Chapter 19 – How Did You Know?
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"She seems... okay." Lily said as they waited outside the hospital wing.
"She puts up a front." Remus shook his head. "It's the nights that will be the worst."
"Not only the nights. She's afraid to be alone." Sirius ran a hand through his hair, glancing at the closed doors. "I wanted to get Pomfrey when she woke up, but she didn't want me to go. She grabbed my wrist pretty forcefully for someone who just woke up." He turned to Remus. "Her eyes, Moony. I've never seen anyone so scared."
"What do we do now? Does she still have to marry Regulus?" James asked.
"I don't know." Remus frowned. Sirius felt something flare inside of him at the thought of the marriage. Especially now that he's seen how close they are. "Now that she's off-" He stopped abruptly. "We forgot about her birthday."
"When was it?" James asked. Before either Lily or Remus could answer, Sirius spoke up.
"April 3rd."
The door of the hospital wing opened again as Pomfrey came walking out. "You can go back in, just be quiet. I'm going to get her some food." She said before she walked away.
The four of them walked back in. They saw that her curtains were closed and when they stepped around it, Sirius stomach was in knots, and he was glaring at his little brother. They were both asleep, curled up into each other. Their foreheads were touching, and their hands were clasped together as they breathed in unison. Maybe she thought I was Reg when she calmed down from my touch. Sirius thought to himself as his hands turned into fists.
"Well, I think your brother beat you to it." James tried to say it as a joke.
"It's not like that." Remus snapped.
"Sure looks like it." Sirius grumbled. He tore his eyes away from the sleeping couple. "I'm going to the tower."
"Sirius."
"No, Moony. You don't know my brother. He doesn't have anyone in his life that truly cares about him except for me and her, and I've been a shit brother the past years. I won't come between them." He didn't wait for anyone to respond and walked out of the infirmary.
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A few hours later Izzie woke up. Remus was sitting on the chair next to her bed, reading his DADA book.
"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly as Reg was still asleep.
She combed her fingers through Regulus's hair with a smile. "I'm good." Her eyes flickered around the room. "Where's Sirius?"
Remus thought he saw a flicker of fear cross her eyes. "Yeah, about that." Remus frowned as he rubbed his neck. "He thinks you and Reg are... you know." He waved his hand over her.
"Just because I sleep with a man..." She sighed but chuckled lightly.
"I'll talk to him." Regulus had woken up and lifted his head.
"You don't need to explain yourself, Reg." Izzie said, and Remus agreed.
"I think it's time he knows." He said, pushing himself up until he was sitting against the iron bar of the bed-end.
"Knows what?" Remus choked out.
"That I prefer the company of men." He said dramatically, shooting Remus a wink. "We've been going in the right direction these past weeks." He said glancing at Izzie. Remus had seen the brothers talk more often than not since Izzie landed in the hospital wing. Maybe something good can come of something so tragic. "I think he'll be okay with it."
"I'm happy to hear you've been getting along." Izzie squeezed his hand before he engulfed her in a hug. Remus ears perked up when he heard familiar sound reach his ears. Definitely four paws trotting on the stone floors of the castle. Pads, the big black scruffy dog came trudging in and jumped on the bed across from Izzie. He laid down, narrowing his eyes on the hugging pair. He must not know that Regulus knew. When the hug went on too long for Sirius liking, he growled.
The pair sprung apart, looking to Remus, thinking it came from him. He rolled his eyes and nudged his head to the bed across from them. They both looked surprised to see him. Both of them hadn't really seen him like that up close.
"He's actually glaring." Reg whispered and Remus could hear the amusement in his voice. Reg wrapped his arm around Izzie and tucked her close. She knew what he was doing and played along easily. "He really is a mud, isn't he? How did he get in here?"
The growl Sirius did was even louder and more severe. "Oh, get a hold of yourself, Sirius." Regulus smirked. "I know it's you. Change back, will you." He waved his hand impatiently.
Padfoot's eyes turned comically large, especially on a dog and Remus held back a snicker. He eyed his brother for another moment until he changed back. He placed his feet on the iron bar below the end of the bed, leaning his arms on his knees.
"How did you know?" He asked, his eyes flickered between Reg and Izzie.
"I've known for a while." He shrugged. "I know your magic, Sirius. And I felt your magic when I spotted-" He turned to Remus. "How do you call him?"
"Padfoot."
"Padfoot going into the forest with wolfie Remus here."
Sirius paled severely at that. "You know about Moony?"
"I'm very observant, brother."
"I-I-" Sirius was lost for words, so shocked was he.
"I thought you left." Izzie interrupted softly. Remus saw her gaze on Sirius, her eyes were soft and vulnerable.
"I wanted to give you space." He said looking at his hands.
