A/N Having posted a two chapters for a different story that has not had
much response, I am now asking you (hear that, asking, pleeeeading!) if you
like this story please just give it a quick read and submit any
constructive criticism! Plus, I need you all to promise to read a pre-Inner
Workings Lily fic when I post it! Go it? Good!
Now are you sitting comfortably? Then, I'll begin......
I stood in front of my mirror, nervously ruffling my hair. It had a habit of sticking up at the front that didn't match the rest of my head and so I was desperately trying to make it even. In the past I'd tried flattening it but had rapidly learnt that it would never work.
There was a quick knock at the door and Remus walked in. He grinned at me and I grimaced back trying to convey the weird bubbling terror inside of me.
"How's it going then?" he asked, sitting down on the foot of my bed as I returned to the looking-glass that was offering helpful comments that I readily ignored. I sighed and finally gave up on my hair. For some people there was simply no hope when it came to this kind of thing.
"I feel like my intestines are attempting to mountaineer up my throat with small pickaxes. How are you?" Remus just laughed and stood up to straighten my tie. "How am I gonna do this, Moony? I mean, I've never been this nervous about a date and it's Lily. I know her and like her."
"Maybe that's what's making it harder," Remus suggested after he finished re-doing my tie with a much neater knot, "The fact you're actually going out with a girl you like for, what, the first ever time," I glowered at him, even though I knew he was right, as he continued. "Just think of it as 'time with Lily' not 'first date with Lily'."
I blanched. First date. Oh, bloody hell...! Remus shook my shoulders and looked me directly in the eye. "You'll be fine," he assured, "Just don't pull any of that usual crap you do with girls. I know what you can be like."
"Are you calling me a serial-dater?" I asked.
"No! Of course not! Just remember," He tapped my chest, "But be yourself. You have a habit of being... odd when you go on dates. Or maybe you're just odd around girls in general..." He mused and it was me who grabbed his shoulders to shake him this time, although slightly more erratically than he had.
"What do you mean? Tell me! Oh my God - I'm going to be a complete prat, aren't I?" I yelled.
"No... you... won't, if... you just... stop... bloody shaking me or I wallop you!" Remus shouted between shakes. With surprising strength, he threw me - right over his shoulder! - onto my bed where I lay, stunned. "You. Will. Be. Fiiiiine." He said, pointing menacingly at me.
I gulped.
"Okay."
"Good," he grinned pleasantly, "Have a nice afternoon. Oh," he turned back on his way out, "Do something about you're hair, would you?"
I waited by the main doors, shuffling my newly polished shoes against the slate floor, constantly checking my watch. I had removed my tie, deciding it was too formal and also too warm, before changing my mind and running to get Remus to do it again for me as my hands had been shaking so violently at that point.
Now, however, I was left with only my thoughts for company. A couple of acquaintances had stopped momentarily to ask how I was and where I was taking Lily but apart from that I had been waiting alone for nearly ten minutes.
Hearing footsteps on the marble staircase to my left I looked up to see her. Lily was wearing a bright blue mini-dress, the kind I had seen Muggle girls wearing a lot in the past summer and had been assured was fashionable. Anyway, fashionable or not, she looked gorgeous. Her hair was half up loosely and the rest around her face and flowing down her back; her dress finished about halfway up her thigh - the same place where I remembered her robe had been in our fifth year DADA OWL, the memory a quick jolt in the back of my mind - and she had short heeled sandal things on. Don't ask me about shoes though, I have never had a clue...
"Ready?" she asked, coming to a standstill next to me, "Where are we going?"
"Hogsmeade," I choked out before adding, in a somewhat stupid voice, "You look really, really pretty." She just smiled the sweetest smile ever and kissed my cheek like she had before.
"You look really pretty, too," she grinned.
Linking her arm through mine we stepped out of the Entrance Hall and down the steps. The March sun had just begun to set as we walked down the main drive of the school.
We talked about normal things: Quidditch, schoolwork, the recent gossip at school, and before I knew it we had reached Hogsmeade. The town was relatively quiet on the outside, although this was deceptive due to the heavy silencing spells round most of the buildings. Someone was walking along the street pointing his wand at the streetlights and a tiny ball of flame would rise up into it's glass case, high above the road.
