Disclaimer: Flibble schnabble. I don't own them, never will. But I can always hold them hostage and torture them…until the men in white coats come.
Notes & Warning: This chapter has disturbing flashbacks, so read on if you think you can handle it.
Note to Saturn's Angels: I've never heard of Dante's Inferno…o.o heh heh Chapter Two Shuichi stares up at the counselling angels' office block, and feels so small and intimidated that he wants to run away, but is sealed firmly to the spot he stands on.
'You'd think they'd make this place more welcoming,' he mutters, gulping and opening the door. He steps inside, and is welcome to a homely atmosphere before being mowed down by a green haired boy in a great hurry.
He lands on the floor heavily, and finds that even though he is dead, he can still feel pain. And the fact that the boy has landed on top of him.
'Oh! I'm ever so sorry!'
Purple eyes meet brown and Shuichi notices that the boy must be about fourteen, maybe even younger.
'Its okay.'
The boy helps Shuichi to his feet and smiles; 'You're new here. I don't spend much time in second hell, but I know a new face when I see one. I'm Suguru.'
'You're an angel?' Shuichi asks, unable to hold back the surprise.
'Ah, just an ordinary run of the mill angel. Not a snobby counselling one. Or an ArchAngel. I know I look young, but I'm far older than you,' he says the last bit menacingly, leaning into Shuichi.
'Eh? Oh. Er- sorry. Eto…I'm Shindou Shuichi.' He bows. 'Heh, this place is so big, I don't suppose you could direct me to Ayaka-san's office?'
Suguru's eyes widen. 'Hah! You got Ayaka? Lord, I pity you.'
The dread grows deeper within Shuichi.
'Third floor, second corridor, fifth door on the left. And I really have to get some files from Kitizawa in the fourth hell, so I'll say good-bye. It was nice to meet you Shindou-san.'
Suguru scurries off, leaving Shuichi feeling bewildered and lost.
With a sigh, Shuichi hurries on his way, knowing he's probably already late. The corridors vary in size, but all are decorated in green wallpaper, with little pale yellow patterns on it. The carpet matches exactly. He reaches the third floor from stairs, unable to find an elevator. Before him lies a maze, and it's a busy maze.
'Kyaaa,' he feels his eyes cross. He really doesn't want to meet Ayaka anyway, not knowing what lies ahead of him.
Reluctantly, he shuffles his way through the maze, staring at the people there. Surely none of them could be Angels…they don't have wings and look completely ordinary. But, thinking about he, Suguru doesn't have wings, yet he's an Angel.
The boy shakes himself and without even noticing, finds himself standing in front of an oak door, a silver sign hanging from it stating "Counsellor: Ayaka".
After some hesitation, Shuichi finally convinces himself that he should knock.
The door opens and a young woman, with waist length brown hair and big blue eyes stares back at him. She looks so ordinary, dressed in an ankle length blue skirt and a cream jacket; Shuichi takes a moment, trying to find something special about her. There's nothing.
'Hmph. Shindou-san, you are exactly thirty minutes and twenty-two seconds late. I don't approve of tardiness.'
Shuichi's eyes widen.
'But apart from that, hello,' she smiles blandly at him. 'I suppose I can over look being late every now and then.'
She reaches out and grabs his wrist, pulling him into the room. Her touch is cold, and Shuichi shivers. She drops his wrist, as they reach the middle of the room, and watches as Shuichi stares at his surroundings.
The boy feels numb with shock, a lump in his throat. 'Why is it like this?' he manages to choke out. Ayaka says nothing, just stares blankly at him. Panic overcomes Shuichi and he grabs her upper arms. 'This is torture, make it different!'
He squeezes his eyes shut, but nothing vanishes. The room is his bedroom, his death room. What had felt like the centre of the room when Ayaka dropped his wrist was really by the window, opposite the bedroom door.
He can see his sister, shaking his limp form, blood on the worn carpet pooling around Maiko's knees. His head flops back turned away from Maiko, one arm laying on the floor, the other flung across his torso. There's blood everywhere. Up his arms, on his favourite t-shirt, even on his face, which is pale.
A faint sound comes from the morbid scene. 'Onii-chan! Onii-chan!'
The sound sends shivers down Shuichi's spine, it reminds him so much of when he and Maiko were little, when she was calling to him, afraid of the dark or a spider in her room. A high-pitched, terrified shout for her older brother.
'ONII-CHAN!'
The scene stops, suddenly, twisting into a dark hole of nothing, leaving the room blank and both Shuichi and the counselling Angel back in the centre.
Shuichi drops to his knees, feeling sick and numb. His hands shake as he cups his face, his stomach flops over and over and tears trickle down his face. 'Make it stop…'
Ayaka hovers behind him, offering no comfort.
'Shindou-san, pull yourself together. This is the choice you made.'
Shuichi stares in shock up at her. 'W--what?'
'You made the choice to take your own life. I have a question; did you wonder how it would affect your little sister?'
