Harem Today, Gone Tomorrow
By: Brenna Dawkins and VampireNaomi
Part V
A Jackie Chan Adventure Fanfic

After the dreadful scene Chow led Finn back inside. The Irishman was in no condition to understand everything that was happening around him, so Chow made him sit on the sofa before his knees gave under him.

The smaller man was surprised to notice how much Venus's doom had shocked his friend. It was so unreal, Finn had had many women in his life and the loss of any of them hadn't trembled him this much.

"You okay?" Ratso asked carefully. All the other women were silent for a change and their eyes were fixed on their beloved.

Finn didn't reply.

"What exactly happened?" Ratso asked turning to Chow. The other man shrugged.

"I don't really know. Tarakudo didn't like it that Finn ran off, so he killed Venus. I think," he said.

"Oh," Ratso said glancing at Finn. "That's bad."

"Yeah. And our fault too. We made him go," Chow added.

Tarakudo had left in anger and everyone was happy to not have the Oni around for the moment. Even though the other women hadn't been happy with Finn paying so much attention to Venus, they had liked her on some level and were sad because of her.

And they hated to see their master in any sort of pain as well. They were also shaken by the fact that any of them could be next. Be poofed out of existence forever without a chance of knowing Finn intimately.

"Hey, Finn? Look, I'm sorry I ever suggested it," Chow had no idea how he could make amends. My God, he thought to himself, had Finn been... in love? Was that the reason for this robotic stupor? That'd never happened before. And it wasn't like Finn could have great sex with her, so he really couldn't fathom the reason why Finn had fallen so hard for the painting. "Finn?"

But Finn was in no mood to talk... to anyone. True, he'd only barely known Venus, and for less than twenty-four hours... but was it possible to fall in love in less time then that? He fought back tears that threatened to flow. He suddenly missed Valmont. Valmont would have let him keep Venus. Sure, the other girls were okay, and whether or not they made a descent army, Valmont probably wouldn't have minded having them decorate the hideout either. God, when had life suddenly gone down the drain for him? It was as if the entire world was out to make sure his life was a miserable Hell. And right then, he had the strong urge to get royally drunk.

After a moment of silence and soft sobs from one of the girls - Finn couldn't tell who and didn't care - Chow decided to take the matters into his hands.

"You know Finn, we could always find a copy of the painting and revive a new Venus," he suggested. His friend lifted his head.

"It wouldn't be the same. The Venus in the museum was the real one, a fake can never replace her," he said.

Chow sighed.

"Well, a fake woman seemed to be good enough for you, so why not - " he started, but was interrupted by an angry Irishman.

"Shut up! It was your fault we even went there! I was stupid to listen to you, your ideas never work! Without you she would still be here!"

Chow blinked. It was a rare thing for Finn to blow up like that. He felt sorry for his friend, but he thought Finn was taking it a bit too seriously. Venus hadn't been real and that's it.

"So you must have loved her," he muttered to himself. Fortunately Finn didn't hear.

"I'm going out," the Irishman replied suddenly.

"Do you think that's a good idea? After what Tarakudo did - " Ratso started, but Finn didn't let him finish either.

"What do I have to lose anymore?" he asked.

Chow and Ratso glanced at each other.

"He is frighteningly depressed over that chick," Chow remarked. He felt bad for how he had acted and he thought he should have said something, but... maybe it was time for Finn to be alone for a while.

Finn walked out into the night on the streets of San Francisco. He didn't know where he intended to go, he just... wandered. His mind was on Venus. He couldn't help it. He hoped that she hadn't felt any pain when Tarakudo had poofed her. His eyes felt like they were all prickly with tears he refused to shed.

Blindly, he stumbled on, not knowing where he was going, not caring. Until... he found he came to a halt in front of Uncle's Rare Finds shop. He stood there for a moment, wondering how he came to find himself there. It was either that or to get help from Section 13. Yeah, right. And just what sort of help was he intending to ask the old Chan geezer for anyway? He had no idea.

For a moment he just stood there staring at the shop. There was light in the windows so someone was still up. Was Chan there?

