Anti-lawyer spell: Only borrowing, not making any money with it, promise to
return ( although condition should have improved no guarantee is given).
Please review in abundance, it's the only thing that keeps me going.
Summary: Sometimes dreams can become reality, the problem is deciding which ones and when that line has been crossed. A Snape and Hermione story which may change rating, depending upon the reviews and bunnies.
Huge thanks to my beta Kellye, she's brilliant---what more can I say! sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"You did what! Merlin, Hermione. You didn't even have your wand with you. He could have hexed you into oblivion!! I bloody would have, if it was me" Cassandra turned angrily to pace up and down the confined space of the second floor ladies bathroom in the Ministry of Magic.
Hermione's already watering eyes gave up the struggle of keeping back the tears and they cascaded down her cheeks in a silent flood.
"Why? Just tell me what you were thinking. Everything was going so well." Her voice trailed off with exasperation as she settled herself on the edge of the counter and waited for the sobbing Hermione to explain.
"Oh Cass, it wasn't as if I planned it." Hermione moaned, wringing her sodden handkerchief between her hands. " I just suddenly felt trapped. All the feelings of hurt and anger that I had bottled up over seven years of being his pupil just exploded. I didn't think, I was too scared to think. I just suddenly felt a desperate desire to be as far as possible from him. I just felt a complete revulsion for what I was feeling. I..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go back there a bit. You felt guilty for being happy?"
"Yes, yes I suppose I did."
"Have you told Harry and Ron about this yet?" Cass questioned more gently this time.
"No, I mean, just how do I explain this to them. Sorry guys, you know the man who you absolutely hated at school, well we are shagging like bunnies so please be happy for me!"
"There is no need for the sarcasm Hermione." Cass snorted, totally unaware of how Hermione's tone mimicked the man himself..
"Sorry Cass. I just don't know what to tell them, let alone how. They are going to be so hurt."
"So it was better to hurt him and yourself?"
The silence in the bathroom was total until Hermione's whispered, "Yes."
Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssss
If Severus's colleagues and students had thought that they had seen him in a bad mood earlier in the year, it was nothing compared to the black rage they now saw. Unless there was an extremely pressing reason to talk to him, everyone without exception avoided him. Classes were taught with the minimum of talking. Detentions were handed out with abandon, all to be taken with other teachers, as Severus did not want to spend a second longer in company than he was required to by contract. Even the Slytherins tiptoed around him, hoping not to attract any of his scowling attention.
Dumbledore had tried speaking to him. The interview had been exceptionally short. The only words spoken by Snape being those of dismissal. Albus had left the dungeon heavy of heart. He had been so glad to see the couple making progress. He understood Hermione's reservations, but he also understood how much they both served to gain from this relationship. If this was not to stop right here, then Miss Granger was going to have to do some serious grovelling, he decided. Time to meddle a little, he thought, his blue eyes twinkling again as plans whizzed around his head.
The headaches were getting worse, pounding, her vision becoming blurred. She needed to sleep, not the half awake scared fitful sleep she had endured for the last week, but to really sleep, to dream without fear. This she knew, she just hadn't been ready for any unexpected trips.
Slowly pulling the covers up to her chin, she snuggled below her covers. If she did end up back in Severus' rooms, she would simply turn and leave. He would probably prefer it that way anyway.
Her eyes opened to his darkened rooms, the layout now as familiar as her own, even in the half light created by the smouldering fire in the grate. Turning, straining her eyes to catch any sound which emanated from his room, she left his quarters, not knowing where her feet would carry her.
As it happened, she found herself up in the astronomy tower, gazing towards the lake, her memories replaying themselves through her head. The look of total devastation in his eyes was enough to make her weep again, tears of anguish, tears of guilt. She had been wrong, she saw that now. She had been so wrong. All her doubts and worries had built up, being pushed to the back of her mind rather than being dealt with. Through all her conversations with Severus, they had never discussed this aspect of their relationship. They had needed to talk, but they were so busy tiptoeing around each other, that they did not yet have the confidence to be so open to each other. Would they make it public? What would they tell people? How would they deal with the inevitable backlash of feeling that this would cause in some quarters. The realisation that she needed to get him to talk, to seriously talk about their feelings, was not the happy revelation she expected. She simply could not think of a more unlikely scenario than Severus' declaring his heart to her. After their last encounter, it was just not going to happen.
Deep in thought, Hermione did not hear the light footsteps of the headmaster, nor did she sense his presence, until he put his hand on her shoulder.
"Aargh!"
"I'm terribly sorry Miss Granger, I had not meant to frighten the life out of you, my dear. You seemed a little pre-occupied?" he questioned, gracefully flopping into a comfy armchair he had just transfigured from an old telescope tarpaulin sitting in the corner of the room.