Shuichi says nothing. 'What about your mother? What about your father? Your family?'
He still remains silent. Ayaka kneels beside him. 'Think about it, and we'll discuss it next time.' He looks at her; 'The sessions over?'
She nods.
Shuichi leaves the room, and as soon as the door is shut behind him, he collapses on the floor, drained, confused and tearful.
What had he done?
Shakily, he gets to his feet and manages to find his way out of the building. * The artificial light is still bright outside, and Shuichi blinks to adjust, wiping away his tears. He looks around, wondering what to do next. He feels like he has spent hours, watching the horrifying scene he had just seen. His sister's screams still ring in his ears. How much time had really passed?
He staggers down the steps and sees Suguru sitting on the wall before him.
'Tough death?' the young-looking angel asks.
Shuichi looks at him curiously, puzzled by the angel's question.
'…First session always shows the "what happened after death" stuff. It sucks…and the nightmares after it. Yeesh. I never want to go through that again.'
Shuichi is intrigued and sits beside Suguru. 'What do you mean?'
'Your first counselling session. Hurts right? You look shook up, thus I figured pretty tough death.' Shuichi nods slowly.
'Look, everyone goes through the same thing, no matter what level of hell you go to. I've been through it, hey, even the ancient battle-axe Ayaka has been through it. ArchAngels are possibly the only ones who haven't depending how they got there. They're like royalty, princes and princesses' and the guy in charge is king.'
'Uh-huh.'
'From the way you look, I can tell your gonna have pretty bad nightmares. Mine were awful…'
'How did you die?' Shuichi asks before he realises what he's saying.
Suguru looks at him questioningly.
'Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I'm just curious that's all, I'm sorry…I won't ask again, don't answer.'
'I…it happened oh, about four-hundred years ago…maybe even further back, but who cares?'
Shuichi's eyes widen.
'Long time right? I chose to be an Angel when it was all over, because after what happened to me, I figured life wouldn't be worth it. I didn't live very long. I was killed at fourteen.'
'You were murdered?' Shuichi asks horrified.
Suguru lets out a bitter laugh. 'No, unfortunately. That would have been far more blissful than what I was put through. And I have no idea why I'm telling you this, so don't interrupt or I'll stop. 'At fourteen, I was selected by the tribe I lived in to be sacrificed for the "good" of my people. My parents agreed to it. Every fool in that village believed that by giving me to the gods they worshipped would stop the bad luck running through the village. The crops had failed that year and many people had fallen sick and died of some sort of plague.
'I don't really understand it now, and I didn't then either. They prepared the ritual and I was taken away from my family and left in a dark hole so that nothing would "dirty" me and kill me before they were ready to sacrifice me.'
Shuichi stares at Suguru's face with a morbid curiosity, the angel looks so sad and betrayed.
'I was in there for two months. Heh, now if you think this is hell, you're mistaken. That was hell. It drove me to the brink of insanity. The only thing that kept me sane was the daily visits from a village girl who brought me food and water. I think I fell in love with the quick glimpses of her face that I got every day before I was holed up again. It was torture.
'After the two months passed, the "priest" pulled me out of my dank, dark hole. He bound my wrists so tightly with rope, it cut into my skin. I had the scars for a long time, even in Hell. I was washed in order to be cleansed and dressed in a soft white robe. It was nice to see the light again, to feel clean, even if it was just for the half an hour or so I had left to live. I cried, yes, of course I did. But I was scorned and beaten when I did, so I soon shut up.
'They dragged me to a crude alter the villagers had built. They were all there, like vultures. Even my family…they were…they wanted me dead to make the bad go away…anything to help. The last thing I remember seeing is…' Suguru chokes on his words. 'They held a stone dagger above my head as I kneeled before them, I couldn't see what they were doing. The priest stood behind me and I faced the crowd of… "eager" onlookers. Before I closed my eyes to wait for my death I saw the girl one last time. I remember thinking Maybe I can die happy. Heh, not a chance. The dagger came down hard, and penetrated my skull. There was an intense pain for about three seconds and then I was sitting in front of an Administrator waiting to find out my next destiny.'
A heavy silence hangs between the boy and the angel.
Finally, Shuichi breathes; 'Wow…'
Suguru seems to snap out of the trance he has fallen into. 'Sorry. I've never told anyone that…' he looks at Shuichi, 'thank you for listening I guess.'
'Its no problem,' Shuichi moves to hug Suguru, unsure why but feels compelled to do so.
Suguru shifts away quickly. 'I don't hug. I get freaked out by contact…I still have issues. It's why I'm such a low ranking angel. I can't counsel if I can't deal with my own death still. Hey, maybe this'll help.'
'I hope it does,' Shuichi beams.
The artificial sunlight has long since gone, but Shuichi has not noticed, having been entranced by Suguru's heartbreaking story.
'Hey!' Shuichi says suddenly, 'seeing as you know so much about this place, wanna be friends and help me about when you can?'
