Harem Today, Gone Tomorrow
By: Brenna Dawkins and VampireNaomi
Part IV
A Jackie Chan Adventure Fanfic

Finn didn't know what to think. There he was, naked with the most beautiful woman in the world and she didn't have a...

God, life was so unfair!

"FINN!" came two shocked shouts and he turned his head. Chow and Ratso weren't in such a ready state as he was, they had probably had to encourage the chicks some.

"I know," he said.

Venus and the girls Chow and Ratso had taken looked like they didn't know where their place was supposed to be. Finn didn't know if they even realised what they were missing.

"Finn, my dear," the goddess of love murmured and pressed herself against his chest.

"Hey Finn, she doesn't have a - " Ratso started, but was cut off by an angry Irishman.

"I KNOW! I just don't want to accept it yet."

"But we have to do something. We can't just stay here forever," Chow pointed out. Finn suspected that he was the only one who had truly lost something. Chow and Ratso looked like no one had even touched them yet.

"Well, what?" he asked.

Chow shrugged.

"I dunno."

"Hey, maybe Tarakudo can help us," Ratso realised.

"Maybe you should get some ointment on those first," Chow pointed to Finn's bare chest.

"Huh?" Finn looked down. Woah, she'd clawed him in her excitement and he was bleeding... very lightly. Great, and he'd been rolling around in garbage with those. He'll probably end up getting a staff infection or worse... maybe even have to get a tetanus shot. Weird how he hadn't even felt it happen to him. He must have been so wrapped up in the moment.

Venus's voice was full of hurt, "Does this mean I won't get to have sex with you?"

God! Finn couldn't help but get a stiff because of the need in her question. "Not the usual way anyway," Finn sighed regretfully. "But dammit! I'll figure out SOME way for us to, well..." There was definitely more then one way to have sex and Finn didn't want to give up just yet, not when it seemed he and he alone would be the one to satisfy Venus's needs.

Venus's lip was trembling again and the other girls milled about just as forlornly at their impossible situation. No one was taking it very well.

"Well, it's not as if they're... real," Chow tried to whisper into Finn's ear. But Venus had overheard and gave the Chinese man a sharp slap in the face for that. "Ow! Jeeze!" Chow backed away as he rubbed his stinging cheek.

"It's dark enough that we can probably make it back to the hideout without the authorities spotting us," Ratso observed, not certain as to how he felt about the situation.

"Yeah, but Finn needs to get some clothes on first," Chow observed. Finn was now more than aware of his situation and started to look for his clothes. Venus had thrown them all over the alley.

He wasn't quite comfortable being naked around his friends, but he guessed that the sooner he got everything done the sooner things would start to make sense again.

He grimaced as he put his clothes back on. It wasn't a nice feeling against his dirty skin and injured chest.

"I need to get a shower when we get back," he muttered.

"Oh! Me too!" Venus exclaimed.

"And us!" the rest of the squad added.

"Maybe I will take it alone until we figure out how to take care of your problem," Finn replied. He actually wanted nothing more than to share a long nice shower with hot chicks, but the earlier disappointment was still fresh in his mind.

They headed back to their apartment in the dark and faced no problems. Finn had to wonder how they were going to make all girls fit in their small place and he guessed some of them would have to sleep on the floor.

And they needed something proper to cover themselves as well, as much as he would have liked to keep his eye candy.

The apartment was dark as they got in. Ratso switched on the light and they were welcomed by quite a scene:

Tarakudo was asleep in their arm chair with the Scream snoring quietly next to him.

"Well, at least those two started to get along..." Chow muttered.

"I'm going to bathe!" Finn growled and headed to the shower. When he got to the door of the restroom, he was about to close it, but something held it firmly in place.

"Can I shower with you? I mean, we wallowed in the same garbage." Venus smiled at him in a way that made Finns sweat. It was she who held the door open.

