Giles set the tray of tea and scones in front of Buffy. "I must ask a favor of you."
Buffy reached for the nearest scone on the coffee table and took a big bite. "What do you need?"
Giles sat beside her on the couch, removing his glasses to clean them. "A sample of your blood."
Buffy wracked her brain for an explanation for why Giles would make such an unusual request. The only reason she had heard of using blood was for binding rituals. "Why? Are you going to bind me? What are you going to bind me to?"
Giles blanched at her statement. "Bind you? Whatever for?" He studied her face quizzically, "What do you know of binding rituals?" He resumed cleaning his glasses with his handkerchief.
"Enough. Merrick considered it. It's toward the end of the second diary." Giles had returned his glasses to his face and began preparing his cup of tea. "Didn't think I was worthy." Buffy picked at her scone. "Oh, God! When will this nausea ever stop? Excuse me." Buffy ran to the bathroom. Giles heard her retching, then the sound of water running. "May I borrow the phone?"
"Sure, help yourself."
Giles watched as Buffy dialed and spoke into the phone. "Will? I need you. Okay, I'll run out to the car. Fine. Ten minutes? Yes. Bye." Buffy returned to the seat next to Giles. "Ten minutes."
"Willow is bringing you something?"
"Uh. No. Not Willow, Will. He's bringing my medicine. He's a friend from L.A." Buffy curled up on seat next to Giles. "So what's the sitch? What do you need my blood for?"
"A new slayer was called last week, and her mother is hiding her. I was going to use your blood for a locator spell."
Buffy considered this. Giles looked nervous. She didn't entirely trust his motives. "To find the other slayer?"
"Yes."
"Nothing else? Why not use a lock of my hair?"
"Because the slayer mutation is found only in the blood. And I think that using your blood will break through any spells that her mother may have used to hide her. I had no other intentions with your blood, I swear it."
Buffy sank from her perch on the couch to her knees on the floor before her watcher. "Giles, give me your hands." Giles placed his large hands into her tiny ones, watching with curiosity as Buffy turned his hands over, tracing the veins on the back, and then returned them, palms up in front of her. "May I?" At his nod, she then leaned her face into his hands, breathing deeply. She moved past the smell of the tea and scones on his fingers, and the lingering scent of his aftershave, to the pulsing scent of his blood beneath the surface of his hand. It was strong, and pure, and there was no hint of subterfuge in it. Considering what she found, she said to him. "Eyghon is gone."
"Yes. I would think so."
Again drinking in his essence, she peered at him. "You are gay."
Giles chuckled and shook his head. "No."
"Ethan."
Giles nodded. "Oh. I see. We were lovers, once."
"Many times."
Giles nodded again. "We did a lot of magic together, blood magic. Other kinds, as well. Unwise of me."
"Yes." Buffy considered this information. "Can you break those bindings?"
"I don't know, I've never considered it. Where have you learned these things?"
Buffy smirked at him. "Slayer's handbook?"
Giles laughed uncomfortably. "I threw it out for a reason. And blood magic is not in the slayer's handbook." He grasped her hands and turned them palm side up within his. "Perhaps I should return the favor?"
"I doubt you will discover much. Slayer senses, you know."
Giles smirked at her innocence and gently traced the veins on the backs of her hands. He then began to lift her hands to his face. "You'd be surprised. Blood sense is not uniquely a slayer's domain."
Buffy snatched her hands from him, eyeing him warily. "I don't know."
Giles looked crestfallen. "After all this time, you do not trust me?"
"I do not trust myself."
At the sound of a car horn, Giles watched in dismay as Buffy fled the room for the car which was parked in his driveway. She jumped into the car and shut the door behind her. "I'm dying. I threw up, again. Anytime I think of him I start heaving. Help me."
"Here?" A wrist was proffered, a talon raised above it.
Buffy moved closer to the vampire, sitting upon his lap and leaning into his neck. "No, closer to your heart, need more. Starving."
Without a moment's hesitation the talon sliced open his neck and Buffy latched on, drinking in great gulps. The vampire's hands caressed her buttocks as she fed on him. She felt her panties being moved aside and lifted her hips to assist him. She heard a rumbling growl in his chest. "I will have to hunt tonight."
Buffy stopped suckling for a moment. "Fine. Need more." She wrapped her arms around the vampire's chest, rocking in time with him. Soon, she climaxed with a shout. "Will!" She collapsed against his chest, breathing in great gulps of air.
