Chapter Eleven: Just Mutterings
All of you I'm sure have at one time or another had to deal with an obsession of some sort. An obsession that made you forget near everything else going on in your life or anyone else's. Years afterwards when you were over whatever it happened to be you'd think, what was the big deal? What caused my obsession? Why the hell did I waste so much time on it? The young lady and stag, named Tear in the tapestry was Lily Evans' obsession for the next two and a half months. From January first to well in to the middle of March she barely existed at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She barely said a word to anyone and when she did it was only to Raven. It wasn't until March 15th that Lily started realizing what was happening. Professor McGonagall called her down to her office one Thursday afternoon.
"Professor McGonagall?" Lily said quietly as she as she walked in to her transfiguration teachers office. Her teacher looked up and recognition stretched across her face. "Ah, miss Evans yes sit down please." She said gesturing towards the chair in front of her desk. Lily complied. "I suppose you are aware of why you are here?" She asked seriously.
Lily looked nervously at her and in a confused but firm manner, "No professor... Am I in trouble?" The woman across from her sighed and removed her spectacles, "I am, to say the very least, very worried with the status of your grades in my classroom."
Lily looked very surprised at what she had said as if it was the last thing she had expected to here and asked quite seriously, "Is there something wrong with them?"
McGonagall, with this remark looked equally as surprised as her student had moments before, "Miss Evans have you not noticed that you've not gotten and grade above a D for the past two weeks?"
Lily shook her head in shock and stuttered out, "A-ah-ah D?" She looked down, her mouth gangling open, "H-how? W-when?" She felt her eyes start to moisten as tears were no doubt began formulating. "How could I not have noticed... Surly it's just Transfiguration." She muttered looking up are her professor.
"My dear... This is why I called you down, your grades are the same in all of your classes. I, and the remainder of your teachers are very worried about you. Is something wrong dear? I mean has something happened to you lately that you are not telling us? We just wish to understand Miss Evans." McGonagall said softly. Lily panicked, she couldn't tell her about the stag because she was sure she wouldn't let her go back but she couldn't tell her nothing so she did the only thing she could think to do, she let her tears come out and began sobbing. "I-I'm s-sorry professor. M-my h-head has been s-somewhere else lately I j-just miss her s-so much." McGonagall came around her desk and put a hand on Lily's shoulder handing her a tissue and asked very gently, who do you miss?" After a few moments Lily looked in to her eyes and whispered, "My sister Rose professor. She died over the summer."
Professor McGonagall, to Lily's relief took that story with out question and gave her the following day off so she could have that day and the weekend to catch up on some of her work. And work she did. She found it an immense relief to be working again and continuously taking her mind off the beautiful tapestry. In fact she even joined a conversation for the first time in months. She was planning on going to the library on Saturday evening and was walking out of her dormitory catching a bit of a conversation close by.
"I don't know, dung bombs aren't very original... I was thinking something new and fun..." She heard a boy she recognized immediately as James Potter say.
"Like what?" Her assumed crush from a few months ago asked.
He smirked quite slyly, "Why not try it muggle style for once? We could always throw pies at them. We've got passage into the kitchen haven't we?"
"Oh not James that could get the elves in trouble couldn't it? For giving you the pies?" Ganelle asked.
"Nah... I doubt it'd even cross their minds to blame elves. They'd be to busy trying to figure out who did it."
"How are we planning on not getting caught?" Remus asked curiously.
"A diversion bro!" Sirius said slapping Remus on the back causing him to cross out half the work he'd been doing when his quill skidded across the paper. "Sorry..." Sirius said seeing the damage he'd created.
"No problem..." Remus sighed and pulled out a fresh sheet and began copying the work over. "What sort of diversion?" Raven asked,
"Peeves probably." James said leaning back with his hands behind his head. "But that still doesn't stop the eye witnesses that you drop the pies on from reporting you."
