Chapter Five

Spike sat in the shadows, shaking, although it wasn't cold. He was also one of the undead - which meant that temperature shouldn't worry him. But the last thing that was clear to him, was the fact that he should have a heartbeat.

He had two sets of memories inside of him - and the one of his life as a vampire was slowly starting to fade. It now seemed an impossibility, like a dream.

Suddenly, a small shaft of sunlight filled the room in which he was chained. He flinched, although the light wasn't strong as it was sunset. He tried to move backwards, but there was nowhere left for him to go.

At first, he didn't notice the man standing before him, because he was too intent on wondering why he was afraid of the sun. Then he looked up. "I know you," he whispered. The man nodded. "Yes Spike. You do".

There was a silence. Spike shook his head. "I don't remember. What have you done to me?" Quentin looked at the vampire before him. He was filled with something between pity and disgust. "I think you know already".

"Yes I think I know," Spike murmured. "But why…"

"All will be made clear soon," Quentin replied coolly. "Once the slayer comes to terms with what's happened she'll seek you out. She has to you see. It's the only way".

"Buffy. She's a slayer…" said Spike. Then he heard the screams once more. They were always there of course. All his victims finally getting a chance to seek their revenge. But he had been thinking about Buffy and now this man had diverted his attention. But thoughts of Buffy made him feel even more guilty. He remembered now. He had kidnapped her friends - hurt them. He had tried to kill her….

"Oh God it hurts. Everything…it hurts so much…."

"Yes I imagine it would do," said Quentin, narrowing his eyes. " I'd get used to it if I were you".

………………………………............................................................................................................................

"We're surrounded," Buffy answered her friends. "Great," sighed Xander. "Buffy - I hate to say this, but we kind of have to work with Spike. I mean, you know I can't stand the guy - ok - I hate him worse then The master, the mayor, Angelus and all the evil in the world rolled into one - but it's looking like we've got no other choice".

"I agree with Xander," added Willow. "Hey - you know Cordelia left for LA to become famous? She should have stuck around for a while - wait - did I just say that?"

Buffy chanced a look out of the window. To her horror, the number of journalists and reporters had increased. " All of our neighbours are out there!" she groaned. "This is getting ridiculous. Ok, ok. I guess I'm on board with the finding Spike plan - if I have to be. There's just one problem. How?"

"How what?" asked her mother, also taking a turn at looking out of the window through a gap in the closed curtains. "How are we supposed to find him? I mean, the council said he'd be here by tomorrow. I'm guessing we can't wait that long". Giles and Willow shared a look. "What?" said Buffy. "I know that look. That's the - we have a plan but we know it might go wrong so we won't tell Buffy look!"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Fine. There's no use trying to lie to you is there? "We could try and locate Spike. But my magic abilities aren't exactly of the highest level Buffy. It could backfire and - we'll need something that belongs to him - so…"

"That rules that out then," said Buffy. "We have to find another way".

"Wait I've got it!" said Joyce and they all turned to look at her. "You do?" said Buffy. "Yes. There's one of Spike's old lighters lying around somewhere. Remember when I thought he was good and invited him in that time?"

"You mean, when he tried to kill us all just to get a lousy spell from Willow so he could get his girlfriend back? That time? I can't believe you kept that in our house!"

"Calm down Buffy. It's only a lighter!" exclaimed Xander. "Yeah - but it's his - never mind".

"What? It's a good thing I kept it now isn't it? Besides, I didn't know it was his Buffy. I just kept it for lighting candles. Is that a crime?" Buffy sighed. "Ok, so what else do you need?"

"Just some basic ingredients from the magic box. But …" she gestured outside. "I guess I'll sneak out the back later. It's not like they'll be out there all night or anything, right?" Buffy answered.

………………………………...........................................................................................................................

"Ok, maybe I was wrong," she muttered. It was now black outside, sunset long over. "The magic box stays open late, right Will?" Willow nodded. "For special customers. It unofficially stays open until midnight".

"They're not safe out there," continued Buffy. "Ok, I have to do this now".

"I'll go with you. Just so you know what you're looking for," said Willow, standing up. Buffy nodded and they sneaked out through the back door.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

The Slayer. She was a slayer. Even though his memories were still confused, Spike knew enough to understand what that meant. She was a champion. Someone who fought evil for whatever higher powers were out there. She fought creatures like him.

It used to be so black and white - they way he remembered it anyway. She was on one side of the fight, himself on another. They hated each other with a fiery passion. It was the way it was supposed to be. But now, he only wanted to be near her. To hear her say that it would turn out alright. He was so confused about what was going on - she was the only thing that was clear to him. The only thing he remembered. That had to count for something.

Maybe he just wanted to make amends. Tell her what a fool he had been, hear her forgiveness. That was the key, he decided. To make the pain go away. Forgiveness. But he knew that as long he was in this world, that would never happen. But having this soul burning beneath his skin, maybe that would help.

He knew now what had happened to him. He just didn't know why, or what to do about it. He didn't know how this girl - this slayer - fit into everything, or why he couldn't stop thinking about her. He just had to hope the answers would become clear to him soon.