Suguru stares. 'Its not usually orthodox…'
Shuichi stares back with pleading eyes. 'Pleassssssssssse?'
Suguru sighs and slumps over, 'Okay, sure.'
'Yay!'
'You should go and rest. Try not to sleep, because you'll feel like crap in the morning.'
'Eh?'
'Go. I'm trying to be your friend and be helpful…'
'K…oyasumi nasai!'
Shuichi dashes off back to the apartments, tripping over his feet and his waves to his newfound friend. * 'Interesting boy,' came a voice, causing Suguru to jump. 'I believe he's the only person you've ever actually spoken to for more than two seconds.'
The young Angel turned and saw Ayaka standing at the top of the steps.
'He's not a counselling angel you know.'
Suguru shrugs. 'Does it matter?'
'The people we're meant to be helping aren't meant to be our friends.'
'I wasn't the one who came up with the idea. Do what you want about it.'
Ayaka raises an eyebrow. 'No. I think…he's kinda different, you know? Shindou-san could help you a lot, and in return I think he needs friendship more than he needs counselling. That's what he lacked in life. Got the counselling, but no real friendship.'
'So he's going to be some kind of experiment?' snaps Suguru, glaring witheringly at Ayaka.
'Hmmm, no. I just want to try a new method…he'll have to have normal counselling sessions or there'll be trouble, but he can settle in as he pleases. I'll let him have a bit more freedom than the others. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and report to Yuki-sama.' * Shuichi stares up at the ceiling in his room. He realises that the previous night he had just fallen asleep but now with Suguru's warning, he wasn't quite sure if he ever wanted to sleep again. A chill ran over him causing his slight body to shudder, yet his eyes remain fixed on the ceiling. They ached with tiredness, yet Shuichi won't give in. Time shifts on, as Shuichi's eye's droop ever closer to being shut tight. He yawns and attempts to sit, only to find that his body is leaden with fatigue. Finally giving in, Shuichi falls into a deep sleep filled with taunting dreams. Shuichi is tangled in the pure white sheets; sweat dampening his forehead, deep in a nightmare. He can't quite figure it out…flashes of his past. A kick to his head, blood dripping in his eyes, his mother cleaning the wounds and not saying anything. Pain welled in his chest, something raging to get out. Anger, hurt, loneliness. A hunger for death…an end.
In his sleep, Shuichi moans and whimpers, as memories of the pain flood back. Why? Why is it all there?
Can he not find peace?
His eyes open…and he turns his head in his bed to the door and sees a younger version of himself, hair brown and eyes wide…innocent, standing in the doorway. The face is pale and spattered with blood. The child-Shuichi raises its arms…and Shuichi sees the long jagged cuts that match the ones the brought about his end… Shuichi wakes up with a short scream. His breath is harsh and jagged. He pulls his hands up to wipe the sweat away from his face, and lets out a short sharp gasp noticing the wounds on his arms. Each and every scar has split open and fresh blood covers his arms, his chest and his bed sheets. He whimpers and fights back tears. Panic rushes through his head.
"Can you die twice?" he wonders.
Unable to stay still, Shuichi hops out of bed and dresses, ignoring the open wounds on his arms. He feels the need to get out of the room as quickly as possible, but he lingers at the door a flash of himself as a child fresh in his memory. It creeps him out for some reason and he moves even faster to get out of the apartment. * 'Why not? Don't you think it's a good idea?'
'They cannot socialise with angels.'
'Yuki, I'm asking you, just this once.'
'The people here are here to heal and attempt to become…normal, for lack of a better word. The answer remains no.'
'I think the boy would become "normal" if we carried through my idea!'
'Ayaka,' Yuki finally looks up from his paper work, 'I don't care what you're saying; I'm not the one who decides after all. You know I'd have to consult a higher ranking angel, and I'm not about to,' he says coolly, wanting to end the conversation. He wants to be out of the office and away before Tohma's promised visit.
'What's so bad about that? It would help!'
'Don't push this, Ayaka,' he says in warning tones.
'The boy already got someone to tell their story when they wouldn't open up to me!'
'Don't go over the details again.'
'Please, consider it.'
'You're dismissed Ayaka, and have been for the past five minutes.'
'I really don't understand you, Yuki.'
Without another word, the counselling Angel leaves. Yuki sets down the paper work and his glasses. He admits silently to himself that Ayaka has a point, but he doesn't want to go further.
"If it's meant to be, it will be," he reminds himself.
He picks up his book and, after a moments thought, sets it down again. He needs time to reflect and decides against reading.
Yuki notes the "time" and smiles to himself. Most of the souls are already resting, so he will find himself in solitude when he gets to the stone garden.
Without hesitation, he leaves, hoping not to bump into Tohma. * Shuichi examines his wrists, exiting the apartments, noticing that the bleeding has not ceased yet, but instead keeps coming afresh. His heart pounds, tears in his eyes. What's happening? With a slight startled scream, Shuichi realises other wounds have begun to open, the wound on his head where a boot had met it and a long slit on his leg made by a nail file, courtesy of a girl in school.
