"Kim Possible. I must admit it is a sad day when I am brought this low. As rightful Lord of the Monkey Power I should be ruling the world! Not consorting with a pitiful..."
"I get the point Monkey Fist." Kim interrupted. She knew if she didn't he would go on for hours. They all did. Beside, his description of her wasn't exactly flattering. "What do you want?"
"Have you ever heard the legend of the phoenix, Kim Possible?"
"Ooh, ooh! I have!" Ron called out. They were all sitting around the Possible family dining table, but Ron refused to sit near Monkey Fist, so he was sitting on the opposite end of the table. Rufus was on the table in front of him, keeping a close eye on Monkey Fist. "That's the bird that burns up and then comes back to life, right?!"
"A crude way of putting it, but yes, essentially. The legend of the phoenix has many versions. Most versions tell us that the phoenix is a magical bird, unique among the animal kingdom, in fact unique in every way, as there could never be more than one phoenix alive at the same time. When a phoenix was ready to die, it would burst into flames and a new, more beautiful phoenix would rise from the ashes. The phoenix was a symbol to many ancient civilizations, from the Egyptians, to the Greeks, to the Chinese."
"Ah, this is where we get the connection, right? Ninjas are Chinese, and so is the phoenix!"
"You little idiot! The art of ninjitsu originated in ancient Japan, not China, and has nothing at all to do with the story of the phoenix!
"Well, maybe you could jump ahead to the part where this concerns us?" Kim cut in, wanting to avoid bloodshed and also wanting to distract Monkey Fist from his cruel taunting on Ron. Poor Ron. He looked so miserable at the other end of the table. Oh well, she'd make it up to him later, maybe treat him to some Bueno Nacho
"Very well. The phoenix has been a legend for thousands of years. But I believe I may have found evidence that this bird was not just a myth."
"O-k-ay," Kim said slowly, "Listen, I know you're into ancient artifacts and magic monkey powers, but I am still not seeing your interest in the phoenix. Birds and monkeys aren't exactly closely related on the evolutionary family tree."
"But that's where you're wrong!" Monkey Fist said with a fierce passion. "The phoenix of myth was a bird, much like a heron, or a swan, but I have stumbled onto the trail of an ancient creature, one whose wings shone with the fire of rubies and who was said to have burst into flames and resurrect itself from it's own ashes. But this phoenix was not just a bird... though it has the wings and tail and feet of legend, it's body and head were that of a..."
"Wait. Let me guess." Ron said in a bored monotone, "a monkey."
"Yes! A monkey!" Monkey Fist cried jubilantly. "I believe that this creature is where the monkey power truly originated from!"
"Let's say we believed your story, and, heck, lets say we even believed in this Monkey- Power-Phoenix nonsense. How does any of that involve us, and more importantly, why should we help you achieve what we've been fighting to keep you from for years?" Kim folded her arms across her chest and raised one eyebrow. Monkey Fist smiled evilly.
"It is simple. To save the world, of course."
"I beg your pardon?" Ron said dubiously.
"Yeah!" Rufus added.
"You see, I first discovered the evidence of the phoenix before you so rudely placed me back in prison last time. What I didn't realize was the truth behind the legends. I inadvertently set in motion a chain of events that would lead to the rebirth of the phoenix. But while I was in prison I managed to research my discovery and realized my fatal error. You see, the story tells of a bird, or a monkey, as I discovered, that lived for 500 years and then burned and was reborn. But the truth of the matter is, the phoenix is a spirit. And this particular phoenix was different from all its predecessors. You see this phoenix wasn't the good luck charm or connected to the sun god or any of the nonsense spouted in old stories. It was, in fact, a vengeful creature who had been locked away on the eve of its rebirth to prevent it from returning, once again, to its full power, for fear the new phoenix, too, would bring evil upon those who lived nearby. The reason the phoenix could burn and be reborn was that its flesh would be destroyed but its soul would remain and would be able to take possession of its next human victim as soon as the ashes had cooled. But I, in my ignorance, released it and it burst into flame before my eyes. Believing, as I did, that it would be reborn, I waited. But no new phoenix emerged. Instead, the spirit had attached itself to me like a leech, and I have carried it with me ever since."
