Harry Potter and the Search for Himself

Disclaimer: I own not Harry Potter nor any other characters from this marvelous world. I could only hope to have the imagination and writing ability of J. K. Rowling. I am making no money off of this story.

Author's note: Hello!?!? Waves weakly Is there anyone even reading this? If so a a word would be appreciated. Even if it just says your reading until I screw it up so badly I need to torch it. Lol Also, can anyone tell me why I can't seem to get more than one space between paragraphs in the story? Ah, well. On to the story

After opening Dumbledore's letter Harry read through it trying to keep his temper from exploding. 'Damn him,' Harry thought, 'I'm getting tired of his half baked explinations!' He looked over the letter again trying to find some more information in it or to even find an idea on what to do next.

Harry,

You will be receiving this letter at the same time as you receive Remus' letter since I am sending both at the same time. Remus has just left my office in a bad mood due to my not allowing you to go to Diagon Alley. I am sorry but we can't risk it at this time. We don't know where Voldemort is at the moment. We can't afford to let him have even a chance of getting ahold of you. One of his Death Eaters could possibly see and grab you while you are in Diagon Alley. You need to stay close to your family this summer. Remember our conversation at the end of the school year. The blood magic is your only real full proof protection at the moment. I also need to tell you that you need to stay close to home over the summer unless in the company of your aunt.

I have already told Remus that I will allow him to draw money from your account to buy things you request him to pick up for you. While I know that this probably does not please you, I feel it is for the best. Both for the reasons I have listed above and others that I cannot talk to you about at this time.

Remus also conveyed your desire to know when you could leave the Dursley's, but I do not know the answer myself yet. The Burrow is not well enough protected and we are still trying to determine the extent to which Kreacher compromised the security of Headquarters. I would let you come to Hogwarts but it is school policy to not let students remain here during summer holidays. I can tell you that you will need to stay where you are till atleast around your birthday so that the protection may be fully recharged.

Over the summer I need you to keep practicing your Occlumency training Harry. That training is imperative in preventing Voldemort from entering your mind and either sending you false information or finding information that must be kept a secret. Once you return to school in the fall you will resume your training with your previous instructor in the subject. I'm sure you realize the neccesity of this training.

Additionally, I have already talked to Miss Granger, Mr. and Miss Weasley, Mr. Longbottom, and Miss Lovegood about their letters this summer. Of neccesity, I have informed them that all letters are to mention nothing of particular importance since their owls may be intercepted. All of them are being guarded this summer by the 'old crowd'. You need not worry for their safety. I have also arranged for you rowl results to be sent to Hogwarts, where I will forward them to you by safe courrior on your birthday.

I hope your summer is as happy and safe as is possible under the circumstances.

Your truly,

Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. Of Wizards)

After reading the letter a couple more times, Harry's temper hadn't abated in the least. His mind however, while not the strategic one he admired Ron for nor the genius that he thought so suited Hermoine, did what is always seemd to do when he was in a crunch. He suddenly had an idea on what to do for the summer. That was what always surprised and pleased him about his own mind. He would take various clues and come up with an explination for them or a plan of action on the spur of the moment. He did fully realize that it wasn't always the right explination or plan but could usually be counted on. He just wished, at times, it would happen in class more often

'Not a bad start to a plan,' Harry thought, 'just need to flesh it out a little. First order of business is to get money and supplies. Then I need to figure out how to get Dumbledore off my tail for awhile.'

Harry spent the rest of that day and the next in thought. He came up with quite a few ideas. Some he discarded as soon as they came to him, others he looked at and examined before discarding or holding on to them. One idea that while appealing, he discarded almost immediatley was about running away to the ends of the earth and forgetting all about the whole war. Irresponsible, illogical and absolutely unfeasable though it was, he wouldn't mind not having to worry about the war. By dinner that night he had a rough plan that he was ready to start to work with. He knew changes would occur, some of them on the fly, but it would give him some time to himself. Maybe it would even give him some perspective on life and let him siff if maybe Dumbledore had been in the least bit correct about how he dictated Harry's life. Harry had decided that though angry, he would be willing to entertain the idea that Dumbledore might in some way be correct. Lord knew Harry had been wrong about things before.

During dinner that night he started the first part of his plan. After eating part of his dinner and listening to his aunt and uncle talk while Dudley stuffed his face he addressed his family. "Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon?" he said.

"What do you want?" his uncle sneered at him. "Is the dinner not good enough for a freak such as yourself? Maybe we should be making you a meal fit for the bloody Queen!"

Surpressing his anger and trying his best to remain polite he answered calmly, "This food is fine Uncle Vernon. There is something else thou. Well... you see, I need to go to London sometime within the next few days."

"And why are you telling us this?" Aunt Petunia questioned warily. "You surely don't think we are going to take you, do you?"

"Well," Harry started slowly, "I didn't really think you would want to but I figured I would ask."

"Wait a minute boy." Uncle Vernon said suspiciously. "You don't seem to even care that we said no. What type of ideas do you have. You're not planning on doing any of your freak stuff are you?"