Somehow he doubted it. They hadn't seen the archaeologist at all during the day and he was always fighting them if they did something. Finn guessed that the Asian had something more important to do.

Should he knock at the door?

The thought didn't surprise him as much as it should have. He knew what he wanted and there was only one way to get it.

With hesitating steps he walked to the door, ignored the "Closed!" sign and knocked a couple of times. There was no reply at first, but then he herd steps and someone came to the door.

"What is it? Can you not read?" an angry voice asked and Finn found himself staring at the face of the old Chan. When Uncle realised who was outside his eyes widened and he drew a deep breath.

"A criminal!" he exclaimed and pointed an accusing finger at Finn. The Irishman couldn't have cared less.

"Is Cha - Jackie here?" he asked and tried to see inside the shop.

"No, but Uncle can - " Uncle started, but Finn was quick to interrupt him.

"Good, let me in then."

"Never interrupt Uncle!" There was a loud whack which left Finn rubbing his temples. Dude, that was annoying!

"What do you want?" the old man asked, still not letting him in. Finn guessed it was a pretty sensible thing to do,
considering his background.

Well, he wouldn't let it stop him. Not this time. Tarakudo had taken Venus away with magic, and only magic could bring her back. This irritating old man was his only chance.

Uncle pocketed a rare and valuable item, "I have nothing of value that you could possibly want!"

But Finn had seen, not that at the moment he couldn't have cared even if it had been the Queen's Jewels the old man had tried to secret away without him seeing. "Look, um... Uncle," for the life of him, he didn't know of any other name for the old goat, "I wouldn't come here if I weren't really desperate, you know that. I was wondering... if you could do me... well... a favour?"

Uncle snorted. Was he hearing things? Did a dangerous criminal just ask sweet old Uncle for a favour? He thought to himself then shook his head, "NO! Get out! I owe you NO favours!"

But Finn wasn't going to budge until he got what he wanted, he just wished he knew of an easier way of getting it.

"Wait! Please! Let me at least explain! It's about magic!" he exclaimed hoping that the old man would listen to him out of interest.

Uncle's eye brows shot up, but he still looked more than sceptic. There again, Finn guessed he always looked like that.

"You want to talk about living paintings, hm? Why should Uncle listen?" the old man asked.

"You know about that?" Finn asked in surprise.

"Of course! TV is full of it and irritating government agents keep Uncle's phone busy because of you!"

"Should have known..." Finn didn't know why he hadn't thought of it before. Of course Black had gotten Uncle on his side.

Uncle crossed his arms on his chest.

"What do you want?" he asked then.

"Could you at least let me in? I think it's going to rain soon," Finn said.

"No. You stay out. Uncle never lets criminals in his shop! You steal!"

Finn sighed. Well, this was better than he had dared to hope.

"Okay, here's the deal," he started.

Uncle thought to himself, 'This ought to be good.'

"Help me out and I'll let you get rid of Tarakudo," he tried to say so sweetly.

Uncle blinked. "We are trying to get rid of him ANYway! What sort of a deal is that?"

Finn nodded, "But I won't get in your way of doing it. Come on, whaddaya say?"

"No."

"Come on, old man! As you said, you were going to get rid of him anyway... um, I can tell you where our hide out is!"

"Can you tell me how you brought all those things to life?" Uncle asked, with a flicker of interest.

Finn had the presence of mind to look humble, "Erm, no. I have no idea, and neither does Tarakudo, but I bet YOU sure could figure it out," Finn decided flattery might help smooth things along.

Uncle snorted, "Flattery will get you know where, but, you are right! Okay, get in here. But... only after I call down Tohru! TOHRUUUUUUU!" Uncle shrieked.

Finn winced at the piercing shriek and at having to work WITH the huge man once more. This wasn't going to be pleasant one way or the other. He should have guessed things would have been as such. He sighed and waited to get growled at by the large ex-Enforcer.

There were loud steps when Tohru came downstairs and from the look on his face Finn guessed that the sumo had been trying to fall asleep. His nightgown also suggested that.

"What is it sens - what is he doing here?" Tohru's voice and expression changed completely when he saw his former colleague.

