Author's Notes: This chapter turned out longer than anticipated, but there we go. I'm using Tahl in my story for the first time, mostly inspired by what I've read of her in Sarah's "Green Stone Trilogy: Making" fic. I haven't read all the JA books, so don't know how accurate I am in her portrayal, or anything. Just give me a bit of creative license. :) She's just the kind of character I need in this part, though, serving as a good friend to Qui.

On a side note, there's only going to be another two or three more chapters in this story, methinks. Enjoy.

A Test of Faith

Chapter 19 - The Aftermath

Triangle and his friend led the solemn party of three up and out of the underground nest. The trek to the surface was a long one, through which Serenn, as weak as he himself was, insisted upon carrying Allyaah the whole way. She was in no condition to walk, and Qui-Gon was too frightened to argue with his mentor right now; he didn't recognise him.

After at least a couple of hours, the three made it onto the dry, arid surface and were guided the last mile or so back to their ship, in front of which two other Simaran scouts stood guard. Whilst Serenn immediately took Allyaah on board, Qui turned to the Colicoids and gave them a weak smile; "I want to thank you all," he said quietly, "I'm sorry for the way we are acting, but…"

"Your culture differsch from oursch, young Maschter Jinn," Triangle replied with a nod, "We do not underschtand, but we accept that."

Jinn nodded, glancing at his feet.

"Pleasche remember that not all racesch wisch to be allied with your own. We are different and wisch to remain scho."

Qui gave them a nod, "Thank you for your help, anyway and… well, I doubt we'll bother you again. I'll try to see to that if I can. And good luck dealing with that 'Sohtrop' Nest."

"After the Schohta Nest, the Schotrop schould be little problem," Triangle added, before bowing his head low, "Farewell."

"And you," Qui said, bowing in return and making for the ship.

----

Qui-Gon really wanted to help his already ailing Master on the journey home to Coruscant - he hated feeling inadequate and useless - but as soon as he took a seat in the cockpit, he fell asleep. How his Master was keeping awake, he knew not - he could only gather that his mentor possessed a great sense of self-will within, and that alone prevented him from lapsing into a much-needed slumber.

Qui was mistaken, however. It was the injury to Allyaah, and the uncertain future that she now faced, that played most heavily on Dooku's mind, and it was this more then mere self-will that kept him awake. He could not be expected to sleep with so heavy a load on his shoulders, a load he felt utterly responsible for…

/You know, my friend, that your subordinates will suffer for your idiocy if you make a critical error this time/

Allyaah, meanwhile, was laid out back in one of the cots, her cauterised wound now wrapped in clean bandages and daubed in antiseptic. She seemed stable enough, and had been the only one with the guts and the brains to act in the previous situation as soon as she'd known that she'd been injected with a deadly venom, even if it had meant losing a limb. Hopefully, her action had been made in time, and that she would now recover…

-----

"Qui-Gon…"

"Nmph?"

"Come on, get up."

"Ten more minutes…?"

He heard a gentle chuckle, though the voice was filled with a slight coldness and emptiness. The Padawan opened his eyes and his Master came into focus before him.

"We're home, Qui - come on."

"Home?" Jinn leapt to his feet, "Already? I slept the whole way? I… Master, I'm sorry, I -"

Dooku hushed his protégé and held his hands out gently toward him, "Calm down, Qui," he said, his voice still quiet and rather sombre, "It's okay - you had a right to sleep."

It was then that it really struck Jinn as to how bad Dooku looked; "You look terrible, Master…" he said before he could stop himself, his brow furrowing with concern.

Another faint smile pricked up at the corner of Dooku's mouth, "I admit, I've had better days, my Padawan," he said, before he then nodded toward the cockpit exit, "Off you go…"

Jinn made to leave then halted; he looked back at his mentor, "Aren't you coming?"

Dooku swallowed and looked at Qui from under heavily lidded eyes, "Allyaah and I both need to go to the medical wing. I suggest that you go back to our rooms, get washed and have a long rest. Unless you're injured, young one?"

Qui shook his head, "I'm fine, Master, really."

Dooku nodded, "Go on, then."

Jinn swallowed and hesitantly left - for some reason, he felt awkward with his Master. He felt as though he shouldn't be leaving him, though another part of him felt that it would be an insult to his mentor if he stayed with him. He made his way out of the ship and down onto the landing platform, high up the Jedi Temple. It was quite deserted… apart from a lone figure who stood there, her cloak wrapped tightly around her as harsh winds blew across the platform.

Tahl.

