Author's Note:
I injured myself yesterday. I went too fast on my bicycle, and the ground was full of fine dust (I was near a construction zone). I slipped, skidded, stopped, and suffered. So now I can't play DDR . . . Actually I could, but I'd be playing pansy 7 footers. No more Burning Heat or Cartoon Heroes for me . . . sigh.
I found another thing. FFnet won't let you put certain signs in your story. Things such as the dollar sign, the greater than sign, and the ampersand are all considered too luxurious for a mere writer like me. This is going to be one hell of a restriction, considering I have to do Tenten's l33t. Oh well, I guess you have to be a bit open minded from now on when you read the l33t (But it's not like you understand it right? If you do, then shame on you).
Also, when I came back and reread my story, I found a lot of errors. But when I go about trying to fix them, I would get into formatting issues with FFnet. I then proceed to give up after having cyber wrestled the document manager. So please bear with me if you see mistakes. I am really trying to fix them. It's just that FFnet won't let me.
Anyway, on with the show.
First Stage - "When do you play too much DDR? When AA no longer associates with battery size or alcohol."
"Um...Hokage-sama? Could you move a bit? You are kind of blocking the machine." Hinata suggested.
"Yeah, move your fat ass Obaa-chan!" Naruto was never was smart enough to see his own impending doom. Just you wait Naruto Uzumaki, just you wait..."Obaa-chan" will get her revenge...Tsunade moved off the machine, amidst thoughts of sending Team 7 to do some additional D level missions.
"Um...Arigato, for dancing with me. Let's both do our best." Hinata bowed to her opponent.
"Death...Decay...Pokemon...Slaughter..." Garaa never had a large vocabulary. The words he strings together consist of only the ones that forebode doom and death.
"Eeep!" Oh no! I'm facing Garaa of the Sand. I better not agitate him; I don't want to die!
Garaa stared at her. "Let's...Kill...start...Tear You To...dancing...Pieces..."
Hinata would have fainted, but Neji was here. She wouldn't want to disappoint her cousin and dishonor her Hyuuga name by fainting here. She would do her best, even if her opponent could kill her with a single thought. Best if I don't pick my best songs, I don't want to die!
"Match one, round two, Garaa of the Desert Storm vs. Hinata of the Akamaru, begin!"
"Ok...I pick Nori Nori Nori, on standard?" Hinata voiced her choice of songs.
"Song...too Happy...Die...Skewered on Stick..." and Garaa voiced his opinion on her choice of songs.
Apparently, Garaa doesn't like songs that are sappy and fluffy. Maybe he has diabetes? Who knows? All we know is that Garaa is in an even worse mood then he was before. Hinata definitely chose the wrong song.
Off to the Sideline (where everyone is a professional commentator)"Is it me, or is Garaa in a really really bad mood? You don't think he will resort to Shukaku do you?" Kankurou inquired about his younger sibling.
"Nah, Garaa won't get a chance to transform here. He's just like that because of the song." Temari, being the oldest of the three, obviously knows more about her brother than Kankurou does. "You see, when Kishimoto Mashashi decided on a ultra-powerful-insomniac-demon child to put into the manga, he had many ideas. So naturally, Kishimoto held an audition, to see who would get the part. Garaa showed up, hoping that he could land the role, because apparently, he was short on cash."
"Why would Garaa be short on cash? Doesn't he get paid more than what we get paid? He doesn't even sleep! That's how much saved on futons?"
"Yes, but that's only after he landed the role. Before that, I heard Garaa had some massive debt. The only reason that kept him from bankruptcy was because the collection agency all feared for their life, and no one wanted to risk the chance of dying by trying to collect money from Garaa. But eventually, even hunger overrode fear, as the collection agents had not received their paychecks for several months."
Suddenly, everywhere around Temari and Kankurou begins to fade out.
"What the hell is happening? Damnit!" Kankurou, surprised by the sudden change of scenery, cursed himself for not being prepared to handle enemy jutsus.
"Put that thing away before you poke someone's eyes out with it." Temari commanded her brother to retract Karasu. "It's not genjutsu, it's merely a technique on recounting certain events. Authors who use it seem to call it 'Flashback'."
