Chapter 3

Remus woke to an empty bed – there was a note on the bedside table from Cassius.

Remus,

Sorry I had to go so early, Moody is having a special extra session before normal classes begin. Please have breakfast with Tabby, she'll enjoy the company.

(There was a dark ink spot where Cassius had let the quill sit while he had thought what to write next) I know I haven't told you a lot about my family, if you want to know (another dark ink spot) ask me and I'll tell you. I never really felt love for them or from them, except Lucius. And I never felt it for any of the men I dated, but I think I feel it for you.

I hope you're there tonight when I get home.

Cassius

Remus did stay at Windy Corner all day. He found Cassius's library and spent the day happily reading books.

When Cassius got home, he convinced Remus to take a bubble bath with him. The bathtub was huge, easily accommodating the two of them. Afterwards, they'd moved into Cassius' bed. As he lay on the bed a couple hours later, staring at the ceiling, Remus felt himself blush as he remembered where Cassius' fingers had been.

Over a month later…

"I better get going. The moon is going to rise in a few hours." Remus stood up from the chair in Windy Corner's sitting room that he had begun to think of as his.

"Couldn't you stay here?" Cassius asked quickly.

"No…it's not safe for you." Remus shook his head sadly, he hated the lonely full moons without the Marauders, but it wasn't safe for anyone to be around him.

"Could I come by tomorrow and check on you?" Cassius stood up too, to walk Remus to the kitchen.

"Umm…"

"Please? I could help!"

"All right…but make sure you don't come until the moon has set."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then." Cassius smiled and pulled Remus in for a quick kiss.

The transformation was horrible, as usual. Remus woke in pain on the floor of his parents' basement. He heard footsteps cross the floor above him.

"Remus?" Cassius' voice echoed above him.

Remus couldn't find the strength to answer, he searched for the blanket that was near him and dragged it over his naked body. He knew it was silly, Cassius had already seen him naked a few times but Remus suddenly felt very self-conscious. He had cuts and bruises all over his body. He heard Cassius unlock the door leading down to the basement and a moment later he saw Cassius descend the stairs.

"Hi." Cassius said shyly. Remus nodded. "Let's get you to bed." Cassius crouched down and gathered Remus into his arms. He carried Remus up two flights of stairs to Remus' room. He laid Remus on his bed and helped Remus under the covers.

"I'm not that great with healing charms, I'm working on it though… but I got some healing salve from Moody. So…" Cassius slowly moved the blanket down. He reached in his pocket and pulled out the bottle. He slowly smoothed the salve over Remus's chest and stomach. The cuts and bruises started to fade away. "Here." Cassius reached for Remus and gently pulled him up. Remus rested his cheek on Cassius's shoulder. Cassius's long fingers smoothed the salve over the bruises on his back. Cassius pressed a kiss on the back on his neck. Remus sighed. Cassius eased him back on the bed and covered him back up with blanket. He moved the blanket away from Remus's legs. Remus marveled at how thoughtful Cassius was, that he knew Remus would be self conscious and so kept most of him covered while he was putting the salve on Remus's body. After all the cuts and bruises were taken care of, Cassius looked down at Remus.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Better…Except…"

"What?"

"I'm cold." Remus was shivering.

"Ah…" Cassius laid down beside Remus and gently surrounded him with his arms and pulled him close. "See how helpful I am?"

"You're very helpful." Remus smiled as he snuggled even closer to Cassius.

"So I can come by every month, right?" There was a pause as Remus thought about it. After the moon set, there was no reason really for Cassius not to be there… "Right?"

"Yes."

"Good." Cassius tightened his hold on Remus. Remus felt his body relax as the warmth from Cassius seeped into his bones. "Happy Birthday."

"What?"

"It's August 2nd, that's your birthday right? Moody told me it was."

"It is…I…I haven't really celebrated it much the past few years."

"Well, we're going to celebrate it tonight. How old are you?"

"Twenty four." Remus shifted carefully. He had a twin bed and between the two of them it was a tight fit. "When's your birthday?"

"Day after the Winter Solstice"

"So, you're 20 now?"

"Have been for a while."

"Why didn't you tell me? We'd already met, we could have done something for it."

"We'll do something for it this year. Now, you need to sleep. Are you warm enough?" Remus nodded. "Good. Go to sleep." Cassius's fingers brushed through the hair at Remus's temple, lulling him to sleep.

A couple months later, Remus and Cassius were sitting in Cassius' library. He had many books that were in the Hogwarts Restricted Section and Remus was finally getting to find out all the information he'd ever wanted to know.

"Remus." Cassius had put the book he was reading down in his lap.

"Hmm?" Remus looked up from the book he was reading.

"Have you ever wanted to have sex?" Cassius asked the question casually.

"What?" Remus was taken aback.

"Have you ever wanted to have sex?" The question was repeated in the same cool manner.

"Wh-why are you asking?" Remus was stalling for time, he didn't know how to answer. He and Sirius had fooled around - they'd been 'friends with benefits' for about three years but Remus had never felt the burning need to have sex. The last few months, he and Cassius had made out more and more often, with more and more passion and intimacy– but he hadn't yet felt like he had to have sex. He'd read in books that a werewolf would know when it was time to mate so he figured it just wasn't going to happen for him. If he didn't feel it for Cassius, he couldn't imagine feeling it for anyone else.