"He will be assisting us for a while," Uncle replied calmly and walked past Tohru to get his books.

"So I can come in?" Finn asked. He sure didn't want to anger either of his enemies at the moment.

"Weren't you listening to Uncle? Come in! We need you," the old man said in irritation and Finn entered on a similar mood. He was already more than fed up with the whole shop. The thought of Venus was the only thing that kept him from running away.

He took a seat near Uncle and tried not to pay attention to Tohru, who kept a stern eye on him.

"No tricks," the Japanese warned him.

"Don't worry big dude, I am not in the mood for any," Finn muttered in reply. He got a confused look from Tohru, but neither of them got to say anything else when Uncle took over again.

"So how about finally telling us what you want?"

He doubted he'd get any sympathy at all from the two. He wasn't an idiot. He also figured that the old goat would want the whole story. Well, he'd tell most of it, just not the part about rolling around with Venus in the garbage. Or the shower. So he told them about the story from the moment they chatted with Tarakudo right after the demon mask fight and then right up to the mess they were in now... minus Venus's affect on him.

"You left Ratso and Chow alone with all those women?" Tohru knew his ex-cohorts well enough.

Finn wouldn't look over at the big Japanese man. "Well, yeah. With Scream and the warrior statue dude.

"I still do not understand why this would make you want to seek our help. I doubt Tarakudo takes betrayal in stride."

Finn inhaled sharply and recalled just how the horrible oni dealt with those who defied him. Venus. God! A hot stab of hatred for the oni jabbed him in the gut and heart. "I hate Tarakudo! I hate him more then anything! We're nothing but his slaves, pawns! Expendable resources! Plus he-!" Finn snapped his mouth shut. He was about to tell them he had killed Venus.

Well, he didn't know for sure if kill was the proper term. Was she ever really 'alive' in the first place? Well, alive enough to make him fall madly head over heels for what had once been a simple painting. There was no way they could understand! Besides, he wasn't going to give them the chance or the pleasure of dragging Venus's name through the mud, if only because she had loved him, an Enforcer... one of the bad guys.

Uncle raised an eyebrow, taking note of an obvious omission. He wished he knew what Finn was not telling them. It could prove helpful. "Why now, though,
Finn? You've been with Tarakudo for a while. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Finn hung his head and stared at nothing. They were going to be merciless about it. They would not rest until they knew WHY he really came to them. Well FINE then!

"Tarakudo killed her!" Finn growled between clenched teeth and clenched fists. Uncle and Tohru glanced at each other in surprise.

"Tarakudo killed who?" the Japanese asked with a careful and interested tone

Finn bit his lip and stared stubbornly at the floor. He didn't want to open his heart to his enemies, it was just too personal.

"One of the paintings," he muttered.

"Bleh, she wasn't real then," Uncle declared closing his eyes. His whole figure screamed "I don't care!" in Finn's direction.

"Never say that about her," the Irishman growled in anger making the old man stare at him in surprise. "She was a beautiful, breathing being with real feelings! She did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to die!"

"Seems that you cared about her then, no?" Uncle asked. His tone made Finn glare at him in annoyance, and the Irishman didn't reply.

"Thought so," was Uncle's reply. Then he sighed and rubbed his temples. "But if you want Uncle to do something, you tell everything you know about this new magic."

Finn thought, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him. Just how did this all happen? Did he tell the old man everything that was important? Maybe it was something he missed? He reran the whole scenario in his head, from the moment Tarakudo left them high and not quite so dry 'till the moment Scream became his 'baby'. Nothing much of interest had happened, he thought with frustration. So how... wait...!

"Well, I thought I had lost my medallion after the battle was all said and done. Then when I found it, it was lodged inside the totem." It was all he could think about that happened out of the ordinary... well, considering how ordinary his life was now, anyway.

Without a by-your-leave, Uncle grabbed his medallion and hauled it and a surprised Finn closer for inspection. He adjusted his glasses and scowled as he tried to sense any energy at all coming from it. "Tohru! My blowfish!"

"Wouldn't the lizard work better for this one?" The Japanese man asked as he went for the bauble.