Taking a bite of his potatoes, Harry seemed to think about his answer briefly. "No Uncle Vernon, I'm not planning on doing any of my freak stuff. I just thought I would ask since you said you didn't want any of my 'friends' to show up at the house." He decided to forge on before his uncle could blow up, a distinct possibility if his rapidly purpling face was any indication. "The know I need to go to Charing Cross road in London. They sent me a letter asking what day would be the best for them to pick me up and take me. I remembered you telling me that you didn't want them at the house, so I wrote them back asking if I could have one of you drop me off and pick me up there. As I said, I felt you wouldn't want to but I needed to ask." He then proceeded to continue eating, acting like he thought the conversation was over with.

Uncle Vernon had started to sputter right about the time he stopped talking and Aunt Petunia had paled considerably. Dudley had a somewhat paniced and fearfull look on his face while one of his hands covered his mouth and the other inched towards his backside.

"You mean our only choices are to let those ruddy freaks come here to pick you up and bring you back or to take, drop you off, and then pick you up?" Uncle Vernon sputtered.

Harry made sure that his face registered a slight surprise when he answered. "Um, that's right. But I really didn't think that you would want to take me. It's allright. They said that they would prefer to pick me up anyways."

"And just how would they be picking you up?" Uncle Vernon asked suspiciously.

"They didn't tell me how they would be picking me up. We wouldn't be flying since it would be daylight, so I imagine that they might decide to hook up the fireplace again or maybe have us take the Knight Bus. Although I don't think it runs during the day." Harry expained, managing to look utterly clueless even though he was dying from laughter on the inside.

"Vernon, don't you think it would be better to just take the boy rather than let those... those people inside our house?" Aunt Petunia said with a trace of worry in her voice.

"Umm, Aunt Petunia, that's another thing I should tell you. They, well, they said that you would have to be the one to take me." Harry said quickly. Looking at the mixture of horror and disgust on her face he quickly pushed on. "They said you wouldn't even have to see them though. You could drop me off at the curb and pick me up at the designated time."

"What day are you supposed to go to London and from what time to what time?" Aunt Petunia asked wearily.

"They wanted me to write them tonight so that we could figure out what day exactly. Since today is Monday, they wanted to do it on Wednesday or Thursday. As for times, I need to be there by 9am but not more than 15 minutes early and I would leave at 1pm," Harry said in a tone that indicated he was repeating something that he had read word for word. Inwardly he was grinning estatically about how well the conversation was going.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia glanced at each other quickly. Uncle Vernon then turned back to Harry before speaking. "Clean up the table and the dishes. Your aunt and I will talk about this while you are doing that. We'll be in the living room when you are done. We'll tell you then. Understand that boy?" Uncle Vernon said before getting up and leaving the room without waiting for Harry's response. He was quickly followed by both Aunt Petunia and Dudley.

"Yes Uncle Vernon," Harry said to the now empty dining room. 'Perfect!' he thought joyously. 'They fell for much easier then I could have hoped for. I just wonder what day they will decide to take me on.'

Harry did the dishes a bit slower than he usually did so that he could make his aunt and uncle sweat a bit. When he had finished, he dried his hands and walked toward the living room. When he entered he noticed that both of them were obviously uncomfortable and upset. They didn't even realize he was there till he spoke. "The dishes are done Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia."

Both jumped slightly and then glanced at the other. Finally his aunt spoke up. "We've decided that I will take you to London on Wednesday. Make sure you let them know what day because I won't take you back again if they make a mistake nor will we let them come here to pick you up. You will be ready to leave here early that morning and I will pick you up at 1:00 sharp. Don not be late or you will take the train back. Do you understand what I have just told you?" she asked with a bit of anger in her voice.

"Yes Aunt Petunia. Was there anything else or may I go send them a letter now?" Harry asked quietly. He felt that cheering or even seeming a bit to happy wouldn't bode well for him.

"Yes, yes. Go now before they decide to come knocking on the door to find the answer," Uncle Vernon said quickly.

Heading upstairs swiftly, Harry congragulated himself on the success of his plan thus far. As soon as he entered his room he took a look around for Hedwig. Spotting her sitting in her cage, he spoke to her quietly. "Don't go anywhere Hedwig. I have a quick letter to write and then I'll need you to deliver it for me." She hooted at him and then took a quick drink with an air of waiting about her. Sitting at his desk, Harry grabbed some parchment. He started to write out a quick note.

Tonks,

Wotcher! I'm writing to let you all know that I am doing ok. My uncle wanted me to write so that none of you end up coming by. Truthfully, I don't need his yelling if I do forget. I was wondering if you know when you, Remus, or Moody might be 'in the neighborhood' again. I wouldn't mind seeing a few friendly faces. As long as he Dursley's don't find out that is. That's about it I guess. Tell Remus I said "HI". Talk to you all later.

Harry

Folding up the letter and putting it in an envelope, he called Hedwig over. After telling her who the note was for and attaching it to her leg, he received a gentle nip on the ear and watched her fly off into the night sky. 'Heh, heh. Lets see what kind of response I get to that!' he thought amusedly.

Realizing exactly how tired he was, Harry decided to skip studying for the night and go staight to bed. Even though he despised the thought of resuming his lessons with Snape, he knew he wouldn't be able to get out of them. Therefore, he decided to try clearing his mind before he went to sleep each night in the hopes that he could improve how quickly he learned Occlumency and spend even less of his time with Snape. Upon completing his exercises, he laid down and quickly fell asleep to the worse dreams he had had since his first night back at the Dursley's.