Hermione tried to still her racing heart, as she struggled with an answer. Just how much did she want to divulge? Just how much did he already know? Deciding that she needed as many allies as possible for the forthcoming battle, she sat down on the dusty floor, tucking her knees up and leaning against the tower's wall. She rested her crossed arms on her drawn up knees, and her chin on top of that and looked into the innocent gaze of the most powerful wizard she had ever met.
"Do you know why I am here?"
"Is this a meaning of life type of question or more specifically in this tower, Miss Granger?" he queried, his hands steepling in front of him.
"No. I think it is more of a how am I here question actually. Did you bring me here Sir?" she asked, her eyes searching his face for an answer.
"No my dear. I had nothing to do with your dreams. There is only one power that could have been pulled you through realities."
Hermione sat up, her attention completely caught by the old wizard's words. "What?" she asked, dreading the answer.
"Hermione, what is the most powerful emotion in this world?" he queried, smiling at her whispered answer.
"Yes, my dear. You are quite correct. Love is the most powerful, in all its many forms. The human need for love causes us to do the most illogical things, all of us. Although you had the love of your parents, the love of friendship and companions, still you yearned for something else. You needed the love of a partner, a friend who was more than just a friend, a companion to share your innermost thoughts.
This yearning my dear, it is quite natural, and every one of us single folks, and unfortunately quite a few married ones too, we all seek it. Desperately needing it to light our days.
As for why you managed to cross the realities, my best guess would be this. When you dream, my dear, when your heart soars and you imagine your deepest desires and fears, there are forces which come to bear. The borders between reality and dreams are fluid, their definition hazy. Many are the sad wretches who have found themselves caught on the wrong side of that border Hermione. These people walk this world, but live in their own minds, dreaming their fantasies to the exclusion of real life. Their dreams become their reality, until they are no longer content without their dream world. Some will try to fashion reality into their dreams, moulding this world into their own. It never works Hermione. Although the borders are hazy, they still exist, and they exist for a reason. To protect us, and to protect this reality and the many others which exist."
"Voldemort" she whispered," he was such a dreamer, wasn't he?"
"Yes my dear, I believe that he was. He tried to mould the world, as have many before him. This world, both Muggle and Wizarding has its fair share of dreamers Hermione. Some are harmless, caught up in fantasy war games, copying their favourite characters, filling their lives with meaningless ritual. Some allow for beautiful artistry and wonderful new innovations which benefit the rest of humanity as well as their own souls. However, for some, for those unlucky few, their dreams are egocentric. Their fulfilment damages many others, and so these are the people we fear and revile. They are simply dreamers Hermione, it is their weakness, it is the way to destroy them, to contain them. It is also their greatest strength, their escape route from all consequences."
"But why could I cross the line?"
"Because it was not just you dreaming my dear. I believe that Severus was also dreaming, yearning for the same contact as yourself, hoping for the love you found together. Your two minds called to each other in the ether of the dream world, and made a connection. You managed to cross the border into this reality because you are both very powerful Hermione, and you both wanted this dream with all your hearts. You chose for this dream to become special, you chose to make this dream real. You both chose this Hermione, and the fact that you managed to come here, even after you knew his identity, proves the feelings of your heart, even if you are having difficulty reconciling that to the logic of your head.
Don't fear him Hermione, he is simply the other half of the dream." The old man raised himself from the chair, tucking his hands inside his sleeves.
"I'll leave you to think on it." he said, gliding towards the door.
"Thank you" she whispered, her words choked by the tears which ran freely down her cheeks. "Thank you"
"I'm glad to help my dear. Always." He smiled and left, supremely happy about the outcome of this little talk, closing the door behind him.
I chose this. I chose him. I choose this dream to be my reality, she thought to herself. It ran around her head, returning to chime again and again, until she knew, knew with absolute certainty that this is what she wanted. He was what she wanted. Damn the consequences. If her friends loved her then they would understand, they would come round eventually. She could, if the worst came to the worst, live without them. She was not sure that she could live without him. Not live as she needed to, as she desperately wanted to. She had been caught in her dream too long to let it go now.
Dreams and reality were one thing, but getting Severus to forgive her, that would be a whole different ball game. She sighed deeply and dusted off her creased cloak. She needed to begin as soon as possible, before her conviction wavered.
The door to his bedroom was shut, as it always had been, the light spilling out from under it showed that he was still awake, aware of her presence no doubt. She put her trembling hand on the old handle, its feel well remembered beneath her fingers. Now or never Hermione, she told herself, as she turned the handle, adrenalin pumping through every fibre of her being.
