Part two
2 days later the fellowship found themselves outside the gates of Moria with the lake Sirannon at the side of them, dark and ominous.
Gandalf tried every password he could remember off the top of his head (A/N: Must be some reason for that big hat), in every tongue there was in existence (except the black speech of course), still the gates remain shut tightly. The fellowship settled down for a loooonng wait.
Legolas, who had been sleeping peacefully in Gimli's arms before, was wide- awake and watching the lake, his little elven face was troubled. Looking down at the small elf in his arms, Gimli saw this and asked, "What's wrong, little one?"
Legolas whimpered and pointed to the middle of the lake.
"There's nothing there but water, Legolas," reassured the dwarf.
The little elf carried on pointing and whimpering, then suddenly went quiet as if waiting for something to happen.
Gimli was getting very concerned now, even though he tried to hide it. "Guys, I think there's something wrong with the elf," he called to the others.
"Maybe he needs his nappy changed," piped up Pippin, the elf gave the hobbit a dirty look before continuing his surveillance of the lake.
"K, maybe not, maybe he wants to go for a swim," said the oh so HELPFUL Took. Legolas got a look of pure horror on his face and began to cry again.
"Now look what you've done," cried out Gimli, trying to calm him by rocking him and whispering reassuring things in his pointed ear, all the while having his ear screamed in.
"It was only a suggestion," sniffed the little hobbit softly and went to find Merry.
Meanwhile Frodo had had an idea (A/N: Wow, I bet that hurt).
"What's the elfish word for peanut butter?" He asked the frustrated wizard, who was smoking his sixth pipe full of pipe weed.
".........." Gandalf just looked at him as if he had dressed in drag and started to do the hula.
"Ok, so it might not be that then," he conceded, striking a thinking pose.
"What's the elfish word for friend?"
"Mellon," replied the wizard, taking another drag from his pipe.
The gates opened. (A/N: Waves a mini flag, looking bored Woo hoo)
Meanwhile in the swamp.....I mean Isengard, Saruman sent for his most trusted (A/N: Coughbullshitcough) orcs. And while he was waiting (A/N: Orcs can't climb stairs very fast.........also there are a hell of a lot of stairs) he was indulging in some casual reading 'Ruling the world for dummies'.
The orcs finally made it and came in huffing and puffing and threatening to blow the tower down.
"Muhahahahahhahahah," Saruman guffawed evilly, "Now my plan can be put into action, now the elf is small and defenceless, you," he said pointing to the orcs, "will kill him," he said before he started chuckling again and pulling his beard.
Ignoring Legolas' whimpering, the fellowship stepped through the gateway.
"This isn't a mine, it's a KFC!" Cried Boromir staring at the deep-fried chicken wings and legs floating in front of his face. The others didn't see these so naturally they thought he had gone bonkers, crackers, one current short of a fruit cake, do.....well you get the idea, and ignored him.
Looking around the KF.....I mean mine, Aragorn discovered dwarf bodies everywhere.
"Oh dear," was all he could say.
Suddenly there was a cry from Frodo, who was at the back of the company. They turned round to find Boromir trying to deep fry the ring-bearer in the lake .......oh yeah and there was a big slimy monster thingy as well.
They all started to attack it. Gimli, after leaving Legolas safely behind a chicken wing.........I mean rock, started chopping at the guardian's tentacle thingys.
After what seemed like oh....2 minutes, the monster was defeated and Frodo was saved from a deep fry. Boromir was tied and gagged to a pole which Aragorn and Gandalf carried.
"We'll save him for roasting when our food rations get down to the crumpets," explained Gandalf. (A/N: I hate crumpets!)
Gimli went back to the chic.....rock he left Legolas behind only to find he had...(A/N: Drum roll please)......gone.
End of part two
A/N: If the there are ANY stupid spelling mistakes in this fic please ignore them...you see sad music starts playing in the background i don't have a muse or a beta writer just my microsoft word spell checksniffs