Chapter 2: Something not quite completely different, but close.
Harry, Ron, and Wipwop, accompanied by the gnomie army, marched through the sinister woods in the dark. Suddenly, Harry spotted movement out of the corner of his eye and gasped. "Ron, did you see that?" he said, pointing.
"HARRY, NO! STOP!!!" Ron bellowed, seizing Harry's arm and slamming it back against his side. "Don't do that, Harry! That's a sign of war!" He looked suspiciously from side to side, trying to see if anyone had see Harry's misunderstood motion.
"What's a sign of war?" Harry asked, completely lost and disgusted.
"Pointing! That's the international sign for 'attack'!" Ron said quietly, still glancing about.
"What? Are you mental?"
"Of course, if you knew better, you would have realized that this is the proper signaling motion." Ron made a swift chopping motion in the air.
"What? How is this a signaling motion?" Harry repeated the motion. "I mean, who have you seen lately that chops the air to look at something? And who points at something to signal an attack?"
"They do it all the time!" Ron replied.
"Really. Actually, if my sources are correct, when wizards want to attack something, they point their wand. And last time I checked, I've been in more battles than you."
"What, you don't think baskets are dangerous? And anyway, what if the other wizards couldn't see what they were attacking, hm? They'd need someone to point it out!"
"Why would they be attacking something they couldn't see? And how come the one wizard could see it if no one else could?"
"Because, he's Dumbledore, and he can always see you in your invisibility cloak!"
"Why is Dumbledore attacking me?"
"Because, earlier that day at lunch, Dumbledore had assigned you a bad lab partner, so you beat him up and stole his lunch money. Didn't you, Harry? And then he retaliated by gathering all the teachers and forming an army from them. Didn't he, Harry? And then he had Hagrid take you down. But you couldn't let that happen, now, could you, Harry? You couldn't let that trash your reputation as the basket killer you are. So you killed Hagrid, too! And you stole his lunch money! And you took Fang and all the chickens and hiked up to the teacher's lounge to stake your claim! Didn't you, Harry? But Dumbledore wasn't going to let that happen, so he and the teacher army hiked up to the teacher's lounge and you battled it out, didn't you, Harry? Didn't you, Harry? Didn't you?" Ron bellowed, pointing accusingly at Harry.
"What?"
"You're right. Too angry. Don't want to be too angry. Might lose the case." Ron muttered to no one in particular.
"Hey, wait a minute, you were just pointing at me!" Harry said, annoyed.
"Exactly." Ron whispered mischievously, a strange look in his eye. "Say goodbye, Potter."
"That's it," Harry shouted. "We are broken up for the rest of the day!"