Chapter 4

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The Fight

"Remus, I have a question for you." Cassius propped his head up on his hand as he laid on his side next to Remus. The sun was starting to come in the window, it looked like it would be a beautiful Fall day.

"Hmmm?" Remus couldn't find the strength to answer, he was worn out, although they still hadn't had actual intercourse, they had found many other ways to be intimate. Cassius was very inventive and right now Remus felt like jelly. He didn't know how Cassius had the energy to talk – he guessed it must be because he was four years younger.

"Do you love me?" Cassius trailed his long fingers down Remus' chest, making swirling patterns as he went.

"Yes. You know I do." Remus turned his head to look over at his love.

"And you know I love you, right?" Cassius looked very earnest. Remus nodded, with great effort.

"We've been dating two years…"

"One year, eight months, that I am aware of." Remus said lazily.

"Yes, all right, anyway …" Cassius cleared his throat nervously. "Remus, will you marry me?"

"What?"  Remus was startled. Ever since the werewolf had bite him, he'd resigned himself to the fact that no one would ever want to marry him.

"Will you marry me? Mate with me? Whatever you want to call it." Cassius spoke very slowly and clearly.

"I…no…Cassius, you don't want to marry me." Remus shook his head.  Cassius shouldn't – couldn't marry a werewolf,  he was a promising auror, he'd just completed the three years of training, he'd been first in his class. And what would his family think or do – Remus knew Cassius didn't care but he hated to think that Cassius would be hurt because of him. He wasn't worth the trouble.

"I just asked you, and you tell me I don't want to." Cassius sat up, sounding angry.

"I'm a werewolf – and your career – your family – and I'm a werewolf."

"I know that, Remus." Cassius' eyes darkened to black. "You tell me almost every bloody day! I told you I don't care. I love you. I love you and I want to spend my life with you."

"No…I can't marry you." Remus whispered. "You don't want me for the rest of your life - you're only 21."

"I'm 22 soon…And anyway, don't tell me what I want, Remus. I know what I want.  I want you. You're only 25, it's not like you know everything." Cassius was getting angrier, Remus could feel the energy starting to radiate from him. The fire in the fireplace was starting to grow bigger.

"I can't. The Ministry, your family…" Remus sat up too, feeling tears fill his eyes.

"I don't care about the Ministry knowing, they wouldn't do anything to me – but I never said the whole damn world would know, Remus. It's too dangerous for you if Father knew, so it'd have to be a secret – I just want you to marry me." Cassius grabbed Remus by the shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes. Remus could feel the waves of energy jolting through him now. "I want to be your mate.  I want to be inside you. I want to mate with you. I want you here with me every day, every night. I want us to be married, to be together, forever." Cassius spoke every word clearly and distinctly as if he was trying to communicate with an obstinate child.

"No." Remus couldn't say yes, he just couldn't.

Cassius swiftly got out of bed and starting yanking his clothes on.

"Where are you going?" Remus felt his stomach start to flip flop.

"I'm going for a walk." Cassius' voice was emotionless. He stalked out the door and Remus could hear him walking down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Cassius, where are you going?" He could hear Tabby call after Cassius. The only answer was the back door slamming.

Remus slowly got up and got dressed.  He figured Cassius wouldn't want him here when he returned. He knew that the less emotion his voice had, the more angry or upset Cassius was. He had only begun showing all of his emotions to Remus after the conversation about the scars on his back. But he still retreated back into his Malfoy mask when he was really hurt.

Remus walked down the stairs slowly and into the kitchen. He asked Tabby for paper and a quill and left a note for Cassius explaining that he loved him and just wanted him to be safe and he didn't think being married to a werewolf would be good for Cassius. Tabby gave him some breakfast to take home before he floo-ed back to his house.

