The next few days passed. Sometimes the moments seemed to fly past and sometimes they dragged onwards as seconds became minutes and minutes became hours.
Throughout all my lessons I sat quietly, mulling over things in my head. The main thing being Lily. We hadn't spoken since the evening in the Astronomy tower - not a word, a smile or "pass the peas please, Potter". Nothing. Nowt. At points, I half wondered if our conversation had been a mere figment of my overactive imagination.
I think the other guys noticed too. Sirius, in particular, seemed to be keeping somewhat of a distance from me. Not in a bad way, just letting me breath, which is all I needed really.
On one Thursday evening I had volunteered to tutor some of the Lower School in Transfiguration. Well, actually Remus, had volunteered me. He said it was because I was Head Boy and I needed to be a 'role-model to the younger pupils in the house'. I'm not really the kind who willing spends time with kids. They scare me a bit, although I know I used to be one. It's the way that some of them still believe at eleven that the world is this perfect place where everything is good. It seemed almost sinister to me.
"So, you say transforming spells are adapted for cross-species switches, how exactly?"
"What do you mean you can't pick what animal you are when you become an animagus?! Does the animal reflect your personality at all?"
Questions were poured down on me from all directions, all trying to catch my whole attention.
"OKAY!!!" I shouted eventually. Several of the first and second years recoiled. "PLEASE! JUST...I dunno...LISTEN! Right - one at a time.
"First years, you have an essay on inanimate objects to complete, all of you sit at that table there.
"Second years, make a start on your practising - McGonagall said some of the hedgehogs still had pages at the end of your lesson.
"And Third years, there are some books on the Animagus over by those armchairs, why don't you start taking some notes?
"I'll be going round to you all, year by year - okay?" They all stood motionless, glancing nervously at their friends out of the corner of their eyes.
I sighed. "Off you go then!" And flapped my hand at them as they all scuttled off to their various corners. I whipped off my glasses and polished them on my shirt. This was going to take a while.
"Having fun there, Jamesie?" called Remus from across the room, a smirk upon his face. I swear at that moment, I was ready to wring his neck for forcing this horror upon me. I settled for just glaring. Homicide could wait.
Eventually I got the younger students settled and soon only the sound of quill on parchment could be heard from them, punctuated with the occasional "James, could you help me?"
"Doing well over here James," Remus strolled over, flopping down onto the small sofa I was lolling on. "Such a people person."
"Yeah, Rem, that's just so me." I rolled my eyes jokingly and closed my copy of Numerology And Grammatica that was resting on my lap. Lowering my voice to avoid eavesdroppers, I turned to Moony, "All set for tonight?"
He sighed. Tonight was the full moon, he'd been feeling ill all week and constant moodswings coupled with many PMS jokes from Sirius didn't help matters. Moony nodded sullenly, "Don't wanna." he sulked like a four year old, half-joking.
"S'Ok, Moony," I comforted, "The three of us'll be there. We still haven't checked out that hidden lake properly yet. Y'know the one we found last month in the Forest all surrounded by those huge blue-grey pillars. Bet Dumbledore knows what it is."
"Not as though we can really ask, is it now, Prongs?" Remus let his head rest against the back of the sofa so he was at the perfect angle for me to look right up his nose.
"Moony, Moony, Moony," I shook my head and tutted sarcastically, "That's why we're going exploring!" I beamed toothily and I saw Remus's face soften and become less serious. Always a better thing.
"Sounds good to me. I'll be off now, alright?"
"I'm sure I'll survive without you Remus." swinging my legs up to where Remus had been sitting and stretching out, all 6ft 3 of me, like some giant cat. And with that, Moony walked off, leaving me once again in the company of nearly twenty preteens.
Later that night, exhausted, I crawled up to my room. Apart from anything else, I needed sleep. I pulled off my shirt and wrinkled my nose. I stank. Being the complete bloke that I am, I timidly sniffed the armpit of my top. Urgh. Why did I always have to give in to mindless curiosity? Sometimes it was painful being male. All these instincts I couldn't help but act on, like sniffing clothes and scratching 'down-there' and becoming a complete imbecile around girls. I wondered if Lily thought I was too typically... masculine. Probably.
Sighing, I threw myself into the shower, the hot water rolled off my body in waves. The lack of glasses and the gathering steam in the bathroom made my vision blurred. The thing I love about showers is the way the water seems to wash away all worries like sweat and dirt. It was in these moments, alone in the bathroom, high in the air above a Quidditch field, wandering through the Forbidden Forest under the moon, that I felt most myself. I could think clearly, although I couldn't see as well.