"Yeah." Sirius said matter of factually. "We thought of that. Just can't figure out what to do about it." "What about a levitation spell? Wingardium Leviosa or something." Lily said quite suddenly walking in to view of the group. And making them all jump again causing Remus' pen to slip causing him to cross out his work yet again. "Oh for heaven's sake." She muttered when she noticed this. She took out her wand pointed it at his paper and said "Clareo" The new line vanished leaving his work as it was before she joined the group.
"Thanks Lily" Remus said. She began to smile but then Ganelle stood, looking at her and saying "She speaks." Sarcastically, "decided to come out of your cave have you?"
"Ganelle stop" Raven said.
"Why? She shouldn't be here. Not after she hasn't talked to us for over two months." "Hey, I'm really sorry about that..." Lily said sincerely,
"Oh, yeah? Prove it." Ganelle said.
"Ganelle, come on she said sorry." James said. "I don't think she would have said it if she didn't mean it."
"Right you are mate." Sirius said agreeing with James. "I think you a little off G'nelly"
But apparently Ganelle didn't think she was off, she stormed off to the dorm and wouldn't talk to Lily when she went to bed that night or the following day. But she was pleased that James, Raven, Sirius, Peter and Remus seemed to have accepted the fact that she had needed some time to herself the past few weeks and now she was sorry and wanted to be sociable again. In fact James, Sirius, Remus and Peter who it seemed had become very good friends while she was... Off did use the levitation spell Lily had suggested and allowed her to help Peter and Remus master it while Sirius and James who were already very good at it were sneaking pies up to the dormitories a few at a time. The group of the four boys, it turned out had found quite a few secret passages and short cuts in their travels of the school and had one masterfully located near the top of the stair case in the great hall in which the could hide in while they levitated their half a dozen pies over top of the students and dropped them on their heads at a planned time. The plan in fact worked quite well. They were quickly caught and ended up in detention for a week, but plenty of Slytherins were pied during the process so it was considered a success none the less. Several weeks later, Lily sent word by owl asking Jenny if she could meet her in the Library sometime soon. Jenny ran up to her in the great hall the next morning yelling at her for sending an owl instead of just talking to her herself and said she'd meet her in the library today after her last class. So Lily sat waiting in the library after her last class that day looking anxiously for the first friend she had made at Hogwarts. "Lil'!" Jenny squealed very quietly as she entered the library so as to avoid a freakish glance from the librarian. Lily stood as Jenny greeted her with a tight hug. "Where've you been girl? I've been worried that you heard a nasty rumor about me and decided not to talk to me any more. Which wouldn't be completely unusual but completely depressing all the same... So what's been going on?"
Lily smiled relieved to see Jenny hadn't changed much, "I've been really... Off lately." "Oh don't worry about it... I know how off feels. I've been there girl trust me." She smiled. "So Amanda says hi."
"Great!" Lily said enthusiastically "How is she." "Oh same old, same old." Jenny waved her hand as if the topic was so uninteresting it wasn't worth talking about. "What's been happening with you? Word got around that you're friends with Potter, Pittigrew, Black and Lupin. Is that true?"
"Yeah." Lily answered, "I hang out with them." Jenny smiled, "Do you like any of them?" "Sure they're nice."
"No hun, I mean like, like." Jenny continued smiling.
"Oh... No" Lily said blushing a little.
"Oh you will, you can't hang out with four guys too long and not like any of them... The time will come." She checked her watch, "Oh... I've got to dash! I'm tutoring some second year in charms. Don't wait two months before you talk to me again Lily... I'll check up on you soon!" She said and stood walking quickly from the Library.
"See ya" Lily said smiling to her self. She leaned back and began thinking for a bit. It was good to be back and friends with people again. She had really missed Jenny. She thought back to the train ride coming to the school and laughed. What a trip it was where she had met Remus and Ganelle and Jenny and Jenny's friend also known as Remus' sister Amanda. There was another boy in that compartment... She couldn't remember his name though. It had been a good trip. And after all Remus had introduced her to James, Sirius and Peter. She smile when she thought of Sirius. Everyone thought she had a crush on him. Even he thought she had a crush on him. Did he still think so? Lily's eyes were beginning to droop. There was someone she was forgetting about... She put her arms on the table and her head on her arms. Someone she still hadn't talked to since January... Her eyes fluttered shut. The real person she had liked... She fell fast asleep.