The next week was a blur as it approached the full moon. He had a horrible transformation, ripping and tearing himself during the night more than he had in years. He woke when he felt strong arms pick him up off the floor of his parents' basement. He moaned in pain before he could stop himself. He felt lips press down on his forehead as he was carried upstairs to his bedroom. Cassius had been coming by after the full moon for over a year and a half now.  Every month he tried to get Remus to stay at Windy Corner but Remus didn't want to put Cassius or Tabby in harm's way so he always refused.  Remus was surprised that he had come, considering their fight.

Cassius started a fire in the fireplace. Remus started to protest, there wasn't enough wood for a fire during the day.


"Hush, I brought wood. Remus, when you freeze in the summer, it's asinine not to have a fire in early December. Why didn't you tell me you needed wood?" said Cassius tensely.

Remus didn't answer, he had his pride, he didn't need handouts. The warmth from the fire slowly started seeping into his bones. Cassius cast some healing spells on the worst of Remus' cuts and then reached in the pocket of his long black coat for a jar of healing salve. He sat next to Remus on the bed.

"Come here." The order was given in a cool voice. Remus struggled to sit up with Cassius' help. Cassius pulled him forward until Remus was leaning on Cassius' shoulder. Cassius started rubbing the healing salve on the scrapes and bruises on Remus' back. Remus could almost pretend that nothing had happened between them, except for the fact that Cassius wasn't kissing or nuzzling him like he usually did while he fixed up Remus' injuries. Cassius eased him back down on the bed. He smoothed more healing salve on the cuts on Remus' chest. He was very thorough, as usual, but Remus felt the lack of emotion behind Cassius' actions.  "There. All done." He started to stand up, Remus grabbed his arm.

"Cass."

"Yes?" Cassius waited.

"I…" Remus felt tears prick his eyes. He shook his head, withdrawing his hand and closing his eyes. After a moment, he felt Cassius rise from the bed.  He felt another blanket being spread over him, it wasn't his, Cassius must have brought it from Windy Corner. Remus immediately felt warmer.  Remus could feel the bed dip and warm breath on his cheek as Cassius sat back down and leaned over him.

"Remus, I know you're not sleeping." The voice was sleek and cool.

Remus' eyes snapped open meeting intense green eyes. "Moody will come by this afternoon to check on you – I have to go to Germany for a few days."

"I – I love you." Remus whispered.

"Will you marry me?" Cassius responded promptly. Remus shook his head. He just couldn't. "You're an idiot." The voice was edged with fury.

"I'm not an idiot!" Remus felt anger surge in him. "You just haven't thought about what being married to me would really mean!"

"I have thought about it!  I'm not a child!" Cassius yelled at him.

"Really! You've thought about the fact that there are laws that forbid marriage between werewolves and wizards?" Remus growled at Cassius.


"The law forbids marriage between a werewolf and a witch.  I checked." Cassius arched his eyebrow at Remus.  "Anything else?"

"I transform into a wolf every month." Remus glared.

"Tell me something I don't know! I told you I don't care." Cassius sounded infuriated.

"Well, you would care if I ever killed you." Remus said sarcastically.

"If you killed me, I wouldn't care – I'd be dead." Cassius gave a cold smile.

"I…" Remus couldn't think of anything to say to that. "I can't marry you."

"You can. You just won't."  Cassius stood up and walked out of the room.  It was the first time in a long time that he hadn't said 'I love you' to Remus before leaving. Remus felt cold in spite of the fire…he didn't know if he was doing the right thing…

Moody came by in the afternoon to check on him.

"Heard you and Cass had a fight." Moody said gruffly as he put brought Remus some soup and fed it to him.

Remus could only nod.

"He still loves you."

"Do you think we could ever go back to the way things were?" Remus whispered.

"He's got the Malfoy pride – you know that, Remus. He won't back down. He proposed, you either accept or it's over."

After Moody left, Remus thought miserably that he should have accepted the proposal. Except that he didn't think Cassius really had thought through proposing to a werewolf. A few days later, Moody owled that Cassius had been assigned to another investigation in Northern France, he didn't know how long he would be gone. Remus wondered what would happen when Cassius returned.

Author's Note: Sorry for the cliffhanger! (although if you've read "Old and New Relations" you know what happens in the end!)