Baby, You're a Starr, Special Edition!

Author's Note: It should be obvious why Baby John named his lighter Zippy.

Disclaimer: "You were right. No human being would stack books like this." - Bill Murray as Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters

Chapter 4: Even More Mall Madness!

Bayville Mall

"Jean would love this necklace." Baby Paul put the necklace in the bag.

"Uh-huh." Baby Craig nodded like he wasn't listening.

"What should I get Rogue, Tabby, and Kitty?"

"I don't know, and I don't care!" Baby Craig groaned. "I just want to find John and go home!"

"Maybe you should get something for Wanda." Baby Paul grinned, making Baby Darkstar blush.

"Shut up, Starchild!" A red-faced Baby Craig snapped. The twin brothers walked towards a music store.

"Craig, I promised Rogue I'd get a CD for her." Baby Starchild told his twin brother.

"Make it snappy. And if you see John, tell him to quit burning everything and get his butt out here!" Baby Craig replied. Baby Paul ran into the store happily. Meanwhile, Baby Ray was sitting on top of a huge firecracker.

"Hehehehehehehehehehehehe." He snickered as he lit the firecracker's fuse at the end. As the fuse burned away, he began to think. "Now I know I forgot something, but what…" Baby Paul walked out. "WHAT?!?!?!" He desperately tried to blow out the fuse, but it burned away as the Baby Starr Brothers walked away from the store. "Aw shoot WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!!!!" The firecracker, with Baby Berzerker on it, shot into the store at high speed, then exploded. KABOOOOOMMMM!!!!! "OWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Baby Starr Brothers continued walking.

"Did you hear something?" Baby Paul asked.

"Nope." Baby Craig replied.

Elsewhere in the mall

"There he is!" Baby John whispered to Amara. The two mutants were hiding behind a bush. Baby John was staring intensely at a man in a pink rhino costume, handing out flyers to see some live show.

Why am I doing this? Amara thought. I'm being dragged around by some tiny clone of a guy who thinks there are monsters in washing machines and that Kathy Bates is out to kill him! Hoo boy.

"There's the monster. He's posing as one of them cutesy clowns in cheesy costumes." Baby John explained.

"Whatever." Amara rolled her eyes. She then noticed the lighter, John's beloved Zippy. It was attached to a bracelet chain that was caught around the rhino's horn. No one seemed to notice it. "There's the lighter, John. Just ask him to take it off his horn for you." John ignored Amara's sanity-filled statement.

"Here's the plan: You distract him, and I get Zippy. By the time the big lummox meets with his buddies, I'll have my Zippy back, and he'll look so stupid." Baby John snickered.

"Uhmm…How about I stay here and watch for his backup, while you get the lighter." Amara suggested, hoping she'd not have to get involved. I hope he falls for it! From what my future consort Paul told me, he may be crazy, but far from stupid. Baby John thought it over.

"Let's see…Amara's plan…Lots of risk, potential for possible serious injury…I LIKE IT!!!" Baby John grinned. "Let's do it!" Baby John leapt out of the bush and ran towards the man in the pink rhino suit. "GIMME MY ZIPPY, MONSTER!!!" The man turned around.

"What the…HEY!!!" The man yelled as Baby John leapt up and wrapped his arms around the man's neck.

"I'm outta here." Amara sighed as she walked away, grabbing her bags.

"Let go of me, ya little…" The man cursed and grumbled as Baby John held on tight, reaching for his lighter.

"You ain't gonna use my Zippy in your machine, monster!" Baby John screamed as he grabbed his lighter and leapt off the man. "Burn, baby, Burn!" Baby Pyro fired a ball of flames from his lighter as the man adjusted his mask.

"Hey what the AAAAGH!!! Call 911!!!" The man leapt about as his costume caught on fire.

"Send that to your buddies in the dryer! WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Baby John cackled as he ran away.

"HEEEEEELLLLLLP!!!! Crazy kid set me on fire!!"

Elsewhere in the mall

"Like, he's not in the toy store!" Kitty ran out of the toy store to the other X-Girls.

"Where could he have gone? No one's seen him in the music store." Tabby wondered.

