IV: Chocolate
Throughout the next couple weeks Myra and Remus could be seen at what came to be their usual table in the library three to four times a week. Sirius, James and Peter teased him endlessly, but Remus insisted that he was merely keeping up with his homework. Myra also got her fair share of teasing from Lily and her Ravenclaw roommates, but she also maintained that all she wanted was good grades and that nothing was going on between her and Remus. And, nothing was. Even if Remus wished otherwise.
For within the last few weeks, he had really grown to like her company, grown to see her as more than a friend. He felt almost as comfortable around Myra as he did around his fellow Marauders, and that was saying something. The problem was, of course, he didn't know how she felt about him. He didn't know if she felt shivers up her arm when their hands brushed together as they reached for the same book. He didn't know how to tell her that he did. He just didn't know how to tell her that her smile sustained him during those long and tedious Potions essays; that he still heard her voice while he was lying in bed at night.
Of course he knew nothing would ever come of his feelings for Myra. Even if she felt the same way as he did, he was sure her feelings would change as soon as she knew the truth about who he was. What he was. Who would love something like him? He asked himself. But Myra, she's different! One part of him insisted. He wished he could believe that part of him. He wished he could have faith in Myra and trust her, but years of putting up walls and keeping secrets had taken their toll. It was hard, too hard, to take down the walls that had been erected for so many years.
"Alright, Remus?" Myra asked him from across the library table, bringing him out of his thoughts.
He nodded and gave her a faint smile.
"Did you hear about Holly Hatching?" she asked softly.
Remus shook his head.
"Her parents were killed just last week."
"Death Eaters?"
Myra nodded, her hands suddenly shaking.
Remus reached across and took one of them in his own larger hand.
"I just...I can't believe it. She's in my house. I never thought that those things would happen to people I know. It could be any one of us!"
"No," Remus said softly, "You know Dumbledore has protected the castle. We're safe here. Safe from Vol-"
"Don't say his name."
"Myra, you of all people should appreciate that not saying his name only increases fear of him. We need to not be afraid to say his name. Not be afraid to strike back."
Myra was filled with admiration for Remus. Once again she wished she had his courage, his steady hand and level head.
He pulled back his hand and picked up his quill.
"Now, don't you worry about things like that. There are far more important things to worry about. Like what Professor Wickle is going to say when he reads this disastrous Potions essay," Remus said with a smile.
Myra smiled, happy to be talking about lighter subject matter. She just felt like it was too much sometimes. When it was too much, panic would seize her chest and steal her breath away. She thought of her own family. Her parents living their muggle lives, oblivious of this Dark Lord that had come to power. Oblivious that wizards were being killed every day. They were blissfully ignorant of the fact that Lord Voldemort's next target would be muggles.
She gave an involuntary shiver, causing Remus to look across the table at her, a slight frown between his eyes. His hand disappeared beneath the table to reappear holding a bar of chocolate.
"Chocolate?" he offered, breaking off a piece.
"No thanks," Myra shook her head.
"It helps sometimes." He looked up at her with puppy dog eyes that she couldn't possibly say no to.
"Alright," she agreed.
As she let the chocolate melt in her mouth (it really did help), she couldn't help but be grateful to have a good friend like Remus Lupin.
Throughout the next couple weeks Myra and Remus could be seen at what came to be their usual table in the library three to four times a week. Sirius, James and Peter teased him endlessly, but Remus insisted that he was merely keeping up with his homework. Myra also got her fair share of teasing from Lily and her Ravenclaw roommates, but she also maintained that all she wanted was good grades and that nothing was going on between her and Remus. And, nothing was. Even if Remus wished otherwise.
For within the last few weeks, he had really grown to like her company, grown to see her as more than a friend. He felt almost as comfortable around Myra as he did around his fellow Marauders, and that was saying something. The problem was, of course, he didn't know how she felt about him. He didn't know if she felt shivers up her arm when their hands brushed together as they reached for the same book. He didn't know how to tell her that he did. He just didn't know how to tell her that her smile sustained him during those long and tedious Potions essays; that he still heard her voice while he was lying in bed at night.
Of course he knew nothing would ever come of his feelings for Myra. Even if she felt the same way as he did, he was sure her feelings would change as soon as she knew the truth about who he was. What he was. Who would love something like him? He asked himself. But Myra, she's different! One part of him insisted. He wished he could believe that part of him. He wished he could have faith in Myra and trust her, but years of putting up walls and keeping secrets had taken their toll. It was hard, too hard, to take down the walls that had been erected for so many years.
"Alright, Remus?" Myra asked him from across the library table, bringing him out of his thoughts.
He nodded and gave her a faint smile.
"Did you hear about Holly Hatching?" she asked softly.
Remus shook his head.
"Her parents were killed just last week."
"Death Eaters?"
Myra nodded, her hands suddenly shaking.
Remus reached across and took one of them in his own larger hand.
"I just...I can't believe it. She's in my house. I never thought that those things would happen to people I know. It could be any one of us!"
"No," Remus said softly, "You know Dumbledore has protected the castle. We're safe here. Safe from Vol-"
"Don't say his name."
"Myra, you of all people should appreciate that not saying his name only increases fear of him. We need to not be afraid to say his name. Not be afraid to strike back."
Myra was filled with admiration for Remus. Once again she wished she had his courage, his steady hand and level head.
He pulled back his hand and picked up his quill.
"Now, don't you worry about things like that. There are far more important things to worry about. Like what Professor Wickle is going to say when he reads this disastrous Potions essay," Remus said with a smile.
Myra smiled, happy to be talking about lighter subject matter. She just felt like it was too much sometimes. When it was too much, panic would seize her chest and steal her breath away. She thought of her own family. Her parents living their muggle lives, oblivious of this Dark Lord that had come to power. Oblivious that wizards were being killed every day. They were blissfully ignorant of the fact that Lord Voldemort's next target would be muggles.
She gave an involuntary shiver, causing Remus to look across the table at her, a slight frown between his eyes. His hand disappeared beneath the table to reappear holding a bar of chocolate.
"Chocolate?" he offered, breaking off a piece.
"No thanks," Myra shook her head.
"It helps sometimes." He looked up at her with puppy dog eyes that she couldn't possibly say no to.
"Alright," she agreed.
As she let the chocolate melt in her mouth (it really did help), she couldn't help but be grateful to have a good friend like Remus Lupin.