FLASHBACK (And you thought you could get away from it)
It was a gloomy night. The sky was covered with dark clouds that looked liked rotten cotton candy. Rain, like an overflowing toilet, seeped out of the sky, pouring down Garaa's back. Back then, he was just Garaa, as he had not landed his position in Naruto. For three months, Garaa lived off of tofu that grew on it as much mold as that fungal infection between his feet. He wanted out. So, like a desperate bum in desperate need, Garaa sneaked into the audition center with enough stealth to shame even the most seasoned Splinter Ce-
"Alright we get it! Enough with the bad analogies!" Kankurou was covering both his and Karasu's ears.
Ok...So as I was saying, Garaa had more sneakiness than a celebrity dodging tabloid reporters-
"That's it! If you drag this flashback any longer, I'll personally come and rip your head off!"
Ahem...Ok...So Garaa- Wham! Ow! What the crap was that for? I swear to God I was continuing with the story! No more bad analogies! I swear! Damn ninjas, one of these days, I'm so making you a transvestite...
Anyway, Garaa, hungry and penniless, went into the audition, hoping he could land a job, any job, he'd even settle for being spectator number 7 in the Chuunin exam. Turns out though, Kishimoto really liked Garaa's powers, and he thought Garaa was perfect for the insomniac demon child. But there was one other person Kishimoto also liked. In the end, it was down to either Garaa of the Sand or John of the Rice Field.
"There was a ninja called John?" Kankurou raised his eyebrows.
"Well, the director wanted ethnic diversity. Can't have everyone being Asian, they needed some Caucasians." Temari shrugged.
You see, John was not a normal shinobi, like Garaa, John also had a demon forced into him when he was little. The demon Ukakuhs, a giant locust, was seeded inside John. John's cousin's aunt's next door neighbor's dog was also sacrificed in the completion of the ritual. So now the puppy's spirit resides in a giant Bento box, carried on John's back. As for techniques, John's were also top notch. The giant Bento box holds ample amount of rice, and it comes out of the box to protect John when he is in danger. This is called the Shield of Rice, and it moves regardless of John's will. Also, the rice could come on top of John's skin, forming a protective layer, called the Armor of Rice. From every angle, John looked liked the ultimate defensive shinobi.
Kishimoto really like John as well, since he'd been trying to find an excuse to put the Hidden Village of the Grass into action; and with John, he'd be able to do so.
"What about us though? Wouldn't we have to find a new teammate then?" Kankurou asked.
"Idiot, there were no "Us" to begin with. We are support characters, stupid. If John was hired, we'd be shinobis of the Grass."
"What? Are you serious?" The news apparently came as a shock to Kankurou. He thought his role was actually important.
"Yeah. If John was hired, I'd be swinging a sickle, and you'd be playing with one of those Japanese dolls instead of that mummified crap."
"But from your description, John could have matched Garaa on terms of ability no problem. So why wasn't he hired?"
"I haven't finished the story yet, sit still and listen will you?"
So as I was saying. John of the Rice Field could have matched Garaa any day, and it seemed that Kishimoto favored John. But everyone overlooked one problem. During the practice shoot for the Chuunin exam, Rock Lee's match, John went first. The scene played out just as it was supposed to, with Gai showing his comical act and Rock Lee displaying his amazing Kung Fu. But just as John activated his Armor of Rice, something weird happened; John fell over and died. Apparently, since John's demon, Ukakuhs, was a large insect, and insects breathe through their skin, covering John's skin with sticky rice was not a good move. So under 5 minutes, John killed Ukakuhs, took away his own Chakra, and died himself. And that's how Garaa landed his position.
"But what does this have to do with Garaa's mood now?"
"Well, Garaa never recovered from the almost-rejection he received, so whenever he sees rice, his memories of the earlier days resurface. Nori stands for a type of riceballs. So no wonder Garaa is pissed."
"Ah, that makes sense."
FLASHBACK END (Of course we need a indicator to tell when the flashback sequence ends. The readers are obviously too stupid to tell the past from the present)
So, as everything fades back into the "right" colors, Temari and Kankurou (and Karasu, remember, I can't play favorites with any character, have to mention them all) turned their attention back to the match.