She heard a contented chuckle from her lover. "So the slayer gives her leave for me to hunt?"
"Stay away from my friends and don't touch my mom. And I don't want to hear about it, either."
"Hear no evil. What a quaint notion."
"Exactly. I can't exactly go staking you, can I?"
"Not unless another vampire of the clan takes my place. And at this point, I doubt a fledgling would do."
"Angel then."
"Or Dru."
Buffy made a face. "That's all the masters left in the clan?"
"Yes. You and Angel made quick work of the rest, before." Buffy snuggled up to the cool chest, while the vampire's arms enfolded her in an embrace. "No more meat, Anne, it makes you ill. You cannot eat mortal flesh anymore. Your metabolism has changed." The vampire grinned at her, "Messy eater." He licked the dribbled blood off her face.
"Got it. No more bacon for Buffy. What about dairy?"
"It should be fine until your teeth emerge, then no more."
"So I'll go all 'grr' like you?" Buffy mimed him vamping out.
"No. It's different."
"Huh." Buffy pointed at the rear view mirror. "You have a reflection."
"I do? Really?" The vampire looked into the mirror, seeing his face for the first time in over a century. It was barely a shadow, but it was there. "Good Lord, and you still tolerate me?"
Ignoring his question, Buffy answered, "Giles wants my blood. For a ritual."
"So he's finally going to bind you? Not a real good idea right now. Unless you want to be craving his blood, too. No. Very bad idea. He's mortal." The vampire took her face in his hands. "Do not do it."
"He says he wants to locate the new slayer. She's missing. He says my blood can be used to find her." Buffy took the vampire's hands, and lifted them to her face. "I didn't find any subterfuge. He's not going to bind me with it." She dropped her lover's hands. "He was going to return the favor. Will, can he read my blood? Will he read you in me?"
"I don't know. He's a powerful sorcerer, I suspect he will detect me, but he may not know what he is sensing. He may sense any others you have known as well as me. Angel, of course."
"Giles, a sorcerer? Really? I know he dabbles in stuff. All those books, but..."
"Do you trust Giles? Truly?" Buffy considered, and then nodded slowly. "Then let him sense you, feed him if he wishes it. That will bind him to you, but you will still have your freedom. But warn him first. And do not do the spell without me present. Use Red, and I'll be the fourth. That will give it balance, two males, two females." He kissed her on her head and tousled her hair. "Now go, your Watcher is waiting."
Buffy returned to the apartment, straightening her skirt as she walked up the sidewalk. The car, a dark-tinted red Mercedes, pulled out of the driveway as quickly as it had entered. She entered the apartment to find Giles, exactly as she had left him thirty minutes before, deep in thought. His tea was untouched. "Giles?"
Her watcher looked up at her. "Mmm. Yes, Buffy?"
"Do you still want to..." She held her hands up to him, offering them to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."
Giles took her hands as she sank to the floor before him. "I take no offense. You are right to be cautious."
Giles began tracing her veins, as he had done before, feeling the blood pulsing beneath. When he began to lift her hands, Buffy hesitated. "Giles?"
"Yes, Buffy."
"I'm not the same as I was. Before." She looked into his green-flecked eyes, and reached up to remove his glasses so she could see them more clearly. "Last summer. When I was gone, I did things. I made some choices you will not understand. I made a different life for myself. One that didn't include you. I didn't plan to return here. But I stand by my choices. I am not bound to you." At his nod, she continued. "There have been... others... after Angel."
Giles looked at her sympathetically. "Is that how you supported yourself?"
"No." Buffy gasped. "Giles, no. You think I prostituted myself? No. I worked as a waitress at a diner during the day and you know I worked at a bar at night. It paid well enough."
"Oh. I see. So what, are you telling me you took some other lovers while you were in L.A.? I trust you were careful."
"Yes." Reaching into her back pocket, she pulled out a knife. She handed it to Giles, and placed her hands in his. "Your decision." Giles placed the knife beside him on the sofa, and took her hands up again. "I'm afraid."
He traced her veins once again. "Of what, Buffy?"
"Of what you will think of me. That you will hate me."
