Author's Notes: Thank you to the two people who reviewed the last chapter! Your reviews made my day! :-) And now…

Chapter 22 – Dumbledore's Memories

"I need permission to go home for a few days during the Christmas Holiday." Remus sat in a chair in Dumbledore's office a few minutes later, the letter from Lucius still clutched in his hand.

"Of course. How is Cassius?" Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. "I take it the separation is affecting him like it's affecting you?"

"Well, he's…" Remus suddenly stared at Dumbledore. "H-how did you know?" As far as Remus knew, only Moody, Tabby, Kingsley, and Stevens knew about his relationship with Cassius.

"Moody told me, years ago." Dumbledore smiled. "Cassius is a fine young man. He was a favorite of mine during his years here."

"His brother just wrote me…about something that happened before Cassius' second year." Remus spoke softly. Dumbledore would know what he was talking and confirm that Lucius had written the truth.

"Ah – the source of his memory problem, you mean?" Remus nodded. "Yes, I know the truth. Lucius told me when Cassius returned for his second year." Dumbledore looked somber. "Cassius was a highly gifted student when he entered Hogwarts. He had what muggles call a 'photographic memory.' He was rightly sorted into Ravenclaw. I thought he would be the best student in over a century…before his father changed all that."

"But he still got into the auror program." Remus said. Only the best and smartest wizards became aurors.

"Yes – he did. He was still one of the best students Hogwarts has ever seen, but it required much more effort, more repetition. Professor Flitwick used to pull his hair out - Charms were especially hard because Cassie had to memorize the saying and the corresponding wand movement. It took him two years to master a simple drying charm. We had a party when he was finally able to do it." Dumbledore smiled at the memory. "It was over the summer - Cassie stayed here during holidays and summers, he never returned to Malfoy Manor to live."

"I didn't know Cass at school." Remus looked down at his hands. "How bad was it?"

"You saw for yourself once…I don't think you had any idea what was going on, it's not surprising you don't remember."

"I don't?" Remus felt very surprised. Surely he'd remember meeting Cassius when they were at school together.

"You don't need memory damage in order to forget small things." Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled. He got up and went over to a cupboard. Opening it, he pulled out a pensieve. He set it down in front of Remus. He pulled a silvery thought from his temple and put it into the pensieve. "This was the night I realized it would take a long time for Cassie to recover – if he ever did. He would make progress only to regress…one step forward, two steps back. We were all very worried for him."

Remus looked down into the silvery pensieve.

Suddenly, with a swirling jerk, he was in one of the hallways of the school. He could see a student walking down a hall towards the soft sound of crying. Remus turned to his left and saw Dumbledore standing there, watching. "Lumos." The student's wand lit and Remus saw himself, younger, a prefect badge on his robes. A boy with silvery blonde hair was sitting on the floor next to a statue. He was curled up, his arms hugging his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down his face. The crying sounded desperate and forlorn. Remus the adult recognized the face instantly – it was Cassius, he looked very young and very scared.

"What are you doing in this corridor? It's off limits to students." Remus the Prefect asked in a calm voice. The boy didn't answer. "Why aren't you in your dorm?"

"I don't know." A whisper finally answered him.

"You don't know?" Remus watched as his younger self started to look puzzled. The boy lowered his head onto his knees and continued to rock. "The Ravenclaw dorms are in the North Tower." Remus spotted the crest on the boy's school robe, just like his younger self had

"Don't know where is."

Remus the Prefect looked even more puzzled. After a moment of deliberation, he spoke again. "Come on, I'll walk you there, I know where it is." He held his hand out to help the boy up. The younger boy didn't seem to notice, he was still rocking, his crying muffled. Remus put his hand on the boy's shoulder and crouched down next to him. "Hey, it's all right. Shhh.. .Don't cry. I'll help you." His voice was soothing and his hand moved to rub the boy's back. The boy's tear streaked face lifted up. He gazed at Remus a long moment.