"Ever since you lost to Barky, how much are we behind by again?" Kankurou never wasted a chance to rub Temari's failures in her face.
"Shut up, I didn't know we could use soldier pills. Damn Leafs and their crappy rules."
"But seriously, if we are down by a lot, how are we going to catch up with them?"
"Don't worry, I've already told Garaa what he should play next. We are down by about 600 points, but if Garaa plays like how I told him to, we'll catch up in no time. Besides, I've told him to release some of that killing intent that he's been saving up."
On the Platform .... of DOOM!Hinata thought she did pretty well. Nori Nori Nori wasn't her best song, but she only received 3 boos and 1 miss. That shouldn't hurt her team at all, consider the huge lead they have. All in all, Hinata was pretty happy with herself. In fact, Hinata was so happy with herself, she mustered enough courage to look over to her left.
"What the hell? AAA? That's impossible!" Kiba shouted, down in the resting area.
"..." Shino wonders how valid that score was.
"Yeah! I thought if a person was too high above the normal curve, he has to be taken out of his division!"
"Well, Nori Nori Nori on standard was only 5 feet. AAAing a 5 feet song for a Trickster only means that he is one of the better competitors. So tally up the points, and on to the next song."
Hinata's confidence dropped like the U.S. currency exchange rate. There was no way she could beat someone that's capable of getting AAA on the song she chose. Man, was she going to be in trouble.
"...Murder...Pika...Pika...I...Choose...Sync....Heavy..."
Kankurou never thought Temari would tell Garaa to do something like this. "No way, that's way too high for a Trickster. An 8 feet song? What did you tell him?"
"..." Shino would like to ask the judge to remove Garaa from his division.
"Yeah, and you said I cheated! You people put your best player in Trick, what's up with that? Can't beat so you cheat?" backing up his insect-friendly teammate, Kiba also requests that Garaa be removed.
"Wait, Tsunade-sama. Before you make you ruling, consider this. Sync is one of the easiest, if not the easiest 8 feet song ever. Some people even question why they gave Sync such a high rating." Temari stated her case. "If you take this into consideration, then it isn't weird for a Trickster to choose Sync. Because it's just too easy."
"Well, she does have a point..." And I really don't want Garaa killing every single people here." I'll let it go this time." Apparently, the massive amount of sand covering everyone was a big determining factor.
"See Kankurou, nothing to worry about." And you wonder why Temari always has that smirk on her face.
"Yeah, great job, why don't you just have Garaa threaten everyone and then take the prize money too?"
"Well, I thought about it, but that Naruto kid is here, and he beat the jizznit out of Garaa last time. If Garaa threatened everyone, then there is a good chance that boy will try to beat up Garaa again. Being the protective big sister that I am, I could never let something like that happen to our little brother."
"Yeah, so instead, you use him to threaten some other team that had no chance of fighting back?"
"Well...yeah. What else was I suppose to do? Listen, do you want the money or not? If you do, then quit complaining. They won't have a chance against Garaa."
Now Hinata is really flustered. She wasn't prepared to take on a 8 feet song. She just can't read the arrows like her teammates, and she also forgot to bring Solider Pills. What is she going to do?
"..." Shino suggests that Hinata activate her Byakuugan.
That might work! Why didn't I think of that before? If I activate Byakuugan, I could just look at Garaa's steps and follow what he does! Hinata was relieved. Maybe she won't fail after all.
Back to Ninja Bench
"What did Shino tell her?" Naruto wondered. It's not usual for that weird girl to be so calm, especially if you take the Chuunin exam as an example.
"I don't know, he was too quiet, I didn't hear him properly." Sakura responded "Why don't you just watch, maybe you'll see what she does?"
"OK, Sakura-chan!" Big toothy grin, check.
"I'm pretty sure she is going to activate Byakuugan." Kakashi actually took his eyes off of that NC-17 book for once.
"What, she is going to use those weird eyes?" Dumb as a brick, check.
"Yeah, I think it's because she needs the 360 degree vision."
