CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE - DIRTY LITTLE SECRET
After the destructive dinner Friday night, Dabi had not spoken to or heard from Shigaraki for two whole days. He tried to contact his boyfriend, calling, and texting him relentlessly, but his attempts were completely shut down. And to make things worse, about halfway through Sunday it seemed Shigaraki had had enough of his badgering and decided to block his number. DMs on Instagram and Tik Tok did not fare any better. He exhausted all his avenues.
Monday morning rolled around, and Dabi was dreading the inevitable reunion with his boyfriend. Not because he didn't want to see Shigaraki but because he did not know where he stood with him. Were they even still dating? In Dabi's mind, that answer was a hard yes, but Shigaraki had been so mad. Or maybe disappointed was the better adjective for how he was feeling. Whatever it was, Dabi knew he had royally fucked up. Again. His only hope and prayer was that Shigaraki was just mad. Dabi could manage mad; he could offer Shigaraki time; he could make things right with some reassuring affection - kisses and hugs. If he could just get a chance to explain what happened and why he said what he did, it could still work out.
Couldn't it?
Blowing out a hard breath, Dabi pushed his fingers back through his messy bed hair. He hadn't bothered making sure he looked presentable for school, and he was sure his tie was knotted incorrectly, and his jacket was a wrinkled mess. But his appearance was the least of his concerns. He was too preoccupied with searching for Shigaraki, hoping he could catch his boyfriend before morning classes started so they could sit together and chat awhile. He checked all of Shigaraki's usual hangouts and even asked around, but no one had seen Shigaraki. Not yet anyway.
About ten minutes before the bell, Dabi had all but abandoned his quest to locate his boyfriend when a small glimmer of hope, in the form of Shigaraki's current BFF, presented itself. Up ahead of him in the hall was Kai. Regrettably, he was walking alone but he did have his head buried in his phone so maybe he was chatting with Shigaraki and could at least give Dabi some details on his boyfriend's whereabouts.
"Yo, Chisaki." Dabi called out, dodging, and weaving through the traffic of students separating them.
Kai did not stop, nor did he acknowledge Dabi. He just kept walking. Dabi wasn't sure if he hadn't heard him or was purposely ignoring him. It was probably the latter; they did not have a good rapport.
"Hey, Kai. Hold up!" He tried again.
This time, his classmate did stop, and he swung an annoyed glare over his shoulder to look at Dabi.
"What?" He said, clearly not wanting to stop and chat, especially not with Dabi.
"Have you heard from Shigaraki?"
"Maybe."
"Where is he?"
"Weird that you don't know."
Dabi sighed. "Just, tell me where he is, and I'll leave you alone."
Kai stared at him blankly. "Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you."
"Really?" Exasperated, Dabi groaned and shook his head as he turned to leave. "Okay. Whatever."
"Asshole."
Dabi brushed off the insult as he walked away. He wouldn't give his classmate the satisfaction of knowing it bothered him, but more importantly getting into a fight with Kai was just not worth his energy.
Huffing in annoyance, he stomped down the hall. Plan B was to wait right outside the door to the building and catch Shigaraki on his way in, before he made it to class, without having to run into or talk to any more friends of his boyfriends that were not very fond of him.
Unfortunately, he didn't get very far, and his plan B was also thwarted. Up ahead of him, students were crowding the corridor, packed in the narrow hallway like sardines in a tin can and blocking his way. They were creating quite a commotion too. Excited whispers and delighted shrieks echoed through the halls, the volume increasing as more and more students joined in on the hysteria. Some even had their phones out and were holding them above their heads, trying to snap pictures and videos.
What the hell was going on?
Dabi immediately felt irritated. He could only assume all this noise had something to do with a visit from a pro-hero, that usually got everyone stirred up, but seeing All Might or Endeavor or any one of the other many pro-heroes at the school wasn't really that unusual, so why was everyone so excited about it that day?
Only seconds later, the answer presented itself.
The mass of students began to disperse, shifting to either side of the corridor as a lone figure emerged from the ocean of people, and just like Moses parting the red sea, the students started to gently close in behind. An eerie silence followed.
Shigaraki.
Dabi couldn't take his eyes off his boyfriend as he slowly walked towards him, with no urgency in his very deliberate steps. And despite the large number of eyes following and gawking at him as he passed, Shigaraki looked so completely natural and confident, like being treated like this saintly or celebrity figure was a normal occurrence. Which it was absolutely not. It was far from normal. And Dabi suddenly realized that this was the first time the large population of the school had seen Shigaraki this close in person since it was revealed that he was Nana Shimura's grandson the week before - it explained the horde. Clearly, everyone thought Shigaraki's Shimura blood was pretty extraordinary, they were physically awed and amazed, staring at him like he was a shiny new toy and not just another regular UA High student that they had seen a hundred times before.
Dabi understood the allure. Shigaraki was… beyond common words - almost ethereal with his snow-white hair and dazzling ruby red eyes. There was nothing commonplace about him. He always thought Shigaraki was over and above good looking but now it seemed so did the entire fucking school. The changes in his appearance, and to a lesser extent - his attitude and poise - had not gone unnoticed. They couldn't take their eyes off him and wanted to get as close to him as they could.
