Kagome had watched in astonishment as Sesshomaru had pinned her under his weight. He did not put more on her than he knew she could handle. She could still breathe, and her ribs did not feel as if they might break, but there was still a comfortable pressure on her body from his. It pulled at an urge inside to just take a deep breathe and fall asleep, feeling secure and safe under his weight. She had watched his face in those moments of stillness, where there seemed to be no movement of their bodies, nor any intention of moving at the moment. Then she had blinked, and she had found Sesshomaru's face close to hers, tilting it till his nose was pressed against her neck. At that very moment she couldn't say whether or not she was shocked to what he was doing, was distraught, or comfortable. It wasn't as if he was trying to harm her, though she wasn't really quite sure what he was doing.

She was aware of his hands at her waist, kneading into her soft flesh. His grip was tight, as if he wasn't quite aware that he was doing it, but it still didn't hurt her as she had expected. She tried to pull his face towards her own, to look him in the eye, to try to get an answer from the taiyoukai. He wouldn't meet her eyes, kept pulling away so that he could once again bury his nose against her neck. She could feel the air brush across her skin as he exhaled, before drawing in more of her scent. Finally, she decided to speak, maybe that would break whatever had befallen the youkai on top of her.

"Sesshomaru?"

She was going to say more, truly she was, but her thoughts were taken off path when he pulled back slightly, a groan eliciting from his throat from the action. She watched his face as it turned to meet hers. His eyes were clouded, glazed over with something she could not decipher. Though she could tell from the sound of his strained voice, that whatever it was, he was having a hard time controlling. He was fighting against himself, and barely had enough to stay himself.

"You're in heat Kagome. Are you aware of what that does to youkai males?"

She drew in a deep lungful of air at his words. She wasn't quite sure what the scent did to youkai males, but she remembered with a fond memory Inu-yasha's reaction at this point of the month. The poor hanyou had retreated from her, keeping his distance as much as he could till it was over. And she had only heard very slightly of what it did to youkia's. It called to their demons, it called to their most primal urges, and here she was, in the taiyoukai's presence, half naked with only a towel to seperate them, and she in heat.

She would not move though, she was afraid that if she moved, it would rip away his final barriers, and leave only his demon to deal with her. If things between Sesshomaru had herself was to escalate, she did not wish for them to happen in such a way that they were to now. She did not wish to be hurt by Sesshomaru, and she did not wish to harm him either. So instead she was as still and quiet as she could be, watching his red eyes and beautiful face with intent eyes.

How relieved she was when he pushed himself off of her, retreating towards the door. She knew how hard it must have been for him, she could smell the need taking over his own natural scent. She watched as he shook his head, trying to clear her heat in order to think straight.

"I'm sorry Kagome."

She watched as he turned and disappeared from her room, leaving her on the bed, clutching at her towel with a white-knuckled grip. So she was safe now, he would retreat to where her scent could not reach him. He had enough control to leave her pure at the moment. So why did she feel so lonely after he was gone? Why did it feel like her heart was being ripped out of her chest once again?

With a sigh, she resigned to finishing off her drying. It would do no good if she pranced about her room anymore with damp skin. Once she was done with that, she visited her closet, where no other clothes then her black kimono, and her original black outfit. She had nothing else to wear, and the kimono she had worn already that day. Donning the same outfit she had appeared in front of Sesshomaru in, she ripped a small hole in the derriere of the pants to allow her tail room. Pulling her hair back into the low-nape ponytail, but leaving small wisps to curl around her face.

Placing herself back into her bedroom, she paced, looking more like the old Sesshomaru more than she realized. 'Alright, so he left. It's not like it's anything personal. Not like he hates me. He just couldn't stand the smell. Nothing personal Kagome....' A shift in her thoughts, reminding her of the need she saw in Sesshomaru's gaze when he looked down to her. 'It wasn't that he couldn't stand the smell little one, he wanted it too much. You know that... don't fool yourself.'

Flopping into a sitting position on her bed, she hung her head in her hands. She didn't want this, she didn't want to be attached to Sesshomaru, didn't want to depend on him for the emotions that she was secretly aching for. She was afraid to love again, afraid to trust again. But everytime she looked to his beautiful face, she couldn't help but to feel her defenses fall to his whim. He was not the Sesshomaru that had tried to deal death to his hanyou brother and herself. He was not the same Sesshomaru that she shivered in fright from. He had changed, and she found that he did not hate the change. Had this side of Sesshomaru always exsisted?