"Are you my friend?" The boy asked forlornly, fresh tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Of course I am." The words seemed to tumble out of the young man's mouth, accompanied by a gentle smile. "My name's Remus." He held out his hand again. As Cassius' small hand reached out and latched on to the hand of his younger self, Remus suddenly remembered this encounter. It had been the first time he had ever held hands with someone, other than his parents. Remus remembered the warm sensation he had felt when the boy had taken his hand. The small, pale hand had looked so fragile in his larger one. He had suddenly wanted to take care of this strange, confused boy. As he stood, he looked down thoughtfully at the boy. "Why don't we see Madam Pomfrey, she'll heal your hand."

The boy nodded and raised his other hand, wiping his eyes with it, smearing blood on his face. All the fingertips were bloody and torn. Remus the Prefect reached down and wiped the blood off the pale cheek. "You're all right now. I've got you." Remus smiled as he heard his younger self's comforting words, they were what his mother had always said to him after the full moon. He turned and led the boy back down the corridor. In the archway stood Dumbledore.

"Mr. Lupin." Dumbledore said calmly. "I will take over from here."

"Certainly, Sir." Remus the Prefect answered politely.

"Come along, my boy." Dumbledore extended his hand towards Cassius. Cassius looked up at Remus, seeking direction. Remus the prefect nodded, blushing that the boy wouldn't obey Dumbledore without checking with him first. Cassius immediately let go of the prefect's hand and reached towards Dumbledore's. Dumbledore grasped the smaller hand in his and they started down the hallway. Remus the Prefect stood watching them walk away for a moment.

Remus remembered wondering why Dumbledore was holding the student's hand, he'd never seen that happen before. Then he had turned and run towards the Gryffindor common room, he remembered feeling anxious to hold Sirius's hand and see if that warm feeling happened again. That night was the first time he and Sirius had kissed after months of flirting. The encounter with the strange boy had been driven from his mind by Sirius's mouth and hands. The adult Remus followed Dumbledore and the young Cassius, forcing the memories of Sirius to the back of his mind.

"Where going?" Cassius asked, skipping to keep up with Dumbledore's quick, long steps.

"We are going to see Poppy." Dumbledore answered gently. "She has some warm milk and food waiting for you. Are you hungry, Cassie?" Dumbledore looked down at the boy who nodded. "You got lost on the way to dinner, didn't you?" Remus realized that meant Cassius had been lost for over 4 hours by the time his younger self had found him.

"I was look for Luke."

"Luke is at home, Cassie."

"Not home?"

"No, Cassie, this is your school. Poppy!" Dumbledore called as they entered the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey came out of her office quickly.

"Cassie!" She embraced the small boy in a tight hug. "We didn't realize you'd gotten lost until lights out." She pressed a kiss to the top of Cassius' head. "Come along, I have dinner for you." She hustled him into her rooms. Dumbledore and Remus followed. Remus had never been in Poppy's rooms. They were warm, inviting and very neat, like the woman herself. She did a quick healing spell on his hand as she sat Cassius down at the table, in front of a full plate of food and a large goblet of milk. Remus suspected there was a sleeping potion mixed in with the milk. Cassius started to eat immediately.

"You found him?" Poppy asked quietly, she had walked back over to Dumbledore after Cassius started eating.

"Mr. Lupin did, shortly before I." Dumbledore answered in an equally hushed voice.

"Hmm….we should discuss the need for a chaperone, at all times…until his memory…" Poppy said as she gazed worriedly at the small blonde boy.

"What about Owen Jones?" Dumbledore said, following Poppy's gaze.

"Jones would be an excellent choice, they are already friends." Poppy nodded.

"I will tell Stevens as well – he's Quidditch captain, Cassie is on the team, provided his memory allows. I will speak to them both first thing tomorrow." They were both distracted by a loud yawn coming from Cassius. He had eaten everything on his plate and now his eyelids were drooping.

"Now, to bed with you." Poppy walked briskly over to him and helped Cassius from the table. She walked with him into the ward and tucked him into a bed. He was asleep a second later. "I will inform his brother of our plan tomorrow when he comes to visit."