After a while, I stepped out from behind the novelty Gryffindor shower curtain, Sirius had found in Diagon Alley a while back, I wiped the misty mirror above the sink leaving a trace of water droplets running down the shiny surface. Wrapping a fluffy cream towel around myself, I peered at my reflection in the mirror.
Clearish skin. Hairy eyebrows. Hair badly in need of a trim. Squinting hazelnut eyes. An alright thing to see looking out at you every morning, I guess. I tugged at the lids of my drooping eyes, all set for falling into my warm, four-poster bed and dragging the red velvet curtains tight around me...
"Oh, Jaaaaaames! Prongsies! Guess what time it is!!!"
My head slumped against the tiled wall. I'd completely forgotten. I never forget things, at least not in the space of a few hours. It was Sirius's voice that had screeched into my peace reminding me of the full moon that would soon haunt the night sky.
"Fine. I'm a-coming." I called in reply.
"I bet you say that to all the girls," smirked Sirius as I flung myself into the bedroom, still clad in just a towel. I hurled a nearby pillow at Padfoot for that comment. It missed completely and sailed across a hit the lumpy form of Peter asleep on his bed. I hadn't noticed him when I'd come it. Now he made a weird groaning noise and muttered something under his breath.
"C'mon, Wormtail!" chirped Sirius, leaving me alone to dry myself and pull on a clean white t-shirt that I was sure had shrunk in the wash. Behind me I could hear Padfoot pounce on Peter's bed and being jumping up and down on the springy mattress.
"Gerroff! Lemme 'lone! Tired..." mumbled Peter.
I pulled on a pair of baggy jeans that fell over my bare feet to the wooden floor. Grabbing my beat-up trainers and slinging a jacket over my shoulders, I strode out the room calling a quick "Hurry up!" to the two others. I ran swiftly down the stairs that led to the boys dormitories and nearly tripped and fell headlong into the Gryffindor common room. Lily seemed to have appeared right in front of me as I had descended the spiral staircase.
I regained my footing and offered a quick apology. She just looked at me, one eyebrow slightly raised, suspiciously. Her arms were folded in front of her as she fixed me with a withering stare. Oh, Lordy - what had I done now?
"It's past curfew, Potter. Where are you going in such a hurry?" she cocked her head to the side like an alsatian debating on whether or not to savagely maul the small creature before it. My eyes widened in panic.
"I've got something to do, Lily - " I tried but she just cut me off before I could elaborate any further.
"No Potter. You have nothing to do except return to your dormitory. Now." She was being so cold to me. I just didn't understand women sometimes. It was as though we'd never spoken civilly on the battlements a few days ago. And, to be honest, it was starting to piss me off.
"You know what Lily. I don't care. See ya later." And I sprinted off and out of the portrait hole. Great. Lost a good few Brownie points there. Then the realisation dawned that I'd forgotten my invisibility cloak. I was just about to go back for it, hoping I wouldn't bump into an angry Lily, when Peter and Sirius fell out of the portrait hole with the cloak and our map.
The map was our own creation. The Marauders Map. It showed all of the school and its grounds and also showed teachers and certain people like Prefects and Slytherin's up on it. This allowed us to dodge and slither around the school relatively undetected. It had taken us nearly a whole school year to get it finished in fourth year, plus a load of research to work out how to conceal it well enough so only us four would know what it was.
"Honestly, James!" tutted Peter dragging himself up and handing me both the map and the cloak, "How irresponsible of you! And what did you do to Lily, by the way?" Sirius looked up from the floor where he'd landed moments before and joined in,
"Yeah, she was stalking around cursing you and kicking stuff. Totally OTT, if you ask me. Did you insult her hair or something else prattish of you?"
I just glared at him.
We made our way, under the cloak, across the school and then pressed gently against a certain stone in a long corridor. The wall sank back and slide to the left, leaving a small opening that we slipped through single-file. Now we were in the passageway, we didn't need the cloak anymore and just kept an eye on the grounds to see if anyone was crossing towards the Whomping Willow.
Each time we made this journey, the three of us, it always surprised me how long it took to actually reach the roots of the Willow. Nearly ten minutes. Remus would always go on ahead with Madam Pomfrey - no one knew we went with dear old Moony. But someone had to keep him sane during those lonely nights.