She smiled as he emerged from the ship, and, as she approached him, Qui suddenly became aware that he hadn't bathed for days, that his hair was a mess and that if he looked as bad as he felt, an Acklay would be more attractive than him…

"I heard you were on your way back," Tahl said as soon as they reached one-another. She reached up and brushed some dirt off his shoulder, "How are you?"

They exchanged glances which both concurred that that last question was the most stupid thing possible to ask right now, before they both laughed.

"I feel awful…" he finally said as Tahl fell into step beside him and walked him back into the Temple. They strolled through the docking bay, giving a couple of nods to a few Jedi working on the ships there, and made for the lift.

"I heard that Allyaah isn't good."

"She's not," Jinn mumbled, shaking his head.

Tahl gave him a long stare, "What else is bothering you, Qui?"

Jinn swallowed, his feet suddenly becoming very interesting to look at; "It's my Master…" he dithered, "He's… not right."

Tahl nodded slowly as if she somehow understood.

"He's… just different. Sad, and distant, and… I can't pinpoint it." He glanced up at Tahl, "I'm scared."

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, "He'll be fine," she whispered, "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault."

----

Then who's fault was it?

Over the next few days, all Qui-Gon could feel was somehow blameworthy. He knew his mentor probably felt the same, if not worse, whilst no one would tell him, either way, how Allyaah was doing. He knew Allyaah better than to think that she'd just be wallowing in self-pity, thinking herself culpable for everything that had happened, but that just told him that she was a different kind of person to either him or his mentor. But, then again, Allyaah didn't have anything to lament except the loss of her arm, and as big a loss as that was, it was a choice she had made. Dooku was lamenting her injuries, for which he blamed himself, amongst other things, whilst Jinn felt somehow culpable for his Master's sorrow, feeling as though he should have done something more to help him. The fact that he couldn't see much logic in his feelings didn't stop him being depressed. Even Tahl's words of comfort didn't help him much.

He spent at least four days on his own. He had the apartment he and his Master shared all to himself, but attended no classes whatsoever. No one visited him, except Tahl at the end of the day, if she could spare the time. He sometimes found himself just spending entire days lying lethargically on his bed and staring at the ceiling, waiting for something to happen. His mind often grew so tired of thinking things over that it just went blank…

It only dawned on the Padawan, after several days of this, that it could be his inaction making him more depressed than anything else, and decided finally to go and find out what was happening. Part of him dreaded the truth, yet part of him sought some release from this void in which he was stuck, where everyone else's life was going on around him whilst his was stuck in a rut and waiting to be pulled out.

He got up early one morning and walked the long halls and corridors of the Temple, making his way to the medical wing. The sun was bright, the sky blue, and Qui-Gon almost wanted to rebuke the weather for being so insensitively cheerful.

As he descended a flight of steps and turned the corner to the hospital wing, however, he suddenly found himself face-to-face with Master Syfo-Dias. The two halted in their paths and gave each other frosty looks, staring each other out with their equally blue eyes.

"Tch, tch," Syfo-Dias said first, "An idle Padawan loitering about corridors? Do we have nothing better to do, young Master Jinn?"

Qui-Gon's gaze tightened and he pursed his lips, "I'm not 'loitering', I'm going to visit my Master and my friend in the hospital wing. How can there possibly be something better for me to do than offer them my support?"

Master Syfo-Dias glared scathingly, "Your Master can take care of himself, I'm sure." He walked brusquely passed the boy, "Compassion is only an ally when constrained, Master Jinn," he added as he went, "Remember that."

Qui-Gon scowled; he didn't understand Master Syfo-Dias. He was a great Jedi, but he had a real problem with trust. Jinn wasn't sure he'd ever learn the reasons for why that was, just like he'd never learn about the reasons for all of his mentor's grudges and aversions.

He sighed, shrugging to himself and walking on toward the sickbay.

----

When he reached it, the Jedi in charge of the bay gave him an uncertain look and went to check with his Master first, to see if he was willing to take a visitor. Jinn found the thought of his mentor turning him away a dreadful one, but he wasn't to have to face any such thing - when the Jedi nurse came back, she said that his Master was rather elated to hear that he had finally come down and he was allowed straight through.

Master Dooku was in a side room, leading off from the central hall. Qui-Gon almost bounded in, he felt so excited inside, and said, as soon as he entered the doorway, face plastered with a great smile, "Master!" Then he gasped, taken aback, "Force - where's your hair?"

"Nice to see you, too, Padawan," Serenn replied, sat up in bed and reading something or other. He set the book aside and watched his apprentice approach.

Qui-Gon was almost laughing by now; he reached out and patted his mentor's head. Dooku's hair was cropped as short as his, if not shorter, and Jinn found it all rather amusing; "Oh, shooting stars! It's so short!"