"Excuse me." A voice said from next to her. Lily looked up from a book she wasn't reading to the face of an old classmate. "Josh?" She muttered, the boy looked at her confused,
"Josh? My name's Severus, Severus Snape... what's yours?" Lily stared at him oddly for a moment then shook her head,
"Oh sorry! You looked like an old friend of mine. Lily Evens is i... me... I am..." .
"Are you alright?" Lily asked James Potter in a very worried tone. He looked at her surprised as if he hadn't noticed her before and nodded his head at her. "I'm fine."
She smiled at him and then at Sirius who looked at her worried,
"Snape has never bothered you before has he?"
"No." She answered. "Why?"
James sighed, "He's an idiot. Promise you wont ever approach him. Then we'll know you're safe. Promise?"
"I promise." She said weakly."That's the only copy of that book in the Library." Severus said to her. "Did you know you've been on the first page for the last four hours?"
"Four hours?!" Lily asked.
So tell me, what had you entertained with this page so long?" Lily looked at him curiously and answered a bit nervously,
"Oh you know... stuff?" He chuckled at this remark. And said,
"All right. Keep your secrets. It was nice to have met you Lily Evens.""So are you ready to tell me what was on your mind the last time we talked?" He asked "You expect me to remember?" She asked, poking him flirtatiously. "That was in September. If you wanted an accurate account you should have made an attempt to talk to me sooner."
"And for not doing so I'm sorry. But I should definitely be off, and your friend will be looking for you. I hope to see you again Lily Evans. Happy Christmas." He said and walked through the door leaving Lily leaning against the wall of the empty Defense Against the Dark arts classroom, grinning from ear to ear. She whispered after him, though he was a long way out of ear shot,
"And you too. Severus Snape."
"Lily?"
"Lily?"
"LILY!"
Lily jumped in her seat and gave a tiny scream.
"Lil calm down it's just me."
She looked over and saw Remus Lupin standing next to her. She frowned and said, "Remus"
"You were sleeping. I walked by and noticed you were in here and came to say hi... But you were asleep."
Lily looked around, she was still in the library from her meeting with Jenny. "Wow. What time is it?"
"Not late." He said. "Only five."
"Good." She sighed in relief. "I've got to do homework."
"So are you going to the common room then?" He asked. She nodded and stood. "Er... Brilliant! Walk with me part way then wont you?" "Sure." She said. "Where are you going?"
"Home eventually. But I'm on my way to the hospital wing right now. Madame Pomphrey's accompanying me to the train." He smiled a little, quite nervously it seemed to Lily.
"Why are you going home?"
Remus shifted uncomfortably as they began walking towards the exit of the library. "Er... My mums sick... I'm going to visit her."
"Oh that's terrible Remus!" She said. "I'm sorry!"
"Er... It's not too bad" He said rather sadly and not at all to Lily's surprise. If her mother was so sick that she was to be pulled out of school to visit her she'd be sad too.
"Sorry..." She said, "But when do you think you'll be back?" "Two days I expect" He said now sound just plain old miserably.
"Oh! Well that's soon"
"Yeah." He said. "Well... Here's the hospital wing... I er... I guess I'll be seeing you." He waved to her and went in. "She waved back and walked towards the Gryffindor common room. She was nearly there when she was pulled quite curiously in to what seemed to be... A wall.
"What the- James?"
"The one and only!" he beamed. Sirius elbowed him and he said, "Oh yeah, where is Remus going?"
"To visit his mum." She said. "She's ill. Why?"
"Right you are mate! She's ill." Sirius said happily slapping her on the back."There you go bro." He was now talking to Lily. "He wouldn't lie to Lily. He's ill!"
