Chapter Ten

Buffy sat next to Spike and she watched him gathering his strength. "So, there's just one thing wrong with this truce," she said, trying to sound light hearted. "The fact that I despise you pretty much covers it. I mean what, you've killed thousands - maybe even millions of innocents since you were turned. You're completely evil. You've hurt me and those closest to me. How can I ever agree with anything you say or any point you try to make?"

"Damn Summers. You never could pull off friendship well could you?" he coughed a little as he said this. "And you could never fake not being worried about being in a near death experience," she shot back heatedly. "Oh, so you've seen me in one of those situations have you? I hate to break this I'm so wonderful it's all about me thing you got going, but when ever we fought? You may have wounded me, scared me off, but you never got the pleasure of nearly killing me".

She looked away. "Yeah, unfortunately. And friendship? Do you even know the meaning of the word?"

"Listen, I don't know what you white hats think you know about evil, but I'd like to think you've done you're research before going on about things you don't understand". Buffy stretched her legs out and frowned. "That bleedings gotten worse. Let me take a look?" Spike looked at her in amazement. "Are you crazy? What do you think you could do about it? You're not exactly a doctor. And I'll be fine". She shook her head. "You've been drained of some of you're power Spike. You're not fine. Let me see". He hesitated, and then began to unbutton his shirt. The wound had healed up partly as they had been talking for the past hour, but it was still deep. She took the shirt from him and then realised that he was half naked. Ok, bad plan, she thought. Wait - why is this a bad plan? It's not like I even think his - ok admit it Buffy, it'll make things a whole lot easier on your self. It's not because you're missing Angel or because you're lonely. You've always thought Spike was hot. But I'd never act upon it. That idea is unthinkable, she fought with herself as she took off her jacket and covered his wound.

"What's with the dramatics Buffy. I' m a vampire, I'll heal already would you just leave it?" She looked up at his harsh tone - not sure why she was bothered by it. He had done much worse to her in the past - why did it annoy her if he snapped at her? "Fine," she said coldly, moving away. "Fine," he murmured. "So, why don't you enlighten me Spike. What is it us white hats don't understand?" He sighed. "Everything. You don't understand anything about evil. You think you got it all figured out? You think because we have no soul, we don't know what it's like to feel? You couldn't be more wrong". She shrugged. "So? Explain it then".

"We feel, ok? More then you could know. We can fall in love". Buffy frowned. "Love? How did we get onto this subject again Spike?" He rolled his eyes at her. "It's just an example Buffy. Loves only one of the things you people don't get. Sure, we have no morals. If Dru ever turned her back on me or took another partner - I'd be mad as hell and maybe kill the guy or girl she was with and torture her for a few hours. But there wouldn't be all these rules you humans have to tie us down - so if I did the same thing, I would be in the wrong just as much as she was. You understand? There's no restrictions, no worries".

"Very romantic," she frowned. "But if there's no rules or responsibilities, how can you be in love with another person? Part of being in love means caring if the other person is with you or not. Respecting them. Missing them when their not there, hurting when they hurt feeling the same things. If you have no ties…."

"But see in a way it makes us more in love because it makes us more free. We can actually have fun. And evil cares whether or not something happens to one of its own. Just in a different way. But hell, I don't know where that little speech came from. Love's just one thing you don't get. You think that evil doesn't have honour or friendship? We do. Yet again it's different. Substitute friendship for loyalty and you got it covered. We're loyal to our side".

"Except when you've got a soul," she murmured. "So tell me, since you know everything. What's your perspective on things now? Do you still agree with what evil does? What you did? Is it better that way?"

Spike sighed. "No. It's not better. It's hell. It's chaos. It's …evil. It's a side of the world I've belonged to now for so long I don't know how to be any different. That's why this soul is killing me".

"Wow," she said with a giggle. "Very deep and meaningful. Do you realise we're actually having a conversation? What's up with that?"

"I had noticed," he nodded. "What happened to not agreeing with anything I said?" Her eyes widened. "Hold it. I never said that I understood anything. I still don't get evil and I never will. It gives me a headache. But I am listening to what you have to say without kicking your ass - give me a break ok?"

There was a sudden crash of thunder and the sound of rain pouring down outside. "It's the storm," whispered Spike as he closed his eyes.