This is a bit of a short chapter but I wanted to update. Keep those reviews coming! They make my day – I'm a little depressed because I am looking for a job and no one seems to want to hire me. So…concentrating on my fan fiction makes me happy. Except these next few chapters are going to be rather angsty…be prepared. :-)

Chapter 19 - Rituals

The next morning, Cassius shook Remus' shoulder gently. "Remus…." Another shake. "Remus."

"Mmmm." Remus answered sleepily.

"Could you shave me before I go work?" Cassius had been leaving before Remus was awake the past few days and had missed his morning shaves.

"Mmm…" Remus lifted his hand and felt Cassius' face without opening his eyes. "You're not that bad." He burrowed his face into his pillow. Cassius had woken him up several times during the night with his tossing and turning.

"Yes I am. Your face is all bumbley from rubbing me last night…and there's a meeting with Fudge this morning. Please?"

"Fine, fine, I'll do it." Remus opened his eyes reluctantly. "Where's my tea?"

"Here." Cassius straightened and reached over to the nightstand where the tea was waiting. Remus sat up and Cassius handed it to him.

"My face is bumbley?" Remus tilted his head, looking at his mate curiously.

"Yes." Cassius answered, twining his fingers together with Remus'. Lately, Remus had noticed Cassius using words Remus had never heard of, they seemed made up as if Cassius couldn't remember the correct ones. A few days ago when he'd come for dinner, Stevens had asked Remus how Cassius was sleeping because he seemed tired. Remus had said the long days and nights at the Ministry were taking their toll on him. Stevens had said he would talk to Moody. Remus had thought that was odd…Moody was no longer in charge of the aurors… And anyway, all the aurors were on the same schedule, why should Cassius get special treatment, other than the fact he was Moody's favorite? He noticed Cassius was still looking at him.

Remus swung his legs off the bed and stood up as he gulped down the tea feeling the caffeine flow into his system. He walked out of the bedroom into the bathroom with Cassius following him. As Cassius sat on the counter next to the sink, Remus reached for the razor and the shaving cream. "You know, you could start doing this…looking in the mirror and everything."

"Why? You do it for me."

"What about when I'm at Hogwarts?" Remus smoothed the shaving cream over Cassius' cheeks and chin.

"I'll grow a beard." Cassius reached his hands out and placed them on Remus' waist pulling him in between Cassius' long legs.

"You'll have to trim it or it will look bad." Remus started shaving. "So you'll have to look in a mirror." Remus had started trying to convince Cassius to look in a mirror once they had found out his mother hadn't killed herself because Cassius reminded her of his father. As far as Remus knew, Cassius still hadn't.

"Dumbledore doesn't trim his."

"I bet he does." Remus tilted Cassius' head to the side, running the razor over Cassius' cheek.

"You ask him."

"You'd really grow a beard?" Remus tilted Cassius' head to the other side, trying to imagine his mate with one.

"No…I'll just shave and cut myself. You better hope I don't bleed to death some morning."

"Don't say that." Remus stopped shaving abruptly and glared into Cassius' eyes. "I mean it, Cassius Lupin."

"Merlin! I was only joking. Would you miss me that much?" Cassius felt a flare of hope.

"Of course I would! I love you! It's not funny to joke about that. It's not."

"Remus, I shaved for years without you and survived just keen." Cassius' hot hands slipped under Remus' pajama top.

"How many years?" Remus started shaving again, deciding to ignore the odd turn of phrase.

"Umm…a few, I think."

"And I've been shaving you for much longer than that."

"Really? How many years?"

"Eight. More than eight, actually. It'll be our eight anniversary this year and I started before we mated."

"Oh…" Cassius' brows knit together as he thought about it. "Well, I still can do it. I just like you to. It's easier."

"There. You're done." Remus grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the warm water and wiped up the remaining spots of shaving cream.

"See? Easy."

"Yes, easy." Remus answered with a smile.

"Thank you." Cassius stood up from the counter. "I have to go."

"Will you be home for dinner?" Remus followed Cassius down the stairs.

"I don't know. Don't count on it. I told Tabby not to hold any meals for me." Cassius strode into the kitchen and into the mudroom. Remus waited by the fireplace for his goodbye kiss, he'd missed it the last few mornings. Cassius came back out of the mudroom, pulling on his long black trench coat.

"Be careful."

"I always am."

"Wand?"

"Check." Cassius patted his coat pocket.

"I love you. You come back to me safely. I need you. You hear me?"

"Yes." Cassius lifted Remus into his arms and held him so tightly Remus felt his back pop. "I love you."

Cassius put Remus back down on the floor and grabbed some floo powder. A moment later, he was gone. Remus wrote a quick note to Tabby asking her to wake him for breakfast and then turned and walked back upstairs slowly. He crawled back into bed on Cassius' side and held his pillow tightly. It smelled of Cassius, which was comforting. He had an hour before breakfast. He closed his eyes.

Cassius got home for dinner that night and the next few nights as well. The auror schedule had been modified so that they were working their normal 8 hour shifts in three rotations instead of two 12 hour shifts. Remus knew Moody must have talked to someone at the department. He was glad to see more of his mate, since he had only a few days before he left for Hogwarts.

"You're all packed?" Tabby asked as Remus entered the kitchen.

Remus nodded, looking over at Cassius who was standing by the window. "I'll owl when I get there."

"We need to be off – otherwise he'll miss the train." Tabby said. "I'll be waiting in the garden, Remus." She levitated his trunk out the door, allowing Remus and Cassius privacy for their goodbye. She was taking Remus to the station in the car. Remus would drive it and park it somewhere for Cassius to drive back. Tabby refused to learn to drive.

"I love you." Remus walked quickly over to his mate. Cassius looked so forlorn, it reminded Remus of someone, he couldn't think who. "I…"

"If something happens, call my name. Doesn't matter how far I am – I'll hear you. I'll get to you if I have to crawl." Cassius kissed Remus roughly and ardently, Remus felt a shimmery heat envelope him. He knew Cassius had done a spell.

"I'll be all right." Remus said.

"Tell me again." The words were a whispered plea against the skin of his neck.

"I'll be all right." Remus kissed Cassius again. "And you be safe too?"

"I will." Cassius said, letting Remus go reluctantly. "You better go. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you in June."

Author's Note: At the end of this chapter there's part of a line from Rod Stewart's song "Broken Arrow". Here's the whole line: "I want to come when you call, I'll get to you if I have to crawl." The idea for the spell that Cassius casts came from that line. I love the song…and I think it's a wonderful love song that just shows such a depth of love – like Cassius has for Remus – sniffle. Wish I had my own Cassius.