Baby, You're a Starr, Special Edition!

Disclaimer: "I am the drunken Scotsman!" - Henry McCoy.

Chapter 5: Conclusion! End of the Mall Madness!

("dialogue") – translation of muffled talk, just to clear up any confusion

Bayville Mall

"Okay, now what to get Tabby?" Baby Paul mused to himself. He passed by a clothing store. "Ahh! Inspiration!" He walked into the clothing store. Baby Gambit saw Baby Paul walk in and grinned evilly.

"Alright!" Baby Remy ran off and quickly came back with a short tree that had a very long branch. Baby Gambit pulled back the branch like a slingshot, designed to swat Baby Paul when released. "Hehehehehehehehehe Dis'll take care of him once and for all!" Baby Remy waited for the right moment to release the branch. Baby Paul was approaching, and the baby Cajun waited until…"Huh?" Baby Remy looked up and saw a couple pretty girls walk by. "Whoa maman!" His tongue wagged as he unknowingly let go of the branch, and it whipped towards Baby Paul.

"Huh?" Baby Paul saw the tip of the branch whiz by the door. "Weird." The branch whipped back to Baby Remy, smacking him and sending him flying.

"OWWWWWCH!!!!!!" Baby Remy sailed over the railing, landing in a bush. Baby Starchild walked out, carrying a purple-and-black tiger-print beret.

"Tabby will definitely love this." He looked in his bag. "Okay, I got a beret for Tabby, a crown for Amara, some jewelry for Jean, a CD for Rogue, and a dragon for Kitty. Now I just gotta get my guitar, and the girls, and I'm outta here." Baby Paul walked to the music store.

The Music Store

"Man, where is he?" Jean sighed as she looked under a rack of records. The X-Girls were looking for Baby Paul in the music store. Baby John was with them.

"He's not hiding in the drums." Rogue reported.

"Nor is he in the horn section." Amara added.

"He's not even among the guitars." Kitty told Jean.

"LET ME GO!!!" A gruff voice yelled.

"Look what I found." Tabby walked up to the other X-Girls, dragging Baby Craig behind her. "Presenting: Baby Darkstar!"

"Let go of me now, Blondie!" Baby Craig yelled.

"Does he know where Baby Paul is?" Jean asked.

"I last saw him in the toy store." Baby Craig grumbled. "Blabberin' something about a stuffed dragon." The small street thug shrugged.

"As long as we're here, I could use a drum kit. An orange one." Baby John grinned.

"Hey, girls. Sorry if I worried you." The X-Girls turned to see Baby Paul. "I told Jean I was leaving, but she mustn't have heard me."

"PAUL!!!" The X-Girls crowded around Baby Paul, cooing.

"Man, how does he do it?" Baby John laughed.

"How should I know?" Baby Craig sighed, making sure his stolen game was tucked safely away from sight in his jacket.

"Are you alright, hon?" Tabby lifted up Baby Paul.

"Yeah, just gotta get my guitar." Baby Paul jumped down and picked out a guitar, a purple-and-black tiger-print Flying-V. "Man, I had fun today."

"I want a drum kit, mate!" Baby John snapped.

"Can we go home now, please?!?!" Baby Craig grumbled.

"Okay Paul, let's pay for that guitar." Jean told the tiny superstar. She took Paul's hand and took him to the cash register. Baby John whined.

"I want a drum kit!" He yelled. "Gimme a drum kit!" He started yelling loudly, jumping up and down. "I WANT A DRUM KIT!!! I WANT A DRUM KIT!!! I WANT A DRUM KIT!!! I WANT A DRUM KIT!!! I WANT A DRUM KIT!!! I WANT A DRUM KIT!!!"

"JEAN, GET HIM A DRUM KIT SO HE'LL SHUT UP!!!" Amara screamed.

"I WANT A DRUM KIT!!!" Baby John started setting things on fire in protest.

