"Um, who are you?" Harry asked the girl next to him.
"I'm Jenny, also known as Jenny the Jumping Woodnymph, President of the Kajen Sisterhood and Getimimity, Kramerica. That's my sister Katie. She's also President of the Kajen Sisterhood and Getimimity, Kramerica. She's got this crush on you that I just thought you should know about."
Katie stuffed Ron into a sack and waved. Harry waved back. Suddenly the bag began to squirm and Ron leapt out and yelled, "Don't do it, Harry! We're getting married, remember?! Oh, now I suppose I don't matter anymore. Is that it? You're just going to go and marry her? Hmm?! I'm just the grumpy old wife who's always telling you to get your underwear off of the floor. Well, it's not going down like that. We're getting married, whether you like it, OR NOT!"
Jenny stood with a heartbroken look on her face, then ran off. Gollum ran after her. Jenny ran as fast as she could away from the scene she had just witnessed. "I can't believe Ron would do something like that! Making Harry marry him. I mean, what about all the things Ron and I have been through? Doesn't that matter anymore? Don't I matter? Aren't I important to him? I mean, sure, I just met him, but... Oh! I don't know what to think anymore!" Jenny sobbed, and sat down on a log. Gollum came up beside her and gave her a marshmallow. "W-What's this?" Jenny asked, putting it in her mouth.
"I don't know." Gollum replied. "I found it on the ground. I thought it was yours." He gently stroked her fingernails. "You're so tense!" Gollum murmured. "Have you recently experienced emotional trauma involving two complete strangers getting married?"
"Why, yes, in fact. How did you know?" Jenny asked him.
"Well, let's just say that I used to see a lot of this kind of thing back when I was alive. But that's beside the point. Do you love peanut butter?"
"Um... I...guess so..."
"And do you love Ron?"
"But of course."
"Well, just think of it this way. Ron is like peanut butter. They're both delicious, but can get annoying if they get stuck under your fingernails. So think very hard, my child. Do you really love Ron enough to make him divorce Harry and marry you?"
"Well, yes. Yes, I do! I do!" Jenny yelled, standing up, and pulling a machine gun out of her pocket. "I'm gonna do it! That's it! Harry's going down!" She shouted and ran off in Harry's direction, leaving Gollum alone on the log.
"Jenny?" he called, "I thought what we had was special!!!!!!"
"Well, Harry? Who's it going to be? Me or...her?" Ron gestured toward Katie.
"Ron, we aren't getting married!" Harry shouted.
"Oh really?" Ron said quietly.
"NOOOOOoo!" Shrieked Jenny, leaping out from the trees, holding the machine gun. "Ron, how could you?"
"How could I what?"
"Marry Harry?"
"WE AREN'T GETTING MARRIED!" Harry shouted.
"...Oh..." Jenny muttered. "Well, then I guess I'll just..."
"NOOOOOOoooo!" Gollum shrieked, leaping out from the trees. "Jenny, how could you?"
"How could I what?"
"Marry Ron and Harry?"
"Oh, I'm not marrying Harry- just Ron."
"Oh."
"We're getting married?" Ron said, not really concerned. "Okay!"
"Are we about done here?" Hermione asked. "Okay, sorry, but we're on a quest and we need to get going! Katie? Jenny? Would you like to join us?"
"All right!" They said in unison.
"I will!" Wipwop said.
"Wipwop, you're already on the quest." Harry said.
"Really? That's grand."