() the change of POV
Special
By Misaki Sakura
Chapter 4 : Feelings
I'm standing in front of Ken's apartment, gesturing to knock on the door instead of ringing the ball. I'm too mad (plus a bit drunk) to even recall that there's a bell. When I saw that Kudou, I couldn't hold my rage, so I walked there and grabbed his collar before punching him.
He's too surprised by my attack to respond. I yelled at him even though I can't remember what I said. After a while, he punched back at me. Soon, we were engaged in a fistfight until the bouncers separated us. I didn't want to go home. Instead, I felt the urge to see Ken as soon as possible. What for, I'm not sure.
I hear the door's being opened and Ken's head plopped behind it.
"Ran?" he opens the door wide now. "What are you doing here this late? Come in."
I step in his apartment. It's not clean if you don't want to say this as havoc. He quickly grabs the clothes that are scattered all over the floor.
"Sorry, this place's not ... yeah well, you know ..." he throws them into the bathroom and sits across me.
"So what brings you here?"
"Can't I come here?"
"No, it's not that. Don't get it all wrong. I mean, you never came here before. What makes you ..."
"Do you know that your ... Kudou is having an affair behind you?"
"Affair? What do you mean by that?"
"I saw him at the bar with some ... women ... and ..."
"Oh. So he did." His face falls.
I wait for him to say something but he doesn't seem want to open his mouth. We just sit there in silence. No one says anything or moves. I watch him very closely, try to say something to calm him down but no words come out.
"Ran, why did you tell me about this?"
"I ..." what do I have to say? That I don't want to see him being hurt more than this? What would he do if I said that? Would he ...
"Ran, why?" he repeats his question. Yet, I still don't know what to say.
"Ran?"
"Cause ... I don't want to see you ... hurt."
He stares at me wide eyed. I can't believe those words slip from my mouth too easily. He blushes and looks away. Still, he looks so cute.
"Why ... why do you think that it'll hurt me?"
"... you're on this relationship with ... that Kudou ..."
"Relationship? What do you mean? Do you think that I ... with Youji ...? That's ... not true!"
"It's okay, Ken. You don't have to hide it."
"No. Really, Ran. Me and Youji ... that's ridiculous. Why would I want to be with him?! I ... "
"Oh, ... sorry then." I feel relieved when I heard that. He's not Kudou's boyfriend. That's ... good. But Aya ... How will I tell him about Aya?
"Anou, Ran ... does Aya think that I ..."
"No." I reply harshly.
I don't like he speaks about Aya in front of me. Then my eyes start to blur. I grab the hand of the couch to keep me stable.
"Are you okay, Ran?" he holds me. "You're drunk. I'll call Aya to ..."
"Aya, Aya, that's all you've been thinking about." My voice comes out too harsh, even for me. He's stunned when my hand catches his wrist. "You never think that maybe someone's in love with you too, huh?"
"Ra ..."
I silence him with my lips. He gasps and uses all his strength to push me away but there's no way in hell I'm going to let him do that. I pounce him unto the couch and tear his clothes off.
I sit at the end of the couch, choking back sobs. Silently I peek a glance at Ran. He's putting his clothes on while I shiver, noticing my own on the floor. Needless to say, he ... he ... I never expected that he would do something like ... this! I never thought that Youji's right! But I don't know what kind of feeling that he has for me actually.
He stares at me, realizing that I'm looking at him. I bite my lower lip until I feel that it's bleeding.
"Ken, I ..."
"Get ... out ..." I manage to croak those words out. He looks at me. His eyes are full with ... hurt, guilt...
"I'm sorry..." he whispers and leaves me alone in my apartment. I burst out in tears in no time.
"Get ... out ..."
One phrase, one short phrase but they tear my heart greatly. I know I deserve that. What evil made me did what I did last night to him? I never lost control before. Why did I do that?
I stand in front of his apartment, wondering if this is the right thing to do. Leaving him alone is not a good idea. He might ... I don't want to think about it. He's not going to ... commit suicide, is he? He's tough. He'll ... What am I doing? Trying to ease my guilt? When I'm supposed to ease his despair that I caused?!
"What are you doing here, Fujimiya?" Youji's not-to-friendly voice can be heard behind me.
"Nothing."
I leave him. He'll calm Ken down. The thing that I'm responsible for ... but I don't think that Ken would want to see me.
I reach home at 7 a.m. Aya's waiting for me. "What were you doing?! I called your phone but you left it here. I couldn't contact you all night!"
"I'm sorry, Aya. I'm too tired. Can we talk tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?! Nii-chan, it's 7 a.m. already!!"
"Later. Please, Aya. I don't want to discuss it."
I let the strain in my voice heard. Aya knows very well that it'll be better not to speak to me when I'm in a tired condition or bad mood.
"Okay, nii-chan. We'll talk later." She waits for me until I'm finished taking of my shoes then she gives me a cup of tea. I always drink tea every morning but I'm not in the mood today. I try to turn down her offer but she pouts. I can't bear seeing her pouting so I take the cup into my room after promising that I'll drink it later.