I led Lily off the main drag and down Umfraville Street to the bar where us Marauders had often gone. It was called the Mermaid & Time-Turner and the sign depicting these two images hung above the door.
It was a cosy place. As we walked in the proprietor, a Mister Jacob Sones greatly us warmly (he was an old friend of Augusta's who I had known pretty much all my life). Taking our coats and showing us to a table near one of the windows, he presented us with two menus and told us 'the entertainment will begin in about an hour, so plenty of time for a quick bite.' Only I got this small joke, however, for Jacob was a vampire and it wasn't until he left the table with our drinks order that I quietly told Lily this.
"Is he really?" she gasped, "How fascinating! I've never met one before." She peered over my shoulder towards the bar. Nevertheless when he returned, Lily buried herself in her menu - much to mine and Jacob's amusement - and was rather cautious as she lifted her head to take a sip of her dandelion, burdock and billywig cocktail.
"Don't worry - he's perfectly harmless," I studied the menu, my eyes immediately landing on the steak and fries. "So," I started, "What do you think you'll have?"
"Erm... I don't know. I've never been here. What's the chicken like?"
"Can either be great or really greasy."
"Hmm, okay... oh! What about the spaghetti?"
"Good choice."
"Can I have fries with that?" she raised her eyebrow.
"Of course - this is my treat remember," I smiled and relayed our choice to Jacob who seemed to be paying close attention to our table. It occurred to me, he'd probably be telling my father about this date.
As we ate we talked about Quidditch. I already knew that Lily supported the Falmouth Falcons - how could I forget the t-shirt on Christmas morning?! But I was curious as to why she'd never tried out for the Gryffindor team.
"Can't fly," she shrugged, lifting a couple of fries into her mouth, "I would love to be able to fly, even a little bit. I just think it's the pinnacle of wizardry - ever since I was a little girl and I read stories about that kind of thing."
"I bet you could fly if you just gave it a go," I licked a bit of salt from my fingers, "I could teach you if you want."
"No way!" Lily laughed, "First year I could barely get the broomstick off the ground, let alone stay on it!"
"You might've gotten better,"
"I doubt it. Anyway, you've got enough to do without teaching some pathetic girly to ride a broomstick!"
"I think it would be fun," I insisted, leaning across to steal Lily's last fries from the small white bowl beside her, "And I always have time to teach a pathetic girly to fly."
"Wow, I feel so special," Lily beamed.
The doors at the back of the bar had been open for a while now and we'd been able to hear the band playing for a while. Once our plates had been cleared we got up and went to the hall. The walls were black and flashing lights filled the room. We smirked at each other after watching the band for a minute or two. They weren't exactly the greatest musicians in the world!
Despite the rather bad music, we had a great laugh. We danced a bit. Lily had her arms wrapped tight around my neck and I could feel her breath on my face when we spoke. She also had the unnerving ability to move her hips in a way that made me have to think of thinks like times-tables for a while. I think she noticed as she suddenly got a teasing smile on her face and just did it more.
What surprised me most of all was that Sirius and Remus had both been right. It was fine and easy and the best date I had been on for ages - probably ever. Lily was fun and it was more like being out with a friend. Apart from my strong desire to kiss her every single second.
We walked back together, hand in hand, laughing about the band. We had bid a goodnight to Jacob who had given Lily a fantastic grin that showed off his pointed incisors fantastically. Luckily she took it well.
It was cold out so I had a great excuse halfway home to hug her around the shoulders and share my cloak with her. Once we'd past the final house on the edge of Hogsmeade, we had fallen into a peaceful silence.
The dark sky was clear and the half moon shone brightly next to the other stars in the sky. I had learned to appreciate the night sky more since finding out about Remus. It was obvious that other thing could govern earthly matters.
Lily stopped to sit down.
"It's these bloody shoes," she muttered rubbing the soles of her feet as we sat next to each other on the side of the dirt track that led past the Forbidden Forest to the school itself.