Finn peered over her shoulder. "You alone?" He was suddenly tired of the idea of having a hundred women wailing to get to him. One Venus was just about all he could handle, if at all.

She nodded, still smiling knowingly.

Finn sighed and waved her in and hastily shut and locked the door. "Why'd you have to be so damn gorgeous?"

She preened under the praise. "I AM the goddess of love."

He reached out and touched her bare skin. Silky and smooth and very real, and yet... still not whole. Not a real woman. That had been evident by his attempt at sex. It sort of crept him out, but her beauty propelled him beyond that. He'd find a way, dammit!

"I want you, Venus!" Finn pulled her to him. He couldn't help himself. She was beautiful, she wanted him as much as he wanted her and yet...

Finn turned the shower on to cool his feelings a bit. There was no way for him to enjoy Venus's female secrets yet, so he didn't want to get too excited again. It would just disappoint him in the end.

The water was warm and made Venus's hair fell flat on her back and shoulders. Several locks covered her breasts, but were not even close to hiding their beauty. She smiled at him as they stood under the running water.

The Irishman realised he had forgotten to take his clothes off.

"Damn! The fabric is not going to like this!" He kicked his shoes off and was about to move on to his shirt, but Venus was not about to just stand back and watch.

Finn yelped in surprise as she threw him against the white wall and locked her lips with his. The kiss was much more violent than he would have expected from such a goddess, and the roughness she used while clawing his wet clothes off was almost disturbing.

Venus pressed her body against his and her full breasts brushed against Finn's bare chest caressing the scratches. She was running her fingers through his hair and it seemed that she had no idea in which position she would have preferred to be.

"Hey Venus," Finn tried to calm her down, but he knew it was useless. The both of them were already getting too excited and it hurt him to know that they would not be able to go as far as they wanted.

"Please..." she whispered between the kisses and moved lower. Her tongue played against his hardening nipples and Finn had to suppress a moan.

She reached down below with her hands as she licked and grasped his manhood. Finn jerked and had to brace himself against the wall as she preformed the next best act to penetration.

His brain didn't seem to want to work right during the whole thing. God but she was GOOD! No other woman he'd had managed to make his whole body want to explode from pleasure. He had to clamp down on his tongue to keep from vocalizing his pleasure. The last thing he wanted was to be set upon by those women that waited in the living quarters in his state. He doubted he could take this nineteen more times without quite a bit of rest if they were any bit as good as Venus was.

"Th-th-that was... fanTAStic!" Finn panted afterwards.

Venus was very pleased with herself. "Of course it was!" She smiled at him, then it turned into a sad frown, "I only wish... you could do the same for me, but it appears, I don't have the correct plumbing."

"I'm sorry, Venus. You know if there was ANY way, I'd do it for you, but..." he made a helpless gesture. "We'd better wash up and get back out there before the others get murderously jealous."

Venus nodded and stood. They soaped each other up, Finn taking a moment to fondle her breasts, which made her moan. But nothing much more came from that, sadly. He had a feeling it would take a Hell of a lot more to give her an orgasm. Once they finished their shower and towel dried themselves they got dressed in cleaner clothes and opened the door to which Finn yelped and jumped back, his hand over his heart.

Tarakudo floated in front of the door, not looking very happy at all. "THIS is my army, Finn? Do I even have to state how very disappointed in you I am?"

"Wah, you scared me T-dude," Finn said. He had been waiting for this moment only to get it over with. "You see..."

Tarakudo tilted himself in the air and glanced at Venus.

"Not strong, not scary, no real magical talent. Useless," he declared getting an angry "Hey!" from the goddess.

"You don't understand now, these girls are a very strong army. Somehow," Finn said.

Tarakudo lifted a brow at him.

"Indeed," he muttered. "These girls, as you call them, are no use for me and my plan. You have failed me. Again."

"We can do lots of things!" one of the other girls exclaimed from another room. Tarakudo didn't even bother to turn in that direction.