These self-questionings were getting her no where by insane. She couldn't stand asking herself how he felt, while trying to evaluate what she felt towards him. She was a nervous wreak, and this little see-saw of emotions was helping. As she had done before to mask her youkai scent from Sesshomaru, she tried to weave the same magic, and mask her heat scent, though she was afraid it was only dulled down to a reasonable level, and not completely invisible from sensitive sniffers.

She was set in her mind, and she would not be turned away until she got her answers. She stalked out of her bedroom, following his scent like a lifeline, not at all surprised that it lead to his office. It seemed that he was in that room more than he was in his bedroom. She could imagine him curling up on his desk with a blanket and sleeping there. Her steps were fast, and before she knew it, she was within reach of his office. That was before a certain toad held up his staff and halted her.

"Lord Sesshomaru is not to be disturbed at the moment. It is his express orders and you are expected to obey them woman."

She brought her two-toned gaze down to the offending demon before she leapt forward, snatching him up by the collar of his robe in her clawed embrace. Bringing her face close to his, her nose wiggling as if she possessed the whiskers of a true cat, she hissed in his face.

"Make me obey."

And then, once again the toad went flying down the hallway. She did not see nor care how far he flew, before hitting the ground and skidding to a stop. She didn't bother to look, before she shoved the study doors open and stepped in with an overpowering presence.

Sesshomaru was sitting at his desk, his head planted softly in his hands. Kagome suddenly faltered at the sight, she could see small tears slip from the corner of his eyes, and it was then that she noticed his scent was full of confusion and lose. She slowly approached him now, wanting to know exactly what it was that brought the tears to his eyes.

"Sesshomaru?"

----------

He couldn't let it happen, he had to stay strong in the face of adversary. He couldn't just let her slip by his defenses and break down everything that he had built up. He couldn't let Kagome stride into his life, juggle with his emotions, though she wasn't aware of what she did. It wasn't even her fault. He wanted her, he wanted to love her, to hold her and be the one that she came to when she was happy, sad, mad, hurt... anything. But he didn't know how to. He didn't know how to love her, didn't know how to comfort her, didn't even know how to treat her the way she might have expected him. Why did he even bother?

He had told Jaken to keep all intruders out. He didn't care who it was, it could have been his father, but still he would not want his presence at the moment. He didn't want to be seen as he was at the moment. Lord Sesshomaru, Taiyoukai of the Western Lands was crying, over a woman!!

Nor did it help when the woman being cried over was suddenly in front of him. He could hear Jaken's voice speak to her from outside, and at first he had thought by her silence that she might leave, but then he had heard her angry words, defying the toad to do the impossible, before she stepped in. He had tensed up, expecting her intoxicating scent to slam into him, thereby destroying what little control he had, but was surprised to sense it's muted flavors. She had tried to hide it, for his sake. It was still there, still tempting his nose, but it was not as overwhelming as usual.

He looked up to her, when he heard her musical voice call out his name. Just as earlier, she was confused, out of place. She might have had something to say to him, from the urgency of her arrival, but now it had flew from the window at the tears she must have seen. He didn't try to hide them, didn't try to shoo her away. He just sat there, looking at her.

"What is it that you want miko?"

He watched her face turn into a frown at the sudden change of names. She had gotten so used to hear him speak her name, that now she felt drawn back when he used miko. She felt absent from him, felt as if there were miles between them instead of feet. He could feel her falter, could feel her start to retreat into herself at the word 'miko'.

"There must be a reason why you have thrown my servant down the hall, bound in here as if you were going to tear down the walls. So why do you falter in your answer? I asked you a question, and I expect you to answer me with promptness."

He was screaming at himself on the inside, to stop his speech before he began it. He was wrecking whatever he had with Kagome as he spoke, he could see her face start to fall, before she started to build back up the mask that had taken him days to break. She was retreating into her cold shell, because he was too. But if he did not speak to her as such, then she might smile at him and try to smooth things over. He would melt at the scene, and become more weak. She took another step back, her face still showing enough emotion for him to know that she was close to tears at this sudden transformation.

With a snapped growl, he stood up quickly from his desk, slamming his hands down onto the wood top with a thunderous impact. He saw her body jump from the sound, how she curled her shoulders slightly in sudden fear from him.

"You are wasting my time! If you cannot for one moment gather enough intelligence to tell me what it was you were going to converse with me about then I suggest you leave before I physically throw you from this room ningen!"