"This Will, is he one of your lovers?" Buffy shuddered under his touch, feeling both her pulse and his, matching rhythms. She nodded. Giles placed a gentle kiss on each wrist. "Does he know that you are doing this?" Buffy nodded again. "He does not object." Buffy shook her head. "Do you want to know what I am sensing?" Buffy nodded again. "Strength, slayer strength, that is the strongest thing in your blood. And Angel, that is to be expected. He was your first. And Willow? Perhaps you mixed blood in a fight at some point. Yes, that is it, I can tell. And another lover, one you liked very much. You trusted him." At Buffy's nod, he continued. "Will?"
"No. Probably not. Lorne. He works at the bar with me."
"Oh." Giles returned to his reading, speaking calmly. "Lorne was not completely human, was he?" Buffy shook her head. "You work at a demon bar?" Buffy nodded. Giles considered this new information. "I sense Drusilla in you. I wonder how that can be?" Buffy shrugged. "You have not taken Drusilla as a lover, have you?"
"No. I do not know where she is."
Giles sensed subterfuge for the first time. "That is not true."
Buffy pointed towards the south. "She is somewhere, that way. A long way though."
"You can home onto Drusilla?" Buffy nodded. "What about Willow?"
Buffy considered, then answered. "She is somewhere between her home and downtown. Outside. Walking."
"And Angel?"
Buffy shook her head, feeling her face get wet. "He is gone. No direction. Will says that means he is still in another dimension. It would feel different if he were dead. I don't feel nothing, I can still feel pain from him."
"What about Lorne, can you sense where he is?"
Buffy thought for a moment, then smiled happily. "He is in his apartment over the bar, enjoying himself thoroughly. Wish I were there." Sensing that Lorne had detected her thoughts of him, she giggled. "There are advantages to a telepathic lover."
"Yes, I am aware of that." Wistfully thinking of his times with Ethan, Giles leaned further into her hands, tracing the lines of her palms. "Can you think of someone, perhaps, who is not your lover? Xander, maybe?" As Buffy focused her thoughts on Xander, Giles felt a small surge. "Yes, there he is."
Buffy giggled again. "Smooching with Cordy. Again."
"Oz?" He felt another tiny surge, and with this one Willow's signature brightened. "He is with Willow, then." Buffy nodded. "Can you focus on me, the same way?" Buffy nodded, and focused her concentration on her watcher. Giles felt the same small surge that he had felt with Oz and Xander, but when he followed his signature in her blood, he was pulled into a whirlpool current of tumbling emotions and ties and... "Stop! Think about Cordelia." Buffy returned her thoughts to Cordelia. Giles schooled his voice carefully. "I would not say we aren't bonded. The pull is very strong. I wonder how."
Buffy shrugged. "The dreams, perhaps?"
"Maybe. Watchers make certain oaths, blood oaths. But I would think that would affect me, not you. You shouldn't have those pulls unless you were bound either to me or to Merrick."
"What about another watcher? If I were bound to him? Would that tie me to you?"
"It could. But Merrick and I are the only watchers you've had."
Buffy considered what he said and then shook her head. "I don't understand, then. Maybe the connection is through Will."
"He is a watcher?" Giles wracked his brain for an active watcher named William, he couldn't think of one. "He's not active, then?"
"No. "
"Can you think about him, where is he?" Buffy thought about Will, feeling a warmth suffuse her. Giles picked up the surges in her blood, but they were churning throughout her, not a single peak as the others had been. "You have performed blood magic with him? You must know that blood magic is dangerous."
Buffy shrugged. "In a way, I suppose. What's done cannot be undone."
"Are you sure of that?" At her nod, Giles picked up a new signal, similar to ones he had once sensed in Ethan. Cravings. "Are you using drugs?" Buffy shook her head no. "So where is he?"
"The old mansion. Library. Reading."
Giles felt a cold panic seize his heart. "Can you tell more of what he is doing? What is he reading?"
Buffy reached out, feeling through her bond. She felt Will's barriers lower, and he fed her the answer. "An old Watcher's diary. Anna McCary?"
"There was a slayer by that name about sixty years ago. Her watcher's diaries were lost." Buffy nodded. "Did he speak to you? He knows you know what he is reading?" Buffy nodded again. "Does he know who killed her?" Receiving the answer, Buffy nodded again. "Who?"
"Darla."
Giles shook his head. So this Will did not know everything. "That is not what our books say. They say Drusilla did it."
Again Will fed an answer to her. "Darla. She was Darla's kill. The watcher was Dru's."
"And he knows this, how?"
Again an answer came her way. "He was there." Giles dropped Buffy's hands and backed away from her. A few seconds later, Giles stood up and walked away from her, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand while reaching for the glasses in his pocket with the other. Buffy was crestfallen. "Do you hate me now?"
