The Fowl Bloom
a story starring Artemis Fowl and Orlando Bloom
(A/N: We're pretending that they are both 15 here, okay?)
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl or Orlando Bloom. Or anything else. All I own is me... sad isn't it?
Intro
So it was a horrible foggy day in the summer, and, naturally, Artemis was in a horrible mood. In fact, he was soooooooooooooooooo mad that he decided to fire Butler for putting too much butter on his toast. (A/N: I didn't know that Butler had to make Artemis toast, but OOOOOOOOOh well!) Poor Butler...
It was beautiful sunny summer day, and, not so very naturally, Kate Bosworth was in an AWFUL mood. Poor Orlando had to put up with her awful attitude. Most of the girls in America will be VERY jealous here that he was waiting on her - hand and foot. When Orlando didn't fetch her bunny slippers on time, she dumped him. Poor stupid Kate...
On a very hot day in the summer, the stunning Tanya Kaida, a 15-year old girl, was walking along her private beach in Orlando, Florida, singing her favorite song: This Love by Maroon 5. She was a beautiful blonde with kinda curly hair that fell just right on her shoulders. She had almost fairy-like features on her face: deep blue eyes that twinkled, perfect nose, eyebrows arched in an attractive manner, and "cute" ears.
Tanya lived on her private beach estate sometimes, but when she wanted to, she would live in her beautiful castle in France. Sometimes, she liked to live her little shack in China when she felt like being Feng-Shui. She bought her parents an elegant house in California where she occasionally visits. Tanya bought her brother a warm cottage in Alaska where he can never bug her again. Every now and then she visits him, but, when not in China, France, Florida, California, or Alaska, she is in Hawaii where she hangs out with the beach bums.
Where did she get all of that money? NO, Tanya Kaida did NOT win the lottery; she won a bet with Artemis Fowl...