"How will that help if she still sucks?" Good job, real smooth.
"Baka." Sakura never wastes a chance to remind Naruto of his lack of mental abilities. "If she sees Garaa's movements, then all she needs to do is follow him. If she follows closely, then she'll get a good score."
"That wouldn't work." Sasuke spoke voluntarily for the first time in the past hour. "Didn't you watch? Garaa is not normal" said Sasuke, while at the same time trying to fend off Sakura, who apparently thought that she and Sasuke must be meant for each other since he spoke right after she did.
"What makes you think you know everything Sasuke?" That bastard, making me looks bad in front of Sakura-chan again.
"If you had paid attention, then you would have noticed that Garaa never leaves the center of the pad, idiot."
And indeed. No wonder Garaa could AAA a song that he had never played before. I mean, he's only human, he shouldn't be able to do something like that. However, the sand in his gourd is definitely not human, not even if it contains the soul of his dead mother. As Garaa stands in the middle of the metal pad, the sand creeps out of his gourd and hangs in mid-air, awaiting Garaa's instructions. When the song starts, Garaa then moves the sand according to his will, and it pounds on the corresponding steps.
"Wow, no wonder he can AAA that song. It seems like he might be able to AAA this one too." Lee was impressed by Garaa's technique, though it was the same one that almost made him kicked the bucket.
"Well, since it does take less time for Garaa's thoughts to reach his sand than it does to move his legs, all Garaa needs to do is to read the arrows properly and think about hitting it on the right time. I wouldn't be surprised if those Perfects were actually Marvelous."
"tH47 ch1XXOR 1Z pWN3d." (Hinata has indeed landed herself into a predicament) Tenten turned around. "jOo WH173 3y3 5hy73 12 PhuXor3D." (Your prized Byakuugan eyes are not doing as well as they should)
"Quiet, you will not insult my clan. Do not let such despicable person represent the might of the Hyuuga."
"wh473V3r d00D." (Your funeral Neji)
It looks like Shino's plan backfired. Apparently no one on team Akamaru noticed Garaa's playing style. Everyone was too busy cheering for Hinata. Now Hinata's activated Byakuugan is draining her chakra continuously, and she can't even imitate Garaa's steps, simply because he is not stepping at all.
"Crap crap crap crap crap! We are getting slaughtered here. Didn't they say that Sync was an easy song? Hinata is dying out there!" Kiba was never one for euphemisms.
"..." Shino says that there is a fundamental difference between songs on standard and songs on heavy. "..." Shino elaborates how in standard mode, there are almost no crossovers; sequences such as Right Down Left are almost nonexistent.
"I see what you mean. When Garaa chose heavy, he knew that Hinata cam't twist her body accordingly, so her PA will suffer...that bastard. This is not good."
"..." Shino says that Kiba had made a precise observation. "..." Shino also says that it is not a problem, Shino himself will just have to make up for the lost points on the next round.
"I don't doubt your dancing skills, but can even you pull us back up? Hinata just got a C. She almost scored us negative points man. Now they have a 200 something point lead on us."
"..." Shino says don't worry about it, he will just have to play a tough song that's all.
"If you say so man..."
Back on Stage Again (where making fun of yourself is considered entertainment)
Finally, last song. Please Kami-sama, let this be something I'm familiar with. But on that day, Kami-sama had already accepted a sacrificial goat from team Desert Storm.
"Last song, determined by Roulette, is R3, played on Shuffle. Players, you may begin."
"..." Shino says, oh crap.
"What, what? It's R3, it might not be Hinata's favorite, but it's not that hard."
"..." Shino says look closer. Apparently, both players are playing the song on Heavy, again.
"What? That's not fair! Hokage-sama! What's going on? Why are they on Heavy?"
"It seems that since the last game was played on Heavy, and Trick players can't change their mods, so the next song is also played on Heavy. We'll change the ruling after this. But this game has already started; we can't stop it now. Besides, it's only R3, a 7 footer. I'm sure Hinata can handle herself. She is strong."
"I don't know, Hinata may be a strong girl, but can she really handle R3 on heavy?" Shikamaru spoke for the first time, having finally awakened from his nap. I hate rule changes. I have to calculate everything all over again. How troublesome.
