Chapter Two
I open my eyes and look up at the white ceiling. My room looks like a hospital room. Maybe that's because it is. I roll off the cot and look around the cold, impersonal room. The only proof you have that someone lives here is the Masamune that I'm training with in the corner, a regular sword that I'm pretty good with laying beside it, and all my clothes in the closet. Other than that, it's hard to tell that this isn't an unoccupied room. The window's open and the curtains are blowing slightly with a polluted breeze. I close the window. I hate the fresh air. It's like it's tormenting me, reminding me of life outside these ShinRa walls, life that I've never seen and will never get to see. I look around my room. No wrapped boxes, no cakes. I'm not surprised. I only had birthdays when I was a kid. My last birthday had been my tenth. Then Mom had died, and Hojo didn't like birthdays anyway. Maybe I had hoped for something today because today was supposed to be special. I guess nothing was special anymore, really.
Today was my sixteenth birthday.
"I've survived," I said aloud to myself. I didn't feel any different, turning sixteen. I thought about all the other sixteen year olds across the world, getting their cars and learning how to drive. It didn't matter if I could drive or not, since I'd never get to leave these labratory walls. Hojo, whom I hardly even considered my father anymore, would probably keep me here as his 'strongest specimen' until the day I died. What a life to look forward to. I report to one of the workers for breakfast. They give it to me and I hand them an old book in change for a newer one. This was how I learned of the world outside of me...through textbooks that some of the nicer people smuggled into me. It didn't matter too much. Hojo didn't mind me studying. That made me stronger too. I almost wanted to stop after that, but my desire to learn about the world I could never see kept me reading. I was hooked and couldn't stop. After breakfast I walked down to the same room that I'd received shots in since my third birthday. There was no use in rebelling anymore...it only brought more pain.
I'd also devoloped an addiction to the shots. No, I hadn't...my body had. This wasn't just in my mind. Addictions were just in your head, your mind telling you you needed them. Withdrawl was the effect of an addiction, in most cases. I hated the shots, so I really didn't have the addiction...I knew I didn't need them...but my body felt that I did. My body was addicted, and it went through withdrawls of the worst type. One time, when I was fifteen, I'd locked myself in a bathroom and refused to take my shots. Hojo got mad, but just let me do my own thing. It wasn't six hours later and I'd come out, begging for them. My body couldn't live without the strange pink fluids it was so used to. I'd felt sick, suddenly couldn't breathe, threw up, the 'imagination' going wild and screaming at me. Hallucinations of death, voices shreiking at me, my body shaking...it wasn't an experience I'd ever cared to have again. I just went and got them. Besides, I could handle them now. I could even watch Hojo give them to me without feeling sick. He was busy this morning, so he didn't waste any time getting them to me. After that I reported to the only real teacher I had, one who was teaching me how to fight with a sword.
I enjoyed the fights I had with my sensei, but even they were losing their fun. The only challenge left was endurance. I had the skills down, the power, everything...the Masamune was just too heavy. I hadn't quite been able to get used to it yet. I would, someday, though. So far I'd been the only person who'd had any luck learning how to use it. I wished this was good enough to please Hojo. Sadly, nothing probably ever would be.
My sensei sighs after we finish our sparring. I don't think he liked me much, either. Mom had been the only person who did, and she was dead. "There's nothing left for me to teach you, really. And...I've kind of got to cut lessons short today. However," he said, "you've been studying the Ancients, right?"
"The Cetra? Yeah, why?" I frown.
"Well, they've got a real, live Ancient in the lab over there. You should go check it out."
I didn't really like the way they were talking about the person. I know how it feels to be a specimen, and really didn't feel that they deserved to be talked about as if an object. I wasn't one to argue with my teacher, though.
"Alright. I guess I will," I shrugged.
"Lab C," he calls, and I walk towards it boredly. Hopefully, Hojo won't mind me watching. He doesn't seem to. He wants me to be strong, but I think deep down he wouldn't mind if I took a liking in science like he did. I didn't even want to, not after seeing his effect on the world. I looked in the window, watching as Hojo talked to the girl. She's pretty, I think to myself. She looks about my age, too. Maybe a little younger. You didn't really see people like that often around here--everyone around here was always older than me. The youngest person here was an intern, and he was 22. The youngest girl was about 30. I don't think I'd ever talked to anyone my age. This Cetra girl...she has long brown hair, and nice green eyes. Maybe I'll talk to her later. I kind of feel bad for her...she's scared, but trying not to show it. I know that look. It's one I often see in the mirror in Lab B, one that used to come from me, before I decided not to be afraid anymore. I watch Hojo with dislike. He doesn't seem to be giving her any shots, which is good, but keeps asking her something she doesn't seem to know the answer too. Eventually he jumps up, shoves her off the table, and leaves. She obviously isn't expecting this shove, otherwise she would have gripped the table and braced herself so that she wouldn't fall. And even if falling was part of the plan, she would have angled herself so that she wouldn't have hit her head like she did. I walk into the supply closet across the hallway and grab an ice pack before I walk in. She's still sitting in the floor, looking close to tears. She has her hand over her head where she must have hit it at. Not sure what to say, I gently remove her hand and press the ice pack against her head. She looks up at me, seeming more than a little surprised.