"WE'LL GET YOU A DRUM KIT!!! JUST STOP SCREAMING AND SETTING THINGS ON FIRE!!!" Rogue screamed. Baby John immediately stopped.

"I want an orange drum kit with a big gong." Baby John grinned.

The Xavier Institute

An hour later, Spiral materialized in the X-Mansion. She noticed the X-Men had covered their ears. The sounds of drums banging and cymbals crashing were all over the place.

"Thank the Goddess you arrived, Spiral!" Storm yelled over the din. "Baby Pyro has been making noise non-stop!"

"Let me guess, you put St. John behind a drum kit." Spiral smirked.

"We had to! It was the only way to get him to stop setting things on fire!" Jean yelled. "We found the Baby escapees! Paul's asleep, Craig's in the kitchen, and John's playing drums!" Then an Australian-accented voice started singing.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!! LAAAAAA!!!" Baby John crooned while doing a drum solo.

"Remy is going to kill St. John when he gets back!" Gambit growled.

"You and me both." Peter added.

"I really hate that Starchild…" Scott growled.

"I'll go get them." Spiral went to gather the escaped X-Babies. Longshot walked in the door.

"Look what I found." Longshot wheeled in four X-Babies. They were in bodycasts and sitting in wheelchairs. The only parts of their bodies that weren't covered in bandages were their eyes. They looked like mummies. Scott, Peter, Remy, and Ray looked at their bandaged counterparts.

"(I HATE THAT STARCHILD!!!)" Baby Scott screamed in a muffled voice.

"My God, what did he do to you guys?!?!" Peter asked.

"(My head hurts.)" Baby Ray moaned.

"Hey Spiral, if you ever need anyone to baby-sit Baby Paul, I'm available." Tabby grinned. "He's a sweetheart."

"Ah wanna baby-sit him!" Rogue snapped.

"No, I do!" Jean yelled. Another argument among the X-Girls started again. Spiral returned with the three X-Babies, blinking in confusion. The other X-Men sighed.

"Can we go home please, Spiral? I'm hungry." Baby Paul asked.

"I want to set something on fire." Baby John yawned. Baby Craig walked up to Scott.

"Mama's boy!" Baby Craig kicked Scott in the shin.

"OWWWW!!!" Scott leapt up and down, screaming in pain, holding his shin. "Why you little…" Craig's eye flashed.

"You are a duck!" Baby Craig said. Scott started flapping his arms and quacking.

"Quack Quack! Quack Quack!" The other X-Boys walked away from Baby Craig nervously.

"C'mon Longshot, let's get these kids home." Spiral sighed.

Mojoworld

Back in Mojoworld, the returned X-Babies were having a ball, causing chaos as usual. Baby Craig was playing his stolen video game, when he saw Baby Wanda walk by. He looked around quickly for a second.

"Hey Wanda." Baby Craig ran up to Baby Wanda. "Uhm…I got this for ya." He gave her a stuffed black cat, blushing. Baby Wanda smiled.

"Thank you." Baby Wanda smiled and gave Baby Craig a kiss on the cheek. Meanwhile, the X-Baby Girls loved the presents Baby Paul brought them. Baby John loved his new drum kit, because he was playing a never-ending solo.

"Thank you Paul." They said sweetly, giving Baby Paul a hug. The X-Baby Boys watched, still bandaged, still unable to move.

"(I hate Baby Paul. I'll get him if it's the last thing I do!)" Baby Cyclops grumbled. Baby Berzerker looked at Baby Colossus.

"(Hey wait, we never got your number, Colossus.)" Baby Ray realized.

"(Yeah, Gambit want to know.)" Baby Remy wondered.

"(My number is 13, why?)" Baby Colossus replied. The other three X-Boys started crying.

"(Why do we get all the bad luck?)" Baby Scott sobbed.

Man, those X-Boys always get the short end of the stick, no matter what form they're in. This is L1701E, hoping you enjoyed my fic. Hope to see you all again in the future!