Chapter 9: Material Girl
It was at 5:45 the next morning three weeks later that I decided that today was the day. I pulled on my black jeans and pink Trainspotting shirt and thought about how J.T. and I had been going out happily for a month, I had friends, but I still wasn't happy. I went to my bureau and pulled out one of the drawers and turned it over and counted the pills inside, found out I had 50. I placed them in a bag; put the bag in my backpack, ran downstairs to get a can of Red Bull, and walked out to my car. I pulled up and parked and walked into Degrassi.
"Hey, babe." J.T. comes up and puts his arm around my waist and kisses my cheek.
"Hey. Did you have a good time with Toby last night?"
"Yeah... I missed you more though."
"Aw... I missed you too. I went to bed at, like, 7:30 last night, I was so tired."
J.T. kisses my cheek and says, "I have to ask Paige something about tomorrow. I'll talk to you later." He kisses my cheek and walks away. I lean against my locker and sigh happily.
"I guess you're happy." I turn to my left and see Marco looking sad.
"What's wrong?"
"Dylan's transferring to the University of Toronto, so that means I'll get to see him less and less."
I give Marco a hug and say, "even if Dylan's leaving, it doesn't mean he's gonna forget about you, okay? So stop worrying about it!" He hugs me back. I shut my locker and run to the bathroom.
I lay every pill out and take them two at a time. By the time I'm done, it's time for homeroom to start. I run out of the bathroom and take 3 ballet leaps into the air and I'm there on time.
"Impressive," A voice behind me says, I turn around and it's Craig. "Did you dance before?"
I ignore him.
"Delia, please talk to me." I turn around in my seat and stare at him but don't say a word. I get up to leave when class ends, I feel sort of woozy. I head to my locker and get my Biology notebook and Craig is there.
"Craig, please leave me alone."
"Delia, I want us to be friends."
"You don't understand how you hurt me, Craig."
He grabs my arm and says, "I want to, Delia! Why must you hide yourself from all of us?"
"Leave me alone. I have to get to class." I wiggle my arm out of his grasp and walk away.
I go to Biology and since I'm the first one there, I pull out my song notebook and look at the song I wrote before and add to it.
'I opened the fire door to four lips
None of which were mine
Kissing
Pack my belt around my hips
Where your hands were missing
Step out into the cold
Collar high under the sleep-ridden sky
Everyone was smoking, the streets were dry
And I wasn't joking when I said goodbye
There were
Magazine quality men
Talking on the corner
French, no less, much lesser then than us
So why do I feel like- feel like
Something's been re-rearranged
You know, taken out of context
I must seem so strange
I killed a
Cockroach so big
It left a puddle of pus on my wall
When you and I are lying in bed you don't
You don't you don't seem so tall
And I'm singing now
Because my tear ducts are too tired
And my
Mind is disconnected but my
Heart is wired'
"Hey!" I jump and scream lightly. Sean Cameron is sitting next to me.
"You scared me." 'What is he doing?' I think. 'He's never spoken a word to me, what does he want?'
"I just wanted to say Hi. I've just wanted to talk to you since you're friends with my girlfriend."
"Oh... right."
"So, I'll see you later, I guess."
"Yea, later." I feel dizzy as J.T. sits down next to me. "Hi J.T."
"Hi babe! Um... did you do your homework?"
"Yes, and you can copy if you want to." I say, handing it to him and becoming woozy. 'I feel like I'm going to pass out,' I think. 'finally, I can leave this earth and be alone and be away from everyone and everything.' I raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom.
When I'm in the hallway, Craig comes out of Mr. Armstrong's room just as I pass it.
"Delia?"
"What?"
"Are you okay? You're walking funny."
I am so dizzy, I'm not surprised, but I turn around. "have you ever had that voice in the back in your head who tells you not to do something? Your conscience, I think it's called. Well, I heard that talking to me while I was in the bathroom... when I was..."
"When you were what?" then, I blacked out.