() the change of POV
Special
By Misaki Sakura
Chapter 6 : Realization
"Ken-kun!"
"Ken-san!"
I open my mouth slightly but nothing comes out. Aya and Suzuki don't say anything too. I bend to collect the scattered glasses and throw them to the recycle bin. Still, there's no voice heard.
"Sorry." I whisper to her and run upstairs to get my things. Ran is surprised when I suddenly barge into his room which is still as dark as before.
"Ken, what ha ..."
He stops, seeing my tears run down my cheeks. I rub at them roughly before yanking my jacket on. He doesn't say anything even as I start walking to the door. Then I feel my body is being turned around to face him. Seeing his eyes makes me can't hold my tears any longer. They once again make their way down my cheeks. He raises his hand to wipe them slowly.
I can't help myself but to sob on his shoulder while he strokes my hair gently. His other hand has left my wrist and instead is wound around my waist. I don't have any intention to pull away from him or push him. No. I want him with me. I ...
"You know it, don't you, Ran? You know it, don't you?! About Aya and Su ... zuki ..."
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?! You know my feelings!! You know it!!"
"Yes, I know."
"Then why didn't you tell me?! Why did you make me hoping for her?! Why?!" I sink down to the floor. My arms slumps beside me.
He sits in front of me, hugs me while whispering comforting words to my ears at the same time. Those words keep spinning inside my head like mantra. Why can't she love me? Why didn't she tell me before? Why didn't Ran tell me before? Why did he keep this a secret from me? To mock me? To watch me fly to the cloud nine and then slammed to the deepest part of the earth? Why did he say that he love me? Why does it have to be like this? Why?!
He's asleep. After he cried all over me and murmured incoherently to himself, he's finally asleep. I lift him up and lay him on my bed. I know that I'm sick and I need rest but he needs rest more than I do. Aya ... and I have given him too much trouble.
"Ken, I'm sorry."
I kiss him lightly before I walk out of my room. Aya's standing in front of me.
"Where's Ken-kun?"
"Sleeping."
"I'm sorry, nii-chan."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's okay, Aya. He'll overcome this. He's strong. Just give him time to think and settle himself."
"Okay, nii-chan."
She runs down the stairs and sends Suzuki home. I take a piece of blanket from Aya's closet and walk back to my room. He's still sleeping. The tears have dried and make trails on his smooth cheeks. I kiss his eyelid gently.
"Oyasumi, Ken."
I wake up at the sound of the birds chirping outside. Too lazy to open my eyes, I bury my face deep into the pillow. Sweet scent. Warm and sweet scent. The bed and the pillow are softer than mine. They're ...not ... mine. I jerk myself up as the realization hits me and look around the room I've slept in. This is ... this is Ran's room!!
"You're awake, Ken?" his voice cut through the silence in the room.
"Ra ... Ran ..., I ..."
I look at him. He's sitting on the sofa in his room. A blanket is carefully folded at the end of it. He was sleeping ... on the couch?! He let me slept in his bed ... while he slept at the couch. I slept in his bed. Somehow this thought makes a blush across my cheeks.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"That question is supposed to go to you! Ran, you're sick! You can't sleep there! You should've waked me up!"
He gets up and walks towards me. Hesitating a bit, he then sits next to me on his bed. Not too close but close enough to make me blush again. I really have to stop blushing near him.
"But I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to do that. Ken, ... I'm sorry. You're right. I should've told you about Aya from the beginning ... even though I myself has just found it out ... that night ... before I came to your apartment ..."
"Oh ..."
"And that makes me feel guiltier. I'm sorry, Ken. About Aya and ..."
"It's okay. I should've given up about Aya but I didn't. That's such a fool of me. I should've known better that no one would ever want me. No one would." I feel like sobbing again. He reaches for me and takes me into his embrace.
"I want you."
"Eh?" I look up to find his eyes peering down at me intensely. His amethyst eyes glimmer in the ray of sun light that shines into the room. He looks really solemn.
"I want you. Don't say that no one wants you 'cause I know I do. You're special, Ken."
"I am not ... I am not ... I can do nothing, Ran."