Serenn smirked as Jinn pulled up a chair and sat by his bedside, "You look like a Padawan!" the boy added.

Dooku glanced up at his brow, "It had to go, Qui… They told me it was a complete mess. Had blood in it and everything."

"Are you gonna grow it back?"

"Of course."

Jinn was still in awe, "I can't believe how different you look. To me, Master Dooku has always been  the man with the mad, long hair. I guess I never thought of you as the Jedi under the hair."

Serenn laughed, "You do come out with some strange things, my boy."

Qui settled down a little and, for a moment, he and his mentor just stared at one another.

"I thought I'd lost you," Jinn finally said, quietly.

Serenn frowned "What do you mean?"

"You're back now," Qui went on with an affirmative nod, "Well, I mean, you've always been here, but… in your mind, your character, you…" He hesitated as though he suddenly felt he shouldn't be telling his Master this, that it might insult him.

"Go on," Dooku insisted.

Jinn sighed, "Back on Colla IV, you were consumed by a frenzy," he whispered, "You became someone I didn't know or recognise and I was scared. I thought that you might never come back again, that you might never be yourself again." His blue eyes met Serenn's brown and he added, "Part of you fell over a line and it was looking so much like you'd never come back. Please… please don't do that again."

Dooku sighed to himself and shook his head, staring downward; "I can't promise you anything, Qui," he muttered, "I'm sorry."

Qui-Gon reached out and placed a hand on his Master's shoulder, "I forgive you."

Dooku gave him an earnest look, "You're so compassionate, Qui-Gon. Sometimes I admit you seem flippant and easygoing, yet, deep down, you're always observing, always watching and thinking. You're so full of hope and mercy and note the most delicate details in a person's disposition, things that most people would never pick up upon." He reached out and ruffled Jinn's hair, "I only wish I had the skills you carry."

Qui was proud to hear all this from Dooku, though the fact that it carried some of his mentor's remorse dampened his pride a little; "The universe would be a boring place if we were all the same, Master," he said.

Serenn smiled, "You will be a great Jedi Knight," he nodded certainly, "I know you will. And you will be a much wiser man than I."

Jinn smiled in return and they sat in contented silence for a while.

----

It was a few more days before Allyaah, who had been fighting against the toxins that ran through her veins, was able to accept visitors. Things seemed to be looking up for her, and everyone was amazed by her progressing recovery. By this time, Master Dooku had recovered his own strengths and was allowed to leave the ward. Tahl, upon hearing the news, had agreed to accompany Qui-Gon down to meet his Master, and they hoped to be able to say hello to Allyaah as well, and give her their best wishes.

Serenn took the opportunity, before he left the wing, to see Allyaah first, however. He, after all, owed her his life…

As soon as he was admitted to her room, he was greeted with a similar reaction to that which his Padawan had given him.

"Oh my word!" was the first thing Allyaah said as she set her eyes on Serenn. She held her hand to her mouth as though she'd never seen anything so outrageous; "Come here," she said with a smile, gesturing for him to take a seat by the side of her bed.

He came and sat by her and watched as she reached out with her remaining hand and gently touched the short hair on his head; she giggled a little, something it was almost a comfort for him to hear, before she composed herself and said, "Where's you hair gone?"

"It's been cut off," he smirked.

She gave him a wry look, "I can see that," she said, "But why?"

"It was a matted mess…" he shrugged, "And I reckon that some of the Order just wanted an excuse to give it a trim for once…"

She smiled again, "Got that right. But not the beard?"

He looked offended, "My beard?" he said, sitting back and running his hand over it, "That's not going anywhere. I'd feel most plain without that."

She shook her head, "You are vain…"

"I'm not… I'm too lazy to be bothered with shaving every morning."

She laughed once more then, giving him an earnest look asked, "How are you?"

"Better. I think," he said, clasping his hands together and looking down at the floor for a moment, "And you?"

She turned away, exhaling slowly, "Okay," she whispered, "My body's been badly weakened, though. They say it'll be a miracle if I can go on any missions in an active field again."

"That bad?"

"Well, with only one arm, I can see their point," she added, "Plus, my immune system's haggard…"

"Force…" he murmured, hanging his head again, "I'm so sorry."

She smiled sadly at him and put her hand to his chin, tilting his countenance back up, "It's not your fault," she said, emphasising her every word as though trying to drill it into him.

His mouth flickered with a brief smile, but it was an empty one, and Allyaah knew that he didn't believe her. But there was something else wrong, too.

"What is it?" she asked.

He looked back to her, "I feel like a Padawan again," he said.

"You look like one."

He smiled halfheartedly, "Qui came to see me a few days ago, and he gave me such a lecture. He doesn't realise he's doing it, but he's so wise, and I often feel like our positions are reversed, like he's teaching me."