"I'll carry you if you want," I offered and immediately regretted it.
She looked up at me, one of her shoes still in her hand. She had that half puzzled, half nervous look on her face again. She looked away, pursing her lips and putting her shoe down next to the other one, which lay upside down at her side.
"James," Lily started, "I like you." Oh God, I thought, there's a 'but' coming isn't there? "And you are a wonderful guy..."
"But..." I added not daring to look at her. Her hand caught my cheek, gently turning my eyes to look at her.
"But, I want to know that you'll be honest with me."
I was stunned. What the hell did she mean? "James, I mean, either you promise to be truthful with me and not mess me around and tell me how you're feeling and all or that... Or we're friends and nothing more."
"I don't get it. Why would you doubt that I'd be honest with you?"
"I mean, I'd want you to tell me stuff."
"Like what?" I told you, girls confuse me and this was certainly that. Girls had never even wanted me to be open with them. No. They had always wanted me to be 'James Potter'.
I remember one girl I went out with for nearly two months in my fifth year - Donna Higgins. Every time I'd tried to talk to her about something serious she'd just laugh and fluttered her hands at me. 'Oh don't be so ridiculous, James!' she'd say and then promptly change the subject - often to talk about her part-time job as a model of Teen Witch which bored me to the depths of my skull.
"James," Lily touched my arm, "After you're sister died and you... went into hospital..." She looked terrified and I could almost hear her mind saying 'after you tried to kill yourself', "I was... so afraid. I had barely even gotten to know you and I thought we had, and still do have, a great friendship. And I was worried, James," She looked up at me with stained glass eyes as she tightened her grip on my upper arm, "I thought that I'd never get the chance to... to..." She trailed off, searching desperately for words.
"To what?" I prompted, "Tell me, Lil, please."
"To hold you," she whispered, "To lie next to you and feel your heart fluttering like the night in the Head's lounge last December," she gulped nervously, "To know who you are. I don't want James Potter the Head Boy; James Potter the Quidditch Captain; James Potter the Eligible, Rich And Out- of-Your-League Bachelor. I want you. So, so, so much that it hurts James.
"And when Peter told me you were... you know, I couldn't help but keep thinking about the time in fifth year when I told you you made me sick. Because you only made me sick because I wanted desperately for you to be perfect. Ever since, I don't know," she threw her arms half-heartedly in the air, "Second, third year, I watched you and I wanted to know you. You..." Lily stared me in the eyes and swept and stray piece of hair into the clip at the back of her head.
"Would you promise to be honest with me?" I asked. My voice sounded weird and gravelly.
"Yes. Of course," she nodded.
"Well, in that case..." I thought for a second, "In that case I want you to say it."
"Say what?" She sounded like I had only a few moments earlier - monosyllabic and bewildered.
"Say why I was in hospital. Just say it because I sure as hell can't and I need you to. Tell me that's why you were concerned. I need you to be honest too," I added.
"Really?"
"Really really."
Lily took a deep breath before fixing me once more with her calm eyes. As the opened her mouth the words came awkwardly at first before tumbling out as if down a vast waterfall.
"You were in hospital because... because you tried to commit suicide. And I thought you were going to die. And I thought that you believed there was nothing left for you to live for," She bit her lip and a single crystal tear rolled from her eye, "And I wanted you to know... I wanted to tell you... to live for me."
I swallowed away the lump that had formed in my throat.
"I didn't want to go, Lily."
"I know... but you nearly did."
I leaned forward and kissed her softly on her trembling lips. "I'm sorry. If I had stopped to think for one second about what I would've lost it never would've happened. I can't always cope with stuff on my own, you see."
"I know. But you don't have to be alone. I'll be here. If you think you can cope with my stuff. If you want me."
"I want you," I said simply, whispering even though there was probably no one else around to over hear us. I tightened my arms around her and it felt as though a huge weight had suddenly been taken off me - an enormous marble block that I had been carrying around for years and years. "I want you."