"Are you...are you here to ask me what they're saying too?" she asks, voice faint.
"No. I'm one of their specimen too," I inform her, wanting her to know we're in the same boat. I'm not looking to make any enemies.
"Are you a Cetra?"
"Halfway," I smile slightly. "My mother, Jenova--"
I stop. Jenova. I still like to think of her as my 'imagination'. It gives me a sense of security, somehow. Why had I just called her my mother? She's speaking to me, in the back of my mind, but I'm too busy thinking to listen to what she's saying. Jenova was a Cetra...and the pink injections Hojo had always given me were Jenova cells. In a way, I was sort of a Cetra, because Jenova was a part of me. But why did I just think of her as my mother?
"Er..." I pause, not sure how to get the words out. The girl blinks, but sees my distress and conjures up another smile.
"My name is Aeris," she introduces herself, changing the subject. "Who are you?"
"Specimen 5224 of Project Jenova," I answer. This is the answer that Hojo has taught me to say, since that's all anyone in the lab ever needs to know. Aeris looks taken aback, then giggles.
"You're funny," she laughs. "Seriously! What's your real name?"
It felt funny that someone, after six years, actually wanted to know my real name. The name my mother, my mother Lucrecia, not Jenova, had given me.
"My name is Sephiroth," I say, the word feeling funny in my mouth, as if part of a foreign language that I'd studied just a little a long time ago, and forgotten.
"Sephiroth," Aeris repeats. "That's a nice name."
"Thank you," I answer, wondering if this is normal conversation for people my age. "I like your name too."
She looks at me as if I've suddenly sprouted horns. I feel stupid, and have no idea what to say to redeem myself. I can almost taste the awkwardness in the air.
"Thank you," she says, sounding awkward herself. "So, where are you from? I live in Sector 6 of Midgar."
"Under the plate?" I ask, and she nods. I've studied a bit about that, in the libraries. It's supposed to be good or whatever, but I get the idea it's not all it bites out to be. She's still silent, waiting on my answer. I'm not sure how to explain myself. "I'm from...um...here," I say, feeling stupid as ever. "I've never really left the labratories, as far as I know."
"You were born here?" Aeris looks shocked. "And you live here? You've never left?"
"Not that I remember," I shake my head, and feel like I should inform her of the reason for my lack of things to say to her. "You're actually the first person I've met that looks remotely close to my age."
"How old are you?" she asks.
"Today's my sixteenth birthday," I answer. She looks very somber, and I wonder what her problem is. I hope I don't sound like I'm pitying myself. I'm not. I'm just stating a fact...or so I thought...
"You've lived sixteen years and never left the walls of this place?"
"Yeah," I nod. "And you...how old are you?"
"Fifteen," she says in response to my question. "Going on sixteen."
"Well, hopefully you'll be out of here by your birthday."
"I still have a few months," she smiles at me, and I feel funny. I blame this on a mixture of the shots and the awkwardness ot talking to her. "They won't keep me that long. It was part of the agreement."
I feel bad for her. There's no such thing as a bargain with the ShinRa scientists that any of them will uphold their side of. She'll just have to learn the hard way, I suppose.
"Hojo...the man talking to you...hates weak people. Always try and not be afraid. Be strong."
"You understand," she looks up at me. "I just...he wanted me to tell him what they were saying...and I can't always hear them..."
I feel like I should hug her or something, but I'm not sure she'd like that, so I refrain from doing anything at all.
"He's kind of violent, too," I warn her. "Anytime he starts to get angry, either hold on tight or brace yourself," I warn her, looking down at the ice pack that I was still holding against her head. I'd forgotten about it. The cold had numbed my hand, and it was the last thing on my mind in a moment like this. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," she smiles. "Espically after your first aid help."
I wonder if she's being sarcastic. I mean, I know she is, but I wonder if she's making fun of me or not.
"Lighten up," she laughs. "I don't mean anything by it."
"Okay," I smile a little, which makes her smile. I like her smile. Sadly, she probably won't be smiling much, not as long as she's here. I hear footsteps and stand up, taking the ice pack with me. Ice packs are signs of weakness, and I wouldn't want him to catch Aeris with one. "That might be him. I probably should go."
