Chapter six

Buffy signalled for Willow to stop as they reached the magic box. "What's wrong Buffy?" she asked in concern.

"I don't know. My spider sense is tingling. It's like we're being followed?" Willow glanced around. "I don't feel anything," she answered. "No of course you don't. You're not the slayer are you? It's always up to me to watch out for these things isn't it?" Buffy snapped without meaning to.

"What's wrong with you?" asked her friend, her eyes wide. Buffy's gaze softened - but only a little. "Sorry Will. It's just - this has all just caught me off guard you know? I'm having to cope with everything that happened on graduation day - that's not something you just forget about, plus the fact that Angel left me and…"

"But Buffy, whenever we try to talk to you about it, you back away. It's like you can't talk about it - at least not to us. You know we're always there for you, right?" Willow looked hurt and Buffy felt guilty, so she dropped the conversation like she always did. "We'd better keep moving," she murmured.

Buffy then found her thoughts turning regretfully back towards Spike as they had done frequently since this whole mess began - just a few hours ago.

This shouldn't be happening. Why should all my attention be focused on Spike? It was just wrong on so many levels that she was depending on him, hoping he came through for them when the time came. It was sick.

As they searched for the right ingredients for the spell, gathering up the crystals, herbs and candles, Buffy found herself picturing him - and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't banish him from her mind. She saw his blond hair, almost white. His piercing blue eyes that a person could get lost in if they looked for too long. The outline of his body in all that leather - she suddenly froze as she re-evaluated what she had just been thinking. Where had that come from? Where had it been leading? This was Spike she was picturing here. Spike who had tried to kill her, who had hurt her friends and family. Who had killed two slayers and God knew how many others. How she could even begin to think of him as attractive made her ill.

"Buffy?" there it was again. The concern and pity that was all she saw in her friends eyes now. Willow probably thinks I'm wondering about Angel. God, I should be thinking about him!

"I'm fine," she told Willow for the thousandth time. I'm only thinking about that monster because I have to, she told herself firmly. So what if he has a soul now? So what if his trapped somewhere against his will probably helpless and confused and feeling all the pain and guilt of what his done? That's no excuse! I'm thinking about this because I need to find him to help us. Or - it's because you're missing Angel and you're lonely, a part of her thought. But she shut out that voice inside her. "Let's just get this over with," she muttered.

On the way back, Buffy paused yet again. Amongst the sounds of the night she distinctly heard the sound of something different. "Damn it there it is again". She turned round but could see nothing. "I know you're out there. Why don't we stop with the mind games now?" There was a silence, then she saw the face of a vampire before her - five actually.

"See - this is more like it!" she said. "Regular old evil. I can kill you guys right? I mean, I don't have to worry about you having a soul or anything? Coz you know, for a long while I only thought one of you guys had a soul and that I could deal with. But now - now it's all confusion because my enemy has been given one and now I have to work with him and it's all driving me crazy!"

With that last word she leaped into the fray with a roundhouse kick that sent the one in front of her flying backwards. She then ducked the vampire beside her as he sloppily lunged towards her and staked him perfectly. She tried hard not to breath as the vampire's ash blew past her and faded into the night. Then she whirled round and kicked the one she had knocked down earlier in the chest and staked the other two in quick succession. After trading several blows with the final monster, he was taken care of as well. "Why can't you all be the same? When did it get so complicated?" she whispered after she was done.

As soon as all was still again, she suddenly heard the sound of applause in the distance. She turned around to see that some of the press and her neighbours had followed her. Most just stared in shock, but the youngest in the group were yelling out and clapping wildly. "That was cool - how'd you do that?" One of the kids asked. "Is it part of a movie?" another one said.

Gradually they all started to move towards her. This is worse then vampires, she thought desperately. "Buffy," they called. "Can you show us how you did that?" and "Willow - are you friends with this woman? Can you tell us what she is?"

The questions kept on coming. Buffy grabbed Willows arm and headed for her home.