Fear Itself

Chapter Seven

Catherine was trying to get over another one of her cramps as she was washing dishes from dinner. She quickly put the plates in the sink before she dropped them when the cramp hit.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Lindsay asked.

"Nothing baby," she said. "Um, just go on to bed sweetheart. Mommy's going to be fine."

The ten year old stood in the door way for a second more before turning around and going to her room and closing the door. The girl didn't understand all that was going on. She hadn't been to school in two weeks. She was afraid of getting on the bus. Catherine didn't know how to comfort her child and tell her not to fear because Catherine didn't even know how to comfort herself. Being with Warrick was wonderful, but it wasn't enough anymore. She didn't know how she felt anymore.

Catherine began to cry as she went over to the breakfast nook and sat down. She wasn't even sure if she truly loved Warrick. She'd been fighting over her emotions for him for years, and now that they'd been together a few times, she was thoroughly confused as to whether what she was feeling was real or just residual from the anxiety she was feeling from the attacks.

She hugged herself to keep herself warm from the cold, expectant feeling that crept up her spine. She jumped when the phone rang and she exhaled heavily as she got up to answer it.

"Willows residence," she answered.

"Hey Cath it's Nick."

"Oh," she sniffled. "Hey Nick. What's up?"

"Catherine, have you been crying?" He asked. "Are you okay? Maybe I should call another-"

"No," she said quickly. "I'm okay, really. It's just…just allergies that's all."

"Oh," he said, not sounding very convinced. "Well anyway, Archie said he's got your information on that gazette you were looking at. He said that he paged you but you never came back by."

"Oh," she sighed. "Yeah, um, can you pick that up for me and just put it in my box, and I'll come by and get it later."

"Okay," he said. "I can bring it by for you if-"

"No, that's okay really," she insisted. "I'll pick it up next shift. It may not be anything at all. It's not that important."

"Okay," he said. "It'll be in your box. See you later."

"Bye Nick," she said before hanging up.

She put the phone on the base to recharge and then she headed to the shower. She turned the water on hot and then she shed her clothes. She stepped in the spray and let it wash over her body. She relaxed her muscles and pushed her hair out of her face. She grabbed the soap and washed her body of all of the day's and part of the night's impurities. For a moment she imagined Warrick's touch instead of her own. She closed her eyes and grinned a bit.

She felt so vulnerable that it scared her. A man had never made her feel the way she did. The thought of Warrick not being around frightened her even more, and she began to cry again. She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She put on a robe and went to her bedroom. She sat on the bed weeping, and she hugged a pillow close to her.

Life was rapidly unraveling before her eyes and she felt powerless to stop it.

Nick found Catherine's box in the main office and slipped the papers into it. She had quite a bit of memos in her box and he decided to check his own.

There was nothing in it except a few notices about changed in policy and vacation notices and whatnot.

He tossed the notices and then headed to the break room. He found Warrick there, looking over some paper work.

"Hey," he said. "I thought you went home."

"Nothing to go home to," Warrick chuckled. "I've got a few hours left."

"Me too," Nick said. "I think I'm gonna stop by Catherine's later to see if she's alright. I called her earlier about some information she wanted and she sounded like she'd been crying. She's been acting very strange lately."

"Yeah," Warrick agreed. "I wish she'd go to the hospital about those cramps."

"You know Catherine," Nick said. "She's stubborn."

Warrick nodded. He found it amazingly easy to hide his relationship with Catherine. Maybe it was due to the fact that they hadn't seen each other outside of work for a couple of weeks. He could tell that she was really starting to rethink what they had started because he was thinking about it. Catherine was so wrapped up in finding out who was trying to hurt her daughter and other people's children that they barely spoke even at work. That didn't mean that he loved her any less…that is if it was love that he was feeling.

Warrick pushed those thoughts from his head.

Nick was sure that both of his friends were troubled as well as he. He knew for a fact that Catherine was crying; what about he didn't know, but the idea of trying to be brave and to go on with life as usual was impossible.

Sara's vulnerability caused her to withdraw into herself. How could one face reality after witnessing such a horrendous act of mass murder? Nick was almost losing it himself, and he was trying to stay strong not only for himself, but for his friends.

Grissom came in looking rather depressed, and it didn't help to liven the mood. A strange calm rested over the city and Grissom hadn't seen Las Vegas in calm in years.

The worst feeling thought was the feeling that justice may not be served in the case. It was hard to investigate attacks. They were calculated, hard to process, and suspects are hard to come by because many people were involved in those kinds of attacks. Grissom didn't know how to tell the team that their efforts in the investigation was over; it was definitely disheartening, and he was glad that Catherine had already gone home so that he was spared her anger.

But still, ending their investigation wasn't the hardest thing; healing was.