"Oh. Okay. Will you come back and visit me, Sephiroth?"
I nod. I like talking to her.
"Where are you gonna be at?" she asks.
"Um, around...if I'm not in Lab B then I'm probably in my room, 36," I tell her, then open the door to walk out. "Bye, Aeris."
"Bye, Sephiroth!"
I barely make it out of the room and down two steps to the window looking into Lab C when Hojo stops me.
"What's the ice for, Sephiroth?" he frowns. He's the only person who remembers I have a name, but I'd just prefer it if he'd call me 5224.
"I tripped and hit my head, and decided I'd use this to---"
I shut up, knowing about how long I could make an excuse before he went crazy on me. This was the limit. He glared at me. I doubted he could tell I was lying--he wasn't a very good judge of that. Luckily. I didn't want Aeris to get in trouble. I fake a gulp to look scared. He's the only thing I'm supposed to fear. Sometimes this isn't hard. Fire's burning in his eyes as he advances towards me. I try not to back down. I don't want to be afraid of him, I don't...
"You gonna duck?" he practically hisses at me. "Too afraid to take a blow?"
I stare straight at him. Dodging his attack had been part of the plan, but not now. I didn't want him to have the glory of my fear. The bastard didn't deserve it. So I just stare at him as he grabs my almost-waist length white-haired ponytail and yanks it, jerking my head back. He grabs the hair on the top of my head next and gets a good grip, smashing my head into the wall. I wince. I just can't stop myself. Hojo smirks and shoves me to the ground.
"There's a reason to use an ice pack," he says with a sick pleasure in his voice, sauntering off. Dark, crimson blood drips onto the white shirt I'm wearing. I knew I should have worn the black one this morning. I pinch my nose to stop the bleeding and walk over to the nearest water fountain, washing the blood out of my mouth. It doesn't stop easily. I couldn't remember the remedy to make it stop, either. Rinse your mouth out with salt water? I didn't know...Mom had taught me once, but I could hardly remember... I probably looked like an idiot, running around with my nose pinched with bloodstains everywhere, probably leaking blood when I spoke...damn it...I start walking back to my room, but somebody's knocking on the window of Lab C as I walk by it. Aeris. Damn. I hadn't wanted her to see me looking like this, either. I ignore her and keep walking, deciding just to apologize later. Hopefully she'd understand. If not...well...I'd survived sixteen years without a friend and probably didn't need one now. I made it to my room, head spinning a little. I glance at the clock...it's noon...I swear under my breath again, knowing what this means. Shots. I look at the Masamune in the corner and wonder why I put up with this shit daily. I can't bring myself to do it...everytime I even think about it, my 'imagination' goes crazy. I hate that even worse, so I drag myself down to Hojo's office.
"Why should I give these to you?" he asks, twirling the shot full of the blessed pink fluid that brought both relief and pain to me. "What have you done to deserve these, dear son?"
I hate it when he calls me that.
"Please," I force the word out.
"Tell me you love me," he laughs.
I hate his twisted mind games.
"I love you," I say, emotionlessly. I don't love him. I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone anymore.
"Say it like you mean it," he teases, and when he realizes that's one wish I'll never succumb to, he pokes the needle into me, a little harder than usual. I wince, but don't cry out in pain. I should have expected that. "Now leave," he yells. I drag myself back down to my room, not wanting to get blood all over my white sheets. I don't know why it matters, and the more I think about it, the crazier the notion becomes. I lay down, hoping I'd completely stopped bleeding now. I had locked the door even though Hojo probably had a key. As a latter thought, I had shoved my desk in front of it. I didn't feel safe, but at least with the desk in front of the door, I was able to let my eyelids close and succumb to sleep.
A/n: The other day I found myself wondering…what's the age difference between Aeris and Sephiroth? I went and got my instruction booklet out of the shoebox that I keep all my instruction booklets in (I have a bad tendency to lose them) and read through, and of course his age is unknown ; So I tried to guess…but I'm a horrible age-guesser. I mean, if I were one of those people who guessed your age at a theme-park, people would be lining up to see me 'cause I'm always wrong. So then I thought about fanfics I'd read, and how Vincent ended up being his father in most of them…but Vincent's age was only 27! And since I didn't think Sephiroth was anywhere close to the age of, y'know, 9 or 10 during the game, I just assumed that it wasn't really that important of a fact and I'd wait for some FF7 guru to tell me just how old Sephiroth is -
I don't own any of this. But wouldn't it be cool if I did? Kudos to Squenix!
Um…thanks for reading! Please stick with this…I'm rather fond of this story and it wouldn't be much fun if I was the only one .
Love and peace,
Xifa