(*****) the change of POV
Special
By Misaki Sakura
Chapter 3 : Desperation
It's been three weeks since the arrival of that Kudou person and everything seems to get worse and worse. I don't know what he's thinking but it seems like he likes to show their closeness to anyone. Especially me. Considering that he knows my feelings for Ken, I think that he's mocking me.
Now, sitting alone on the bench under the tree behind the schoolyard, I start pitying myself. There's no need for me to love someone again. Oh, yes, I had loved someone other than my family. I don't want to mention her name again. She came into my life, ruining it and left after I told her I was in love with her. No luck for me in love, I've known it all along. Then why do I bother falling in love again?
One said that love comes without control. You can't control it or deny it. Maybe ... maybe that's right. Actually that can describe what I'm feeling right now. I can't control my feeling for that adorable brunette though I know that he'll never accept me.
"Ken ..." I whisper his name quietly.
"What is it, Fujimiya-san?"
I snap my head up hearing the unexpected response from him. How long he'd been here?
"How long have you been here?"
"Not too long but long enough to know that you're daydreaming." He sits beside me. I can't see Kudou around. Where is he?
"Who are you looking for?"
"...Kudou."
"Oh, he's not here. Too busy flirting with the teachers maybe."
"Eh, what did you say, Hidaka-san?"
"Nothing. Why are you calling me Hidaka-san again?! You called me Ken before."
"Sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about. Man, why do you have to be sorry for? Anyway, since you're calling me by my surname, let me call you by your surname too. Is that okay with you, Ran?"
Hearing him calling my name instead of 'Fujimiya-san' makes me feel somewhat ... happy. It can be caused by the closeness in his voice but whatever it is, I still feel happy.
"Anou ... Ran, how's Aya? I heard she has a headache and can't come today."
So, he talks to me to get information about Aya. Every thing's for Aya. There's nothing about me that he concerns for, nothing. I can't blame him but I can help myself but to glare at him and answer with an icy tone.
"She'll be fine." I get up and start to live when I feel a grip on my wrist. Ken's.
"Ran, do you hate me? Why do you always seem to be mad at me?"
I yank my hand out of his grip and walk away without saying anything. Probably that's the best. For me, him, and Aya. But I still feel uneasy. Who's that Kudou actually? How can he be that close to Ken?
*****
I stare at his back as he walks away, leaving me alone. Why does he have to be so cold to me? I can't remember if I've done something that pissed him off. He has no right to be that unpleasant at me.
"Kenken, what are you doing here?"
"I think that question supposedly goes back to you. What are you doing here, Yotan?"
"It's not polite to ask question to someone when you haven't answered his."
"Fine. I was just wondering if Ran was feeling unwell, so I approached him. We ... talked for a while, then when I changed the topic to his sister, he left me here."
"I don't think speaking about his sister is a good idea."
"And why is that?"
He stares at me, making me feel very uneasy. "What?!"
He sighs. "You'd better not to talk about her in front of him, not when he knows that you like her."
"He ... knows? What do you mean that he knows?"
"From what I see, Fujimiya is not stupid. He'll know that of course. And since you know that he likes you, it wouldn't be good to talk about her."
"Are you still thinking that Fujimiya Ran has a thing for me? Yotan, that's ridiculous! I don't want to talk about this anymore."
I start to walk away when he says, "You'll see."
I grunt and leave him.
*****
I reach home just in time to make dinner for Aya. I see another pair of shoes that I don't know but I think that's only Aya's friend. I don't notice that they're boys' shoes. "Tadaima."
"Okaeri nasai, nii-chan. I'm in the kitchen." She replies.
"In the kitchen? But you're not feeling ... well ... yet ..." I stop when I see her in the kitchen.
It wouldn't be shocking if I only saw her alone but I shock me when I see a boy's cooking and Aya sits at the table, grinning widely at me. That boy turns around and gives me a sheepish smile.
"Good evening, Fujimiya-sensei."
That boy is one of the members of the soccer team. Ken's soccer team. "Who are you?"
"I am Suzuki Touma. Nice to meet you."
"Nice ... to meet you too."
With that, I pull Aya out of the room. "What's this?"
"I'm introducing my koibito to you, onii-chan."
"Koi ... bito?" Aya's koibito?!
"Yes. He's the reason why I join the soccer team. We're in the same class last year and I like him."
"Do ... do Ken know about this?" that's a really stupid question but I can't help myself but to ask.