He knew it was a mistake the moment that it slipped from his mouth. Ningen. A very bad mistake. She had been one for most of her life, but for the past six years she had been youkai. He had given her respect, he had even given her friendship, and now suddenly he was dumping that nasty word back on her, even his voice slithered at the word, trying to pour all his hate of humans into it. He didn't want to hurt her, but maybe if he did, she would leave and he wouldn't have to deal with his growing need to have her. He saw the tears slip from her eyes in rivulets, her lower lip quivering from the sobs that she held in her delicate body.

He stopped his breathing at that sight, trying to figure out why it hurt him just as much to see her like that. Her entire body shook now as she tried to grip onto her emotions and pull them behind her mask. He saw her head bow down to hide her tears as she wrapped her arms around her chest. He slipped from behind his desk, stepping towards her with outstretched hand. No, he couldn't do this. He couldn't push her away from him like that, it wasn't within him. He couldn't hurt her like that.

"Kagome...I'm sor----"

His words were cut off when her head suddenly snapped up. Her eyes were flaring with hatred then, her youkai flaring up under her skin, reacting to her pain. Her hand came out of nowhere, and he could feel it cut across his cheek. His skin stung, and he could feel warm blood trickle down his cheek. He knew without seeing that her claws had left deep cuts in his flesh. She spat in his face squarely.

"You bastard! You dare treat me like this.. to just open me up slowly, to pretend as if you actually cared, and then stomp all over my heart and soul. I could die from how idiotic I was to trust you, and to think that I.... that I was starting to love you! Some fool I was!"

She threw something to the ground that had been tucked in the belt of her trousers, before she stomped on it and twisted her foot harshly. She glared at him one last time before she wheeled around, kicking open the double doors and taking off down the hallway. Sesshomaru was left there standing, in the biggest stun of his life. Her words were ringing harshly in his ears, but the one's that stood out the most were her last few.

'...love you.'

He felt his tears from earlier start to prick at his eyes, but now they originated from something besides his confusion. Looking down to the ground, and taking into his gaze the object she had flung, made his tears spring fresh from his eyes, and rip unforgiving down his stinging cheek. Crouching down, he pulled the flower into his hands, the petals broken and the stem snapped into many sections. She had kept the Blue Bell that he had given her, and from the fading light that was slipping into the floor, she had wished to preserve it.

She had torn the flower apart, as he had done her heart. Looking back towards where Kagome's form had been, he pulled his head back in despair and howled out in self-hatred and rage. Standing before him had been a woman who had been willing to love him, to work with him with through it all, because they were both victims of hurt and pain, and there he had been standing, screaming at her and squeezing her heart in his cruel hands.

----------

Kagome had ripped herself from the study, covering her face with her hands. How she could have let herself fall into the trap, she did not know. She thought that she had learned from Inu-yasha, that she heard learned to keep herself safe from others during her six years of travel. 'Why did I even begin to think that something good to come of Sesshomaru? Why did I even try?'

She did not even bother to return to her room, she wouldn't stay there anymore with him, she couldn't stay there anymore, not after having her heart ripped from her chest. She ran past the stunned Jaken, ran past Sakuya the servant without a word. She flew through the entrance and kept running till she was safely within the shadows of the forest. She collasped into a heap at the base of no-particular tree, crying out her despair. 'I hate you Sesshomaru...'

She felt as if her heart might burst from the pain, that she would quit breathing right then and there and let the afterlife pull her soul down. What did it matter? Whatever promise there was for the present, was dashed into the ground by Fate's cruel foot. Her tears and her sadness served as a curtain over her senses, so she did not feel nor hear the approach of the demon. Did not hear his foot crack a twig, nor feel his evil intentions bear down on her.

She was not aware of it at all, till a clawed hand ripped into her side. Her body arched in pain, while she tried to twist around and fight off her attacker. Her actions were no longer fueled by intelligent thought, but more or less by instinct. The hand tightened around something on the inside of her, making her eyes flicker in acknowledgement. The demon from earlier, he had waited for an opening to attack, and she had just given it to him. With a sickening sound of skin ripping, he pulled his hand back, to leave a hole in her side, while the Shikon No Tama stood out starkly against his red hand. Instead of glowing lavender, it was pure black.

"No...."

The demon kicked her to the side, bending over her and smiling before he popped it into his waiting mouth, and swallowed, successfully letting the jewel enter his body.

"That's right my little miko. Those few moments of hate corrupted the jewel, and now it's mine."