"But this still doesn't explain what you want with Ron, or Rufus, or me... I mean, what do you want?
"The phoenix is sick. Because of its long imprisonment, it hasn't the strength to live for 500 years. Instead, it will probably only be a matter of weeks before it again burns and resurrects itself."
"Oh, I get it! You want us to help you get rid of it so you don't get burnt to a crisp!"
"You're still an idiot, but in this case you are partially correct. Of course, I know that isn't enough incentive for you to help me, but..."
"Actually, though you may be an evil villain, no one deserves to die like that. And heroes don't kill, even their enemies."
"Ahem. AS I WAS SAYING, there is more to this crisis. For the phoenix is angry and plans to destroy planet Earth and all life upon it as revenge for its intolerable imprisonment. Many of my own monkey ninjas have sensed the spirit of the phoenix and turned on me in an instinctual fight for survival. When the phoenix burns this time, it plans on taking the whole world with it." Kim considered for a minute, then turned to Ron.
"Keep an eye on him"
"What!? Me?! But..." his protests faded out of her hearing as she slid into the living room and pulled out her Kimmunicator.
"So what's the sitch, Wade; is he telling the truth?"
"As hard as it is to believe, I think he is. I've cross-referenced parts of his story with archaeological data and ancient myths and a lot of it checks out. I found reference to a phoenix gone bad early on, one of the very first phoenix stories out there. The story says that the people it was terrorizing tried to kill it by burning it. It, of course, was reborn, but the evil had gone out of it. Thus the burning and rebirth sequence was begun. Strangely enough, I've also found out about a recent archaeological find in Africa of a temple to a winged monkey with writings about the evils it had wrought on their tribes. The worst part, though, is what Monkey Fist says about burning the Earth with the phoenix. According to tectonic and meteorological scans, some strange stuff started going on with Earth's core around the time Monkey Fist claims to have released the phoenix. This is heavy stuff, Kim. I'm talking earthquakes where there haven't been fault lines before, previously dormant volcanoes starting to bubble in their caulderas again, and strange weather patterns all across the globe."
"Great. Just great. So, any ideas on how to stop it?"
"Right now, KP, the only thing I can suggest is to pray."
At a casual glance, it may have seemed like any normal kitchen. There was a stove, a microwave, a refrigerator, a kitchen table, and a large monkey-like man. Yes. That's where the kitchen differs from the average. There was also a blonde boy cowering in the corner, as the large monkey-like man taunted him with a smaller actual monkey dressed as a ninja.
"Ok, Ron, looks like...hey!" Kim's sentence was cut short as she walked in on the scene.
"KP!" Ron jumped up and managed to slide around Monkey Fist and slip behind Kim. She looked back at him, rolled her eyes, and then glared at Monkey Fist.
"All right, you two, cut it out! We are too short on time to be indulging in infantile behavior. It seems like you've actually been telling the truth, and if we're to have a truce, any kind of temporary alliance, then we need to work together, and fast. Monkey Fist, you broke into Ron's house and Smart Mart... why?"
"I needed his stupid little rodent." Monkey fist sniffed disdainfully.
"Rufus?! Hey, KP, check it out, Wade was right! Wait a minute... what do you want with him?" Ron's protective ire brought him out from behind Kim.
"I thought it would be easier than finding another one and training it." Kim and Ron exchanged confused looks. Monkey Fist sighed, annoyed.
"I don't know WHY I need the creature, I only know that the ancient temple where I unleashed the phoenix had hieroglyphics in the shape of naked mole rats. I was hoping that by acquiring one I could figure out how to rid myself of this curse on my own! But time is running out, and I am no closer to figuring out the solution than I was when I first began."