"We learn from our children, so to speak," she said.

"You know, I once hoped to be the greatest Jedi Knight," he said, sitting back in his chair, "I knew I could be, with the skill and the strength that I possessed. But I was a fool to ever think such… I'm so flawed, and when I look at Qui and recognise all of the superb qualities that are within him, see how everything comes pretty much as second nature to him, I look back to my own youth and wonder who I was trying to kid? He's going to be the best, or close enough - far better than me either way. If it wasn't for his huge capacity for compassion, he'd be absolutely faultless." He shook his head and gave Allyaah a troubled look, "How did such a boy grow under my tutelage?"

She looked straight back at him, "Life teaches Padawans as well as their teachers," she said, "And sometimes our apprentices often pick up on skills that we did not. They can sometimes help to teach us what we missed, whilst we teach them all we know." She gave his shoulder a light rub, "So what's the problem?"

He sighed, "Don't you see? I'm failing him. I don't want to fail him, not again… I want to set an example, to be a good master to him, but I'm afraid… because I know I'll fail him…"

She gave him another sad look, remembering their conversation just prior to their arrival at Colla, where he'd confessed to fearing a similar thing. But, as if on cue, there was a knock at the door, and both Qui-Gon and Tahl peeked their heads in.

Thankful for the distraction, Allyaah gave them both welcoming smiles and gestured for them to come in. Tahl was the third person to become transfixed by Dooku's abnormally short hair. She gaped at him for a while before she realised that she was being rude and forced herself to look away. Her eyes kept darting back to him, however, almost as though she was certain that, any minute now, Dooku's hair would turn out to be long again, and she'd just have been hallucinating the whole thing…

"Glad to see you looking better, Master Jiao," Jinn said as he walked into the room and gave her an obedient bow. Tahl followed suit, and gave her another polite bow.

"Thank you, Master Jinn," she said, "And it's nice to see you again, Tahl. It's been a while. How's your Master doing?"

"Very well, thank you," Tahl replied, taking a seat by Qui-Gon the opposite side of the bed.

"And I bet you've been helping Qui-Gon lately, no? Getting him up-and-running?"

"Naturally," Tahl smirked.

"See, it's the women who run all the men in this place," Allyaah said with a quiet chuckle.

Jinn frowned, exchanging glances with his equally affronted mentor, before looking back to the girls again.

"Joke, Qui, it's a joke!" Tahl said, holding her hands up in defence.

----

It was for the first in a long time, later that day, that Qui-Gon found himself walking back to his quarters with his Master. Though Dooku had recovered, he still looked a little pale and was noticeably thinner than usual. His beard had lost its shape, too, looking rather odd with his short hair.

"Are you sure you're okay now, Master?" Qui-Gon asked as they entered their apartment.

Serenn sat down upon one of the cushion seats, crossing his legs and placing his hands on his knees, whilst Jinn shut the door; "I'm better, Qui-Gon," he replied evasively, giving his protégé another of his quick but weak smiles, "Better."

Qui sat opposite him and looked to him, sensing that his mentor had more to say.

"I'm sorry, my Padawan," he soon said, "I never meant to hurt you. I just haven't been able to find myself these past few days…"

"I said I forgive you, Master," Qui nodded selflessly, "And I do. We all go through bad times in life."

"But it's I who should've been supporting you!" Dooku suddenly snapped, more to himself than to his apprentice, "Not leaving you to fend for yourself and get through the trauma on your own. I've been on missions before, and I've seen comrades injured, even killed, before my very eyes - I should know how to react by now, I should be there to support you, you who are so new to this type of misfortune…" He rose to his feet, suddenly filled with an angry restlessness, and paced away toward the windows whilst Qui sat and stared at his crossed legs.

Serenn clasped his hands at the small of his back and shook his head, staring blankly at the traffic flowing beyond the Temple; "Instead it was I who didn't know how to react."

"But you were ill, Master. You weren't well. And Tahl was there, she helped me out."

"But it's not Tahl's job to help you out, it's mine," he insisted, his tone growing weary. He rubbed his eyes and sighed deeply, "I'm sorry, Qui… Here I go, ranting again."

Jinn smirked a little.

"You go off and enjoy the rest of your day. We'll begin to pick up the pieces tomorrow."

Qui nodded and got to his feet; "Are you sure you're all right, Master?" he asked before he left.

Dooku nodded to him, "As well as I should be, my apprentice."

Qui turned and slowly left - he'd spend the rest of the day with Tahl, or something. He'd let his Master be alone with his thoughts. He knew that was what he wanted.

TBC…