"Though not to a floating head. It seems that someone has it worse than me and the rest," Venus announced.

"I don't want to know. There again, I think I know already," the floating Oni sighed. Then he turned his attention on Finn again. "I give you one day to get me my army or prove that these girls can do more than whatever you just did back there."

Finn laughed nervously, "He-he-hey, Tarakudomundo! I can prove it to you already! Back at the museum where we, um, acquired our army, we were surrounded by guards and they didn't want to touch us, even though they wanted to stop us." He didn't bother mentioning how they'd been chased by Black and his get. Black wasn't quite as mesmerized by the workings of magic as the guards at the museum had been. And besides, all the ladies had been somewhat meagerly dressed, while they had been nude except for Venus at the museum. He blinked when he remembered the horseman and wondered what it had done to Black and what it was doing now.

"Truly?" Tarakudo raised an eyebrow. "You are saying their bodies are enough to stop a man in their tracks?"

Finn nodded and Venus smiled wickedly to herself.

"But I need an army that can do more then that. I need an army that can kill, destroy, and conquer. These ladies are too demure for anything remotely approaching those tasks," The Oni said doubtfully.

They sure had seemed ready to claw each other in one major catfight to get to him earlier, Finn thought to himself.

"Can I keep 'em? Come on, you know a happy Enforcer is a productive Enforcer," Finn tried to sweet talk the demon.

But Tarakudo only snorted, "We may keep them around for just a little longer, but as soon as I discover they cannot serve my purpose, they... go."

Well, that was better than what Finn had thought. He had been almost sure of that the Oni wouldn't let him keep his harem.

"Thanks! They won't cause any trouble!" he promised eagerly.

"Hmm..." Tarakudo muttered in thought. "Before we try anything else, I would be happy to know exactly HOW you make art alive."

Finn shrugged.

"Hey, I have no idea either," he said. The Oni turned his eyes on Venus.

"And you?" he inquired.

"I just am here," the goddess replied. Finn noticed that she didn't seem to like Tarakudo at all. He didn't find that very surprising. He couldn't think of anyone who would like a maniac floating head.

Tarakudo didn't look happy at all.

"Hmm, this requires further study then," he said. "I will go and try to find out something while YOU stay here, don't cause any more trouble and come up with a way to give me a useful army." He disappeared after saying that.

Finn turned to the others. Most of the girls had taken their place on the sofa while some others were sitting all around the apartment. The Scream was there as well, sleeping happily in the arms of Mary Madonna.

"I'm gonna watch some TV," Ratso replied, hoping something so normal would make things all right somehow.

Chow wriggled in between two of the women on the couch and grabbed the remote before Ratso had the chance.

"It was MY idea," Ratso grumbled and sat on the arm of the sofa since it was very crowded.

Chow smirked, "Then you should have been quicker about it." He turned the TV on and saw it was the local news and was about to change it until a freakily familiar horseman flashed by the camera. There was much mayhem happening about the Golden Gate Park. It seemed a wild horseman was charging after innocent bystanders for no reason. The cops had been called and didn't seem to have much luck in containing the crazy bastard.

"Oh man!" Chow winced. "Hey Finn! Your pet horseman is rampaging about San Fran!"

Finn blinked and then moved closer to the TV with Venus still attached to his arm and following him. "Dude, I don't need this right now." He sighed.

"Hey, that guys pretty good. Maybe Tarakudo can be satisfied with just him for a while and maybe will let us keep the girls for longer," Ratso said hopefully.

"He's a menace!" Finn gestured at the TV with his hand.

"That's exactly what the boss wants." Chow reminded his cohort.

"Great. So we go down to the park and collect him, bring him here, THEN what?" Finn demanded.

Chow shook his head. "He's YOUR creation."

"Tarakudo said for me to STAY HERE! I'm not gonna screw up any more today!" Finn said fiercely.

"You think the boss would be happy to find out that we let a promising warlord get away from him?"