With a rush, Remus was back in Dumbledore's office. "I remember that now. I couldn't believe any first year could have gotten so confused and lost that they forgot where their own house was."

"Cassie was one of the only first years never to get lost in Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled. "What you saw happened three months into his second year - five months after his father used the Cruciatus Curse on him. It was another couple months before we started to see any real improvement."

"I never found out his name…that must be why I didn't realize I'd met him before." Remus said thoughtfully.

"He had trouble remembering his name then." Dumbledore shook his head slightly. "Cassius doesn't remember the meeting either, not consciously. He thinks you first met at Moody's…when he was 19. I remember I had never seen Cassie so unguarded around someone he did not know. He told Moody after you left that he was going to marry you. He said he knew the moment you spoke. I think that feeling had its beginning with your meeting in the hallway seven years before, when you found him."

Remus felt a warm feeling pool in his stomach. He missed his mate so much his heart ached. "Does Cass know why his memory is bad?"

"No… We discussed it and decided Cassie had suffered enough by his father's hand. Better to not tell him what could have been… he doesn't seem to remember being any other way…Certainly, we thought it was for the best at the time. But as his mate…you are perhaps better able to make that decision."

"I…I don't know…I think you're right…his father has done far too much." Dumbledore nodded. "What happened to Owen Jones?" Remus had never heard Cassius mention that name.

"He, Cassius and Stevens were great friends, inseparable. They were so much alike, sometimes you couldn't tell where one left off and the other began. Stevens and Cassius are still like that. Unfortunately, Owen was killed, by Death Eaters, several months after graduation."

"Oh…" Remus swallowed hard. So many people had lost their lives to Death Eaters like Cassius' brother Lucius. "And Lucius came to visit him?"

"Yes, he came daily at first, then weekly. It helped Cassie's healing to have his brother visit."

"Did his father ever come?" Remus asked.

"No…Julius Malfoy was never the same after… Although he'd been abusive, he still loved both his sons – in his own way. But on that day, he realized he'd gone too far. The shame of it drove him mad, he was never again the wizard he had been." Dumbledore spoke sadly. "Lucius became the head of the family that tragic day, he lost his father and feared that he would lose his brother as well. He did everything in his power to help Cassie, including coming to me, one of his enemies, for help. He loves Cassius very much."

"I just can't believe…" Remus trailed off. Dumbledore put his wand to his head again and pulled another silvery thread out and put it in the pensieve.

"I know you see a different side to Lucius Malfoy. Have a look at a side Cassie has seen often, I was able to witness this during one of his visits a month later. I hold on to this moment when I am tempted to see the world in black and white. Everyone has shades of grey."

Remus leaned forward again and felt the same sensation as he entered Dumbledore's memory.

Lucius Malfoy looked in his mid-twenties. His smooth silver blonde hair cascaded down past his shoulders. His grey eyes were focused affectionately on Cassius who was sitting at a desk writing on a scroll. Cassius' tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth and his brow was furrowed in concentration.

"There!" Cassius held out the scroll triumphantly. Lucius took it in his hand, his long fingers reminding Remus strongly of his Cassius – the adult.

"Cassius Julian Aurelius Malfoy. You spelled it all correctly!" Lucius smiled, he sat down next to Cassius. The smile lit up his face. Remus had never known Lucius had a dimple on his right cheek. Cassius sprang up from the desk and hurled himself at his brother, landing in his lap.

"And look – it's all…flow-ey." Cassius pointed at the scroll.

"Yes, it's all in script, I see that. It's very nice, Cassie." Lucius put his arms around his brother. At twelve, Cassius hadn't started his growth spurt yet and looked quite small against his tall brother. Lucius rested his head affectionately against Cassius'. "What else has happened since my last visit?"

"Professor Sprout's sister is a cat!" Cassius said excitedly.

"A cat?" Lucius picked his head up, looking at his brother with concern.

"Well – she's not really a cat – she's a witch – she changes into a cat, like Professor McGonagall…it's a big word." Cassius rubbed his forehead. Remus recognized the gesture immediately. Lucius gently took his brother's hand.

"Animagus?"