"No, of course not. What have you done, Buffy? These cravings, they are for Will?" At her nod, he continued.
"And Will is Spike. You have mated with him."
Feeling the answer through the bond, Buffy shook her head, and whispered "No. He is mated to Drusilla. He cannot mate to me while she still lives and holds the bond."
"And that is why I feel Drusilla in you." Buffy nodded, hearing Will's answer in her head. Giles grabbed her by the shoulders and hauled her up to a standing position. Buffy did not resist. "Tell me what Spike is to you!"
"Everything."
Giles pulled the collar of her shirt to one side, searching for bite marks. There were none. "Has he marked you? Does he feed from you?"
"No. Yes. The bites heal quickly now. A few minutes at most, and they are gone."
"What about those scratches from last night? Is that what he does to you? Is that why you allow him to feed from you? Is that why you ran here?"
"No. It was a werewolf. He lured it away from me. I told you the truth. The scratches are gone, too." Buffy pulled her shirt back around her neck, suddenly feeling exposed.
Giles looked doubtful. "Werewolf scratches don't heal so quickly. Not even for a slayer." He pulled the back of her shirt up, her back was completely free of marks, as if they had never been there before. "Why should I believe you?"
"Why should I lie to you? I am sick and tired of lies. There is the knife, find out for yourself." Losing her patience, Buffy grabbed the knife off the couch and sliced her hand open. Giles watched in openmouthed shock as her skin slowly knitted itself back together before his eyes in a matter of moments, leaving only a small trail of blood behind. "I told you. I am not the same." She licked the blood off her hand, noticing that the action once again triggered the craving for blood. In an attempt to stave it off, she grabbed a scone off the table and stuffed it in her mouth.
"You fed from him." Giles stated flatly. "That is why you heal so quickly."
"Yes."
"How much? When?"
Buffy heard the answer through the bond, but decided to edit it. "Enough. Occasionally."
She could hear the chuckles of the eavesdropping vampire in the bond. There was nothing 'occasional' about the cravings; they were nearly constant now.
"You must stop. This is madness, Buffy! What do the two of you think you are doing? Do you even know what you have done?"
"It is too late. The deed is done. I am committed to this choice. If I stop at this point, I die."
"Oh, dear Lord. He's turning you."
"In a manner of speaking, yes. I assure you I am still alive. And my soul, for what it's worth, is still intact."
"Yes, it would be, wouldn't it?" Giles sank back into the sofa, at last realizing the ramifications of Buffy's actions. "Who knows about this?"
"Lorne. Oz. Maybe Dru. She probably can feel it through her bond with Will. I doubt she likes it much."
"Well, word from the Council is that she and Spike killed a slayer last week. The Council has sent out operatives searching for them."
"Tell them to call it off. It may have been Dru, but it certainly wasn't Will."
"I don't have that kind of power."
"Sure you do. I'm the slayer, you're the watcher, and the Council answers to us."
"No. It doesn't, not anymore. In the Council's eyes, you're not the slayer, Hannah is. And the Council answers to Quentin Travers."
"Well, fine by me, then. I can take my old watcher's journals, and my mom, and I'll move off this god-forsaken hellmouth. And who do you think can find the new slayer first? Operatives that couldn't find me in L.A. right under their noses? Or Dru? And if I'm missing, and she's missing, who's the slayer then?"
Giles folded his hands over his chest and gave her a disappointed glare. "And so you'll just run away again."
"Stop! Just stop, Giles! I can't take this. Do you think this is easy for me? Oh, just great." Overcome with nausea, Buffy ran from him, heading for the bathroom.
Giles stood outside the bathroom, listening to her gagging. "Buffy, do you need help?"
"No. I'm calming down. I'll be okay. Can we just..." Buffy stepped out of the bathroom, taking a deep breath.
"Not fight?"
"Yes. Perhaps we should discuss this at a later time. When I've had time to absorb the information. Did you bring the Watcher's diaries?"
"They are in my gym bag. All seven of them."
"Good, I'll go get them." Lifting the bag onto the kitchen table, Giles fished out the books, and passed the bag over to Buffy. "Why don't you put on your gym clothes and warm up? Or take a jog if you feel like it? Maybe that will help you relax some. I'll look these over."
Buffy giggled, "What a concept, running without being chased. Let me have one of these scones." Giles found the first of Merrick's diaries and opened it.