She tried to back up from the demon, to put together rational thought, but all she could summon was her denial. She was supposed to protect it, and within a few seconds of emotional pain, she had destroyed it's pureness, and had let it fall into another demons hands. She pulled her hand up, trying to summon up her miko powers and blast that bastard to hell, but the jewel had already done it's work, and with a speed quicker than any demons, he had leapt towards her once again, his hands squeezing her neck till she couldn't breathe.

"I'm still confused as to what I am going to do with you. At first I was just going to kill you, make it easier on myself, but then I was thinking of making you my slave, wiping away your memory and putting you under the black jewel's spell. You would make a great asset to protect me from those that might wish to take the jewel from me.... but now I'm not so sure."

Her own hands tried to rip at his, trying to find some slack that she might be able to breathe some air, but it was of no use. She tried to kick at him, tried to buck him off of her body, tried anything, but he suppressed her every move, by either his own physical body, or by a wave of the dark magic from the jewel.

"If you keep irritating me, then I will just kill you here and now. You are aware that my patience is thin."

She had somehow grabbed enough air to hiss back at him, spitting in his face as she had done to Sesshomaru.

"Fine then, kill me, I don't care."

His hands slackened then as he found defeat written clearly in her eyes. He flung her away from him then, watching as her body crumpled onto the forest floor. She did not even move to heal her wound, but instead stared up into the sky with what he could only describe as dead eyes. Fine then, he would keep her, because now he could find a better use for her. He would control her, use her for his protector, and slowly start to switch the powers of the land. Starting with the Western Lands.

----------

He didn't know what to expect. He had stayed in his study all night, afraid to trek back to his room, knowing that Kagome was so close. True, he had awakened the next morning sore and bruised from his sleeping spot in his chair. He hadn't even bothered to change his clothing, or bathe, he would do so later. His stomach was growling with the need to be fed, and he assumed the miko might show up at breakfast.

He didn't know how to go about trying to fix what he had broken, trying to show her that he had reacted only out of fear, because he too didn't know what to do. He severely hoped that he had not completely wrecked whatever chance he had with Kagome, but his demon side was assuming the worst.

He sat at the long table for many minutes on end, waiting for Kagome to show up, waiting to see her walk through the doors. She would not smile at him, but maybe she could just look at him once, if even he was given one look he would be okay. He grew agitated, worried, but he told himself he would not stand up and go to her room. He told himself that he was a taiyoukai and so he never had to go after anything in his life. 'But you must go after her!'

He jumped up and fled the dining area, speeding through the hallways till he got to her room. He stood outside her door with apprehension suddenly gripping his heart. He placed his head against the door, and took a deep breathe.

"Kagome? I wanted to speak with you about last night. I know what I did was unacceptable, I should not have spoken to you in such a way. I am sorry. I'm afraid of what is happening, I have never had a chance like this, and it frightens me that I do not know how to treat you. I don't know how to love you... and the only way I know how to eliminate problems is to mistreat them. I hope you could forgive me Kagome because... because I am in love with you."

He heard no answer from within the room, but he heard a female clear their throat behind him. He should have known by the scent, but as he turned around, he was hoping that it was the woman he was hoping to speak to. Instead it was Sakuya. She was bending over at her waist, her face in a flush at having heard her Masters words.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I thought it would be imperative to tell you that Lady Kagome is no longer here."

His eyes narrowed at the servant in anger. If she found it so imperative, why had she not told him last night.

"What do you mean she is no longer here?"

It was almost a threat, his voice was low and dangerous, and on the border of his speech a growl was hanging in the air.

"She ran from here last night, she left all of her belongings, but she has not been back since. She disappeared into the forest, and we have seen nor heard anything from her since."

He felt his heart falter more then it had last night. Kagome had left? From the impression Sakuya was giving him, it was permanent. Without another word, the miko had fled from him, and into the forest. No doubt she had fled even farther away, maybe she had returned to the old woman's village. But he somehow doubted that. 'Kagome?' He dismissed the neko servant, her cat features bringing up Kagome's face with pained reality. He truly had lost her.

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Authors Note: Alright, so emotions have been clarified on some level. Kagome has been taken, as well as the Jewel. We all know what is going to happen next. I was close to tears writing this chapter, I hate putting the characters through pain like that, but it was inevitable for the story to move along.

Now, I have a question that does need to be answered by those that read my story and feel free to review. Somewhere in the story, a relationship will bloom of course, and I am in a bind as to whether or not I should write a.... 'love scene'. NOT A LEMON! It will not be rated XXX or anything. I am aware that in some stories the presence of such a scene might ruin the story, but on the other side of the coin it could add to it.

I would just like to know what you, the readers would think. I would appreciate anything you have to say.