Munch munch. "But R3 is an easy song, isn't it? The radar display for it isn't even as big as some of the other songs." Munch munch.
"That may be true Chouji, but R3 has a little bit of everything that Standard players fears. Chaos notes, crossovers, double steps, and even some short streams. And since the song was released pretty early, I'm not too sure how accurate the foot rating actually is."
"It doesn't matter, as long as Desert Storm doesn't win, I'm happy. I'd hate to go against Garaa. Go Hinata! Show him your full combo!"
You are not in Trick woman. I'd have to go against Garaa, not you. Sighhh...talk about troublesome.
On Stage Again (we never seem to stay on stage for long)
Garaa looked over to his right. The little white-eyed girl seems to squirm under his intensive stare. "Revenge...Death...I...Win!"
From what little she could understand, Garaa wanted retribution against the Leaf shinobi. I can't run away, my teammates are depending on me. Neji-san is also watching. I can't.... Thud. Hinata dropped to the floor like your mom's rock hard brownies. The Byakuugan took away too much Chakra, that, coupled with Garaa's immense killing intent, Hinata fainted on the metal pad.
"Hurry, get a Medic-nin here! I think she suffered from Chakra drainage." Good job Mr. Obvious.
While bunch of people busied themselves around Hinata, Garaa played on as if nothing had happened. His sand didn't care about crossovers or streams. To him, all the combinations of arrows were all the same, and he promptly AAAed his third song.
At The Gathering Place of Bench Warmers
"This is really really really bad. Not only did Hinata faint, but we are also trailing by almost 750 points! Did I mention that this is bad?" Kiba was really worried now. "And given that normal freestylers can score around 400 to 500 points, they'll be leading by over a thousand points!"
"..." Shino wonders what song Barbie Boy will play.
"Does it still matter? Can you pull a song that can give us over a thousand points?"
"..." Shino says yeah, he'll just pull 'That' song.
"What? This early into the competition?"
"..." Shino says that there are no other choices now.
At Team Gangsta
"Yes! Ownage!" Kankurou was sure that they've won this round. "I could play on Light mode on the next song and still kick their asses."
"I don't know, that creepy guy with shades doesn't look worried at all. Maybe he has some kind of backup plan?"
"Oh come on, we are leading by what, over 700 points? What can they possibly do now?"
"... I don't know, better not risk it. You are going to play Witch Doctor for your song. I'm not taking any chances."
"What? Are you crazy? I'm not playing Witch Doctor now! That's a waste of my best song. I'll play something else with higher step counts if you are so worried."
"Alright, just make sure you don't die PA wise."
"Just watch."
As Kankurou is about to come out of the spectator area, Garaa walks back in, with not a single droplet of perspiration on his body.
"Good job Garaa, you did us proud. Wish me luck on the next round."
".........." Fwap, the sand snapped across the air, and wrapped itself around Kankuro.
"I mean! .....Death...Doom.....Blood....Vengeance! Yeah....that's what I meant! Decay....Dying....Dying...Suffocating....."
Garaa finally released his hold on Kankuro. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he must have recognized what Kankurou's string of death related words meant. Kankurou took this time to slip himself on stage, trying to go as far as possible from Garaa's mom.
"That crazy bitch never did liked me..."
At Team AkamaPoo
"..." Shino says don't worry, the medic-nins are already taking care of Hinata.
"It's not Hinata I'm worried man; I know she can take care of herself. I'm more worried about you having your ass handed to you."
"..." Shino says you should worry more about what you are going to play next.
"Alright players, are you ready? This is your last round of the match. Kankurou of the Desert Storm, please step up to the machine. Remember, only Perfects count in Freestyle. For the first set of matches, we are only going to have 2 judges. You will receive a score on a scale of 0 to 100 from each judge, and that score is going to be added to your step total."
"I get it, not stupid here. Hurry up and let me choose the song already." Kankurou has waited an entire 5 minutes for his round, and his limited attention span will allow him to wait no longer. Kankurou pressed the "coin" button twice, and selected Doubles on the mode screen.