Buffy reached for the nearest scone on the coffee table and took a big bite. "What do you need?"
Giles sat beside her on the couch, removing his glasses to clean them. "A sample of your blood."
Buffy wracked her brain for an explanation for why Giles would make such an unusual request. The only reason she had heard of using blood was for binding rituals. "Why? Are you going to bind me? What are you going to bind me to?"
Giles blanched at her statement. "Bind you? Whatever for?" He studied her face quizzically, "What do you know of binding rituals?" He resumed cleaning his glasses with his handkerchief.
"Enough. Merrick considered it. It's toward the end of the second diary." Giles had returned his glasses to his face and began preparing his cup of tea. "Didn't think I was worthy." Buffy picked at her scone. "Oh, God! When will this nausea ever stop? Excuse me." Buffy ran to the bathroom. Giles heard her retching, then the sound of water running. "May I borrow the phone?"
"Sure, help yourself."
Giles watched as Buffy dialed and spoke into the phone. "Will? I need you. Okay, I'll run out to the car. Fine. Ten minutes? Yes. Bye." Buffy returned to the seat next to Giles. "Ten minutes."
"Willow is bringing you something?"
"Uh. No. Not Willow, Will. He's bringing my medicine. He's a friend from L.A." Buffy curled up on seat next to Giles. "So what's the sitch? What do you need my blood for?"
"A new slayer was called last week, and her mother is hiding her. I was going to use your blood for a locator spell."
Buffy considered this. Giles looked nervous. She didn't entirely trust his motives. "To find the other slayer?"
"Yes."
"Nothing else? Why not use a lock of my hair?"
"Because the slayer mutation is found only in the blood. And I think that using your blood will break through any spells that her mother may have used to hide her. I had no other intentions with your blood, I swear it."
Buffy sank from her perch on the couch to her knees on the floor before her watcher. "Giles, give me your hands." Giles placed his large hands into her tiny ones, watching with curiosity as Buffy turned his hands over, tracing the veins on the back, and then returned them, palms up in front of her. "May I?" At his nod, she then leaned her face into his hands, breathing deeply. She moved past the smell of the tea and scones on his fingers, and the lingering scent of his aftershave, to the pulsing scent of his blood beneath the surface of his hand. It was strong, and pure, and there was no hint of subterfuge in it. Considering what she found, she said to him. "Eyghon is gone."
"Yes. I would think so."
Again drinking in his essence, she peered at him. "You are gay."
Giles chuckled and shook his head. "No."
"Ethan."
Giles nodded. "Oh. I see. We were lovers, once."
"Many times."
Giles nodded again. "We did a lot of magic together, blood magic. Other kinds, as well. Unwise of me."
"Yes." Buffy considered this information. "Can you break those bindings?"
"I don't know, I've never considered it. Where have you learned these things?"
Buffy smirked at him. "Slayer's handbook?"
Giles laughed uncomfortably. "I threw it out for a reason. And blood magic is not in the slayer's handbook." He grasped her hands and turned them palm side up within his. "Perhaps I should return the favor?"
"I doubt you will discover much. Slayer senses, you know."
Giles smirked at her innocence and gently traced the veins on the backs of her hands. He then began to lift her hands to his face. "You'd be surprised. Blood sense is not uniquely a slayer's domain."
Buffy snatched her hands from him, eyeing him warily. "I don't know."
Giles looked crestfallen. "After all this time, you do not trust me?"
"I do not trust myself."
At the sound of a car horn, Giles watched in dismay as Buffy fled the room for the car which was parked in his driveway. She jumped into the car and shut the door behind her. "I'm dying. I threw up, again. Anytime I think of him I start heaving. Help me."
"Here?" A wrist was proffered, a talon raised above it.
Buffy moved closer to the vampire, sitting upon his lap and leaning into his neck. "No, closer to your heart, need more. Starving."
Without a moment's hesitation the talon sliced open his neck and Buffy latched on, drinking in great gulps. The vampire's hands caressed her buttocks as she fed on him. She felt her panties being moved aside and lifted her hips to assist him. She heard a rumbling growl in his chest. "I will have to hunt tonight."
Buffy stopped suckling for a moment. "Fine. Need more." She wrapped her arms around the vampire's chest, rocking in time with him. Soon, she climaxed with a shout. "Will!" She collapsed against his chest, breathing in great gulps of air.