"Yes, you can. You always make people laugh no matter how depressed you are. You are good with kids. And ... you bring the light back to my life."
"Ran?"
He doesn't say anything. So do I. Tears threaten to spill again but I let them. I let them soak Ran's shirt for the second time in only several hours.
"I ... I've always wanted to tell you ... about my feelings, but ... I didn't expect it to be like that. I mean ... I didn't mean too. I'm sorry, Ken."
I snuggle closer to him. What am I doing? Am I no afraid that he'll ...? Somehow I know that he won't.
A month has passed since that day in my room. He is more open to me now. We usually spend our lunch break chatting under the tree at the school yard. I don't know if he has overcome his sadness but at least he is willing to talk to me ... a little about Aya. Like today. As usual, I wait for him, sitting on the bench reading the book I just borrowed from the library.
"Ran, what is that?"
He sits beside me, stuffing himself with the sandwich he bought at the cafeteria earlier. "I borrowed it from the library." I say, handing it to him.
"It's ... a poem book," he says after he reads the first page.
"I don't know you like poem." He gives it to me and continues eating his sandwich.
"Are you interested too?"
"Nah. I'm not into poem or literature. Say, Ran ... aren't you going to eat anything? Aren't you hungry or something?"
"I ate noodles before I came." My eyes do not leave my book.
"That's for breakfast, right?! No wonder you're so thin."
"Hn."
"What do you want to eat? I'll buy it for you."
"It's okay, Ken. I'm not hungry." I close the book and smile at him. He blushes. I know he tries to hide it but it's no use. I've seen it. He's cute when he blushes like that.
"Ne, Ran," his head's bent down, "I've given up ... about Aya. I know that she doesn't like me. Ran ... I try very hard to talk to her but I can't. I don't know why but I can't say anything in front of her. I don't want it to be like this."
"I know. It's not your fault. You're hurt. Don't push yourself. Believe me, there's going to be a day when you can look at them in the eyes and smile. You just have to wait. First you must overcome your sadness, then you can face them."
"Do you really think so? I mean ... you're not angry because I ... to your sister ..."
"No, I'm not. It's ... our fault that you feel like this. If we had told you from the beginning ..."
He smiles at me. From that smile, I know that he's not angry with me. I'm glad. Still, I don't have enough courage to bring up the subject about that Kudou. I'm desperate to know what he is to Ken. Are they in any term of relationship right now? I don't think so cause Ken's still settling his feelings for Aya. So ...
"You're here, Kenken."
Kudou Youji. He grabs Ken's wrist and yanks him up. "Itai! Youji, what are you doing?!"
"I need to talk to you." He peeks a glance at me then glares back at Ken. "Now!!"
"I'm ... Fine!! I'm sorry, Ran. We'll talk tomorrow, ne." he waves at me while Youji drags him to the school entrance. Youji seems so mad. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that Ken can talk to me now. Jealous?
"Okay, what is it?"
Youji grabs my wrist tighter, making me wince. It hurts! "Ken, did you call him?"
"No. He called me."
"Why did you tell him that I'm here?"
"Don't you think that even if I lie, he will find it out sooner or later and he will be very mad at me? I don't want to be dragged into your problem, Youji. Besides, he has the right to know." I try to calm him down. Okay, I made a mistake but ... can't he be a little gentler? I think my wrist is going to crack. Finally he releases me and let go a sigh of defeat.
"Shit!! Ken, I know that I'm the one who will be blamed! Ken, he is going to come!! Omi is going to come here!!"
"What?!"
Alas, my problems are getting bigger and bigger. What have I done to deserve this?! Oh, kami, please, please stop tormenting me. Youji is enough. Why does he have to come too?! What must I do now?!
TBC
A/N : It's Omi's turn!! I've decided that he's gonna be Youji's
boyfriend from the beginning and now I'm glad that he's finally going
to appear in this story. This story is developing ... somehow. What do
you think? Ran x Ken? Ken x Aya? Youji x Ken? Youji x Omi? Or the
worst Youji x Ran? He he I have my own best pairings, still I want to
know what you guys think. R&R please!