Although he never told us, it hurt when he changed. And we knew it. We heard it and it would tear at my heartstrings in a way that rarely happened with me. The simple knowledge of his pain killed me.
We arrived at the swaying, swiping, slashing roots, we seemed to go into a strange sort of autopilot. The cloak and map were tucked away in a small gap in the wall as Wormtail changed. His body slid down into itself, his nose lengthen and became pointed, and his ash blonde hair spread across his shoulders and covered him growing greyer by the second. Me and Sirius stood and waited together, just going through the motions.
No matter how much Sirius said he liked the full moon, I knew it unnerved him, the whole werewolf thing. It scared him that Remus couldn't hold himself back as he usually could. Remus was always the one in the most control of his actions out of all of us, but the moon changed everything.
We walked together past the still roots and upto the door of the Shrieking Shack, deep underground.
I smiled once at Sirius and we transformed together. James and Sirius were gone leaving behind a large shaggy black dog - Padfoot - and a tall graceful white stag - Prongs.
Padfoot reached up and pushed the door to the old house open.
A low growl announced our arrival and great stomping footsteps overhead. Around us dust fell from the ceiling onto the torn battered furniture below. In my mind I gulped uneasily. This was always the worst part of the evening. Even after nearly three years of full moons, the approach of Remus in wolf form still terrified me.
After a minute or so, I saw the glowing yellow eyes at the top of the wide staircase. Remus was crouched down low, as though about to pounce, and slithered down the steps cautiously. He walked forward on light silent paws that left tracks in the thick floor dust. Me and Padfoot bowed our Animagus heads and waited whilst the Wolf, Remus, sniffed at our exposed necks...
The night air ruffled my fur. It was a weird sensation. The closest human feeling I could think of was as though someone was stroking my stomach and back with gentle cool hands, rippling up and down my spine.
The four of us walked together under the canopy of the Forbidden Forest, the full moon winking playfully down at us through the odd break in the dense branches. It was how everything should be.
The four of us together.
The Marauders.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.
It was how we spent each full moon, exploring the forest to add to both our own knowledge and that of the Map.
I don't know how long it took us but soon we reached the glade with the pool I had spoken to Remus about earlier. It had definitely been one of our best finds so far and all of us were quite stumped at how we had never found it before or seen it from the castle.
Seven great pillars rose high into the sky taller than the tallest tree and all a luminescent pale blue. The columns all surrounded an oval pool, or mini lake, that seemed shallow and free of wildlife and plants.
Stepping forward to the edge, I looked down to see my animal self reflected up at me, as perfect and unruffled as the face of a mirror. Sleek white fur covered my muzzle, deep chocolatey eyes framed with black rims on the eyelids that reminded me suspiciously of my glasses and tall, twisting antlers that stretched up high above my snowy head. I loved becoming Prongs.
Beside me, Moony crept up to the bank and dipped his scraggly front paw into the water. As the ripple moved into the centre of the lake and soft whisper filled the air.
It was a human voice and my stag ears couldn't understand it, but Moony went into full Werewolf mode. He growled low in his throat, his hackles raised and saliva streaming down his raw gums. Remus spun round, body low, tail whipping the night breeze as the voice continued to speak always in a whisper with a steady rhythm like a heartbeat.
Moony sprung forward. The muscles in his long spindly legs bunched as he loped quietly towards the dark trees that surrounded the clearing. But not a thing moved. Moony rested back on his haunches before following Padfoot, Wormtail resting on his back, out the way we had entered the glade.
I stood alone there for a while, the voice continued to speak. It seemed as though the voice could reach no further than the trees and that the mutterings were confined to those near the pillars. It was a strange thing to have in a forest, but then again... this was Hogwarts. I made a mental note to return sometime when we were in our human forms before joining the other three on our way back.
***
"UP! UP! GET UP ALL OF YOU! NOW!!!"
A scream broke into my silent sleep and light flooded over my tightly shut eyelids as I heard the hangings around my bed being ripped open. In the bed next to mine Sirius yelled back at the disturbing voice.
I curled up under the eiderdown, hoping against all hope that if I remained still the shouting might just go away. However, I had no such luck as the eiderdown, sheet and blanket that covered me were promptly torn off my body. I had no choice but to wake up.
