was a huge crowd gathered around them, laughing like there was no tomorrow. It was really funny, she admitted, and allowed herself to join in with the laughter.

At the finale of the act, they earned an encore, but Lily dragged them off stage before they could continue. She was happy, though, to see that the boys had succeeded in thoroughly humiliating Petunia for the umpteenth time this trip.

Lily managed to keep the mischeif level slightly lower at Sea World by bribing them with a chance of riding the escalator if they were good. Lily know that they'd have to get on one at the airport no matter how they behaved, but as far as she was concerned, what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

The boys stayed true to their word, promising they'd be better, but they took advantage of her choice of words and were only minutely less immature.

They instantly got her in a feisty mood when they went to the Shamu Whale Show, where first, they insisted she sit in the front row. Inevitably, she got drenched. Then James was picked as an audience volunteer to play with the sea lions. Lily found this absolutely hilarious...

~~~~~~
"Come on! Pick me! Pick me!" Remus, James, and Sirius junped up and down, waving their hands through the air.

The sea lion trainer chuckled. "We have three very enthusiastic young men here today. You, in the middle, come on down!"

The crowd cheered as the excited James ran down onto the stage platform where to trainer stood.

"What's your name?"

"James." He siad into the microphone and smiled.

"Great. Now James, this is Trudy and Tracy, our sea lions! Say hello ladies." She asked the animals and they 'barked' loudly. "Excellent! Have a fish." She tossed a fish into each of their mouths.

The audience applauded.

"Alright James. Your turn. Grab a fish...good."

He waved it around his head, Remus and Sirius egging him to goof off.

The trainer was laughing. "Now do this with your arms and the sea lions will wave to you."

"Piece of cake." He winked to the crowd and got on his hands and knees in front of Trudy. "Okie dokie Trudy. She the fishy? If you do the trick, you get the fish. Easy enough? Yummy fishy..." He was swinging it back and forth in front of its face, teasing it, and when he did the signal, Trudy waved a little too vigorously with her huge flippers and whacked him in the face.

He stumbled back to his feet and massaged his cheek. "Ouch."

The whole crowd was laughing but he could hear Lily's bell-tone giggle and Sirius and Remus' hysterical laughing about all the rest of the noise.

"Ok, apparently it's not that easy. I'll go back to my seat."

The trainer was cracking up. "You do that, and thank you for a good show!"

"Anytime."

~~~~~~
Other than that, everything went as normal as possible with this screw, and their vacation drew to an end. They arrived home two days later after a very long plane ride and numerous trips up and down the 'eckylator'.