I realize that if I'm left alone, I'm going to think about him over and over again but I can't help it. What is he doing? Why did I do that? Why?! How will I face him?!
I have been curling up on my bed for almost two hours. When Youji saw me on the floor earlier and all the scattered remaining of my clothes, he immediately knew what'd happened. Gritting his teeth, he helped me to go into my room and make me a cup of hot chocolate to calm me down. I turned down his offer to accompany me though. I want to be alone.
"I can't believe you ... did that ..." I say to no one in particular but actually aimed for ... Ran.
It's not like him. That person who ... it was not the same Ran I know ... or that I think I know. I touch my lips briefly. The way his lips lingered upon mine ... what am I thinking?! I'm not supposed to think about it!! It's not like that I like him!! I like Aya!! What happened?! What's happening to me?!
I decide that being here alone in my room, grieving over what happened won't do any good to me, so I fetch up my clothes and get prepared to go to work. Youji is lounging in his seat when I barge into the room. He looks at me, at my bag, before finally his eyes return to look at me.
"Youji, are you coming?"
"What are you doing, Ken? Do you want to go to Koua?"
"Yes. Are you coming?" I repeat my question. He shrugs and goes into his room for changing.
I stare at the door with the Kendo Club's name on it, our dojo. It's 9 a.m. and I am already in my practice outfit. I need something that can stop me from thinking too much ... about anything. Aya is so persistent in forcing me to tell her. How can I tell her?! Sighing, I open the door and get ready for practicing.
After the fourth hours I'm here, I'm exhausted. My mind starts to wander. What's he doing now? How's he feeling? Will he ever talk to me again? I know the answer is no but still ... I don't think I can endure it.
"So you're here, Fujimiya-san."
I turn around to see Kudou leaning against the door. He's the last person I want to see. I growl. "What do you want?!"
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Why did you do what you did to Ken? Didn't I tell you that he's off- limits?!"
"I believe you did." I continue my practice session without even looking at him.
"So? What made you ..."
"You want me to tell you?! Fine!" I throw my wooden katana down forcefully. "I'll tell you why!"
He's still standing still in his position, not even blinking. Lips smirk in amusement for being able to provoke me. I hate it.
"Because what he always thinks about is Aya!! Because he never thinks about me!! Because I love him!!"
Then I hear something suspiciously sounds like a gasp behind Youji. Ken.
TBC
A/N : What do you think? Actually, I don't think that Ran'll do
something like that but ... I can't describe the scene but you know
what I mean. Anyway, please tell me it's good or bad. I'll be waiting.
(
Special
By Misaki Sakura
Chapter 4 : Feelings
I'm standing in front of Ken's apartment, gesturing to knock on the door instead of ringing the ball. I'm too mad (plus a bit drunk) to even recall that there's a bell. When I saw that Kudou, I couldn't hold my rage, so I walked there and grabbed his collar before punching him.
He's too surprised by my attack to respond. I yelled at him even though I can't remember what I said. After a while, he punched back at me. Soon, we were engaged in a fistfight until the bouncers separated us. I didn't want to go home. Instead, I felt the urge to see Ken as soon as possible. What for, I'm not sure.
I hear the door's being opened and Ken's head plopped behind it.
"Ran?" he opens the door wide now. "What are you doing here this late? Come in."
I step in his apartment. It's not clean if you don't want to say this as havoc. He quickly grabs the clothes that are scattered all over the floor.
"Sorry, this place's not ... yeah well, you know ..." he throws them into the bathroom and sits across me.
"So what brings you here?"
"Can't I come here?"
"No, it's not that. Don't get it all wrong. I mean, you never came here before. What makes you ..."
"Do you know that your ... Kudou is having an affair behind you?"
"Affair? What do you mean by that?"
"I saw him at the bar with some ... women ... and ..."
"Oh. So he did." His face falls.
I wait for him to say something but he doesn't seem want to open his mouth. We just sit there in silence. No one says anything or moves. I watch him very closely, try to say something to calm him down but no words come out.
"Ran, why did you tell me about this?"
"I ..." what do I have to say? That I don't want to see him being hurt more than this? What would he do if I said that? Would he ...
"Ran, why?" he repeats his question. Yet, I still don't know what to say.
"Ran?"
"Cause ... I don't want to see you ... hurt."
He stares at me wide eyed. I can't believe those words slip from my mouth too easily. He blushes and looks away. Still, he looks so cute.
"Why ... why do you think that it'll hurt me?"
"... you're on this relationship with ... that Kudou ..."
"Relationship? What do you mean? Do you think that I ... with Youji ...? That's ... not true!"
"It's okay, Ken. You don't have to hide it."
"No. Really, Ran. Me and Youji ... that's ridiculous. Why would I want to be with him?! I ... "
"Oh, ... sorry then." I feel relieved when I heard that. He's not Kudou's boyfriend. That's ... good. But Aya ... How will I tell him about Aya?
"Anou, Ran ... does Aya think that I ..."
"No." I reply harshly.
I don't like he speaks about Aya in front of me. Then my eyes start to blur. I grab the hand of the couch to keep me stable.