She heard a contented chuckle from her lover. "So the slayer gives her leave for me to hunt?"
"Stay away from my friends and don't touch my mom. And I don't want to hear about it, either."
"Hear no evil. What a quaint notion."
"Exactly. I can't exactly go staking you, can I?"
"Not unless another vampire of the clan takes my place. And at this point, I doubt a fledgling would do."
"Angel then."
"Or Dru."
Buffy made a face. "That's all the masters left in the clan?"
"Yes. You and Angel made quick work of the rest, before." Buffy snuggled up to the cool chest, while the vampire's arms enfolded her in an embrace. "No more meat, Anne, it makes you ill. You cannot eat mortal flesh anymore. Your metabolism has changed." The vampire grinned at her, "Messy eater." He licked the dribbled blood off her face.
"Got it. No more bacon for Buffy. What about dairy?"
"It should be fine until your teeth emerge, then no more."
"So I'll go all 'grr' like you?" Buffy mimed him vamping out.
"No. It's different."
"Huh." Buffy pointed at the rear view mirror. "You have a reflection."
"I do? Really?" The vampire looked into the mirror, seeing his face for the first time in over a century. It was barely a shadow, but it was there. "Good Lord, and you still tolerate me?"
Ignoring his question, Buffy answered, "Giles wants my blood. For a ritual."
"So he's finally going to bind you? Not a real good idea right now. Unless you want to be craving his blood, too. No. Very bad idea. He's mortal." The vampire took her face in his hands. "Do not do it."
"He says he wants to locate the new slayer. She's missing. He says my blood can be used to find her." Buffy took the vampire's hands, and lifted them to her face. "I didn't find any subterfuge. He's not going to bind me with it." She dropped her lover's hands. "He was going to return the favor. Will, can he read my blood? Will he read you in me?"
"I don't know. He's a powerful sorcerer, I suspect he will detect me, but he may not know what he is sensing. He may sense any others you have known as well as me. Angel, of course."
"Giles, a sorcerer? Really? I know he dabbles in stuff. All those books, but..."
"Do you trust Giles? Truly?" Buffy considered, and then nodded slowly. "Then let him sense you, feed him if he wishes it. That will bind him to you, but you will still have your freedom. But warn him first. And do not do the spell without me present. Use Red, and I'll be the fourth. That will give it balance, two males, two females." He kissed her on her head and tousled her hair. "Now go, your Watcher is waiting."
Buffy returned to the apartment, straightening her skirt as she walked up the sidewalk. The car, a dark-tinted red Mercedes, pulled out of the driveway as quickly as it had entered. She entered the apartment to find Giles, exactly as she had left him thirty minutes before, deep in thought. His tea was untouched. "Giles?"
Her watcher looked up at her. "Mmm. Yes, Buffy?"
"Do you still want to..." She held her hands up to him, offering them to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."
Giles took her hands as she sank to the floor before him. "I take no offense. You are right to be cautious."
Giles began tracing her veins, as he had done before, feeling the blood pulsing beneath. When he began to lift her hands, Buffy hesitated. "Giles?"
"Yes, Buffy."
"I'm not the same as I was. Before." She looked into his green-flecked eyes, and reached up to remove his glasses so she could see them more clearly. "Last summer. When I was gone, I did things. I made some choices you will not understand. I made a different life for myself. One that didn't include you. I didn't plan to return here. But I stand by my choices. I am not bound to you." At his nod, she continued. "There have been... others... after Angel."
Giles looked at her sympathetically. "Is that how you supported yourself?"
"No." Buffy gasped. "Giles, no. You think I prostituted myself? No. I worked as a waitress at a diner during the day and you know I worked at a bar at night. It paid well enough."
"Oh. I see. So what, are you telling me you took some other lovers while you were in L.A.? I trust you were careful."
"Yes." Reaching into her back pocket, she pulled out a knife. She handed it to Giles, and placed her hands in his. "Your decision." Giles placed the knife beside him on the sofa, and took her hands up again. "I'm afraid."
He traced her veins once again. "Of what, Buffy?"
"Of what you will think of me. That you will hate me."
"This Will, is he one of your lovers?" Buffy shuddered under his touch, feeling both her pulse and his, matching rhythms. She nodded. Giles placed a gentle kiss on each wrist. "Does he know that you are doing this?" Buffy nodded again. "He does not object." Buffy shook her head. "Do you want to know what I am sensing?" Buffy nodded again. "Strength, slayer strength, that is the strongest thing in your blood. And Angel, that is to be expected. He was your first. And Willow? Perhaps you mixed blood in a fight at some point. Yes, that is it, I can tell. And another lover, one you liked very much. You trusted him." At Buffy's nod, he continued. "Will?"