"I want you too," came her murmured reply before she pulled me back and kissed me sweetly. I could taste her drink from earlier and feel her slightly dry lips against my own. I breathed into her velvety mane of hair. Its specific aroma enveloped me. Even today, after years and years, I can still vividly smell her hair. It was one of those comforting scents, like the baking smell of my grandmother Harriet's kitchen that I remembered from my childhood.
I don't know how long we stayed there - together - and it was much darker by the time we reached the foot of the girl's dormitory staircase in Gryffindor tower.
She turned round, a gentle smile on her lips, and she kissed me. Once, twice, three times. Each time I wished we could remain like that forever. I could barely believe it was real, but it was. The curve of her spine, the feel of her hips pressed against me, her heart beating in time to mine, her elegant piano-fingered hands woven into my hair. All real and wonderfully wonderful in its half-familiar simplicity.
We broke apart and rested our foreheads against each other, grinning like... well, like lovesick teenagers (obviously one stereotype that held some truth).
"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Lily said, caressing my cheek. I nodded and planted a chaste kiss on the end of her nose. "Goodnight," she murmured.
"Sweet dreams, Lily."
A/N
Thank you my darlings! Sorry (as always) for the huge delay in this chapter. Don't forget to review!!!
Thanks mostly to:
brettley – this was as soon an update as I could manage!
child-of-scorpio – please don't use the axe!!!
Six83 – Maybe he does meet her, maybe he doesn't... You'll have to keep reading, won't you?!
Polkat – another fluff-ish chapter, I think. And I am still not scary!
Captain Oblivious – thank you loyal reviewer! I don't think you'll manage to pry Sirius from Remus, sorry! But MAYBE I'll try and write a 'straight Sirius story' just to see how it would turn out
Hannah7 – Thank you as always and the second I have posted this chapter I will be reviewing yours (even though I've already read it). I think I might post Too Much Two Tone this week but you'll have to help me advertise it(!)
SaMBraT – Am working on your green eggs and ham...!
Ophelia Solheim – I am flattered beyond all belief, though I apologise for the R/S. It's just a thing of mine and a fellow writer's... I hope you'll keep reading despite that!
TO ALL READERS: IT HAS BEEN CLINICALLY PROVEN TO BE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH TO SUBMIT COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF REVIEWS TO L/J FANFICS. ESPECIALLY THIS ONE.
Now are you sitting comfortably? Then, I'll begin......
I stood in front of my mirror, nervously ruffling my hair. It had a habit of sticking up at the front that didn't match the rest of my head and so I was desperately trying to make it even. In the past I'd tried flattening it but had rapidly learnt that it would never work.
There was a quick knock at the door and Remus walked in. He grinned at me and I grimaced back trying to convey the weird bubbling terror inside of me.
"How's it going then?" he asked, sitting down on the foot of my bed as I returned to the looking-glass that was offering helpful comments that I readily ignored. I sighed and finally gave up on my hair. For some people there was simply no hope when it came to this kind of thing.
"I feel like my intestines are attempting to mountaineer up my throat with small pickaxes. How are you?" Remus just laughed and stood up to straighten my tie. "How am I gonna do this, Moony? I mean, I've never been this nervous about a date and it's Lily. I know her and like her."
"Maybe that's what's making it harder," Remus suggested after he finished re-doing my tie with a much neater knot, "The fact you're actually going out with a girl you like for, what, the first ever time," I glowered at him, even though I knew he was right, as he continued. "Just think of it as 'time with Lily' not 'first date with Lily'."
I blanched. First date. Oh, bloody hell...! Remus shook my shoulders and looked me directly in the eye. "You'll be fine," he assured, "Just don't pull any of that usual crap you do with girls. I know what you can be like."
"Are you calling me a serial-dater?" I asked.
"No! Of course not! Just remember," He tapped my chest, "But be yourself. You have a habit of being... odd when you go on dates. Or maybe you're just odd around girls in general..." He mused and it was me who grabbed his shoulders to shake him this time, although slightly more erratically than he had.
"What do you mean? Tell me! Oh my God - I'm going to be a complete prat, aren't I?" I yelled.