It was locked!
Please review in abundance, it's the only thing that keeps me going.
Summary: Sometimes dreams can become reality, the problem is deciding which ones and when that line has been crossed. A Snape and Hermione story which may change rating, depending upon the reviews and bunnies.
Huge thanks to my beta Kellye, she's brilliant---what more can I say! sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
"You did what! Merlin, Hermione. You didn't even have your wand with you. He could have hexed you into oblivion!! I bloody would have, if it was me" Cassandra turned angrily to pace up and down the confined space of the second floor ladies bathroom in the Ministry of Magic.
Hermione's already watering eyes gave up the struggle of keeping back the tears and they cascaded down her cheeks in a silent flood.
"Why? Just tell me what you were thinking. Everything was going so well." Her voice trailed off with exasperation as she settled herself on the edge of the counter and waited for the sobbing Hermione to explain.
"Oh Cass, it wasn't as if I planned it." Hermione moaned, wringing her sodden handkerchief between her hands. " I just suddenly felt trapped. All the feelings of hurt and anger that I had bottled up over seven years of being his pupil just exploded. I didn't think, I was too scared to think. I just suddenly felt a desperate desire to be as far as possible from him. I just felt a complete revulsion for what I was feeling. I..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go back there a bit. You felt guilty for being happy?"
"Yes, yes I suppose I did."
"Have you told Harry and Ron about this yet?" Cass questioned more gently this time.
"No, I mean, just how do I explain this to them. Sorry guys, you know the man who you absolutely hated at school, well we are shagging like bunnies so please be happy for me!"
"There is no need for the sarcasm Hermione." Cass snorted, totally unaware of how Hermione's tone mimicked the man himself..
"Sorry Cass. I just don't know what to tell them, let alone how. They are going to be so hurt."
"So it was better to hurt him and yourself?"
The silence in the bathroom was total until Hermione's whispered, "Yes."
Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssss
If Severus's colleagues and students had thought that they had seen him in a bad mood earlier in the year, it was nothing compared to the black rage they now saw. Unless there was an extremely pressing reason to talk to him, everyone without exception avoided him. Classes were taught with the minimum of talking. Detentions were handed out with abandon, all to be taken with other teachers, as Severus did not want to spend a second longer in company than he was required to by contract. Even the Slytherins tiptoed around him, hoping not to attract any of his scowling attention.
Dumbledore had tried speaking to him. The interview had been exceptionally short. The only words spoken by Snape being those of dismissal. Albus had left the dungeon heavy of heart. He had been so glad to see the couple making progress. He understood Hermione's reservations, but he also understood how much they both served to gain from this relationship. If this was not to stop right here, then Miss Granger was going to have to do some serious grovelling, he decided. Time to meddle a little, he thought, his blue eyes twinkling again as plans whizzed around his head.
The headaches were getting worse, pounding, her vision becoming blurred. She needed to sleep, not the half awake scared fitful sleep she had endured for the last week, but to really sleep, to dream without fear. This she knew, she just hadn't been ready for any unexpected trips.
Slowly pulling the covers up to her chin, she snuggled below her covers. If she did end up back in Severus' rooms, she would simply turn and leave. He would probably prefer it that way anyway.
Her eyes opened to his darkened rooms, the layout now as familiar as her own, even in the half light created by the smouldering fire in the grate. Turning, straining her eyes to catch any sound which emanated from his room, she left his quarters, not knowing where her feet would carry her.
As it happened, she found herself up in the astronomy tower, gazing towards the lake, her memories replaying themselves through her head. The look of total devastation in his eyes was enough to make her weep again, tears of anguish, tears of guilt. She had been wrong, she saw that now. She had been so wrong. All her doubts and worries had built up, being pushed to the back of her mind rather than being dealt with. Through all her conversations with Severus, they had never discussed this aspect of their relationship. They had needed to talk, but they were so busy tiptoeing around each other, that they did not yet have the confidence to be so open to each other. Would they make it public? What would they tell people? How would they deal with the inevitable backlash of feeling that this would cause in some quarters. The realisation that she needed to get him to talk, to seriously talk about their feelings, was not the happy revelation she expected. She simply could not think of a more unlikely scenario than Severus' declaring his heart to her. After their last encounter, it was just not going to happen.
Deep in thought, Hermione did not hear the light footsteps of the headmaster, nor did she sense his presence, until he put his hand on her shoulder.
"Aargh!"
"I'm terribly sorry Miss Granger, I had not meant to frighten the life out of you, my dear. You seemed a little pre-occupied?" he questioned, gracefully flopping into a comfy armchair he had just transfigured from an old telescope tarpaulin sitting in the corner of the room.