Special
By Misaki Sakura
Chapter 6 : Realization
"Ken-kun!"
"Ken-san!"
I open my mouth slightly but nothing comes out. Aya and Suzuki don't say anything too. I bend to collect the scattered glasses and throw them to the recycle bin. Still, there's no voice heard.
"Sorry." I whisper to her and run upstairs to get my things. Ran is surprised when I suddenly barge into his room which is still as dark as before.
"Ken, what ha ..."
He stops, seeing my tears run down my cheeks. I rub at them roughly before yanking my jacket on. He doesn't say anything even as I start walking to the door. Then I feel my body is being turned around to face him. Seeing his eyes makes me can't hold my tears any longer. They once again make their way down my cheeks. He raises his hand to wipe them slowly.
I can't help myself but to sob on his shoulder while he strokes my hair gently. His other hand has left my wrist and instead is wound around my waist. I don't have any intention to pull away from him or push him. No. I want him with me. I ...
"You know it, don't you, Ran? You know it, don't you?! About Aya and Su ... zuki ..."
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?! You know my feelings!! You know it!!"
"Yes, I know."
"Then why didn't you tell me?! Why did you make me hoping for her?! Why?!" I sink down to the floor. My arms slumps beside me.
He sits in front of me, hugs me while whispering comforting words to my ears at the same time. Those words keep spinning inside my head like mantra. Why can't she love me? Why didn't she tell me before? Why didn't Ran tell me before? Why did he keep this a secret from me? To mock me? To watch me fly to the cloud nine and then slammed to the deepest part of the earth? Why did he say that he love me? Why does it have to be like this? Why?!
He's asleep. After he cried all over me and murmured incoherently to himself, he's finally asleep. I lift him up and lay him on my bed. I know that I'm sick and I need rest but he needs rest more than I do. Aya ... and I have given him too much trouble.
"Ken, I'm sorry."
I kiss him lightly before I walk out of my room. Aya's standing in front of me.
"Where's Ken-kun?"
"Sleeping."
"I'm sorry, nii-chan."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's okay, Aya. He'll overcome this. He's strong. Just give him time to think and settle himself."
"Okay, nii-chan."
She runs down the stairs and sends Suzuki home. I take a piece of blanket from Aya's closet and walk back to my room. He's still sleeping. The tears have dried and make trails on his smooth cheeks. I kiss his eyelid gently.
"Oyasumi, Ken."
I wake up at the sound of the birds chirping outside. Too lazy to open my eyes, I bury my face deep into the pillow. Sweet scent. Warm and sweet scent. The bed and the pillow are softer than mine. They're ...not ... mine. I jerk myself up as the realization hits me and look around the room I've slept in. This is ... this is Ran's room!!
"You're awake, Ken?" his voice cut through the silence in the room.
"Ra ... Ran ..., I ..."
I look at him. He's sitting on the sofa in his room. A blanket is carefully folded at the end of it. He was sleeping ... on the couch?! He let me slept in his bed ... while he slept at the couch. I slept in his bed. Somehow this thought makes a blush across my cheeks.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"That question is supposed to go to you! Ran, you're sick! You can't sleep there! You should've waked me up!"
He gets up and walks towards me. Hesitating a bit, he then sits next to me on his bed. Not too close but close enough to make me blush again. I really have to stop blushing near him.
"But I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to do that. Ken, ... I'm sorry. You're right. I should've told you about Aya from the beginning ... even though I myself has just found it out ... that night ... before I came to your apartment ..."
"Oh ..."
"And that makes me feel guiltier. I'm sorry, Ken. About Aya and ..."
"It's okay. I should've given up about Aya but I didn't. That's such a fool of me. I should've known better that no one would ever want me. No one would." I feel like sobbing again. He reaches for me and takes me into his embrace.
"I want you."
"Eh?" I look up to find his eyes peering down at me intensely. His amethyst eyes glimmer in the ray of sun light that shines into the room. He looks really solemn.
"I want you. Don't say that no one wants you 'cause I know I do. You're special, Ken."
"I am not ... I am not ... I can do nothing, Ran."