"No... you... won't, if... you just... stop... bloody shaking me or I wallop you!" Remus shouted between shakes. With surprising strength, he threw me - right over his shoulder! - onto my bed where I lay, stunned. "You. Will. Be. Fiiiiine." He said, pointing menacingly at me.
I gulped.
"Okay."
"Good," he grinned pleasantly, "Have a nice afternoon. Oh," he turned back on his way out, "Do something about you're hair, would you?"
I waited by the main doors, shuffling my newly polished shoes against the slate floor, constantly checking my watch. I had removed my tie, deciding it was too formal and also too warm, before changing my mind and running to get Remus to do it again for me as my hands had been shaking so violently at that point.
Now, however, I was left with only my thoughts for company. A couple of acquaintances had stopped momentarily to ask how I was and where I was taking Lily but apart from that I had been waiting alone for nearly ten minutes.
Hearing footsteps on the marble staircase to my left I looked up to see her. Lily was wearing a bright blue mini-dress, the kind I had seen Muggle girls wearing a lot in the past summer and had been assured was fashionable. Anyway, fashionable or not, she looked gorgeous. Her hair was half up loosely and the rest around her face and flowing down her back; her dress finished about halfway up her thigh - the same place where I remembered her robe had been in our fifth year DADA OWL, the memory a quick jolt in the back of my mind - and she had short heeled sandal things on. Don't ask me about shoes though, I have never had a clue...
"Ready?" she asked, coming to a standstill next to me, "Where are we going?"
"Hogsmeade," I choked out before adding, in a somewhat stupid voice, "You look really, really pretty." She just smiled the sweetest smile ever and kissed my cheek like she had before.
"You look really pretty, too," she grinned.
Linking her arm through mine we stepped out of the Entrance Hall and down the steps. The March sun had just begun to set as we walked down the main drive of the school.
We talked about normal things: Quidditch, schoolwork, the recent gossip at school, and before I knew it we had reached Hogsmeade. The town was relatively quiet on the outside, although this was deceptive due to the heavy silencing spells round most of the buildings. Someone was walking along the street pointing his wand at the streetlights and a tiny ball of flame would rise up into it's glass case, high above the road.
I led Lily off the main drag and down Umfraville Street to the bar where us Marauders had often gone. It was called the Mermaid & Time-Turner and the sign depicting these two images hung above the door.
It was a cosy place. As we walked in the proprietor, a Mister Jacob Sones greatly us warmly (he was an old friend of Augusta's who I had known pretty much all my life). Taking our coats and showing us to a table near one of the windows, he presented us with two menus and told us 'the entertainment will begin in about an hour, so plenty of time for a quick bite.' Only I got this small joke, however, for Jacob was a vampire and it wasn't until he left the table with our drinks order that I quietly told Lily this.
"Is he really?" she gasped, "How fascinating! I've never met one before." She peered over my shoulder towards the bar. Nevertheless when he returned, Lily buried herself in her menu - much to mine and Jacob's amusement - and was rather cautious as she lifted her head to take a sip of her dandelion, burdock and billywig cocktail.
"Don't worry - he's perfectly harmless," I studied the menu, my eyes immediately landing on the steak and fries. "So," I started, "What do you think you'll have?"
"Erm... I don't know. I've never been here. What's the chicken like?"
"Can either be great or really greasy."
"Hmm, okay... oh! What about the spaghetti?"
"Good choice."
"Can I have fries with that?" she raised her eyebrow.
"Of course - this is my treat remember," I smiled and relayed our choice to Jacob who seemed to be paying close attention to our table. It occurred to me, he'd probably be telling my father about this date.
As we ate we talked about Quidditch. I already knew that Lily supported the Falmouth Falcons - how could I forget the t-shirt on Christmas morning?! But I was curious as to why she'd never tried out for the Gryffindor team.
"Can't fly," she shrugged, lifting a couple of fries into her mouth, "I would love to be able to fly, even a little bit. I just think it's the pinnacle of wizardry - ever since I was a little girl and I read stories about that kind of thing."
"I bet you could fly if you just gave it a go," I licked a bit of salt from my fingers, "I could teach you if you want."
"No way!" Lily laughed, "First year I could barely get the broomstick off the ground, let alone stay on it!"