"Are you okay, Ran?" he holds me. "You're drunk. I'll call Aya to ..."
"Aya, Aya, that's all you've been thinking about." My voice comes out too harsh, even for me. He's stunned when my hand catches his wrist. "You never think that maybe someone's in love with you too, huh?"
"Ra ..."
I silence him with my lips. He gasps and uses all his strength to push me away but there's no way in hell I'm going to let him do that. I pounce him unto the couch and tear his clothes off.
I sit at the end of the couch, choking back sobs. Silently I peek a glance at Ran. He's putting his clothes on while I shiver, noticing my own on the floor. Needless to say, he ... he ... I never expected that he would do something like ... this! I never thought that Youji's right! But I don't know what kind of feeling that he has for me actually.
He stares at me, realizing that I'm looking at him. I bite my lower lip until I feel that it's bleeding.
"Ken, I ..."
"Get ... out ..." I manage to croak those words out. He looks at me. His eyes are full with ... hurt, guilt...
"I'm sorry..." he whispers and leaves me alone in my apartment. I burst out in tears in no time.
"Get ... out ..."
One phrase, one short phrase but they tear my heart greatly. I know I deserve that. What evil made me did what I did last night to him? I never lost control before. Why did I do that?
I stand in front of his apartment, wondering if this is the right thing to do. Leaving him alone is not a good idea. He might ... I don't want to think about it. He's not going to ... commit suicide, is he? He's tough. He'll ... What am I doing? Trying to ease my guilt? When I'm supposed to ease his despair that I caused?!
"What are you doing here, Fujimiya?" Youji's not-to-friendly voice can be heard behind me.
"Nothing."
I leave him. He'll calm Ken down. The thing that I'm responsible for ... but I don't think that Ken would want to see me.
I reach home at 7 a.m. Aya's waiting for me. "What were you doing?! I called your phone but you left it here. I couldn't contact you all night!"
"I'm sorry, Aya. I'm too tired. Can we talk tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?! Nii-chan, it's 7 a.m. already!!"
"Later. Please, Aya. I don't want to discuss it."
I let the strain in my voice heard. Aya knows very well that it'll be better not to speak to me when I'm in a tired condition or bad mood.
"Okay, nii-chan. We'll talk later." She waits for me until I'm finished taking of my shoes then she gives me a cup of tea. I always drink tea every morning but I'm not in the mood today. I try to turn down her offer but she pouts. I can't bear seeing her pouting so I take the cup into my room after promising that I'll drink it later.
I realize that if I'm left alone, I'm going to think about him over and over again but I can't help it. What is he doing? Why did I do that? Why?! How will I face him?!
I have been curling up on my bed for almost two hours. When Youji saw me on the floor earlier and all the scattered remaining of my clothes, he immediately knew what'd happened. Gritting his teeth, he helped me to go into my room and make me a cup of hot chocolate to calm me down. I turned down his offer to accompany me though. I want to be alone.
"I can't believe you ... did that ..." I say to no one in particular but actually aimed for ... Ran.
It's not like him. That person who ... it was not the same Ran I know ... or that I think I know. I touch my lips briefly. The way his lips lingered upon mine ... what am I thinking?! I'm not supposed to think about it!! It's not like that I like him!! I like Aya!! What happened?! What's happening to me?!
I decide that being here alone in my room, grieving over what happened won't do any good to me, so I fetch up my clothes and get prepared to go to work. Youji is lounging in his seat when I barge into the room. He looks at me, at my bag, before finally his eyes return to look at me.
"Youji, are you coming?"
"What are you doing, Ken? Do you want to go to Koua?"
"Yes. Are you coming?" I repeat my question. He shrugs and goes into his room for changing.
I stare at the door with the Kendo Club's name on it, our dojo. It's 9 a.m. and I am already in my practice outfit. I need something that can stop me from thinking too much ... about anything. Aya is so persistent in forcing me to tell her. How can I tell her?! Sighing, I open the door and get ready for practicing.
After the fourth hours I'm here, I'm exhausted. My mind starts to wander. What's he doing now? How's he feeling? Will he ever talk to me again? I know the answer is no but still ... I don't think I can endure it.
"So you're here, Fujimiya-san."
I turn around to see Kudou leaning against the door. He's the last person I want to see. I growl. "What do you want?!"
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Why did you do what you did to Ken? Didn't I tell you that he's off- limits?!"
"I believe you did." I continue my practice session without even looking at him.
"So? What made you ..."
"You want me to tell you?! Fine!" I throw my wooden katana down forcefully. "I'll tell you why!"
He's still standing still in his position, not even blinking. Lips smirk in amusement for being able to provoke me. I hate it.
"Because what he always thinks about is Aya!! Because he never thinks about me!! Because I love him!!"
Then I hear something suspiciously sounds like a gasp behind Youji. Ken.
TBC
A/N : What do you think? Actually, I don't think that Ran'll do
something like that but ... I can't describe the scene but you know
what I mean. Anyway, please tell me it's good or bad. I'll be waiting.
(