Shuichi sobs and starts running, confusion awash in his brain. He collapses on a stone bench, a hand flung carelessly across his head, knees tucked up into his chest. His breath comes in heaving silent sobs. Eyes crunched shut, images of the bullying he had put up with his whole life flooded his brain, causing his slight body to shake in terror of the waking nightmare.
Suddenly, his heart misses a beat and he raises his head, a disturbing feeling on his back. Peering down at him with a stern look is a blonde man. Through the tears Shuichi barely recognises him, but he quickly wipes away the wells of tears in his eyes, leaving blood smudges on his cheeks.
'Yuki-san?' he asks, uncurling himself and sitting up. His body still shakes, but he sees little concern in the man's eyes.
'You've gotten yourself in a state, haven't you?' the blonde asks.
'Ah…' Shuichi feels embarrassed. And shy. The older man certainly seemed to have an odd effect on the sixteen year old. He attempts to pull the attention away from himself. 'What are you doing here?'
'You're in my reading spot,' Yuki replies flippantly. 'Hold out your wrists.'
Shuichi's eyes widened, but he follows the request.
'Your first dream here?'
Shuichi nods.
Yuki doesn't respond his brow furrowed in concentration as he wraps the wounds with a pristine white cloth that he had had in his pocket. After doing so, he examines the wound on Shuichi's head.
'There's nothing I can do for that. It's not that deep, and the blood shouldn't flow for long. You should just leave it.' He indicates to the blood on Shuichi's thigh. 'Let me see that.'
Shuichi blushes and raises his leg so it rests in Yuki's lap.
Yuki's eyebrows rise as he inspects the wound. 'It is deep. How did you do this?'
'I didn't! I only ever cut my wrists!'
'I wasn't accusing you.'
Shuichi's mouth hangs open. 'I-err-'
'I'm not going to say I understand, because I don't. I'll never understand those who committed suicide.'
'Huh?'
'Nothing. There, that's the best I can do. Do you have any other injuries?' He pushes Shuichi leg off his lap and looks at the boy coldly.
'Erm…not that I know of.'
They sit in silence. Shuichi feels so warm in the mans presence, even if Yuki acts so cold. He looks to the man who is looking around warily.
'You don't have a book with you,' Shuichi notes.
'I didn't want to read.'
'Oh.'
Yuki looks at Shuichi. 'You want to talk to me, don't you?' He asks, almost sounding surprised.
'Ah!' Shuichi narrows his eyes, 'what's wrong with that?' he says defiantly.
'Just unusual. You don't know who I am…'
'Eh?'
'Never mind.'
Shuichi ponders, trying to avoid asking Yuki the only question he desperately wants to. 'Urm…so…ah…ooo.' He gives up. 'Ne, Yuki. Sorry for asking this, but…how did you die then? If it wasn't suicide?'
Yuki looks at him sharply. 'People don't usually ask that here.'
'I'm…er…curious?'
'I forget how I died. It doesn't matter anyway. A long time ago it was.'
Shuichi sighs.
'Why did you kill yourself Shuichi?'
Shuichi topples of the bench, taken unawares by the question. Yuki's eyes widen in surprise. He gets up and helps Shuichi to his feet, holding him by the wrist. Shuichi blushes at the proximity of their bodies.
'You seem awfully eager to know how everyone else here died, don't you?' Yuki says, his look boring into Shuichi's own eyes. 'So I'm interested as to why you're here. And at such a young age.'
Shuichi's arms drop to his sides, but he and Yuki's chests still remain close together, almost brushing against each other. He stares up into amber eyes.
'I---didn't want to put up with a life full of torture anymore.'
Yuki says nothing and Shuichi notices how close they have gotten. He desperately doesn't want to break the contact.
'Let me ask one more thing…was it worth it?' he asks, passion in his voice.
'Er—'
Yuki's head is moving closer to his. His lips tingle as he feels Yuki's cold breath upon them.
"Whats going on here?!" Shuichi's brain puzzles. "How did this happen?! He's another guy!"
Soft lips meet Shuichi's own and Shuichi feels a mixture of utter confusion and floating. From coldness to a kiss…it was all so confusing.
Suddenly, far to suddenly for the dizzy pink haired boy, the kiss is over and Yuki has pushed him away.
'Eir---Yuki.' Says a superior sounding voice.
Shuichi looks up and spots Tohma. "The Angel," Shuichi's brain prompts.
He sees Yuki tense and the man moves to block Shuichi from view.
'Tohma,' he responds to the Angel, coolness once again returning. Aside to Shuichi he mutters; 'Return to your apartment.'
Shuichi opens his mouth to question why, but decides against it, hastily moving backwards. His pace speeds up. Once at a secure distance he looks back and sees Yuki and Tohma engaging in what seems like a heated discussion.