"Of course not. I don't want anyone else to know before you, nii- chan. You're the first person I tell about this."
"Aya ... Aya, do you know that ... Ken likes you?"
"Ken-kun ... what?"
"He likes you, Aya."
"... Is that the reason why you never told him about your feeling?"
"...One of them."
"But ... I think of him only as a brother, nothing else."
"Aya, ... it's okay. You can be with whoever you want to be with. I'll support you. But what about Ken? Do you want to tell him this?"
"You know ... I can't. I don't want to see his sad face. Anyway, he never told me about it. I can't possibly tell him just like that."
"So ... you'll let the others tell him?"
"I want you to tell him."
"What?! Aya, I can't! ... I can't."
"Why?"
"I don't want to see him ... sad ..."
Aya smiles at me bitterly. "He'll know sooner or later, nii-chan."
I frown a bit. Taking my car keys, I slam the door behind me.
I don't know what I'm thinking as I drive my car to the bar's parking spot. Maybe I'm desperate. I've never felt like this before. The image of Ken starts floating in my mind and his voice echoes in my ears.
"Anou ... Ran, how's Aya? I heard she has a headache and can't come today."
Aya, Aya, that's all he thinks about. He never thinks about me and never will. I think I have accepted this fact long ago, so why I am still feeling this?!
Then ... Aya's koibito. How will Ken take this? With anger? Defeat? Rage? Either way, he'll still be sad. But there's that Kudou. He'll help him. Why him and not me? It's simple. Cause I'm too coward to do it. The fear of being rejected is too great.
I enter the bar and sit in front of the bartender, ordering some bottles of beer. I want to be completely spent tonight without anymore thinking about Ken or Aya or her boyfriend. The bartender looks at me unsurely but gives me my orders right away. After the third bottle, I swipe my eyes to the other side of the bar and see someone who's extremely familiar to me. He's laughing with some ... women, arms winding their shoulders. There, in all his glory, is Kudou Youji.
******* TBC *******
A/N : Saa! This is the third chapter. I'm so happy for the reviews. They're what keep me doing this. You think Ran is not OOC? I personally think that way. But I think he'll be like that when he's jealous. Anyway, feel free to review. And 'something' is going to happen in the next chapter. Please keep reading. Thank's!
Special
By Misaki Sakura
Chapter 3 : Desperation
It's been three weeks since the arrival of that Kudou person and everything seems to get worse and worse. I don't know what he's thinking but it seems like he likes to show their closeness to anyone. Especially me. Considering that he knows my feelings for Ken, I think that he's mocking me.
Now, sitting alone on the bench under the tree behind the schoolyard, I start pitying myself. There's no need for me to love someone again. Oh, yes, I had loved someone other than my family. I don't want to mention her name again. She came into my life, ruining it and left after I told her I was in love with her. No luck for me in love, I've known it all along. Then why do I bother falling in love again?
One said that love comes without control. You can't control it or deny it. Maybe ... maybe that's right. Actually that can describe what I'm feeling right now. I can't control my feeling for that adorable brunette though I know that he'll never accept me.
"Ken ..." I whisper his name quietly.
"What is it, Fujimiya-san?"
I snap my head up hearing the unexpected response from him. How long he'd been here?
"How long have you been here?"
"Not too long but long enough to know that you're daydreaming." He sits beside me. I can't see Kudou around. Where is he?
"Who are you looking for?"
"...Kudou."
"Oh, he's not here. Too busy flirting with the teachers maybe."
"Eh, what did you say, Hidaka-san?"
"Nothing. Why are you calling me Hidaka-san again?! You called me Ken before."
"Sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about. Man, why do you have to be sorry for? Anyway, since you're calling me by my surname, let me call you by your surname too. Is that okay with you, Ran?"
Hearing him calling my name instead of 'Fujimiya-san' makes me feel somewhat ... happy. It can be caused by the closeness in his voice but whatever it is, I still feel happy.
"Anou ... Ran, how's Aya? I heard she has a headache and can't come today."
So, he talks to me to get information about Aya. Every thing's for Aya. There's nothing about me that he concerns for, nothing. I can't blame him but I can help myself but to glare at him and answer with an icy tone.
"She'll be fine." I get up and start to live when I feel a grip on my wrist. Ken's.
"Ran, do you hate me? Why do you always seem to be mad at me?"
I yank my hand out of his grip and walk away without saying anything. Probably that's the best. For me, him, and Aya. But I still feel uneasy. Who's that Kudou actually? How can he be that close to Ken?