"Hmmm...naked mole rat hieroglyphs, in a hidden temple in Africa, where an evil phoenix spirit was trapped. You getting any connections Wade?" The boy on the screen thought for a moment, then began typing furiously.
"Kim, I've come across an ancient African legend that tells of an evil spirit being defeated by strange hairless beings from the sky, and..."
"Uh, Wade, mole rats live underground! The don't fly!" Ron cut in, peering over Kim's shoulder.
"I didn't say it was fact, I said it was a LEGEND! I don't know where the sky part comes from, but, hey, if we're accepting the existence of a magical, mythological, being, we might as well follow any leads!"
"Thanks, Wade." Kim said, distractedly. "I think the best thing would be for us to go to this old temple and see if we can't figure out a way to reverse Monkey Fist's mistake. Can you get us there?"
"I'm on it, KP." The image blanked out and Kim turned to look at Monkey Fist.
"You're going to have to lead us there. Are any of your monkeys still loyal to you? We may need all the help we can get!" She added quickly, for Ron was giving her an angry glare at the mention of monkeys.
"A few are, but I wouldn't count on them. Animals are very intuitive, you know, and if they haven't sensed the phoenix and turned on me by now, they probably aren't smart enough to be of any help to us." Kim nodded, thinking this new information over. She was about to say something else, when the doorbell rang. She hurried out to answer it, and had to hold back a groan when she opened the door to reveal Josh. 'Not now!' she thought desperately, but pasted a smile on her face, nonetheless.
"Josh! Hi, what a surprise!"
"Hey Kim." He stood there for a minute, and Kim mentally shook herself.
"Oh, um, would you like to come in?" he smiled at her and she felt her heart flutter. As she backed up to allow him room to pass, she happened to glance back and see that both Ron and Monkey Fist had followed her into the living room. She looked desperately between them and Josh, wishing she were anywhere but where she was at the moment.
"Ms. Possible, I really must insist that we avoid any more distractions. Time is of the essence, you know." Monkey Fist approached her and looked down at Josh in disdain.
"Hey, man, you look kinda like a monkey, you know?" Josh said lazily, looking over Monkey Fist in much the same arrogant manner.
"I don't just LOOK like a monkey! I am a monkey master! I am destined to harness the mystical Monkey Power and become the MONKEY KING!" Monkey Fist declared with typical overblown drama.
"Ok, ok! Chill out everyone. Josh, I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy right now, can I get back with you some time later?" Josh shrugged, seemingly indifferent.
"Sure, no prob." He winked at Kim, then added, "Hey monkey man, you know, that whole monkey-power-king thing sounds like an interesting story. If you ever want to take your tale to Hollywood, I could hook you up." He flipped a small business card towards Monkey fist, turned around, and walked off down the street.
"Hmmm, Joshua Mankey, son of director Robert Mankey." Monkey Fist read. "It has potential...and with a name like Mankey, well, it's so close to Monkey that... yes... I must say this Kim Possible. You may have the irritating habit of thwarting my plans, but at least you seem to have admirable taste in boys." Ron simply smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand.
"I TOLD you, KP. Mankey/ Monkey! He's seriously bad karma." Rufus stuck his head out of Ron's pocket and nodded in vigorous agreement.
"MMM-hmm, monkey- yeachk." Kim sighed.
"So not, Ron. Wade, PLEASE tell me you have something." The kimmunicator screen lit up with the image of her ten-year-old friend.
"No sweat! I found you a ride to the Swahili Coast of Africa, not too far from the hidden temple, and am hot on the trail of the phoenix/ mole rat connection." Kim smiled at the good news, but it faded again as she looked up to notice Ron and Monkey Fist squaring off once more.
"Great. Now if only you could develop a cure for infantile behavior." She looked down again, "Thanks anyway, Wade." He smiled and his picture disappeared.
"Ok people, looks like we're on our way to Africa."
To be continued...