Dabi swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very anxious. What was he going to do? What was he going to say? He had been thinking about it all weekend, and working on his speech all morning, playing it over and over in his head. He was going to say he was sorry. Yes. That was a good start. A sincere apology for being a complete ass. Shigaraki deserved that, he deserved more than that. The world. But then? Fuck! Dabi lost all train of thought when Shigaraki's brilliantly intense red eyes met his lovesick gaze, and his heart began to beat rapidly in his chest.
"Hey," Dabi said, smiling tightly as Shigaraki approached him. "That's quite an entran-"
Shigaraki threw his arm out, the palm of his hand connecting with Dabi's chest and effectively pushing him aside. He did not acknowledge Dabi any further and continued walking leisurely down the hall, passing him without a single spoken word.
Dabi gasped in shock as he staggered backwards a few steps. The disregard had occurred so quickly and so unexpectedly that Dabi wasn't even sure what had happened, and it took him a few seconds to regain his composure.
Shigaraki had completely blown him off.
"Tomura?" Dabi tried again.
Nothing.
Shigaraki did not respond to his name, he didn't even pause or flinch, and instantly Dabi knew something was very wrong. His heart sank right down into his stomach as he watched Shigaraki retreat down the hall to meet up with Kai, and the reality of just how much Dabi had screwed up really hit him. Hard.
Without a single moment of hesitation, Dabi took off after his boyfriend, hoping he could convince Shigaraki to at the very least confront him. They had to talk. Dabi needed to know if there was any possibility for him to make amends or if Shigaraki was even open to the idea. He had to try; it wasn't too late to try.
"Shigaraki. Please stop." Dabi asked, grabbing desperately at his boyfriend's arm in a last-ditch effort.
Finally, Shigaraki came to an abrupt halt. From where Dabi was standing, he could see the subtle movement of Shigaraki's chin as it lowered to take in Dabi's perilous clutch.
"Take your hand off me." He said in warning, his voice calm yet assertive.
Dabi was again astounded, this time by the level of threat in Shigaraki's tone. This wasn't the Shigaraki he was used to; this was a completely different version of him. More menacing and perverse than even before he and Dabi had started dating. He was almost cold.
Dabi brushed his thumb against Shigaraki's arm. "Baby, ple-"
"Let go of me." Shigaraki interjected before Dabi could get two words in, cautioning him for a second time.
"Okay, okay. I'm letting go." Dabi tempered and retracted his hand. "Look, I know you're ma-"
"You have no idea how I feel." Shigaraki snapped, cutting him off.
Dabi frowned. "Can you please look at me?" He pleaded. "We need to talk about this."
Again, Shigaraki softly turned his chin, only enough that Dabi could see the elegant side profile of his face. His light hair fell entrancingly over his eyes, but he didn't move any further or look directly at Dabi. He refused to.
"Talk?" Shigaraki replied, his head tilting in an extremely ominous way. "About what?"
"About what happened last week." Dabi exclaimed, still shocked by his boyfriend's coldness. "Us. Just give me a minute, let me explain what happened."
Shigaraki began to chuckle, the sound was flat and cynical though, a humorous laugh laced with dark indignation. "There is no us anymore. You made that very clear."
Dabi clamped his mouth shut, his lips a tight line. It was all he could do to prevent himself from saying something completely stupid. Instincts told him to disagree, to defend himself against his own words and his actions, but history suggested that would not go over well with Shigaraki. He was clearly tired of Dabi's justifications and excuses and Dabi understood that, even if he thought what he had to say was reasonable.
"You've solved all your problems, Dabi. The entire school, your family, nobody needs to know about us anymore. I am not going to be your dirty little secret. You're free of that burden."
"Tomura, you are not-" Dabi swallowed and pushed his fingers back through his hair. "Fuck!"
Shigaraki stood still and quiet for a moment like he was contemplating what to say or how to end their conversation, but no words came and he started to just… walk away. A silent end.
Dabi was frozen in place, in an utter state of shock and rendered completely useless. He had not expected that… that level of apathy from Shigaraki and would've preferred anger or violence over his palpable detachment. But Shigaraki had been emotionless, he had already built up his walls and shut Dabi out, there was nothing more he was going to give.
"Tomura?"
As Dabi watched Shigaraki retreat, he did see the subtle forward lurch of his shoulders, like he was curling defensively in on himself, and his head lowered in a very dejected way. Shigaraki felt a lot more emotion than he physically showed, and it hurt Dabi. Badly. He quite literally felt sick.
"Fuck!" He blurted out in anguish and slammed his closed fist against the closest locker.
He didn't go after Shigaraki but simply watched him walk slowly away, towards their classroom with Kai in tow, and not far behind, the mob of people who were so enthralled with him. Students bumped into Dabi as they passed but didn't offer him a second glance as they too disappeared down the hall.
Dabi suddenly felt like an empty shell, one that was quickly filling up with a dark and heavy sludge - of anger and misery, a toxic combination that muddled his ability to think and rationalize logically. He had no idea what he was supposed to do next.
With a deep, guttural groan, he knotted his fingers into his hair and fell hard back against the row of lockers beside him. He knew he had made a huge mistake and even stupider decisions, but that couldn't be it. It couldn't be the end.
No. He was not going to let this go without a fight. He loved Shigaraki and wouldn't let him go, he couldn't! But was he ready to risk it all? What was he willing to do to get Shigaraki back?
Those thoughts filtered through his head as he stared blandly at the lockers opposite him. And then, the bell rang, shrill right above his head. He closed his eyes and blew out a sedative breath, this was the start of a long grueling week and Dabi had a lot of work to do.