"You might've gotten better,"
"I doubt it. Anyway, you've got enough to do without teaching some pathetic girly to ride a broomstick!"
"I think it would be fun," I insisted, leaning across to steal Lily's last fries from the small white bowl beside her, "And I always have time to teach a pathetic girly to fly."
"Wow, I feel so special," Lily beamed.
The doors at the back of the bar had been open for a while now and we'd been able to hear the band playing for a while. Once our plates had been cleared we got up and went to the hall. The walls were black and flashing lights filled the room. We smirked at each other after watching the band for a minute or two. They weren't exactly the greatest musicians in the world!
Despite the rather bad music, we had a great laugh. We danced a bit. Lily had her arms wrapped tight around my neck and I could feel her breath on my face when we spoke. She also had the unnerving ability to move her hips in a way that made me have to think of thinks like times-tables for a while. I think she noticed as she suddenly got a teasing smile on her face and just did it more.
What surprised me most of all was that Sirius and Remus had both been right. It was fine and easy and the best date I had been on for ages - probably ever. Lily was fun and it was more like being out with a friend. Apart from my strong desire to kiss her every single second.
We walked back together, hand in hand, laughing about the band. We had bid a goodnight to Jacob who had given Lily a fantastic grin that showed off his pointed incisors fantastically. Luckily she took it well.
It was cold out so I had a great excuse halfway home to hug her around the shoulders and share my cloak with her. Once we'd past the final house on the edge of Hogsmeade, we had fallen into a peaceful silence.
The dark sky was clear and the half moon shone brightly next to the other stars in the sky. I had learned to appreciate the night sky more since finding out about Remus. It was obvious that other thing could govern earthly matters.
Lily stopped to sit down.
"It's these bloody shoes," she muttered rubbing the soles of her feet as we sat next to each other on the side of the dirt track that led past the Forbidden Forest to the school itself.
"I'll carry you if you want," I offered and immediately regretted it.
She looked up at me, one of her shoes still in her hand. She had that half puzzled, half nervous look on her face again. She looked away, pursing her lips and putting her shoe down next to the other one, which lay upside down at her side.
"James," Lily started, "I like you." Oh God, I thought, there's a 'but' coming isn't there? "And you are a wonderful guy..."
"But..." I added not daring to look at her. Her hand caught my cheek, gently turning my eyes to look at her.
"But, I want to know that you'll be honest with me."
I was stunned. What the hell did she mean? "James, I mean, either you promise to be truthful with me and not mess me around and tell me how you're feeling and all or that... Or we're friends and nothing more."
"I don't get it. Why would you doubt that I'd be honest with you?"
"I mean, I'd want you to tell me stuff."
"Like what?" I told you, girls confuse me and this was certainly that. Girls had never even wanted me to be open with them. No. They had always wanted me to be 'James Potter'.
I remember one girl I went out with for nearly two months in my fifth year - Donna Higgins. Every time I'd tried to talk to her about something serious she'd just laugh and fluttered her hands at me. 'Oh don't be so ridiculous, James!' she'd say and then promptly change the subject - often to talk about her part-time job as a model of Teen Witch which bored me to the depths of my skull.
"James," Lily touched my arm, "After you're sister died and you... went into hospital..." She looked terrified and I could almost hear her mind saying 'after you tried to kill yourself', "I was... so afraid. I had barely even gotten to know you and I thought we had, and still do have, a great friendship. And I was worried, James," She looked up at me with stained glass eyes as she tightened her grip on my upper arm, "I thought that I'd never get the chance to... to..." She trailed off, searching desperately for words.
"To what?" I prompted, "Tell me, Lil, please."
"To hold you," she whispered, "To lie next to you and feel your heart fluttering like the night in the Head's lounge last December," she gulped nervously, "To know who you are. I don't want James Potter the Head Boy; James Potter the Quidditch Captain; James Potter the Eligible, Rich And Out- of-Your-League Bachelor. I want you. So, so, so much that it hurts James.
