Chapter Five: The beginning all over again
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...
Lily was in a daze. She was listening to a minister recite a verse from the bible. Tears were streaming down the peoples faces around her but she wasn't crying. She was beyond tears and had been for days. 23 days ago she had followed a scream and found her sister dead. That scream was implanted in her heart. It would never go away. For the first ten days or so Lily had done nothing but cry. She couldn't stop thinking about what a wonderful day it had been before that. They were laughing. Now her face was tear scarred as her spirit. She would be going to Hogwarts in a month. At least there no one would know. Lily hated pity and she knew that's all she would be getting for the next month. In fact pity poured from the peoples eyes and very movements all around her. The ceremony went on and people cried more. Her mother tried to say a something about Rose for the group but didn't manage to get three words before she broke down and began sobbing in her husbands arms. The ceremony ended Lily's family stayed around for an hour or so then went home. Lily went strait to her room and laid in bed for a long time before drifting in to a reckless sleep.
It was 1:00 in the morning when she awoke screaming. Her mother ran to her room and sat on her bed hugging her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Lily sobbed. "I know." Her mother whispered rocking her back and forth. "I know."
"It's my fault I know it is. I just know it's my fault."
"shhh. Don't say that. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident."
"She's gone. She's gone." Lily whispered. "Shhh go back to sleep love."
And soon after Lily and her mother were again left to their torturous dreams.
That August was a month that seemed to drag on forever and a day. Around the end of the month Lily's parents began putting some of Roses things in to boxes to put in the attic. They never got to far before they felt to much sorrow to put up with it. And then they had something else to worry about. Packing Lily's trunk for Hogwarts. She brought all the things they had bought in Diagon Alley and pictures of her family, including one picture of Rose. It was taken half way through the school year when the girls team had won their first kickball game. It was just the three of them in the picture and they were all grinning their heads off. As Lily packed it tears began forming in her eyes. She looked away out the window towards the path in their back woods she hadn't been back there since the day they found Rose and she had no desire to change that. Just then the phone rang and snapped Lily back in to focus. She put the picture of Rose in side a book and tucked it at the bottom of her trunk.
"Lily! Phone's for you hunny."
She got up and went in to her parents room which had a phone in it and said,
"Hello?"
"Lily! Did you get your schedule? I'm in the same homeroom as Josh! Can you believe it!?" "That sounds amazing." Lily answered trying to sound excited for Lisa.
"Did you get your schedule?"
"No not yet. I'm sure I will soon."
"Yeah, I haven't seen you a lot lately... did you hear? There isn't a kickball area in middle school. Just basketball. And we have to change for gym. Can you imagine?"
"Sounds terrible." Lily said desiring more than anything everything was as it was at the end of the school year.
"Well I have to go now Lily, call me when you get your schedule wont you? And we can talk about where we can meet on the first day of school."
"Oh course. I'll talk to you soon then."
"bye Lily"
"bye."
Lily hung up the phone and a tear dropped from her cheek. Reality again hit her. Nothing was the same. She wasn't going to middle school. She wouldn't see any of her friends again until perhaps Christmas break. she would probably never see Josh again and Lisa would get him instead of her. Petunia hated her and Rose was dead. She felt that she would soon start crying again but suddenly she realized that it was pointless. She straitened up and thought to herself. I have another chance. I can be who ever I want to be. I can make completely new friends. No one knows anything about me at this new school so they can never bring it up. It will simply no longer exist. No one knows about kickball, Fieldcrest, Josh, Petunia, the tree house or Rose. I can have a totally knew life. Petunia's wrong. This is the most fantastic thing ever. With this new inspiration in mind Lily walked back to her room and finished packing not thinking about Rose or Petunia at all for the first time since the summer began.
Lily's parents noticed a new confidence in Lily immediately and were happy that she found it. Petunia hadn't come out of her room more then time times since the beginning of break besides to use the bathroom. And they were quite obviously worried about her but they figured that perhaps when Lily was gone and school started again and she was with her friends perhaps slowly it would go back to normal. On September first at 7 AM they brought Lily's trunk outside and Lily hugged and kissed her mom good-bye because she was staying with Petunia while her father brought her the train station. When the two of them were about to exit Petunia walked down the stairs. Lily stared at her. She hadn't seen her in a couple weeks. Her hair was tangled and the skin around her eyes was red and black from lack of sleep and crying. She had an odd assortment of clothes on and she looked very frail and thin from her lack of eating too much. "I thought I'd say good-bye to Lily." She said crisply staring at her sister. She smirked.
Lily smiled relieved she was getting a good-bye. "Bye 'Tunia"
"It's your fault you know." Petunia whispered "What?" Lily asked.
"It's your fault that she's dead. It's all your fault. I just don't want you to think differently. Make sure your freak friends at your school know you're a murderer!" She said ending off yelling.
Tears began forming in Lily's eyes as her breathing quickened but she blinked back the tears and turned beginning to walk to the car. "Bye mommy." she called over her shoulder. She waited in the car and soon her father joined her,
"Are you okay?" He asked her concerned. She smiled a little.
"I'm fine. I can't let what she says get to me." He stared at her for a while then nodded and started the car. She watched the house disappear as they made their way to the train station and she sighed as she thought... It's the beginning. All over again.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...
