(Disclaimer still applies. Short chapter... sorry .)
I cradle Miral softly, gently bouncing her in my arms as her tantrum comes to an end. Her fingers grip around my index finger, and I smile at her soft and innocent embrace. I kiss her fingers lightly, not wanting to disturb her slumber for the fear of another outburst. Walking over to her crib, I turn on the quiet, soothing music of Harry's clarinet. The tune memorized well in my mind after playing it countless times to quiet the little warrior, I slowly make my way across the room to her window, gazing up at the stars. The twinkling stars are already burned into my memory, but resurface past memories of Voyager at warp speeds.
It seems like yesterday we were fighting the Kazon and destroying the Caretaker. It seems like minutes ago I was told that I would never seem home or my family again. Though it didn't really bother me at first, it eventually sunk in that I may never get to make peace with my father and mother again.
It was hard without her. I wanted her to be alive so much, if not for my sake, for at least Tom and Miral's. She would have the strict Klingon wisdom that structured every sentence and made me cringe, but she would know how to raise a child. She couldn't be too bad, I mean, look how I turned out, I thought, with a dry grin. But the subject of the matter still plagued me. If she could hold her grand-daughter like dad could, then maybe she could understand that something "honorable" could come out of me.
Miral writhed in my cradled grasp, and I snapped back to reality. The music came back to my ears and the otherwise silent house seemed to come up around me. I walked slowly back over to the crib where I laid her down, softly as not to wake her of course. She quietly lay there, innocent to the world. I catch myself at moments like this thinking about her future. She has no clue of the world around her. No clue that she could one day be whatever she wished to be. Miral had her whole entire life to live, and slowly I begin to feel old.
Old. Something that came along with motherhood I guess, but I now that think about it I think I caught it from the Delta Quadrant. Out there I was forced to grow up, and take on a leadership position that that Starfleet forced upon me. Though without it, where would I be? Probably dead, on some Maquis ship. Probably in the Brig of Voyager and then prison for my insubordinate actions. Probably alone, without Tom or Miral.
As I turn to the leave the room, I look at the shadow on the floor from the window coaxes my attention to fall back on the stars. I shortly pause, looking at the sky I once called home. But Miral needs this security, and I will deliver. Harry's clarinet song comes to an end, and I turn and leave the dark room, back to my own. Not so alone.