Well now, Finn's brows knitted together and he exhaled in exasperation. "If we do this, YOU are going to take the heat, Chow!"

Chow shook his head again, "Heck no. This is YOUR mess, not mine! I'm just saying you got a choice."

"Great," Finn muttered forlornly and placed his hand over Venus's for comfort, "Some choice. Just wish I knew which he'd considered to be a greater screw up."

"So," Ratso said after a moment of silence, "What are we going to do?" Everyone's eyes turned on Finn. He had to wonder why everyone always supposed him to solve the mess they were in.

He sighed.

"I guess we could go and find the horse and the rider, but we would have to do it fast. I don't want Tarakudomundo to find out we didn't follow his orders," he said.

"Yeah, he's already kinda pissed off," Ratso added.

Venus shot a questioning look at Finn.

"Why do you care so much about what the floating head wants? You are better than him!" she said.

"Yeah!" the other women agreed in union.

"Gee, maybe it has something to with that Tarakudo is powerful enough to do anything to us if he wanted?" Chow guessed sarcastically.

"This is leading us nowhere. If we are going to go we must do it now," Finn said.

Everything was silent for a while. He realised they were waiting for his decision again.

Finn swore to himself and for the millionth time thought, 'Why me?'

He gave Chow and Ratso the evil eye. "Look, who's to say that Mr. Oni is going to find out about the horseman?" He tried mostly to fool himself, "I mean... come on..." But at everyone's blank stares he exhaled in one long gust and felt sorry for himself again, "Fine. But we can't ALL go." That got a loud protest from the women.

"But... we hadn't even gotten a chance at you yet and you promised!" one of them whined loudly which was followed by a sharp chorus of "Yeah!"

Finn rubbed his forehead at a complete and total loss. He couldn't bring everyone on this particular fetch and carry. "Listen, Chow, Ratso, can you stay and look after them?"

"They aren't going to listen to us," Chow said with a hint of jealousy.

Finn sighed again, "Listen girls, you lot stay here with Chow and Ratso. They'll... keep you entertained. I'm going out for a bit but I'll be right back. Do whatever they ask you to do, as long as it isn't... too perverted." He slid the two Enforcers a warning look which won him two nasty looks right back. "Hey, they're MY harem. Not yours."

Chow snorted, "Yeah, but with a harem, a REAL harem, you get to sleep with 'em and these, no can do-oh."

"You going to bring the horseman back alone?" Ratso asked uncertainly.

Finn grabbed onto the ever present Venus's arm, "She's coming with me." There was a wave of unhappy sentiment that rose from the girls once more as they perceived Finn's favoritism of the peculiar beauty.

Venus only smiled and just as possessively held onto Finn. "Let's go."

San Francisco was a beautiful city at night, even if some people had nasty things to say about it. Some people just preferred countryside to cities while others didn't think there was anything more beautiful than a dark city with lights.

Finn had never really bothered to think about such matters. To him San Francisco was just home, nothing else. And he could mention many not so beautiful things about the city as well.

But there again, he didn't think there had ever been anything as beautiful as Venus in the city. Sure, the other girls were nice too, but Venus was by far his favourite.

"Where are we going to find the horseman?" Venus asked. Before they had left she had grabbed one of Finn's shirts and trousers and was now fully clothed. Quite a nice plan considering that they were going to wander all around the city.

"I don't really know. He was on TV, so we better start looking for him from the Golden Gate Park. That was where we revived him, wasn't it? Maybe he won't leave his home that easily," the Irishman guessed.

"Could be," Venus agreed.

The Enforcer's apartment wasn't too far from the park, so it didn't take long for the duo to reach it. There were many people, cameras and police around.

They stopped at the edge of the crowd.

"This could cause trouble," Finn muttered.

He wished he had some sort of dog whistle or something to call the statue over to him. Then Finn got an idea. He'd seen Jade in action often enough to get a feel for her kind of slyness.