Lily was in a daze. She was listening to a minister recite a verse from the bible. Tears were streaming down the peoples faces around her but she wasn't crying. She was beyond tears and had been for days. 23 days ago she had followed a scream and found her sister dead. That scream was implanted in her heart. It would never go away. For the first ten days or so Lily had done nothing but cry. She couldn't stop thinking about what a wonderful day it had been before that. They were laughing. Now her face was tear scarred as her spirit. She would be going to Hogwarts in a month. At least there no one would know. Lily hated pity and she knew that's all she would be getting for the next month. In fact pity poured from the peoples eyes and very movements all around her. The ceremony went on and people cried more. Her mother tried to say a something about Rose for the group but didn't manage to get three words before she broke down and began sobbing in her husbands arms. The ceremony ended Lily's family stayed around for an hour or so then went home. Lily went strait to her room and laid in bed for a long time before drifting in to a reckless sleep.
It was 1:00 in the morning when she awoke screaming. Her mother ran to her room and sat on her bed hugging her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Lily sobbed. "I know." Her mother whispered rocking her back and forth. "I know."
"It's my fault I know it is. I just know it's my fault."
"shhh. Don't say that. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was an accident."
"She's gone. She's gone." Lily whispered. "Shhh go back to sleep love."
And soon after Lily and her mother were again left to their torturous dreams.
That August was a month that seemed to drag on forever and a day. Around the end of the month Lily's parents began putting some of Roses things in to boxes to put in the attic. They never got to far before they felt to much sorrow to put up with it. And then they had something else to worry about. Packing Lily's trunk for Hogwarts. She brought all the things they had bought in Diagon Alley and pictures of her family, including one picture of Rose. It was taken half way through the school year when the girls team had won their first kickball game. It was just the three of them in the picture and they were all grinning their heads off. As Lily packed it tears began forming in her eyes. She looked away out the window towards the path in their back woods she hadn't been back there since the day they found Rose and she had no desire to change that. Just then the phone rang and snapped Lily back in to focus. She put the picture of Rose in side a book and tucked it at the bottom of her trunk.
"Lily! Phone's for you hunny."
She got up and went in to her parents room which had a phone in it and said,
"Hello?"
"Lily! Did you get your schedule? I'm in the same homeroom as Josh! Can you believe it!?" "That sounds amazing." Lily answered trying to sound excited for Lisa.
"Did you get your schedule?"
"No not yet. I'm sure I will soon."
"Yeah, I haven't seen you a lot lately... did you hear? There isn't a kickball area in middle school. Just basketball. And we have to change for gym. Can you imagine?"
"Sounds terrible." Lily said desiring more than anything everything was as it was at the end of the school year.
"Well I have to go now Lily, call me when you get your schedule wont you? And we can talk about where we can meet on the first day of school."
"Oh course. I'll talk to you soon then."
"bye Lily"
"bye."
Lily hung up the phone and a tear dropped from her cheek. Reality again hit her. Nothing was the same. She wasn't going to middle school. She wouldn't see any of her friends again until perhaps Christmas break. she would probably never see Josh again and Lisa would get him instead of her. Petunia hated her and Rose was dead. She felt that she would soon start crying again but suddenly she realized that it was pointless. She straitened up and thought to herself. I have another chance. I can be who ever I want to be. I can make completely new friends. No one knows anything about me at this new school so they can never bring it up. It will simply no longer exist. No one knows about kickball, Fieldcrest, Josh, Petunia, the tree house or Rose. I can have a totally knew life. Petunia's wrong. This is the most fantastic thing ever. With this new inspiration in mind Lily walked back to her room and finished packing not thinking about Rose or Petunia at all for the first time since the summer began.
Lily's parents noticed a new confidence in Lily immediately and were happy that she found it. Petunia hadn't come out of her room more then time times since the beginning of break besides to use the bathroom. And they were quite obviously worried about her but they figured that perhaps when Lily was gone and school started again and she was with her friends perhaps slowly it would go back to normal. On September first at 7 AM they brought Lily's trunk outside and Lily hugged and kissed her mom good-bye because she was staying with Petunia while her father brought her the train station. When the two of them were about to exit Petunia walked down the stairs. Lily stared at her. She hadn't seen her in a couple weeks. Her hair was tangled and the skin around her eyes was red and black from lack of sleep and crying. She had an odd assortment of clothes on and she looked very frail and thin from her lack of eating too much. "I thought I'd say good-bye to Lily." She said crisply staring at her sister. She smirked.
Lily smiled relieved she was getting a good-bye. "Bye 'Tunia"
"It's your fault you know." Petunia whispered "What?" Lily asked.
"It's your fault that she's dead. It's all your fault. I just don't want you to think differently. Make sure your freak friends at your school know you're a murderer!" She said ending off yelling.
Tears began forming in Lily's eyes as her breathing quickened but she blinked back the tears and turned beginning to walk to the car. "Bye mommy." she called over her shoulder. She waited in the car and soon her father joined her,
"Are you okay?" He asked her concerned. She smiled a little.
"I'm fine. I can't let what she says get to me." He stared at her for a while then nodded and started the car. She watched the house disappear as they made their way to the train station and she sighed as she thought... It's the beginning. All over again.