*****
I stare at his back as he walks away, leaving me alone. Why does he have to be so cold to me? I can't remember if I've done something that pissed him off. He has no right to be that unpleasant at me.
"Kenken, what are you doing here?"
"I think that question supposedly goes back to you. What are you doing here, Yotan?"
"It's not polite to ask question to someone when you haven't answered his."
"Fine. I was just wondering if Ran was feeling unwell, so I approached him. We ... talked for a while, then when I changed the topic to his sister, he left me here."
"I don't think speaking about his sister is a good idea."
"And why is that?"
He stares at me, making me feel very uneasy. "What?!"
He sighs. "You'd better not to talk about her in front of him, not when he knows that you like her."
"He ... knows? What do you mean that he knows?"
"From what I see, Fujimiya is not stupid. He'll know that of course. And since you know that he likes you, it wouldn't be good to talk about her."
"Are you still thinking that Fujimiya Ran has a thing for me? Yotan, that's ridiculous! I don't want to talk about this anymore."
I start to walk away when he says, "You'll see."
I grunt and leave him.
*****
I reach home just in time to make dinner for Aya. I see another pair of shoes that I don't know but I think that's only Aya's friend. I don't notice that they're boys' shoes. "Tadaima."
"Okaeri nasai, nii-chan. I'm in the kitchen." She replies.
"In the kitchen? But you're not feeling ... well ... yet ..." I stop when I see her in the kitchen.
It wouldn't be shocking if I only saw her alone but I shock me when I see a boy's cooking and Aya sits at the table, grinning widely at me. That boy turns around and gives me a sheepish smile.
"Good evening, Fujimiya-sensei."
That boy is one of the members of the soccer team. Ken's soccer team. "Who are you?"
"I am Suzuki Touma. Nice to meet you."
"Nice ... to meet you too."
With that, I pull Aya out of the room. "What's this?"
"I'm introducing my koibito to you, onii-chan."
"Koi ... bito?" Aya's koibito?!
"Yes. He's the reason why I join the soccer team. We're in the same class last year and I like him."
"Do ... do Ken know about this?" that's a really stupid question but I can't help myself but to ask.
"Of course not. I don't want anyone else to know before you, nii- chan. You're the first person I tell about this."
"Aya ... Aya, do you know that ... Ken likes you?"
"Ken-kun ... what?"
"He likes you, Aya."
"... Is that the reason why you never told him about your feeling?"
"...One of them."
"But ... I think of him only as a brother, nothing else."
"Aya, ... it's okay. You can be with whoever you want to be with. I'll support you. But what about Ken? Do you want to tell him this?"
"You know ... I can't. I don't want to see his sad face. Anyway, he never told me about it. I can't possibly tell him just like that."
"So ... you'll let the others tell him?"
"I want you to tell him."
"What?! Aya, I can't! ... I can't."
"Why?"
"I don't want to see him ... sad ..."
Aya smiles at me bitterly. "He'll know sooner or later, nii-chan."
I frown a bit. Taking my car keys, I slam the door behind me.
I don't know what I'm thinking as I drive my car to the bar's parking spot. Maybe I'm desperate. I've never felt like this before. The image of Ken starts floating in my mind and his voice echoes in my ears.
"Anou ... Ran, how's Aya? I heard she has a headache and can't come today."
Aya, Aya, that's all he thinks about. He never thinks about me and never will. I think I have accepted this fact long ago, so why I am still feeling this?!
Then ... Aya's koibito. How will Ken take this? With anger? Defeat? Rage? Either way, he'll still be sad. But there's that Kudou. He'll help him. Why him and not me? It's simple. Cause I'm too coward to do it. The fear of being rejected is too great.
I enter the bar and sit in front of the bartender, ordering some bottles of beer. I want to be completely spent tonight without anymore thinking about Ken or Aya or her boyfriend. The bartender looks at me unsurely but gives me my orders right away. After the third bottle, I swipe my eyes to the other side of the bar and see someone who's extremely familiar to me. He's laughing with some ... women, arms winding their shoulders. There, in all his glory, is Kudou Youji.
******* TBC *******
A/N : Saa! This is the third chapter. I'm so happy for the reviews. They're what keep me doing this. You think Ran is not OOC? I personally think that way. But I think he'll be like that when he's jealous. Anyway, feel free to review. And 'something' is going to happen in the next chapter. Please keep reading. Thank's!