"Wait... lie? Why would he lie?" "He wouldn't. James here is just being weird."
"Yeah..." James said half heartedly "he's just... He's just been leaving a lot... A lot..." He looked as though he had spaced out but he shook his head slowly and said. "Never mind, I'm sure he's fine!" He said and the three of them walked down to the Gryffindor common room.
"Professor McGonagall?" Lily said quietly as she as she walked in to her transfiguration teachers office. Her teacher looked up and recognition stretched across her face. "Ah, miss Evans yes sit down please." She said gesturing towards the chair in front of her desk. Lily complied. "I suppose you are aware of why you are here?" She asked seriously.
Lily looked nervously at her and in a confused but firm manner, "No professor... Am I in trouble?" The woman across from her sighed and removed her spectacles, "I am, to say the very least, very worried with the status of your grades in my classroom."
Lily looked very surprised at what she had said as if it was the last thing she had expected to here and asked quite seriously, "Is there something wrong with them?"
McGonagall, with this remark looked equally as surprised as her student had moments before, "Miss Evans have you not noticed that you've not gotten and grade above a D for the past two weeks?"
Lily shook her head in shock and stuttered out, "A-ah-ah D?" She looked down, her mouth gangling open, "H-how? W-when?" She felt her eyes start to moisten as tears were no doubt began formulating. "How could I not have noticed... Surly it's just Transfiguration." She muttered looking up are her professor.
"My dear... This is why I called you down, your grades are the same in all of your classes. I, and the remainder of your teachers are very worried about you. Is something wrong dear? I mean has something happened to you lately that you are not telling us? We just wish to understand Miss Evans." McGonagall said softly. Lily panicked, she couldn't tell her about the stag because she was sure she wouldn't let her go back but she couldn't tell her nothing so she did the only thing she could think to do, she let her tears come out and began sobbing. "I-I'm s-sorry professor. M-my h-head has been s-somewhere else lately I j-just miss her s-so much." McGonagall came around her desk and put a hand on Lily's shoulder handing her a tissue and asked very gently, who do you miss?" After a few moments Lily looked in to her eyes and whispered, "My sister Rose professor. She died over the summer."
Professor McGonagall, to Lily's relief took that story with out question and gave her the following day off so she could have that day and the weekend to catch up on some of her work. And work she did. She found it an immense relief to be working again and continuously taking her mind off the beautiful tapestry. In fact she even joined a conversation for the first time in months. She was planning on going to the library on Saturday evening and was walking out of her dormitory catching a bit of a conversation close by.
"I don't know, dung bombs aren't very original... I was thinking something new and fun..." She heard a boy she recognized immediately as James Potter say.
"Like what?" Her assumed crush from a few months ago asked.
He smirked quite slyly, "Why not try it muggle style for once? We could always throw pies at them. We've got passage into the kitchen haven't we?"
"Oh not James that could get the elves in trouble couldn't it? For giving you the pies?" Ganelle asked.
"Nah... I doubt it'd even cross their minds to blame elves. They'd be to busy trying to figure out who did it."
"How are we planning on not getting caught?" Remus asked curiously.
"A diversion bro!" Sirius said slapping Remus on the back causing him to cross out half the work he'd been doing when his quill skidded across the paper. "Sorry..." Sirius said seeing the damage he'd created.
"No problem..." Remus sighed and pulled out a fresh sheet and began copying the work over. "What sort of diversion?" Raven asked,
"Peeves probably." James said leaning back with his hands behind his head. "But that still doesn't stop the eye witnesses that you drop the pies on from reporting you."
"Yeah." Sirius said matter of factually. "We thought of that. Just can't figure out what to do about it." "What about a levitation spell? Wingardium Leviosa or something." Lily said quite suddenly walking in to view of the group. And making them all jump again causing Remus' pen to slip causing him to cross out his work yet again. "Oh for heaven's sake." She muttered when she noticed this. She took out her wand pointed it at his paper and said "Clareo" The new line vanished leaving his work as it was before she joined the group.