This was all so confusing. To Be Continued…
Notes & Warning: This chapter has disturbing flashbacks, so read on if you think you can handle it.
Note to Saturn's Angels: I've never heard of Dante's Inferno…o.o heh heh Chapter Two Shuichi stares up at the counselling angels' office block, and feels so small and intimidated that he wants to run away, but is sealed firmly to the spot he stands on.
'You'd think they'd make this place more welcoming,' he mutters, gulping and opening the door. He steps inside, and is welcome to a homely atmosphere before being mowed down by a green haired boy in a great hurry.
He lands on the floor heavily, and finds that even though he is dead, he can still feel pain. And the fact that the boy has landed on top of him.
'Oh! I'm ever so sorry!'
Purple eyes meet brown and Shuichi notices that the boy must be about fourteen, maybe even younger.
'Its okay.'
The boy helps Shuichi to his feet and smiles; 'You're new here. I don't spend much time in second hell, but I know a new face when I see one. I'm Suguru.'
'You're an angel?' Shuichi asks, unable to hold back the surprise.
'Ah, just an ordinary run of the mill angel. Not a snobby counselling one. Or an ArchAngel. I know I look young, but I'm far older than you,' he says the last bit menacingly, leaning into Shuichi.
'Eh? Oh. Er- sorry. Eto…I'm Shindou Shuichi.' He bows. 'Heh, this place is so big, I don't suppose you could direct me to Ayaka-san's office?'
Suguru's eyes widen. 'Hah! You got Ayaka? Lord, I pity you.'
The dread grows deeper within Shuichi.
'Third floor, second corridor, fifth door on the left. And I really have to get some files from Kitizawa in the fourth hell, so I'll say good-bye. It was nice to meet you Shindou-san.'
Suguru scurries off, leaving Shuichi feeling bewildered and lost.
With a sigh, Shuichi hurries on his way, knowing he's probably already late. The corridors vary in size, but all are decorated in green wallpaper, with little pale yellow patterns on it. The carpet matches exactly. He reaches the third floor from stairs, unable to find an elevator. Before him lies a maze, and it's a busy maze.
'Kyaaa,' he feels his eyes cross. He really doesn't want to meet Ayaka anyway, not knowing what lies ahead of him.
Reluctantly, he shuffles his way through the maze, staring at the people there. Surely none of them could be Angels…they don't have wings and look completely ordinary. But, thinking about he, Suguru doesn't have wings, yet he's an Angel.
The boy shakes himself and without even noticing, finds himself standing in front of an oak door, a silver sign hanging from it stating "Counsellor: Ayaka".
After some hesitation, Shuichi finally convinces himself that he should knock.
The door opens and a young woman, with waist length brown hair and big blue eyes stares back at him. She looks so ordinary, dressed in an ankle length blue skirt and a cream jacket; Shuichi takes a moment, trying to find something special about her. There's nothing.
'Hmph. Shindou-san, you are exactly thirty minutes and twenty-two seconds late. I don't approve of tardiness.'
Shuichi's eyes widen.
'But apart from that, hello,' she smiles blandly at him. 'I suppose I can over look being late every now and then.'
She reaches out and grabs his wrist, pulling him into the room. Her touch is cold, and Shuichi shivers. She drops his wrist, as they reach the middle of the room, and watches as Shuichi stares at his surroundings.
The boy feels numb with shock, a lump in his throat. 'Why is it like this?' he manages to choke out. Ayaka says nothing, just stares blankly at him. Panic overcomes Shuichi and he grabs her upper arms. 'This is torture, make it different!'
He squeezes his eyes shut, but nothing vanishes. The room is his bedroom, his death room. What had felt like the centre of the room when Ayaka dropped his wrist was really by the window, opposite the bedroom door.
He can see his sister, shaking his limp form, blood on the worn carpet pooling around Maiko's knees. His head flops back turned away from Maiko, one arm laying on the floor, the other flung across his torso. There's blood everywhere. Up his arms, on his favourite t-shirt, even on his face, which is pale.
A faint sound comes from the morbid scene. 'Onii-chan! Onii-chan!'
The sound sends shivers down Shuichi's spine, it reminds him so much of when he and Maiko were little, when she was calling to him, afraid of the dark or a spider in her room. A high-pitched, terrified shout for her older brother.
'ONII-CHAN!'
The scene stops, suddenly, twisting into a dark hole of nothing, leaving the room blank and both Shuichi and the counselling Angel back in the centre.
Shuichi drops to his knees, feeling sick and numb. His hands shake as he cups his face, his stomach flops over and over and tears trickle down his face. 'Make it stop…'
Ayaka hovers behind him, offering no comfort.
'Shindou-san, pull yourself together. This is the choice you made.'
Shuichi stares in shock up at her. 'W--what?'
'You made the choice to take your own life. I have a question; did you wonder how it would affect your little sister?'
Shuichi says nothing. 'What about your mother? What about your father? Your family?'