"Well, I was just curious, I mean, I..."

"If you want to have sex – you could always…have sex with other people. I wouldn't mind - we could still see each other." Remus blurted out, he didn't want to lose Cassius because he wasn't ready to have sex. Sirius had had sex with other people and it hadn't harmed their relationship much. He tried very hard not to think about someone else's hands on his Cassius's body. As he suddenly realized he thought of Cassius as his and that he didn't want to share, he heard Cassius's voice.

"Have sex with other people?" Cassius looked stunned.

"Well – you've had sex with other people…haven't you?" Remus asked in a small voice.

"Yes, but not since we've been dating. I wouldn't be able to have sex with someone else now." Cassius sounded disgusted with the idea. "I don't want to have sex with someone just to have sex, I want to have sex with you. I'll wait until you're ready, no matter how long it takes."

"That's….almost romantic" Remus smiled lovingly at Cassius.

"Is it really? Would it be actually romantic if I added the fact that I love you?"

"I think so."

"I was just asking." Cassius smirked, going back to reading his book. Remus stood up and walked over to Cassius.

"Say it."

"What?" Cassius blinked up at him.

"Say you love me." Remus knelt down and started tickling him. True to his word, Remus had told Cassius he loved him every day for the past three months, Cassius had never said it back although Remus knew that Cassius cared deeply for him, so it hadn't bothered him.

"Stop! Stop!" Cassius was very ticklish. He tried to get away from Remus but only succeeded in being pinned to the floor by Remus, who was much stronger than he looked.

"Say it!" Remus growled, he stopped tickling Cassius.

"I'm only saying it because I don't want you to start tickling me again, but… I love you."

"You love me? You mean it?" Remus was momentarily breathless at hearing the words from Cassius.

"Of course I mean it. I love you." Cassius grinned. Remus leaned down and kissed him.

The next week, Remus was sitting in the sitting room waiting for Cassius to return from his brother's birthday party. Cassius had insisted that Remus stay at Windy Corner until he returned. He looked up as he heard Cassius Apparate in the kitchen and walked from the sitting room to greet him. Remus froze on the kitchen threshold – waves of energy were radiating off of Cassius. Cassius was staring at the floor, breathing hard. He looked up and Remus was jolted back a step by his eyes. They were black, wild. The fire was much larger than normal and there was a wind whipping around the kitchen.

"Cassius…" Remus couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Get…upstairs." Cassius ground out the words with effort. Remus rushed towards the stairs. Moody had teased Cassius about his temper but Remus hadn't really believed the stories. Behind him he heard glass and pottery shattering and the house shook. Tabby met him at the top of the stairs.

"Cassius arrived home, then?" She said calmly, obviously she'd seen Cassius like this before. Remus nodded.

"I don't know why he still goes there – he often comes home like this. He doesn't let his father see that he gets mad so he waits until he gets home…" Tabby put her hand on Remus' arm. "This is the first time you've seen him like this, isn't it." He nodded. "It's something to behold, wandless magic…"

Remus heard steps behind him, coming up the stairs. He turned around. Cassius was standing there, he seemed calmer but now there were bloody cuts on his face, arms and chest.

"I repaired most of the damage." He looked at Tabby.

"Remus will take care of you." Tabby replied gently, and she walked down the stairs to check on 'her' kitchen.

Remus steered Cassius into the bathroom. Cassius sat on the counter, facing away from the mirror. He never appeared to look at any mirror, Remus had once walked in on him shaving with his eyes closed. He had nicked himself a few times before Remus took over. He figured it was some auror training thing of Moody's and hadn't questioned, now every morning that he was there, he shaved Cassius' face.

"What happened?" Remus asked as he repaired the small cuts on Cassius' face. He had to use his wand to extract the glass shards. Cassius didn't even wince.

"Do you really want to know?" Cassius didn't look at him.

"Yes."

"Father said I was a shameful blot on the Malfoy name and he never thought any son of his would be an auror. Then, of course, he had to point out how wonderful Lucius is, a Death Eater, who escaped punishment, who married a woman, who had an heir. I didn't care about that, it's all things I've heard before but then he tried to use the Imperious curse on me - to beat me, like he used to – I was able to throw it off before he could do anything. Draco started to cry and Father said he would have to start disciplining Draco, like he used to Lucius and me, because four year olds shouldn't cry. Lucius just sat there, he didn't say anything. If I had a son, I wouldn't let Father know he existed. And all that was before dinner even started. I lost it when I realized he'd put Veritaserum in my drink. He thinks I have someone – he wants to know who. But he didn't find out anything significant before I Apparated." Cassius related everything in what Remus privately thought of as his Malfoy voice, it was cold and hard and emotionless.

"I…that's…" Remus couldn't think of anything to say.

"It's horrible. He's horrible." Remus reached for Cassius' hand. Cassius' voice melted. "You still…love me?"

"Of course I do!"

"It's just that…I try not to lose my temper…"

"I'd have lost my temper too." Remus smiled. "I love you."