"Thanks Lily" Remus said. She began to smile but then Ganelle stood, looking at her and saying "She speaks." Sarcastically, "decided to come out of your cave have you?"
"Ganelle stop" Raven said.
"Why? She shouldn't be here. Not after she hasn't talked to us for over two months." "Hey, I'm really sorry about that..." Lily said sincerely,
"Oh, yeah? Prove it." Ganelle said.
"Ganelle, come on she said sorry." James said. "I don't think she would have said it if she didn't mean it."
"Right you are mate." Sirius said agreeing with James. "I think you a little off G'nelly"
But apparently Ganelle didn't think she was off, she stormed off to the dorm and wouldn't talk to Lily when she went to bed that night or the following day. But she was pleased that James, Raven, Sirius, Peter and Remus seemed to have accepted the fact that she had needed some time to herself the past few weeks and now she was sorry and wanted to be sociable again. In fact James, Sirius, Remus and Peter who it seemed had become very good friends while she was... Off did use the levitation spell Lily had suggested and allowed her to help Peter and Remus master it while Sirius and James who were already very good at it were sneaking pies up to the dormitories a few at a time. The group of the four boys, it turned out had found quite a few secret passages and short cuts in their travels of the school and had one masterfully located near the top of the stair case in the great hall in which the could hide in while they levitated their half a dozen pies over top of the students and dropped them on their heads at a planned time. The plan in fact worked quite well. They were quickly caught and ended up in detention for a week, but plenty of Slytherins were pied during the process so it was considered a success none the less. Several weeks later, Lily sent word by owl asking Jenny if she could meet her in the Library sometime soon. Jenny ran up to her in the great hall the next morning yelling at her for sending an owl instead of just talking to her herself and said she'd meet her in the library today after her last class. So Lily sat waiting in the library after her last class that day looking anxiously for the first friend she had made at Hogwarts. "Lil'!" Jenny squealed very quietly as she entered the library so as to avoid a freakish glance from the librarian. Lily stood as Jenny greeted her with a tight hug. "Where've you been girl? I've been worried that you heard a nasty rumor about me and decided not to talk to me any more. Which wouldn't be completely unusual but completely depressing all the same... So what's been going on?"
Lily smiled relieved to see Jenny hadn't changed much, "I've been really... Off lately." "Oh don't worry about it... I know how off feels. I've been there girl trust me." She smiled. "So Amanda says hi."
"Great!" Lily said enthusiastically "How is she." "Oh same old, same old." Jenny waved her hand as if the topic was so uninteresting it wasn't worth talking about. "What's been happening with you? Word got around that you're friends with Potter, Pittigrew, Black and Lupin. Is that true?"
"Yeah." Lily answered, "I hang out with them." Jenny smiled, "Do you like any of them?" "Sure they're nice."
"No hun, I mean like, like." Jenny continued smiling.
"Oh... No" Lily said blushing a little.
"Oh you will, you can't hang out with four guys too long and not like any of them... The time will come." She checked her watch, "Oh... I've got to dash! I'm tutoring some second year in charms. Don't wait two months before you talk to me again Lily... I'll check up on you soon!" She said and stood walking quickly from the Library.
"See ya" Lily said smiling to her self. She leaned back and began thinking for a bit. It was good to be back and friends with people again. She had really missed Jenny. She thought back to the train ride coming to the school and laughed. What a trip it was where she had met Remus and Ganelle and Jenny and Jenny's friend also known as Remus' sister Amanda. There was another boy in that compartment... She couldn't remember his name though. It had been a good trip. And after all Remus had introduced her to James, Sirius and Peter. She smile when she thought of Sirius. Everyone thought she had a crush on him. Even he thought she had a crush on him. Did he still think so? Lily's eyes were beginning to droop. There was someone she was forgetting about... She put her arms on the table and her head on her arms. Someone she still hadn't talked to since January... Her eyes fluttered shut. The real person she had liked... She fell fast asleep.