Hoping this would work, he shouted and pointed in another direction, "Hey... there's another one over there! Oh my God, I think it has a hold of a kid!"

Suddenly, the crowd around his statue broke and with a string of shouts and commands, the cops and the gathered crowd of bystanders were off to hunt for his phantom statue. His yelling had got the things attention and it charged his horse right towards Finn. Finn grabbed a hold of Venus and then shoved her to the side in case the crazed statue had plans of trampling him. But it brought the horse up to a sharp halt and it skidded to a stop hoof to toe to Finn.

"There you are, Master! I've been looking all over for you!"

Finn could hear the frantic relief from the creature and hoped it didn't want to have sex with him. "Come on, we're going home! And we'd better hurry before the cops come back!"

So Finn helped Venus onto the horses back and he trotted alongside the statue all the way home. When he got there, he was seriously out of breath. You'd think he'd be in better shape after running away from Chan all the time.

When he strolled into the living quarters, the girls, Scream, the Enforcers, and... Finn's triumph quickly wilted, Tarakudo were there waiting for him.

"Did I NOT tell you to stay here, Finn?" He could tell the Oni was seriously pissed and prayed he could talk himself out of harms way.

"Well, um, yes, you did. But I have a VERY good reason-"

"You know what happens when servants start to think on their own?" The Oni growled menacingly and floated closer to Finn and Venus and the horseman.

Finn didn't know, he didn't want to find out either.

"The Master gets RID of them!" Tarakudo let the threat sink into a visibly shaken Finn.

Finn stared.

"That was a joke, right?" he tried to chuckle, but one look at Tarakudo's furious face was enough to tell him otherwise.

"Hardly," the Oni replied.

Finn felt Venus wrap her arms around him and from the corner of his eye he saw the horseman stiffen.

"You have to go through me if you want to hurt my Master," he said formally. Tarakudo turned his eyes on the living statue.

"Hmm, a bit better," he said. "But it doesn't change the fact that you rebelled against my orders."

"What are you going to do?" Finn asked. He was sure he didn't want to know, but that was the question that just HAD to be asked in such a situation.

"This," Tarakudo replied and with one shudder of the air Venus was gone. She didn't even have time to yelp.

But Finn did.

"Venus!" he exclaimed and turned around to look for the woman. She was of course nowhere to be seen. "What did you do to her?" he asked, now in rage instead of fear.

"That was your punishment. For every mistake you make I will be taking one of your beautiful women away," the Oni said calmly.

Finn hated... hated the Oni quite unlike anything he had hated before. Not even Shendu reserved so much of the Enforcer's hatred.

"Where IS she?" Finn had the audacity to demand of the demon.

Finn clenched his fists and bared his teeth and trembled. His favorite was forever gone! It couldn't be! Why? Why her? Out of all, she was the one he had cherished the most... the question of which immediately was answered. It was the ultimate punishment. The oni had known how much Venus had meant to him. And this was the punishment the most severe. Trembling still over his loss, he dared to stand up to the creature.

"No! You'll bring her back!"

The oni shook his head, "What is gone is gone and she is lost. Pray that you do not follow her."

Finn wanted to weep. Venus was gone! None of the others held his interest so as Venus had done! It wasn't fair! What was he going to do now?

"And what of this one?" The oni's attention disdainfully turned to the horse and rider.

Chow, sensing Finn's distress, stepped up dutifully, "Ummm... this is your leader of armies. He will obey every command." He didn't bother to admit those commands were to be solely Finn's. But Finn was in no state to talk. Finn looked quite... wretched, Chow had figured. He had no idea Venus had had such an affect on his friend.

The oni didn't look quite convinced. "You sure?"

Chow shrugged. It was no use turning to Finn in such a time. Finn was next to useless at the loss of his Venus.

"Then let us see his metal," The oni declared at last, to which Chow and Ratso glanced at each other in the mutual look each other knew too well. The look that said...'We're in trouble.'

To be continued...