"No. Probably not. Lorne. He works at the bar with me."
"Oh." Giles returned to his reading, speaking calmly. "Lorne was not completely human, was he?" Buffy shook her head. "You work at a demon bar?" Buffy nodded. Giles considered this new information. "I sense Drusilla in you. I wonder how that can be?" Buffy shrugged. "You have not taken Drusilla as a lover, have you?"
"No. I do not know where she is."
Giles sensed subterfuge for the first time. "That is not true."
Buffy pointed towards the south. "She is somewhere, that way. A long way though."
"You can home onto Drusilla?" Buffy nodded. "What about Willow?"
Buffy considered, then answered. "She is somewhere between her home and downtown. Outside. Walking."
"And Angel?"
Buffy shook her head, feeling her face get wet. "He is gone. No direction. Will says that means he is still in another dimension. It would feel different if he were dead. I don't feel nothing, I can still feel pain from him."
"What about Lorne, can you sense where he is?"
Buffy thought for a moment, then smiled happily. "He is in his apartment over the bar, enjoying himself thoroughly. Wish I were there." Sensing that Lorne had detected her thoughts of him, she giggled. "There are advantages to a telepathic lover."
"Yes, I am aware of that." Wistfully thinking of his times with Ethan, Giles leaned further into her hands, tracing the lines of her palms. "Can you think of someone, perhaps, who is not your lover? Xander, maybe?" As Buffy focused her thoughts on Xander, Giles felt a small surge. "Yes, there he is."
Buffy giggled again. "Smooching with Cordy. Again."
"Oz?" He felt another tiny surge, and with this one Willow's signature brightened. "He is with Willow, then." Buffy nodded. "Can you focus on me, the same way?" Buffy nodded, and focused her concentration on her watcher. Giles felt the same small surge that he had felt with Oz and Xander, but when he followed his signature in her blood, he was pulled into a whirlpool current of tumbling emotions and ties and... "Stop! Think about Cordelia." Buffy returned her thoughts to Cordelia. Giles schooled his voice carefully. "I would not say we aren't bonded. The pull is very strong. I wonder how."
Buffy shrugged. "The dreams, perhaps?"
"Maybe. Watchers make certain oaths, blood oaths. But I would think that would affect me, not you. You shouldn't have those pulls unless you were bound either to me or to Merrick."
"What about another watcher? If I were bound to him? Would that tie me to you?"
"It could. But Merrick and I are the only watchers you've had."
Buffy considered what he said and then shook her head. "I don't understand, then. Maybe the connection is through Will."
"He is a watcher?" Giles wracked his brain for an active watcher named William, he couldn't think of one. "He's not active, then?"
"No. "
"Can you think about him, where is he?" Buffy thought about Will, feeling a warmth suffuse her. Giles picked up the surges in her blood, but they were churning throughout her, not a single peak as the others had been. "You have performed blood magic with him? You must know that blood magic is dangerous."
Buffy shrugged. "In a way, I suppose. What's done cannot be undone."
"Are you sure of that?" At her nod, Giles picked up a new signal, similar to ones he had once sensed in Ethan. Cravings. "Are you using drugs?" Buffy shook her head no. "So where is he?"
"The old mansion. Library. Reading."
Giles felt a cold panic seize his heart. "Can you tell more of what he is doing? What is he reading?"
Buffy reached out, feeling through her bond. She felt Will's barriers lower, and he fed her the answer. "An old Watcher's diary. Anna McCary?"
"There was a slayer by that name about sixty years ago. Her watcher's diaries were lost." Buffy nodded. "Did he speak to you? He knows you know what he is reading?" Buffy nodded again. "Does he know who killed her?" Receiving the answer, Buffy nodded again. "Who?"
"Darla."
Giles shook his head. So this Will did not know everything. "That is not what our books say. They say Drusilla did it."
Again Will fed an answer to her. "Darla. She was Darla's kill. The watcher was Dru's."
"And he knows this, how?"
Again an answer came her way. "He was there." Giles dropped Buffy's hands and backed away from her. A few seconds later, Giles stood up and walked away from her, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand while reaching for the glasses in his pocket with the other. Buffy was crestfallen. "Do you hate me now?"