"What?" Cassius looked confused.

"Animagus. That's the big word we call wizards and witches when they can change into animals."

"Oh…what is it again?"

"Animagus."

"Write it for me?"

"Certainly." Lucius let go of Cassius' hand, picked up the quill and wrote it on the scroll. "There, see? An-i-ma-gus." Lucius traced his long finger under the word. Cassius looked at the paper and mouthed the word. Lucius glanced over at the clock on the wall. "I must be going. But I will be back for your birthday. How many days is that?"

"Five." Cassius answered promptly with a degree of pride. "Do you have to go now?"

"Yes, Narcissa is waiting for me."

"Narcissa…"

"Narcissa, my wife, the lady who came with me to visit you last week?"

"When did you get married?" Cassius suddenly looked upset.

"Over the summer…you were there, you just don't remember." Lucius answered gently, rubbing Cassius' arm soothingly. "I will bring the photos next time to show you."

"And you'll bring my present, too?" Cassius looked up at his brother.

"Present?" Lucius arched his eyebrow.

"You're getting me a birthday present, aren't you? That's what Owen says people do on birthdays or Christmas, when people love you…they get you presents….and…you love me." Cassius had started to sound uncertain halfway through his speech and was now chewing on his fingers. Cassius always did that when he was upset or agitated. Remus wondered if Cassius' habit had only started after being tortured by his father.

"Cassie, I was teasing. Of course, I have presents for you. I love you." Lucius pressed a kiss to his brother's forehead. "Don't bite your fingers." Lucius gently took both his brother's hands in his. "Now, you'll listen to Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore while I'm gone?" Cassius nodded. "Do you want to walk me out? You have to remember the way all by yourself."

"I know it, I practice all week."

"You practiced." Lucius corrected softly.

"I practiced. I haven't got, I mean, gotten lost in three days." Cassius smiled proudly at his brother. Lucius returned the smile then let go of his hands and Cassius stood up. Lucius stood too, towering over his brother. Professor Dumbledore came into the room a few steps.

"I have a few notes for you from Mr. Malfoy's professors." Dumbledore held out some scrolls. "Also, here's some of his work, I thought you would want to see his progress."

"Thank you." Lucius said graciously, taking the scrolls and putting them in the pocket of his robe.

"I'm going to walk him to the front doors." Cassius grabbed his brother's hand and started towards the doorway.

"What do we say, Cassius?" Lucius stopped him, tugging on Cassius' hand.

"Excuse us, Professor." Cassius said in a cool imitation of Lucius' voice, Dumbledore nodded, his blue eyes twinkling.

As Lucius passed Dumbledore, he said "Thank you" again very quietly. Dumbledore smiled.

Remus felt himself return to Dumbledore's office. "He really had to relearn his name?"

"Yes…it took him several weeks to spell Aurelius correctly."

"So he had to relearn everything?"

"No, not everything - as time went by, his memory came back and he would remember some of what he had known before the trauma. But he never regained some memories. And because his brain was trying to heal, not many new memories were made, especially so in his 2nd year. Towards the middle of his 3rd year he started to retain more. A occasional Quidditch game, a few of Lucius' visits, some of his adventures with Jones and Stevens, winning the Quidditch cup, the more spectacular pranks the Marauders pulled." Dumbledore smiled gently. Remus smiled too, although he felt tears coming to his eyes…James and Sirius had played many pranks – helped by Remus and Peter. If only Sirius hadn't betrayed them all…it had been so wonderful then – before he had known what Sirius was capable of. "Lucius insisted Madam Pomfrey gave Cassie a strong sleep potion around the time of his OWLS and NEWTS. She dotes on him, so it wasn't difficult to convince her. We all knew he wanted to be an auror so he needed good marks. Lack of sleep adds additional strain to his memory."

"That's why he wrote – Cass isn't sleeping well without me – only Lucius doesn't know the real reason for that."

"Once the term is over, in a few days, you may return home. Is that acceptable?"

"Yes, thank you, sir."

The next chapter will be posted next Saturday! Preview: Remus goes home!