He still remains silent. Ayaka kneels beside him. 'Think about it, and we'll discuss it next time.' He looks at her; 'The sessions over?'
She nods.
Shuichi leaves the room, and as soon as the door is shut behind him, he collapses on the floor, drained, confused and tearful.
What had he done?
Shakily, he gets to his feet and manages to find his way out of the building. * The artificial light is still bright outside, and Shuichi blinks to adjust, wiping away his tears. He looks around, wondering what to do next. He feels like he has spent hours, watching the horrifying scene he had just seen. His sister's screams still ring in his ears. How much time had really passed?
He staggers down the steps and sees Suguru sitting on the wall before him.
'Tough death?' the young-looking angel asks.
Shuichi looks at him curiously, puzzled by the angel's question.
'…First session always shows the "what happened after death" stuff. It sucks…and the nightmares after it. Yeesh. I never want to go through that again.'
Shuichi is intrigued and sits beside Suguru. 'What do you mean?'
'Your first counselling session. Hurts right? You look shook up, thus I figured pretty tough death.' Shuichi nods slowly.
'Look, everyone goes through the same thing, no matter what level of hell you go to. I've been through it, hey, even the ancient battle-axe Ayaka has been through it. ArchAngels are possibly the only ones who haven't depending how they got there. They're like royalty, princes and princesses' and the guy in charge is king.'
'Uh-huh.'
'From the way you look, I can tell your gonna have pretty bad nightmares. Mine were awful…'
'How did you die?' Shuichi asks before he realises what he's saying.
Suguru looks at him questioningly.
'Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…I'm just curious that's all, I'm sorry…I won't ask again, don't answer.'
'I…it happened oh, about four-hundred years ago…maybe even further back, but who cares?'
Shuichi's eyes widen.
'Long time right? I chose to be an Angel when it was all over, because after what happened to me, I figured life wouldn't be worth it. I didn't live very long. I was killed at fourteen.'
'You were murdered?' Shuichi asks horrified.
Suguru lets out a bitter laugh. 'No, unfortunately. That would have been far more blissful than what I was put through. And I have no idea why I'm telling you this, so don't interrupt or I'll stop. 'At fourteen, I was selected by the tribe I lived in to be sacrificed for the "good" of my people. My parents agreed to it. Every fool in that village believed that by giving me to the gods they worshipped would stop the bad luck running through the village. The crops had failed that year and many people had fallen sick and died of some sort of plague.
'I don't really understand it now, and I didn't then either. They prepared the ritual and I was taken away from my family and left in a dark hole so that nothing would "dirty" me and kill me before they were ready to sacrifice me.'
Shuichi stares at Suguru's face with a morbid curiosity, the angel looks so sad and betrayed.
'I was in there for two months. Heh, now if you think this is hell, you're mistaken. That was hell. It drove me to the brink of insanity. The only thing that kept me sane was the daily visits from a village girl who brought me food and water. I think I fell in love with the quick glimpses of her face that I got every day before I was holed up again. It was torture.
'After the two months passed, the "priest" pulled me out of my dank, dark hole. He bound my wrists so tightly with rope, it cut into my skin. I had the scars for a long time, even in Hell. I was washed in order to be cleansed and dressed in a soft white robe. It was nice to see the light again, to feel clean, even if it was just for the half an hour or so I had left to live. I cried, yes, of course I did. But I was scorned and beaten when I did, so I soon shut up.
'They dragged me to a crude alter the villagers had built. They were all there, like vultures. Even my family…they were…they wanted me dead to make the bad go away…anything to help. The last thing I remember seeing is…' Suguru chokes on his words. 'They held a stone dagger above my head as I kneeled before them, I couldn't see what they were doing. The priest stood behind me and I faced the crowd of… "eager" onlookers. Before I closed my eyes to wait for my death I saw the girl one last time. I remember thinking Maybe I can die happy. Heh, not a chance. The dagger came down hard, and penetrated my skull. There was an intense pain for about three seconds and then I was sitting in front of an Administrator waiting to find out my next destiny.'
A heavy silence hangs between the boy and the angel.
Finally, Shuichi breathes; 'Wow…'
Suguru seems to snap out of the trance he has fallen into. 'Sorry. I've never told anyone that…' he looks at Shuichi, 'thank you for listening I guess.'
'Its no problem,' Shuichi moves to hug Suguru, unsure why but feels compelled to do so.
Suguru shifts away quickly. 'I don't hug. I get freaked out by contact…I still have issues. It's why I'm such a low ranking angel. I can't counsel if I can't deal with my own death still. Hey, maybe this'll help.'
'I hope it does,' Shuichi beams.
The artificial sunlight has long since gone, but Shuichi has not noticed, having been entranced by Suguru's heartbreaking story.
'Hey!' Shuichi says suddenly, 'seeing as you know so much about this place, wanna be friends and help me about when you can?'