"Yes, you can. You always make people laugh no matter how depressed you are. You are good with kids. And ... you bring the light back to my life."
"Ran?"
He doesn't say anything. So do I. Tears threaten to spill again but I let them. I let them soak Ran's shirt for the second time in only several hours.
"I ... I've always wanted to tell you ... about my feelings, but ... I didn't expect it to be like that. I mean ... I didn't mean too. I'm sorry, Ken."
I snuggle closer to him. What am I doing? Am I no afraid that he'll ...? Somehow I know that he won't.
A month has passed since that day in my room. He is more open to me now. We usually spend our lunch break chatting under the tree at the school yard. I don't know if he has overcome his sadness but at least he is willing to talk to me ... a little about Aya. Like today. As usual, I wait for him, sitting on the bench reading the book I just borrowed from the library.
"Ran, what is that?"
He sits beside me, stuffing himself with the sandwich he bought at the cafeteria earlier. "I borrowed it from the library." I say, handing it to him.
"It's ... a poem book," he says after he reads the first page.
"I don't know you like poem." He gives it to me and continues eating his sandwich.
"Are you interested too?"
"Nah. I'm not into poem or literature. Say, Ran ... aren't you going to eat anything? Aren't you hungry or something?"
"I ate noodles before I came." My eyes do not leave my book.
"That's for breakfast, right?! No wonder you're so thin."
"Hn."
"What do you want to eat? I'll buy it for you."
"It's okay, Ken. I'm not hungry." I close the book and smile at him. He blushes. I know he tries to hide it but it's no use. I've seen it. He's cute when he blushes like that.
"Ne, Ran," his head's bent down, "I've given up ... about Aya. I know that she doesn't like me. Ran ... I try very hard to talk to her but I can't. I don't know why but I can't say anything in front of her. I don't want it to be like this."
"I know. It's not your fault. You're hurt. Don't push yourself. Believe me, there's going to be a day when you can look at them in the eyes and smile. You just have to wait. First you must overcome your sadness, then you can face them."
"Do you really think so? I mean ... you're not angry because I ... to your sister ..."
"No, I'm not. It's ... our fault that you feel like this. If we had told you from the beginning ..."
He smiles at me. From that smile, I know that he's not angry with me. I'm glad. Still, I don't have enough courage to bring up the subject about that Kudou. I'm desperate to know what he is to Ken. Are they in any term of relationship right now? I don't think so cause Ken's still settling his feelings for Aya. So ...
"You're here, Kenken."
Kudou Youji. He grabs Ken's wrist and yanks him up. "Itai! Youji, what are you doing?!"
"I need to talk to you." He peeks a glance at me then glares back at Ken. "Now!!"
"I'm ... Fine!! I'm sorry, Ran. We'll talk tomorrow, ne." he waves at me while Youji drags him to the school entrance. Youji seems so mad. Maybe he doesn't like the fact that Ken can talk to me now. Jealous?
"Okay, what is it?"
Youji grabs my wrist tighter, making me wince. It hurts! "Ken, did you call him?"
"No. He called me."
"Why did you tell him that I'm here?"
"Don't you think that even if I lie, he will find it out sooner or later and he will be very mad at me? I don't want to be dragged into your problem, Youji. Besides, he has the right to know." I try to calm him down. Okay, I made a mistake but ... can't he be a little gentler? I think my wrist is going to crack. Finally he releases me and let go a sigh of defeat.
"Shit!! Ken, I know that I'm the one who will be blamed! Ken, he is going to come!! Omi is going to come here!!"
"What?!"
Alas, my problems are getting bigger and bigger. What have I done to deserve this?! Oh, kami, please, please stop tormenting me. Youji is enough. Why does he have to come too?! What must I do now?!
TBC
A/N : It's Omi's turn!! I've decided that he's gonna be Youji's
boyfriend from the beginning and now I'm glad that he's finally going
to appear in this story. This story is developing ... somehow. What do
you think? Ran x Ken? Ken x Aya? Youji x Ken? Youji x Omi? Or the
worst Youji x Ran? He he I have my own best pairings, still I want to
know what you guys think. R&R please!