Chapter 7: THE toothbrush clan

After several weeks of not really doing anything that had to do with their quest, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Wipwop, Gollum, Dr. Bojangles Sr., Bee-Bop Womp, and the Gnomie army were completely lost. Even Wipwop and the gnomes had no idea where they were.

Harry groaned. "What are we going to do? We can't just keep wandering around forever!" he complained.

"Well, we don't really have a choice. It's not like anyone is out here." Hermione argued.

"Yeah!" Ron yelled at Harry "And maybe if some people would just stop for directions, we wouldn't be in this situation! That is so like you, Harry! After all these years we've been together, you stillcan't admit that you're wrong!"

Harry looked desperate. "Well... well maybe Jenny and Katie knew their way around. If we could just find them..."

"But we don't know where they are!" Hermione whimpered.

"Well..." Harry's face suddenly brightened. "We could go to Getimimity, Kramerica! I heard Jenny say that they were the Presidents there!"

Hermione sighed. "Fine with me, but where would we find Getimimity, Kramerica?" Harry was silent, deep in thought.

"I know!" Malfoy cried, "Over there!" Everyone looked at the giant sign Malfoy was pointing to that read: GETIMIMITY, KRAMERICA. It sat over an elaborate archway with an arrow pointing down.

Harry shrugged. "Let's go in!" he announced. They all carefully stepped through the archway.

"Now what?" Ron mumbled. There was, in fact, nothing but trees surrounding them. But suddenly, in a flash of movement, hundreds of small lemurs began pouring out of the canopy around them. "We're being abducted!" Ron screeched, grabbing Malfoy by the collar of his shirt. "Why did you point at them?!"

Before any of them could move, however, the lemurs swarmed around each individual and hoisted them back up into the treetops. Harry was baffled as he looked at where his kidnappers were taking them. In front of them stood an amazing tree, towering over all the others in comparison. Even above the clamor of the lemurs, Harry could hear thousands more chattering at each other within the tree. As their captors scattered up the trunk and into the leafy canopy, Harry could feel millions of lemur eyes surveying them. Finally, they were taken into a large chamber and stuffed into separate buckets.

The crowd of lemurs then scurried out of the room, leaving them alone. Or so it seemed. Harry looked up to see a massive horse-shoe shaped table before them. On the outside edge were seated 7 people. They appeared to be humans with lemur masks on. One of them stood up and stepped toward them. She was tall, and her dark, frizzy hair sprang out of the sides of her mask. She didn't say anything, just twitched slightly and watched their prisoners.

"Um, hi?" Harry said hesitantly. The tall person walked over to Gollum, then looked at Harry.

"What is this thing?" She asked him. Harry shrugged. The masked stranger then picked up Gollum in his bucket, and tossed him out a window. "Now then. So, what are you doing here?"

"We're on a quest, but we're lost and need to find Katie and Jenny." Hermione replied from within her basket.

The person eyed her with distrust. "And what would you want with the presidents of Getimimity?"

"They're helping us on our quest." Ron said. That comment stirred up some commotion within the other seated members. Harry only heard glimpses of their conversation, like: "Thought they were shopping...." "...out so long..." "...leave the Yankee Tank for all the work..." "...uh, mayonnaise..."

"And why should we believe you?" One of them asked.

Ron glanced from side to side, and then whispered into the tall person's ear: "The popcorn beckons us."

Suddenly a smile crossed her face. "Oh, why didn't you just say so? That changes everything."

Harry glanced at Ron. "The popcorn?" he questioned.

Ron shrugged. "I found some on the ground. I thought it was theirs."

"Anyway," said the person, "My name is Chloe. This is Kristen, Hannah, the other Hannah, Jing, Alyssa, and Katie, not to be confused with Katie. This is also Katie, but not the other Katie. She's Katie. But that's Katie, too. But not Katie. That's the other Katie by the name of Katie who's one of the Katies but isn't this Katie because this is this Katie and she isn't the other Katie as you can plainly see, and (gasp) echo. We make up the Yankee Tank Council. The Yankee Tank Council is Getimimity's Senate, House of Representatives, and any other government thing that I don't know the name of. In other words, we help the 2 presidents make the decisions around here."

"So... do you know where Katie and Jenny are now?" Harry asked.

Chloe shrugged. "We thought they were getting groceries." Harry was silent. He blinked once. Then twice. Suddenly a small lemur burst through the door, screeching frantically. Chloe gasped, and then her eyes narrowed.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"Flatface the Gangster Guy." Chloe muttered to herself. "She's back."

"Who's that?" Harry asked, but Chloe ignored him.

"We must warn the lemurs!" She cried. "Code Gangbusters! Code Gangbusters! Man your stations! Quick!" In a flash, the Yankee Tank members jumped to their feet, and ran out the door. Sirens began wailing in every part of the tree. Harry, Ron, and Hermione leaped from their buckets.

"What's happening?!" Hermione screamed over the cries of lemurs and sirens. Lemurs came flooding into the room, until Chloe slammed down a button on the wall. Immediately the wall disappeared, and in its place were hundreds of lemur-sized rockets. The lemurs swarmed into the rockets, and took off into the sky.

"Come on! HURRY! Catch that Flatface! GO! GO! GO!" Chloe yelled. When the rockets and lemurs had left the room, Chloe dashed out the door, screaming orders to spare lemurs. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were left alone in the room.

Finally the smaller Hannah burst into the room. "Don't just stand there! Call Gangbusters!" she yodeled at them, pulling out a cell phone. She sighed at the dumbfounded looks on their faces, and dialed the number herself. "Testing. Testing. Testing one. Testing two. TESTING. TESTING! TESTING! WAAHHH!!! STUBBA! STUBBA! HELP! HELP US STUBBA! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Then she hung up. "Wrong number." She dialed again and calmly muttered, "Can I get the Gangbusters over here?"

Just then, the door slammed open and a lemur ran in, out of breath. "Flatface! She's here!" He cried and jumped out a window.

"She's COMING! SHE'S COMING!!!!! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!" Hannah shrieked, and jumped under the table. Then, Harry heard footsteps approaching, and nearby screams. He, Ron, and Hermione cowered in thy mercy, I mean, in the corner of the room, and Flatface appeared in the doorway. Harry was confused. Standing before them was the tiniest, most bug-eyed kitten Harry had ever seen. Her nose was positioned nearly above her eyes, giving the impression of a flat face.

"Aww," Hermione cried. "She's so cute!"

"Don't do it!" Hannah wailed from behind the table, "I know she looks innocent, but she's pure evil! She's a killer kitten, with her long, pointy, teeth!"

Suddenly, Katie and Jenny crashed through the ceiling wearing GANGBUSTER badges. When they saw Flatface, Jenny screamed with joy. "Brandy!" She cooed, scooping her up, "EEEH! You're just the sweetest little kitten!" Brandy purred in content.

Katie walked over to the wall and pressed a button. They could hear her voice over the intercom. "Flatface the Gangster Guy has been captured. Return to your posts." All of a sudden, the screaming and sirens ended instantly, and the Yankee Tank Council calmly filed into the room and sat back down.

"So, as we were saying..." Chloe said to Harry, Ron, and Hermione.