"About that -" Regulus took in a deep breath, making Sirius look at him worried. Izzie squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I love Isabelle, -" Sirius jaw twitched. "- but I'm not in love with her. I'm gay, Sirius."
It looked like he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut. He ran his hand through his hair, looking between him and Izzie. "You're gay?"
"As to my knowledge." Regulus sounded utterly bored; but Remus could see the fear of rejection in his eyes.
"You knew?" He asked Izzie.
She snorted. "Of course, I knew."
Sirius looked at Remus. And he thought, a little too late, he had better faked a shocked impression. "You knew! How did you know?"
"I - uhm -" He looked at Reg. He was sending him a look, then a faint smile. Remus's heart stammered fast in his chest as he looked back to Sirius. "I knew because he is my boyfriend."
"Your b-" He jumped up from the bed and started pacing the room. Everyone was watching him go back and forth letting him process the news. "How long?" He stopped pacing to ask that.
"Oh." Remus frowned thinking it over, looking at Reg for confirmation. "About six months, I think."
"Six months?! And you didn't tell me?!" He nearly screamed.
"Sirius!" Izzie snapped.
"It's okay, Iz." Remus gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "I told you I was seeing someone, a boy. It is not my place to out Reggie."
"No." Sirius eyes softened. "No, I guess you're right." He sat back down on the bed. "So, you're gay." He pointed at Remus. "And you're gay." His finger shifted to Regulus. "And you're a couple." They nodded. Sirius eyes went to Izzie. "And you? I had enough surprises tonight."
"I'm not." She chuckled.
"Good."
Remus almost laughed at the silly boyish grin he shot her. Then he was on his feet and walked over to his brother. Regulus slid off from the bed and stood up just in time as Sirius wrapped his arms around him. "I don't care that you're gay. Are you happy?" He asked pulling back.
Regulus smiled at Remus, which made his heart beat faster, before he turned back to his brother. "I am, extremely happy."
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The next few days Remus, Regulus and Lily were almost always by her side. She was still in the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey wanted to get her strength up first. She didn't mind them with her, they were her best friends, but her eyes always scanned their faces when they walked in, and it was never the one she so desperately wanted to see. Sirius was evasive again and she wasn't the only one who had noticed.
"Do you think he's avoiding us?"
Izzie turned his head to see Remus gently playing with Reggie's fingers. They were curled up in the bed next to her, behind them the window was filled with stars.
"I don't know." Regulus frowned. "I think it's more than that."
"It's me." Izzie spoke up and the boys startled. They must've thought she was asleep. "Isn't it?" She asked Regulus.
Regulus untied his hands from Remus's and climbed into bed with her. "I think he's afraid of hurting you. He was so afraid of just touching you."
"I'm not a fragile doll." She muttered. Regulus averted his gaze from her, and Remus shifted uncomfortably.
"Izzie, don't take this the wrong way." Remus started slowly. "But you did look like a broken doll when you arrived. You were lifeless, all bandaged up, barely breathing."
"That doesn't mean I'm going to break the second someone touches me. Sometimes I need -" She took a breath, not sure if she wanted to look so vulnerable. Screw it! It was Remus and Reg. "I need someone to hold on to me."
Remus was out of his bed and into hers in seconds. She didn't even see Regulus move away from his spot Remus just took. Remus's strong hands wrapped around her and held her tightly to his chest. And she instantly felt relaxed. She breathed out and sagged against him, but her arms wrapped around his waist firmly.
"I'll always hold on to you, Iz." She tried to fight her tears but the warmth and safety that's called Remus just broke down those walls. Remus just pulled her closer, caressing her hair softly. Remus only let her go when she was ready as she pulled back a little.
She gave him a watery smile. "I'll be back in the tower tomorrow, see that you two make time for each other."
"I think she's grown tired of us, Reg." Remus chuckled.
"No, it's not that." She fluttered her eyelashes excessively. "I think if I see your two handsome faces much longer, I will fall helplessly in love with you."
"Don't make Sirius hear that." Reg said seriously but his lips twitched.
Izzie eyebrows knit together as she fumbled with her fingers. "I don't know what to do with him."
"What do you mean?" Remus asked as Reg took a seat on the other side of her.
"I think we were growing closer to-" She blushed a little. "But now... I'm not in the right place for a relationship and I think the thing with Sirius is much more than that. It's too much, too soon."
Remus took her hands in his. "I think, and I know Sirius pretty well so don't argue with me, I think he'll wait."
"I don't want him to wait, I could never ask that." She shook her head. "We've never been more than friends."
"I know this situation isn't easy but think about what you want and what you need. And try to talk to Sirius about it once you know."
"I wish it was that easy." She said forlorn before she turned and closed her eyes.