Semi-conscious, I rubbed the sleep dust out of the corner of my eyes and scrabbled on the bedside table for my glasses. As I slipped them on the dormitory around me came in focus and at the foot of my bed, hands on hips, stood Lily, glaring at me, Sirius and Peter.
"LILY!" I yelped, no doubt going bright red as I lunged for something - anything - to hide myself with. Afterall, I don't exactly sleep in my best; that morning it was nothing except a pair of very baggy black boxers. Finding nothing I settled for holding my right leg up to my chest, bent at the knee, hoping it would hide at least some of me.
"And just where were you last night?" she demanded, still clutching my bed sheets in one arm. None of us made a sound. "WELL? Any of you going to answer me?"
"Sorry Lily -" I began but she just marched up to me brandishing my blanket in my face as I recoiled.
"Sorry?! You're SORRY are you Potter?! Is that all you have to say for yourself? SORRY?!?!?!" She flung her arms out, nearly knocking Peter's head off in the process, "McGonagall came round last night to check everything was in order here - I had to cover for you three! And I didn't have to, you know! Now, McGonagall thinks I might be abusing my power as Head Girl and all you can say is 'Sorry Lily'! WELL IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DO YOU HEAR ME!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEAD BOY JAMES! GOD KNOWS WHY BUT YOU HAVE RESPOSIBILTIES NOW AND THEY DO NOT INVOLVE YOU GALLAVANTING OFF IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!?!?!?!"
"Yes Lily," the three of us murmured.
"Good. Well, starting tomorrow if any of you step one foot out of line then you will have me to answer to - understand?"
"Yes Lily."
Lily made to leave the room before turning and adding to me, "Oh and, James, don't hold your leg like that next time - I could see right up your shorts." and then slammed the door behind her.
My cheeks burned as Sirius and Peter burst out into hysterical laughter at my tomato-like face. Glancing at the clock (3:30pm) I grabbed my weekend clothes and stormed out leaving the other two still rolling in mirth off their beds. I hurtled down the steps of the boys wing and bid a hasty retreat to the kitchens for a very late lunch.
The house elves scurried around as I sat at a table in the corner watching. They knew me quite well now and were used to me joining them occasionally to just watch and nibble at a few things.
As I absentmindedly chewed on some pasta the kitchen door swung open to reveal Miss Perfect herself. I glared sullenly at the table top as Lily battled against the elves to cross the kitchen and sat down in front of me. I continued to glare at the surface of the table but began wishing I'd thought of something more interesting to stare at.
"James?"
"What? Oh, I'm sorry Lily, I didn't notice you there," my voice dripping with sarcasm, "You'll have to speak up a bit. I can't hear you properly unless you scream."
"James, don't -"
"Pardon?"
"James, I'm sorry, okay?"
"I don't think sorry's good enough - oh, no, wait - that's you." I shovelled more pasta into my mouth and glowered at her.
"I had to James!"
I swallowed, "No, Lily, you didn't. You didn't HAVE to do anything. You could've just left it, like any other person would've, but, no! You just have to make it personal, don't you? And, anyway..." here I trailed off and instead averted my gaze to my half eaten bowl of pasta, then muttered, "You didn't have to make that remark about my shorts."
"Is that what this is all about?" she looked incredulous, "About me seeing up your shorts?"
"It's more the fact you said you could see up them and that Sirius and Peter will now tease me about that for the rest of my life. From now on if I say anything even jokingly offensive to them they'll just say, 'Well, at least Lily Evans didn't look up my shorts!' "
"What's so bad about me looking up your shorts? I mean, there are worse people, right?" Her face seemed so worried all of a sudden.
"I don't mind...er, I mean," catching myself and burying my head in my hands, "I...erm, mean, erm... yeah," I finished, "yeah, there are many worse people, I guess..."
Lily looked jubilant and I couldn't help but grin cheekily up at her. "So, Evans, like what you see?" I said slyly, expecting her to blush madly and stammer something to me. But I was mistaken.
"So what if I did, Potter?"
My jaw dropped. Literally. Lily even leaned across the table and pushed my mouth shut. 'Wow, Lily should not lean like that' came a small voice in my head.
Although I was slightly ruffled an idea had begun to form in my head to get Sirius back.
"Y'know Lily. I might have a way for you to make this up to me."
"Really? Sure, I'll do anything!"
"Anything?"
"Fire away."
"Okay, all you have to do is..." and I leaned closer and began to whisper in her ear.