Title: Ten Forty-Nine
Author: Fabs G.
Rating: PG
Summary: During the summer after OoTP, Harry finds some photos of Sirius and Remus- and he's not happy.
Spoilers: OoTP- and every book before it, of course.
Disclaimer: Please. As if there's someone on this planet that doesn't know that JK Rowling owns everything. Oh, and kudos for your website, Jo!
Pairing: SB/RL
Author's note: One of those things that just HAD to be written. Blame my muse.
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It happened at exactly 10:49 am on August 12. Remus could even remember the seconds because, right before it happened, he had checked the time.
He hadn't even lowered his arm after his glance at the enchanted wristwatch when Harry stomped into the Grimmauld Place kitchen and slammed a picture over the book Remus was reading.
Everyone –Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Mrs. Weasley, Kingsley and Remus himself- looked at him. He had stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen so violently he'd woken up Mrs. Black, who was being silenced by Hermione.
Remus looked at the photograph Harry had thrown at him and gulped. It had been taken in their 7th year by James, on the day everyone considered to be Sirius's and Remus's first anniversary of getting together. It showed them, of course, kissing like there was no tomorrow.
Remus shut the book, covering the photograph from Ron and Fred's prying eyes –though Ginny had taken a peek. He looked up at Harry and winced mentally- the last time he'd seen Harry so furious, Harry had been accusing Sirius of murdering his parents.
"Just…" his frozen voice came through clenched teeth. "Just tell me- why do I have to find out now, and like this? Why didn't you tell me?"
Remus closed his eyes at Harry's tone of voice. He opened them. "We wanted to" he said. Everyone but Mrs. Weasley and Ginny were puzzled, the former because she had always known and the latter because she had seen what the photograph was about.
"We wanted to tell you, we did. We never found the time, or the courage. We didn't know how you'd react"
Hermione entered the kitchen.
"That's the sorriest excuse ever" said Harry "Joint flat after you graduated. Joint gifts to me. Sirius, someone like Sirius, obeying your every order. Sirius thinking everyone but you was stupid when they were fifteen. You living with him last summer" Harry was physically shaking with anger now "Tell me that it was none of my business, tell me that it felt like it was a one night stand that never went away, but don't tell me that you were together since you were sixteen and that you never found the time. You had three years"
He turned on his heels and left, tossing three or four more photographs on the table that Remus made no attempt to cover. One showed Sirius and Remus napping together in the common room sofa. Another one showed a grown up Remus circling Sirius's waist from behind, it seemed that the camera had been enchanted to take it. The other two showed teenage Remus and Sirius kissing. Remus rested his elbows over the table and the heels of his hands pressed on his eyes.
Ginny smiled at the photographs while Hermione, Ron, Fred and George raised eyebrows, shared wide open eyes and, seconds later, 'that explains it all' looks.
Mrs. Weasley discarded the apron she was wearing and gently gathered the photographs into a small stack and placed them face down over Remus's book. She then pressed a hand on Remus's shoulder.
Now that Harry was gone, Remus had been outed and Mrs. Black had been silenced and shut, the silence in the house was as loud as any of them had ever experienced. The fire crept, and a saucepan was being magically scrubbed, but otherwise it seemed like the house was empty again, abandoned of all life.
As he felt Mrs. Weasley's hand on his shoulder, Remus raised his head. His eyes were puffy and red from the pressure he'd been exerting on them- and from, everyone knew, suppressed tears.
He suddenly got up –so suddenly he startled Mrs. Weasley- and walked to the doorway.
"I don't-" began Hermione timidly. Remus looked at her as if from behind a thick fog. "I don't think it very wise to go to him now" she finished quietly.
"I know" Remus's voice was hoarser than usual. "But I can't just stay here either." He said, and left the kitchen.
It turned out that Harry had locked himself in what was now Buckbeak's room. As he didn't want to aggravate things more, Remus chose not to break in with his wand. But no matter how much he knocked, the most elaborate answer he got was a hoarse 'leave me alone'.
Ron and Hermione tried later, as did the twins and Ginny even later, getting the same results. Mrs. Weasley tried too, choosing to magic inside some food when she was unsuccessful too. The tray appeared empty in the hallway later.
Harry emerged from Buckbeak's room during the afternoon of his second day in reclusion. He went to the kitchen and scanned the crowd. Said crowd –all Weasley children- shouted several variations of 'Harry!' and 'You're back!' but before either could make it to him, he looked at Mrs. Weasley. She understood.
"Remus is in his room, dear" she said gently, placing a hand on Ron's chest, thus preventing him from getting to his friend.