"And when Peter told me you were... you know, I couldn't help but keep thinking about the time in fifth year when I told you you made me sick. Because you only made me sick because I wanted desperately for you to be perfect. Ever since, I don't know," she threw her arms half-heartedly in the air, "Second, third year, I watched you and I wanted to know you. You..." Lily stared me in the eyes and swept and stray piece of hair into the clip at the back of her head.
"Would you promise to be honest with me?" I asked. My voice sounded weird and gravelly.
"Yes. Of course," she nodded.
"Well, in that case..." I thought for a second, "In that case I want you to say it."
"Say what?" She sounded like I had only a few moments earlier - monosyllabic and bewildered.
"Say why I was in hospital. Just say it because I sure as hell can't and I need you to. Tell me that's why you were concerned. I need you to be honest too," I added.
"Really?"
"Really really."
Lily took a deep breath before fixing me once more with her calm eyes. As the opened her mouth the words came awkwardly at first before tumbling out as if down a vast waterfall.
"You were in hospital because... because you tried to commit suicide. And I thought you were going to die. And I thought that you believed there was nothing left for you to live for," She bit her lip and a single crystal tear rolled from her eye, "And I wanted you to know... I wanted to tell you... to live for me."
I swallowed away the lump that had formed in my throat.
"I didn't want to go, Lily."
"I know... but you nearly did."
I leaned forward and kissed her softly on her trembling lips. "I'm sorry. If I had stopped to think for one second about what I would've lost it never would've happened. I can't always cope with stuff on my own, you see."
"I know. But you don't have to be alone. I'll be here. If you think you can cope with my stuff. If you want me."
"I want you," I said simply, whispering even though there was probably no one else around to over hear us. I tightened my arms around her and it felt as though a huge weight had suddenly been taken off me - an enormous marble block that I had been carrying around for years and years. "I want you."
"I want you too," came her murmured reply before she pulled me back and kissed me sweetly. I could taste her drink from earlier and feel her slightly dry lips against my own. I breathed into her velvety mane of hair. Its specific aroma enveloped me. Even today, after years and years, I can still vividly smell her hair. It was one of those comforting scents, like the baking smell of my grandmother Harriet's kitchen that I remembered from my childhood.
I don't know how long we stayed there - together - and it was much darker by the time we reached the foot of the girl's dormitory staircase in Gryffindor tower.
She turned round, a gentle smile on her lips, and she kissed me. Once, twice, three times. Each time I wished we could remain like that forever. I could barely believe it was real, but it was. The curve of her spine, the feel of her hips pressed against me, her heart beating in time to mine, her elegant piano-fingered hands woven into my hair. All real and wonderfully wonderful in its half-familiar simplicity.
We broke apart and rested our foreheads against each other, grinning like... well, like lovesick teenagers (obviously one stereotype that held some truth).
"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Lily said, caressing my cheek. I nodded and planted a chaste kiss on the end of her nose. "Goodnight," she murmured.
"Sweet dreams, Lily."
A/N
Thank you my darlings! Sorry (as always) for the huge delay in this chapter. Don't forget to review!!!
Thanks mostly to:
brettley – this was as soon an update as I could manage!
child-of-scorpio – please don't use the axe!!!
Six83 – Maybe he does meet her, maybe he doesn't... You'll have to keep reading, won't you?!
Polkat – another fluff-ish chapter, I think. And I am still not scary!
Captain Oblivious – thank you loyal reviewer! I don't think you'll manage to pry Sirius from Remus, sorry! But MAYBE I'll try and write a 'straight Sirius story' just to see how it would turn out
Hannah7 – Thank you as always and the second I have posted this chapter I will be reviewing yours (even though I've already read it). I think I might post Too Much Two Tone this week but you'll have to help me advertise it(!)
SaMBraT – Am working on your green eggs and ham...!
Ophelia Solheim – I am flattered beyond all belief, though I apologise for the R/S. It's just a thing of mine and a fellow writer's... I hope you'll keep reading despite that!
TO ALL READERS: IT HAS BEEN CLINICALLY PROVEN TO BE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH TO SUBMIT COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF REVIEWS TO L/J FANFICS. ESPECIALLY THIS ONE.