"He's probably at the food court." Jean suggested. She saw Amara walk up. "What happened to you?"

"I just met Baby Pyro." Amara sighed. "He's as nutty as the original Pyro."

"If there's a Baby Pyro, then how come this whole place isn't going up in flames?" Rogue asked.

"HEEEELLLP!!!!!" The man in the flaming rhino suit ran by, Baby John in hot pursuit.

"Get back here, mate! I ain't finished with you!" He yelled, swinging his lighter because its flame formed a lightsaber blade.

"Because he's on a mission right now." Amara quipped.

"Hey!" Jean used her telepathy to hold Baby John up in the air. "So you're Baby Pyro, huh?" Baby John looked at Jean.

"You have pretty hair. Can I set it on fire?" Baby Pyro grinned.

"Have you seen that little sugahpie called Baby Paul?" Rogue asked.

"Uhmm…no." Baby John fidgeted. "I've seen Craig, though. In the food court. I wanna come down now. Put me down!" Baby John started playing with his lighter flame.

"If Baby Darkstar is there, then Baby Starchild isn't too far behind! Let's go!" Jean ordered. The X-Girls ran to the food court, Baby John being telekinetically dragged behind them.

"Hey!" Baby John yelled. "Let me go! I'll set fire to ya!! Let me outta here!!"

The toy store

"Okay, here we are! The toy store!" Paul grinned. "Kitty wanted a stuffed dragon."

"Oooooh-kay." Baby Craig grumbled as the brothers walked in.

"You take the left, I'll take the right! Find a dragon!" Baby Paul told his brother as he ran to the right side of the store. Baby Craig sighed, then ran to the left side of the store. Baby Peter stalked the aisles, looking for Baby Paul. This Baby Colossus decided to take a more "Hands-on" approach to taking out Baby Paul. He tiptoed closer to one of the Baby Starr Brothers.

{Funny, Paul normally dresses more 1980s-ish. Wait a minute, this is Paul Starr. He's a born showman. He loves to act and play characters. He's probably in disguise right now. He thinks he can fool me. Oh, I'm much smarter than that, Starr.} Baby Colossus, with an evil grin, snuck up behind the Baby Starr Brother, turned to metal, and caught him in a bearhug. Baby Colossus started trying to crush the brother.

"Hey!" The brother cried out angrily. "Let me go, now!"

"Huh?" Baby Peter let the brother go. The boy turned around to reveal an angry face, and a black star birthmark. "Craig! Uh oh…" Baby Craig, with a sneer, pulled his nightstick out of his jacket.

"Someone's in a mood for a beatdown." Baby Craig's eye flashed. Baby Peter started shaking nervously.

"Wait, wait, wait man!" Baby Peter begged. "OW! OW! OWWWWW!!!" Baby Craig beat up Baby Peter, then left the store. Baby Paul ran out a couple minutes later, with a small purple stuffed dragon.

"Kitty will love this!"

The food court

"You said he was here!" Tabby snapped at Baby Pyro. The X-Girls were in the food court, and they had found no sign of Baby Starchild or Baby Darkstar.

"Not my fault, Sheila!" Baby John snapped back. "This is where I saw 'em last!"

"AND QUIT CALLING ME SHEILA!! MY NAME IS TABBY!!!" Tabby screamed.

"I'M AUSTRALIAN!!! AUSTRALIANS TRADITIONALLY CALL GIRLS 'SHEILA'!!!!" Baby John yelled back.

"They could be anywhere, and who knows what could happen, especially with Baby Craig." Rogue sighed. Amara realized something.

"You guys, remember why Paul came here?"

"Oh yeah…" Tabby realized. "A guitar! He wanted to pick up a new guitar!"

"Of course! The music store! They have everything from vinyl records to violins!" Rogue snapped her gloved fingers.

"Let's go!" Jean said. The X-Girls ran to the music store, Baby John being telekinetically dragged behind them.

"Not again…" He moaned. "I wish I could set telekinesis on fire."

What'll happen next? Will the X-Girls find Baby Paul? Will the X-Baby Boys get their hands on Baby Paul, or will they end up in the hospital yet again? Will Baby John get to set fire to anything else? Find out in the next chapter!