Now since we are near the end of this chapter, and like every good writer, I will now take the time to give you some useless information about a character and deprive you the joy of finding out what happened next. What? You think that I'm just stalling for time and upping my word count? No way! I'm giving my characters personalities! I'm spending time here trying to add depth to these two-dimensional characters damn it!
So like I was saying, one look at Kankurou, and you can tell what kind of a person he is. I mean, what kind of a boy carry a doll with him everyday? Gay ones that's what. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against fairies...I mean...iso-gender-prefrences, what you do behind doors is your business, and it's even legal in Canada. But excuse me if I'm wrong, I have always thought the Japanese frowned upon such fragrant displays of homosexuality. So it's no wonder when Kankurou picked Love Love Shine and begins to prance around with his doll in his arms, the general audience all re-tasted what they had for breakfast.
But even though the act itself was gay, literally, Kankurou's techniques were very efficient. First of all, his choice of songs provided him with a maximum of 210 steps. That's a possibility of 630 points, not counting the scores from the judges. Secondly, Love Love Shine is a well known song among the fangirls. Picking it early on will deprive other fangirl players the opportunity of scoring big later on. Lastly, Kankuro has a doll that he can control with Chakra. That's another pair of legs. With four legs, and occasionally some hands for hand plants, playing on doubles has just gotten a whole lot easier.
"Not bad, not bad at all." The first judge, one of the three legendary senin, Jiraiya commented. "I liked the fact that you had Karasu dancing simultaneously with you on stage. It showed excellent control of Chakra and your own body. However, you messed up a bit in the beginning, that bit will cost you a little. All in all, it's pretty good. I give you an 87."
"Eeeu Zuuhkd." ("You sucked.") And the second judge blatantly stated. "Aiehhgy Too!" ("82!") The other legendary senin, Orochimaru, can only speak so much, since he has had his tongue hanging out of his mouth for so long, it was now hard for him to retract it.
"Doesn't matter, I still got 166 Perfects, that's 498 points. Add 87, add 82, that's 667! We are now over 1400 points in front!" And Kankurou pranced some more. Temari also came down to the stage and pranced together with Kankurou. Garaa would have came, but he still knew what the word shame meant.
"Alright, clear off the stage! We still have another player that haven't went yet!"
Shino barely took notice of the frolicking, instead, he just calmly walked up to the machine, positioned himself, and held down the two yellow arrow keys. Once in the alphabet menu, he scrolled all the way down to the letter P, hits enter once, and scrolled down some more. Finally, he stopped at one particular song. The noise level of the crowd, which had been so high before, dropped to a mere whisper, enabling everyone to hear what Shino said next.
"This is my song, Paranoia Survivor Max, Oni mode."
How will Shino beat one of the toughest songs ever produced by Konami? Find out that and more in the next chapter: Brains over Brawns!
Author's Note:
Yes! I have mastered the technique called Cliffhanger! My awesomeness at this technique will enable me to rule the world! Mwahahaha!
Though I found that place an appropriate one to end it. This chapter was the longest I have ever written. I guess I'll get started on the next one. I want to finish the DDR arc and begin something else.
Team Info:Team Akamaru
Name: Inuzuka Kiba
Tag: KIBA
Best Song: Paranoia KCET (clean mix)
Division: Maniac
PA: 65
Stamina: 72
Reflex: 86
Knowledge: 27
Overall: 81
Name: Hyuuga Hinata
Tag: HINA
Best Song: Ever Snow
Division: Trick
PA: 64
Stamina: 51
Reflex: 62
Knowledge: 79
Overall: 51
Name: Aburame Shino
Tag: BUGS
Best Song: Genom Scream
Division: Freestyle
PA: 116
Stamina: 93
Reflex: 81
Knowledge: 158
Overall: 99
Team Description: Underestimation will be the downfall of anyone facing Team Akamaru. They may not look like much, but this ragtag bunch of ninjas is great on the dancer floor. Besides, Shino doesn't come with an Afro for nothing. But can Bug Boy's one-man freestyle act generate enough points to put Team Akamaru into the finals? Only the judges (and time) can determine that.