Without any word, he left the kitchen and made for the new room Remus had taken this summer. How stupid he was for not realizing earlier, he berated himself.
He knocked on the door and as he heard a faint 'come in', he entered.
"Harry" said Remus, turning from the desk he'd been sitting at.
Harry sat on the lonely twin bed of the room. Still not meeting Remus's eyes, he looked at the framed photo on Remus's bedside table. A sixteen or seventeen year old Sirius was sitting against a tree on what looked like Hogwarts grounds. Remus lay peacefully asleep in his arms.
"Tell me everything" he said hoarsely, teeth mildly clenched.
Remus moved his chair to sit in front of Harry. "We got together in our sixth year, after some very difficult months. Sirius had just played that infamous prank on Snape, and we weren't talking to each other. James and Peter were bouncing in the middle of us. One Sunday afternoon we went for a private talk at the Shrieking Shack. A very sincere talk. In all his honesty and in between apologies he let it slip that he'd been in love with me, and I quote 'longer than I can remember'. We emerged from the Shrieking Shack as boyfriends"
"You were in love" said Harry with a knot in his throat. "You were in love with Sirius for more than twenty years and never told me"
"am"
Harry frowned "What?"
"You said were. I am in love with him. The fact that he died changes nothing of it"
Harry swallowed. How petty he and Cho seemed now, with their lonely wet kiss, in front of a love that had lasted through framing, prison and even death.
"After he escaped" continued Remus, mostly to fill the silence. "He went to a isle of the Caribbean. I went with him. I was unemployed and he desperately needed the company of someone he could trust. It took us about thirty minutes to say it all. Peter's framing had split us, but we were still in love. Forty five minutes later we were together again"
"That's all very nice" said Harry, his voice conveying exactly the contrary. "Really" and Lily's eyes shone this time. "But I still don't understand why you wouldn't tell me"
"We were scared. Sirius specially, you meant everything to him. Tha-that's not to say you don't mean everything to me, what I mean is-" Harry started to blush at this admittance. "He would have found himself at a loss if you had rejected him for being gay"
It was the first time anyone said the word. Rather than bothering him, as it did to most muggles, he wondered why such a small word could cause such trouble. Didn't it usually mean two people were in love?
With this thought and Remus's words something broke inside of Harry. One of his walls came tumbling down. "I thought he trusted me-"
"He did, it's just-"
"It feels like he didn't. And of all the people, everyone I've ever met since Hagrid told me I was a wizard, I've never, never considered anyone family but you two."
And something broke inside of Remus too.
Harry continued. "And now I'm mad at you, which is somewhat ok, but I'm also mad at Sirius, but he's dead and I feel rotten" he slipped his hands under his glasses and buried his face in them. "I miss him so much… and that's the first time I said it since he died." His voice sounded somewhat muffled. Remus placed a hand on Harry's head, knowing full well the boy was containing himself. He got to his knees, so that Harry would see him at eye level. "Sometimes I wish you hadn't stopped me" said the boy quietly.
Remus knew instantly what he was talking about. He sighed. "Oh, Harry, but I wasn't"
Harry lifted his head, eyes blurry from the pressure of his hands. "You did, you put an arm across my chest, prevented me from following him."
Remus smiled sadly. "I suppose unconsciously I was also stopping you, but I wasn't. I was holding onto you so I wouldn't follow him" Harry stayed very silent. "Of course, then I snapped back to reality and stopped you, and said something- something I quite can't remember clearly now, but…"
But by now, everything Harry had been holding in since June –and why not, since ever- was released without any kind of restraint. Harry cried in Remus's arms as he had never done before. Which was, ultimately, one of the reasons for crying.
By the time tears had subsided –including a few of Remus's own- neither felt embarrassed with the other anymore.
"Are we alright?" asked Remus softly.
Harry smiled. "If you promise to give me a detailed version of the events of how you got together, yes"
Remus placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Then we might as well do it downstairs with tea, scones, chocolate cookies and an audience"
Harry, out of an impulse, hugged him before they got out of the room. "Thank you" he said, and walked down the hallway with him, talking about the photographs.
A perfectly translucent ghostly figure, though with distinguishable handsome features and black hair, smiled at their retreating forms. As Mrs. Weasley's scream of joy at Harry and Remus's reconciliation woke up his mother, Sirius silenced her instantly with just a raised finger and went down to the kitchen, smiling at the thought of 'Moony, the storyteller'
No one knew for certain who had silence Mrs. Black, but Remus and Harry smiled at each other. After all, as they had just discovered, until they simply appeared over Harry's bed, the photographs had been hid a year ago by Sirius in a place no one knew about. A place that still no one knew about.