"No, of course not. What have you done, Buffy? These cravings, they are for Will?" At her nod, he continued.
"And Will is Spike. You have mated with him."
Feeling the answer through the bond, Buffy shook her head, and whispered "No. He is mated to Drusilla. He cannot mate to me while she still lives and holds the bond."
"And that is why I feel Drusilla in you." Buffy nodded, hearing Will's answer in her head. Giles grabbed her by the shoulders and hauled her up to a standing position. Buffy did not resist. "Tell me what Spike is to you!"
"Everything."
Giles pulled the collar of her shirt to one side, searching for bite marks. There were none. "Has he marked you? Does he feed from you?"
"No. Yes. The bites heal quickly now. A few minutes at most, and they are gone."
"What about those scratches from last night? Is that what he does to you? Is that why you allow him to feed from you? Is that why you ran here?"
"No. It was a werewolf. He lured it away from me. I told you the truth. The scratches are gone, too." Buffy pulled her shirt back around her neck, suddenly feeling exposed.
Giles looked doubtful. "Werewolf scratches don't heal so quickly. Not even for a slayer." He pulled the back of her shirt up, her back was completely free of marks, as if they had never been there before. "Why should I believe you?"
"Why should I lie to you? I am sick and tired of lies. There is the knife, find out for yourself." Losing her patience, Buffy grabbed the knife off the couch and sliced her hand open. Giles watched in openmouthed shock as her skin slowly knitted itself back together before his eyes in a matter of moments, leaving only a small trail of blood behind. "I told you. I am not the same." She licked the blood off her hand, noticing that the action once again triggered the craving for blood. In an attempt to stave it off, she grabbed a scone off the table and stuffed it in her mouth.
"You fed from him." Giles stated flatly. "That is why you heal so quickly."
"Yes."
"How much? When?"
Buffy heard the answer through the bond, but decided to edit it. "Enough. Occasionally."
She could hear the chuckles of the eavesdropping vampire in the bond. There was nothing 'occasional' about the cravings; they were nearly constant now.
"You must stop. This is madness, Buffy! What do the two of you think you are doing? Do you even know what you have done?"
"It is too late. The deed is done. I am committed to this choice. If I stop at this point, I die."
"Oh, dear Lord. He's turning you."
"In a manner of speaking, yes. I assure you I am still alive. And my soul, for what it's worth, is still intact."
"Yes, it would be, wouldn't it?" Giles sank back into the sofa, at last realizing the ramifications of Buffy's actions. "Who knows about this?"
"Lorne. Oz. Maybe Dru. She probably can feel it through her bond with Will. I doubt she likes it much."
"Well, word from the Council is that she and Spike killed a slayer last week. The Council has sent out operatives searching for them."
"Tell them to call it off. It may have been Dru, but it certainly wasn't Will."
"I don't have that kind of power."
"Sure you do. I'm the slayer, you're the watcher, and the Council answers to us."
"No. It doesn't, not anymore. In the Council's eyes, you're not the slayer, Hannah is. And the Council answers to Quentin Travers."
"Well, fine by me, then. I can take my old watcher's journals, and my mom, and I'll move off this god-forsaken hellmouth. And who do you think can find the new slayer first? Operatives that couldn't find me in L.A. right under their noses? Or Dru? And if I'm missing, and she's missing, who's the slayer then?"
Giles folded his hands over his chest and gave her a disappointed glare. "And so you'll just run away again."
"Stop! Just stop, Giles! I can't take this. Do you think this is easy for me? Oh, just great." Overcome with nausea, Buffy ran from him, heading for the bathroom.
Giles stood outside the bathroom, listening to her gagging. "Buffy, do you need help?"
"No. I'm calming down. I'll be okay. Can we just..." Buffy stepped out of the bathroom, taking a deep breath.
"Not fight?"
"Yes. Perhaps we should discuss this at a later time. When I've had time to absorb the information. Did you bring the Watcher's diaries?"
"They are in my gym bag. All seven of them."
"Good, I'll go get them." Lifting the bag onto the kitchen table, Giles fished out the books, and passed the bag over to Buffy. "Why don't you put on your gym clothes and warm up? Or take a jog if you feel like it? Maybe that will help you relax some. I'll look these over."
Buffy giggled, "What a concept, running without being chased. Let me have one of these scones." Giles found the first of Merrick's diaries and opened it.