Hermione tried to still her racing heart, as she struggled with an answer. Just how much did she want to divulge? Just how much did he already know? Deciding that she needed as many allies as possible for the forthcoming battle, she sat down on the dusty floor, tucking her knees up and leaning against the tower's wall. She rested her crossed arms on her drawn up knees, and her chin on top of that and looked into the innocent gaze of the most powerful wizard she had ever met.
"Do you know why I am here?"
"Is this a meaning of life type of question or more specifically in this tower, Miss Granger?" he queried, his hands steepling in front of him.
"No. I think it is more of a how am I here question actually. Did you bring me here Sir?" she asked, her eyes searching his face for an answer.
"No my dear. I had nothing to do with your dreams. There is only one power that could have been pulled you through realities."
Hermione sat up, her attention completely caught by the old wizard's words. "What?" she asked, dreading the answer.
"Hermione, what is the most powerful emotion in this world?" he queried, smiling at her whispered answer.
"Yes, my dear. You are quite correct. Love is the most powerful, in all its many forms. The human need for love causes us to do the most illogical things, all of us. Although you had the love of your parents, the love of friendship and companions, still you yearned for something else. You needed the love of a partner, a friend who was more than just a friend, a companion to share your innermost thoughts.
This yearning my dear, it is quite natural, and every one of us single folks, and unfortunately quite a few married ones too, we all seek it. Desperately needing it to light our days.
As for why you managed to cross the realities, my best guess would be this. When you dream, my dear, when your heart soars and you imagine your deepest desires and fears, there are forces which come to bear. The borders between reality and dreams are fluid, their definition hazy. Many are the sad wretches who have found themselves caught on the wrong side of that border Hermione. These people walk this world, but live in their own minds, dreaming their fantasies to the exclusion of real life. Their dreams become their reality, until they are no longer content without their dream world. Some will try to fashion reality into their dreams, moulding this world into their own. It never works Hermione. Although the borders are hazy, they still exist, and they exist for a reason. To protect us, and to protect this reality and the many others which exist."
"Voldemort" she whispered," he was such a dreamer, wasn't he?"
"Yes my dear, I believe that he was. He tried to mould the world, as have many before him. This world, both Muggle and Wizarding has its fair share of dreamers Hermione. Some are harmless, caught up in fantasy war games, copying their favourite characters, filling their lives with meaningless ritual. Some allow for beautiful artistry and wonderful new innovations which benefit the rest of humanity as well as their own souls. However, for some, for those unlucky few, their dreams are egocentric. Their fulfilment damages many others, and so these are the people we fear and revile. They are simply dreamers Hermione, it is their weakness, it is the way to destroy them, to contain them. It is also their greatest strength, their escape route from all consequences."
"But why could I cross the line?"
"Because it was not just you dreaming my dear. I believe that Severus was also dreaming, yearning for the same contact as yourself, hoping for the love you found together. Your two minds called to each other in the ether of the dream world, and made a connection. You managed to cross the border into this reality because you are both very powerful Hermione, and you both wanted this dream with all your hearts. You chose for this dream to become special, you chose to make this dream real. You both chose this Hermione, and the fact that you managed to come here, even after you knew his identity, proves the feelings of your heart, even if you are having difficulty reconciling that to the logic of your head.
Don't fear him Hermione, he is simply the other half of the dream." The old man raised himself from the chair, tucking his hands inside his sleeves.
"I'll leave you to think on it." he said, gliding towards the door.
"Thank you" she whispered, her words choked by the tears which ran freely down her cheeks. "Thank you"
"I'm glad to help my dear. Always." He smiled and left, supremely happy about the outcome of this little talk, closing the door behind him.
I chose this. I chose him. I choose this dream to be my reality, she thought to herself. It ran around her head, returning to chime again and again, until she knew, knew with absolute certainty that this is what she wanted. He was what she wanted. Damn the consequences. If her friends loved her then they would understand, they would come round eventually. She could, if the worst came to the worst, live without them. She was not sure that she could live without him. Not live as she needed to, as she desperately wanted to. She had been caught in her dream too long to let it go now.
Dreams and reality were one thing, but getting Severus to forgive her, that would be a whole different ball game. She sighed deeply and dusted off her creased cloak. She needed to begin as soon as possible, before her conviction wavered.
The door to his bedroom was shut, as it always had been, the light spilling out from under it showed that he was still awake, aware of her presence no doubt. She put her trembling hand on the old handle, its feel well remembered beneath her fingers. Now or never Hermione, she told herself, as she turned the handle, adrenalin pumping through every fibre of her being.
It was locked!