Suguru stares. 'Its not usually orthodox…'
Shuichi stares back with pleading eyes. 'Pleassssssssssse?'
Suguru sighs and slumps over, 'Okay, sure.'
'Yay!'
'You should go and rest. Try not to sleep, because you'll feel like crap in the morning.'
'Eh?'
'Go. I'm trying to be your friend and be helpful…'
'K…oyasumi nasai!'
Shuichi dashes off back to the apartments, tripping over his feet and his waves to his newfound friend. * 'Interesting boy,' came a voice, causing Suguru to jump. 'I believe he's the only person you've ever actually spoken to for more than two seconds.'
The young Angel turned and saw Ayaka standing at the top of the steps.
'He's not a counselling angel you know.'
Suguru shrugs. 'Does it matter?'
'The people we're meant to be helping aren't meant to be our friends.'
'I wasn't the one who came up with the idea. Do what you want about it.'
Ayaka raises an eyebrow. 'No. I think…he's kinda different, you know? Shindou-san could help you a lot, and in return I think he needs friendship more than he needs counselling. That's what he lacked in life. Got the counselling, but no real friendship.'
'So he's going to be some kind of experiment?' snaps Suguru, glaring witheringly at Ayaka.
'Hmmm, no. I just want to try a new method…he'll have to have normal counselling sessions or there'll be trouble, but he can settle in as he pleases. I'll let him have a bit more freedom than the others. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and report to Yuki-sama.' * Shuichi stares up at the ceiling in his room. He realises that the previous night he had just fallen asleep but now with Suguru's warning, he wasn't quite sure if he ever wanted to sleep again. A chill ran over him causing his slight body to shudder, yet his eyes remain fixed on the ceiling. They ached with tiredness, yet Shuichi won't give in. Time shifts on, as Shuichi's eye's droop ever closer to being shut tight. He yawns and attempts to sit, only to find that his body is leaden with fatigue. Finally giving in, Shuichi falls into a deep sleep filled with taunting dreams. Shuichi is tangled in the pure white sheets; sweat dampening his forehead, deep in a nightmare. He can't quite figure it out…flashes of his past. A kick to his head, blood dripping in his eyes, his mother cleaning the wounds and not saying anything. Pain welled in his chest, something raging to get out. Anger, hurt, loneliness. A hunger for death…an end.
In his sleep, Shuichi moans and whimpers, as memories of the pain flood back. Why? Why is it all there?
Can he not find peace?
His eyes open…and he turns his head in his bed to the door and sees a younger version of himself, hair brown and eyes wide…innocent, standing in the doorway. The face is pale and spattered with blood. The child-Shuichi raises its arms…and Shuichi sees the long jagged cuts that match the ones the brought about his end… Shuichi wakes up with a short scream. His breath is harsh and jagged. He pulls his hands up to wipe the sweat away from his face, and lets out a short sharp gasp noticing the wounds on his arms. Each and every scar has split open and fresh blood covers his arms, his chest and his bed sheets. He whimpers and fights back tears. Panic rushes through his head.
"Can you die twice?" he wonders.
Unable to stay still, Shuichi hops out of bed and dresses, ignoring the open wounds on his arms. He feels the need to get out of the room as quickly as possible, but he lingers at the door a flash of himself as a child fresh in his memory. It creeps him out for some reason and he moves even faster to get out of the apartment. * 'Why not? Don't you think it's a good idea?'
'They cannot socialise with angels.'
'Yuki, I'm asking you, just this once.'
'The people here are here to heal and attempt to become…normal, for lack of a better word. The answer remains no.'
'I think the boy would become "normal" if we carried through my idea!'
'Ayaka,' Yuki finally looks up from his paper work, 'I don't care what you're saying; I'm not the one who decides after all. You know I'd have to consult a higher ranking angel, and I'm not about to,' he says coolly, wanting to end the conversation. He wants to be out of the office and away before Tohma's promised visit.
'What's so bad about that? It would help!'
'Don't push this, Ayaka,' he says in warning tones.
'The boy already got someone to tell their story when they wouldn't open up to me!'
'Don't go over the details again.'
'Please, consider it.'
'You're dismissed Ayaka, and have been for the past five minutes.'
'I really don't understand you, Yuki.'
Without another word, the counselling Angel leaves. Yuki sets down the paper work and his glasses. He admits silently to himself that Ayaka has a point, but he doesn't want to go further.
"If it's meant to be, it will be," he reminds himself.
He picks up his book and, after a moments thought, sets it down again. He needs time to reflect and decides against reading.
Yuki notes the "time" and smiles to himself. Most of the souls are already resting, so he will find himself in solitude when he gets to the stone garden.
Without hesitation, he leaves, hoping not to bump into Tohma. * Shuichi examines his wrists, exiting the apartments, noticing that the bleeding has not ceased yet, but instead keeps coming afresh. His heart pounds, tears in his eyes. What's happening? With a slight startled scream, Shuichi realises other wounds have begun to open, the wound on his head where a boot had met it and a long slit on his leg made by a nail file, courtesy of a girl in school.