"Excuse me." A voice said from next to her. Lily looked up from a book she wasn't reading to the face of an old classmate. "Josh?" She muttered, the boy looked at her confused,
"Josh? My name's Severus, Severus Snape... what's yours?" Lily stared at him oddly for a moment then shook her head,
"Oh sorry! You looked like an old friend of mine. Lily Evens is i... me... I am..." .
"Are you alright?" Lily asked James Potter in a very worried tone. He looked at her surprised as if he hadn't noticed her before and nodded his head at her. "I'm fine."
She smiled at him and then at Sirius who looked at her worried,
"Snape has never bothered you before has he?"
"No." She answered. "Why?"
James sighed, "He's an idiot. Promise you wont ever approach him. Then we'll know you're safe. Promise?"
"I promise." She said weakly."That's the only copy of that book in the Library." Severus said to her. "Did you know you've been on the first page for the last four hours?"
"Four hours?!" Lily asked.
So tell me, what had you entertained with this page so long?" Lily looked at him curiously and answered a bit nervously,
"Oh you know... stuff?" He chuckled at this remark. And said,
"All right. Keep your secrets. It was nice to have met you Lily Evens.""So are you ready to tell me what was on your mind the last time we talked?" He asked "You expect me to remember?" She asked, poking him flirtatiously. "That was in September. If you wanted an accurate account you should have made an attempt to talk to me sooner."
"And for not doing so I'm sorry. But I should definitely be off, and your friend will be looking for you. I hope to see you again Lily Evans. Happy Christmas." He said and walked through the door leaving Lily leaning against the wall of the empty Defense Against the Dark arts classroom, grinning from ear to ear. She whispered after him, though he was a long way out of ear shot,
"And you too. Severus Snape."
"Lily?"
"Lily?"
"LILY!"
Lily jumped in her seat and gave a tiny scream.
"Lil calm down it's just me."
She looked over and saw Remus Lupin standing next to her. She frowned and said, "Remus"
"You were sleeping. I walked by and noticed you were in here and came to say hi... But you were asleep."
Lily looked around, she was still in the library from her meeting with Jenny. "Wow. What time is it?"
"Not late." He said. "Only five."
"Good." She sighed in relief. "I've got to do homework."
"So are you going to the common room then?" He asked. She nodded and stood. "Er... Brilliant! Walk with me part way then wont you?" "Sure." She said. "Where are you going?"
"Home eventually. But I'm on my way to the hospital wing right now. Madame Pomphrey's accompanying me to the train." He smiled a little, quite nervously it seemed to Lily.
"Why are you going home?"
Remus shifted uncomfortably as they began walking towards the exit of the library. "Er... My mums sick... I'm going to visit her."
"Oh that's terrible Remus!" She said. "I'm sorry!"
"Er... It's not too bad" He said rather sadly and not at all to Lily's surprise. If her mother was so sick that she was to be pulled out of school to visit her she'd be sad too.
"Sorry..." She said, "But when do you think you'll be back?" "Two days I expect" He said now sound just plain old miserably.
"Oh! Well that's soon"
"Yeah." He said. "Well... Here's the hospital wing... I er... I guess I'll be seeing you." He waved to her and went in. "She waved back and walked towards the Gryffindor common room. She was nearly there when she was pulled quite curiously in to what seemed to be... A wall.
"What the- James?"
"The one and only!" he beamed. Sirius elbowed him and he said, "Oh yeah, where is Remus going?"
"To visit his mum." She said. "She's ill. Why?"
"Right you are mate! She's ill." Sirius said happily slapping her on the back."There you go bro." He was now talking to Lily. "He wouldn't lie to Lily. He's ill!"
"Wait... lie? Why would he lie?" "He wouldn't. James here is just being weird."
"Yeah..." James said half heartedly "he's just... He's just been leaving a lot... A lot..." He looked as though he had spaced out but he shook his head slowly and said. "Never mind, I'm sure he's fine!" He said and the three of them walked down to the Gryffindor common room.