"Second guessing Uncle?" Uncle growled in his high pitched voice. "Someone sounds like they want to clean the gutters of shop!"

Tohru sighed and handed the old man the blowfish. Finn was still wearing the medallion and didn't like being so close to his enemies. Plus the old man smelled of mung beans, something he personally detested.

Uncle had the blowfish positioned over the medallion as Finn eyed the man warily. Uncle asked before he began the incantation, "What totem animal was it lodged in?"

"Ummmm, the snake, I think. A fang broke off when I managed to dislodge it from its mouth."

That brought a terrified gasp out of Uncle who let go of the medallion suddenly and backed up.

"What's wrong, sensei?" Tohru asked, alarmed.

"Dude, what? All I said was snake. And snakes just make things invisible, right?"

"For Chinese zodiac animals, yes! Not for Native American! You are cursed! And you allowed me to touch cursed obje-e-e-e-ect!"

Finn's eyes widened. "Cursed? Hey! I'm NOT... cursed." His vehemence dwindled as he thought it through and then rubbed his temple with a callused finger. "Great. That totem pole was cursed?"

"No, you defaced Native American totem. It is sacred. Defacing it is what cursed you. By breaking the tooth of snake... aiiiiyaaah! Snake is the key to transformation in many Native American legends."

"Maybe that is how he manages to bring those objects to life?" Tohru asked thoughtfully.

Uncle nodded and glared at Finn who just managed to look anxious. "I will need to research! And you, Finn, must help me, since you are one cursed!"

"But I am NOT cursed! Listen, I have the power to bring all these hot chicks alive and nothing bad - " Finn started, but then the realization kicked in.

Venus

Had it been a mere coincidence, or had her death been part of the supposed curse? He wrapped his fingers around his medallion and gave it a sharp glare. Was THIS the reason he had lost his love?

"What do I need to do?" he asked letting go of the trinket.

"We have to remove the curse! That is the only way to return everything back to normaa-aal!" Uncle bellowed and shoved something furry in the Irishman's arms. "Hold this!

"What is this? Finn asked in contempt and tried to keep the thing away. It stank.

"It's a protective squirrel! It will keep you save from the curse until I have created a counter spell!" Uncle said turning to Tohru.

"Dude! This is totally bunk! She's dead! So, what'er you gonna do about it?" Finn tossed the squirrel back to the old man angrily.

Uncle scowled, "You want help with this, ye-e-e-s?"

"Um, yeah." Finn said much quieter.

Uncle raised his voice in agitation, "Then you DO as Uncle tells you! How can you expect me to do all when it is YOU who came to ME for help!"

"U-u-uh," Finn floundered. The man never ever seemed to make any sense.

"Here! Take this!" Uncle handed Finn a potion.

"Ugh! Smells like Ratso's socks! No way, dude!"

"DRINK!" Uncle commanded in a no nonsense tone.

"Better not be poison," Finn muttered and drank the potion.

Uncle grumbled to himself as he began searching about his shop for important objects to aid him in his work. "Ungrateful. Unreliable. Young fool not know any better!"

"Dude, I'm right here. I can hear everything you're saying about me," Finn said offended. Impossible old goat! That stuff tasted worse then Ratso's socks too. "What was that stuff you gave me anyway?"

Uncle leaned very close and brought his left eye inches from Finn's face.

"That," he started dramatically, "is Uncle's secret counter spell for curses! Look!" The old man suddenly grabbed the chain around Finn's neck, and with one sharp yank the medallion was in his hand.

Finn wasn't impressed. "I had to drink that for THIS? And you broke my chain! I just got it today!"

"With the potion inside you Uncle was able to touch the cursed artefact. Now we can get rid of the curse and Uncle can go to sleep!" Uncle said.

"No, that's not what I wanted! You must help me bring Venus back," Finn tried to explain as he watched how Uncle threw amounts of this and that in a small cauldron he had mysteriously found.

The old man stopped his work for a moment. "Do you know more about magic than Uncle? No? Then sit still and watch!"

Finn buried his face in his hands. It had been such a lame idea to come to Chan's Uncle for help...

To be continued...