"God could this day be any slower" to her side her mother was downing the last drops of her fifth margarita. She couldn't really blame her... if she wasn't so anxious about seeing her grandfather with his new 'friend' then maybe she would have knocked back a few. Anything to make this afternoon more interesting. God, she couldn't believe she had slept in so late. However a few margaritas would have probably put her right over the edge.
"So how's Luke these days?"
"He's good" She took a gulp of her glass.
It was strange for a second Rory actually thought that her mom would let whatever comment slide but as always... Lorelai Gilmore never lets an opportunity pass.. "you'd know if you bothered to come into the diner more often"
Same old conversation, when was anything going to snap her out of this routine.
"Mom, please don't start"
With those words Lorelai glanced at her and couldn't help but feel those same feelings that she had been trying to suppress in Rory's presence all summer wash over her. How could she really stand there before her and roll her eyes at the mention of Luke's name after everything that he had done for her... for both of them. Lorelai was sick and tired of Rory being the one sulking all over town as though she was hard done by. Rory obviously had no idea and Lorelai felt stupid for thinking that one of these days Rory may actually wake up and feel remorseful. But as it is, it's been two months and nothing. Lorelai was past the Dean factor, if they wanted to be together fine but she could never forgive Dean for having an affair and dragging Rory into it. She wasn't naïve enough to think that Rory was innocent but surely one of them would wake up soon. After counting to ten in her head she tried to reason with Rory.
"Look, I know we have this kind of relationship that borders on friendly at these functions and I don't want to destroy that but Luke has been there for you for years and now all of a sudden your avoiding him like the plague? What gives? "
"You know what gives mom, whenever he sees Dean and me he looks pityingly at me and then transforms that to a special kind of glare for Dean, I'd rather just stay at Deans and order Al's, at least he keeps his opinion to himself" By the narrowing of her mothers eyes and her swift turn to stop a passing waiter she knew had gone too far with that statement. No matter how softly spoken she had said it, any bad mouthing of Luke was instantly met with a speech about how good he was. She knew that Luke had all the good intentions of the world but at the end of the day she was old enough to make her own decisions.
"You know he only wants what's best for you, he's only ever been looking out for what's best for you ever since he first met us. Don't ever forget that... you can be staying the night at Deans and Dean can be the one helping you out with whatever he helps you out with but remember that Luke was the one baking cakes and blowing up balloons for your birthdays, every year Rory he did something special for you every year and on every occasion, he wouldn't have done that if you meant nothing to him. So the next time you take it upon yourself to turn the other way you think of that."
Lorelai promptly turned and then proceeded to mingle with people that Rory knew she despised. How had this day gone from bad to worse? Now her own mother was mingling with someone named Muffy instead of standing with her mocking the Muffy's and Bambi's in this room. Maybe she should have brought Dean after all. Her moping was cut short however when she noticed her mother slowly starting to make her way to the exit and glanced back at her once. At least she wasn't leaving her here alone. Thank god for small favours. When enough time passed she too headed for the door and walked over to the jeep, carefully getting in due to the backing of the dress.
Her mother still looked tense from their little conversation so she decided to give in a little. "Look, I know this is hard... it's not all cotton candy for me either but I need this, I need Dean and I know you don't understand this but this is what I need, I'm sorry OK, I'm sorry for everything but I'm with Dean now"
"Rory, you have to ask yourself something... you can be with Dean, avoid Luke, ignore the town, even ignore me but I don't think you know what your getting yourself into here.."
"I do"
"No, let me finish, I've been wanting to say this for some time so your going to sit back and listen, do you think Dean's going to want to let you guys go on like this all year, or next year? Have you even thought about that, your dreams Rory, everything you've worked so hard for... where does he fit into them? Can you actually see him there with you, overseas, moving from one hotel to the next or do you see him in a house, looking after your 2.5 kids and you coming home once every month... or do you not see him at all? God Rory, you haven't even said that you love him... do you even love him?"
Her face remained impassive because at this point, after two months of her and Dean doing this, she had stayed of that subject whenever it came up. Dean told her everyday but she never, not because she didn't, it was just never the right time. To have her mother ask her though was something different. She honestly didn't know, she supposed she did but then it hadn't grown any from when she last loved him. But what did it matter anyway? Dean loved her and he wanted to be with her. When her mother saw only her blank face she carried on.
"... cause Dean gave up a lot for Rory, he never should have gotten married to Lindsay if he was still hung up on you but he did and now he's made a divorcee out of a 19 yr old, a 19 year old that didn't deserve it no matter how annoying she is so you can go be with him, but you think of all of that first, it's not always about you Rory."
Lorelai slowly faced the front and then put the key in the ignition... God if someone
had told her last year that this would happen she would have laughed right up until the time it did. Jess was one thing... she may not have liked the kid but for all his faults she at least knew that in his own bizarre way he liked and respected Rory and when he left, well, that was all for the better. They were getting too serious anyway but never would she have ever thought that Dean would be as stupid to start something like this.
Rory sighed and then faced the front herself thinking of all of the questions her mother had asked of her. Sure, she didn't love Dean, not as much as he loved her but there were feelings there and that's why they were dating. She didn't need this, any of this, she was with Dean cause she wanted to be and no amount of guilt trips about how they went about it will make her change her decision. He loved her and that's all that mattered. She slumped back in her seat and the rest of the ride was in silence. Her mother dropped her off at Plum so she figured that was her cue to give her some space. As she walked up to the apartment she stopped on the landing and started tapping her fingers on the rail. She could go in there and have to be all happy or she could go for a walk and calm down. Realising that the answer was fairly obvious she turned and made her way back down the stairs. As she made her way down the street she felt like a kid all of a sudden.
For once she felt like a kid again, it was late afternoon, the once easy breeze had a snap to it but she was wrapped in her own world, she was neither warm nor cold, angry or happy. As she approached the bridge, she sat down and enjoyed the sun while it lasted, from the greying clouds up above she was sure that the soon to be drizzle would turn into a full on downpour. In any case, she decided to bask in the remaining rays that the sun provided, after all she could always make a run for it if the clouds parted. In this moment as she looked up she was at peace. She positioned herself on the uneven surface so she was lying on her back but just as she closed her eyes and lain her head down on the boards she heard soft footsteps on the hardened wood.
A/N : I figured I'd write this to clear some things up. Not a Narco. Kind of just seeing where this is going. I can pretty much write whenever so it will get finished. It's just whether or not any of it is good. Umm... spelling and such, I'm not from America so the way we spell flavour and flavor differently so I don't need to be told that my spelling sucks and as for the story itself. It's more about a person or persons thoughts. They are pretty much oblivious to everything else. Kind of wrapped in their own world so to the people who actually like a plot, this story isn't for you. It's basically just me working towards what one of my ideal endings is.