Shuichi sobs and starts running, confusion awash in his brain. He collapses on a stone bench, a hand flung carelessly across his head, knees tucked up into his chest. His breath comes in heaving silent sobs. Eyes crunched shut, images of the bullying he had put up with his whole life flooded his brain, causing his slight body to shake in terror of the waking nightmare.
Suddenly, his heart misses a beat and he raises his head, a disturbing feeling on his back. Peering down at him with a stern look is a blonde man. Through the tears Shuichi barely recognises him, but he quickly wipes away the wells of tears in his eyes, leaving blood smudges on his cheeks.
'Yuki-san?' he asks, uncurling himself and sitting up. His body still shakes, but he sees little concern in the man's eyes.
'You've gotten yourself in a state, haven't you?' the blonde asks.
'Ah…' Shuichi feels embarrassed. And shy. The older man certainly seemed to have an odd effect on the sixteen year old. He attempts to pull the attention away from himself. 'What are you doing here?'
'You're in my reading spot,' Yuki replies flippantly. 'Hold out your wrists.'
Shuichi's eyes widened, but he follows the request.
'Your first dream here?'
Shuichi nods.
Yuki doesn't respond his brow furrowed in concentration as he wraps the wounds with a pristine white cloth that he had had in his pocket. After doing so, he examines the wound on Shuichi's head.
'There's nothing I can do for that. It's not that deep, and the blood shouldn't flow for long. You should just leave it.' He indicates to the blood on Shuichi's thigh. 'Let me see that.'
Shuichi blushes and raises his leg so it rests in Yuki's lap.
Yuki's eyebrows rise as he inspects the wound. 'It is deep. How did you do this?'
'I didn't! I only ever cut my wrists!'
'I wasn't accusing you.'
Shuichi's mouth hangs open. 'I-err-'
'I'm not going to say I understand, because I don't. I'll never understand those who committed suicide.'
'Huh?'
'Nothing. There, that's the best I can do. Do you have any other injuries?' He pushes Shuichi leg off his lap and looks at the boy coldly.
'Erm…not that I know of.'
They sit in silence. Shuichi feels so warm in the mans presence, even if Yuki acts so cold. He looks to the man who is looking around warily.
'You don't have a book with you,' Shuichi notes.
'I didn't want to read.'
'Oh.'
Yuki looks at Shuichi. 'You want to talk to me, don't you?' He asks, almost sounding surprised.
'Ah!' Shuichi narrows his eyes, 'what's wrong with that?' he says defiantly.
'Just unusual. You don't know who I am…'
'Eh?'
'Never mind.'
Shuichi ponders, trying to avoid asking Yuki the only question he desperately wants to. 'Urm…so…ah…ooo.' He gives up. 'Ne, Yuki. Sorry for asking this, but…how did you die then? If it wasn't suicide?'
Yuki looks at him sharply. 'People don't usually ask that here.'
'I'm…er…curious?'
'I forget how I died. It doesn't matter anyway. A long time ago it was.'
Shuichi sighs.
'Why did you kill yourself Shuichi?'
Shuichi topples of the bench, taken unawares by the question. Yuki's eyes widen in surprise. He gets up and helps Shuichi to his feet, holding him by the wrist. Shuichi blushes at the proximity of their bodies.
'You seem awfully eager to know how everyone else here died, don't you?' Yuki says, his look boring into Shuichi's own eyes. 'So I'm interested as to why you're here. And at such a young age.'
Shuichi's arms drop to his sides, but he and Yuki's chests still remain close together, almost brushing against each other. He stares up into amber eyes.
'I---didn't want to put up with a life full of torture anymore.'
Yuki says nothing and Shuichi notices how close they have gotten. He desperately doesn't want to break the contact.
'Let me ask one more thing…was it worth it?' he asks, passion in his voice.
'Er—'
Yuki's head is moving closer to his. His lips tingle as he feels Yuki's cold breath upon them.
"Whats going on here?!" Shuichi's brain puzzles. "How did this happen?! He's another guy!"
Soft lips meet Shuichi's own and Shuichi feels a mixture of utter confusion and floating. From coldness to a kiss…it was all so confusing.
Suddenly, far to suddenly for the dizzy pink haired boy, the kiss is over and Yuki has pushed him away.
'Eir---Yuki.' Says a superior sounding voice.
Shuichi looks up and spots Tohma. "The Angel," Shuichi's brain prompts.
He sees Yuki tense and the man moves to block Shuichi from view.
'Tohma,' he responds to the Angel, coolness once again returning. Aside to Shuichi he mutters; 'Return to your apartment.'
Shuichi opens his mouth to question why, but decides against it, hastily moving backwards. His pace speeds up. Once at a secure distance he looks back and sees Yuki and Tohma engaging in what seems like a heated discussion.
This was all so confusing. To Be Continued…