Disclaimer: I own nothing…
A/N: Well, thank you for all the reviews! I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update… I promise I'll update more once summer is here… Lol! Actually, as I have a sequel planned for this fic that I wanted to start over the summer and I have to finish 6th year, 7th year, and afterwards… I don't think I'm gonna get to start that sequel anytime soon, will I? Lol! Well, here's the chapter I'm sure you've been waiting for, hope you enjoy…
Sirius prodded the stick figures on what was normally used as a board for quidditch plays with the tip of his wand as he sipped the last of his standard 3.14 glasses of orange juice.
"So at this point, James' head appears in our fireplace," Sirius said as he prodded the board and a terribly drawn figure that barely even resembled James appeared in what may or may not have been the fireplace of what may or may not have been a room, "And what happens next?"
"He reveals that--," Andromeda, Sirius' favorite cousin, started to finish. She was an eleven-year-old due to start at Hogwarts next year. She possessed the same classic Black looks as Sirius and Bellatrix with black hair and blue eyes. For the age of eleven, she was quite sharp and always willing to pull a prank. And, fortunately, hated their family just as much as Sirius did.
"Sh!" Sirius shushed her. As sharp and willing as she was, she just didn't understand the need for secrecy and stealth. "We can't speak of it. They might hear us then our cover will be blown."
"As if they won't be suspicious when we willingly show up for tea on time," Andromeda said as she rolled her eyes.
"Exactly," Sirius said as he looked from his cousin back to the quidditch play board with a smile on his face. He knew when he came home this break that he was coming to get kicked out of the house permanently, but that didn't mean he couldn't create as much chaos as humanly possible before he left.
"Question," Andromeda said as she stared intently at the board. "Did you send James the letter?"
"What kind of amateur do you take me for? Of course I did," Sirius said as he pulled a letter written on Labeau stationary out of his pocket that had arrived earlier in the morning and read over it one last time to make sure his slightly dense friend understood the plan or, better yet, didn't understand the plan. James understanding a plan never lead to anything good.
Padfoot,
Ok, I'm really confused right about now. I—you—why—nevermind. I'll just show up in your fireplace at teatime and work my magic. Thanks and goodluck,
Prongs
Work his magic? Yeah, more like screw everything up. That was the beauty of this plan though. James was supposed to screw everything up. Sirius just couldn't tell him he had to screw everything up because James would screw up screwing up. It seemed impossible, but if anyone could manage to screw up screwing up, it was James.
"So he'll be here?" Andromeda asked with raised eyebrows.
"You just worry about taking notes and I'll worry about the finer details," Sirius snapped as he made the stick figures of Bellatrix and his mum run around in circles, chasing each other, which lead to him laughing evilly and triumphantly.
"I still don't understand why I have to take notes just to burn them when we're done," Andromeda complained as she rubbed her wrist.
"Because I'm the expert prank-men-son and you're my lowly apprentice!" Sirius said as though it were quite obvious. Did no one appreciate his finely honed pranking skills? James was always reluctant to agree and then when he finally did, he screwed them up. Remus rarely agreed unless it was one-hundred percent guaranteed that they wouldn't get into trouble. Peter always just squeaked along and somehow managed to screw up more than James. Now Sirius' own flesh and blood was complaining about taking a few measly notes from his play-board! Sure, he was being a bit of a nazi about it, but from his past experience on pranking with others, it seemed like the best way to go.
"Yeah, I don't think that's a word," Andromeda said as she nodded knowingly.
"Andromeda, so young, so senile, of course it's not a word," Sirius said, shaking his head in a knowing manner, "Sometimes one must make up words in order to get their point across."
"What if the word doesn't make any sense?" Andromeda argued with raised eyebrows as she sat on Sirius' bed in their 'meeting quarters'.
"Pish-posh," Sirius said as he rolled his eyes and cleared the board. Top secret operation.
"Why do I have to take notes only to burn them as soon as the meeting is finished?" Andromeda asked again as she examined her notes and continued to rub her wrist.
"Because this is top secret," Sirius said as though he had said it a million times. "You know, maybe I should just fly solo on this prank."
"I think James will mess it up," Andromeda stated knowingly.
"Of course he will. That's what James does. That's why I confused him so much that all he knows is to show up in our fireplace at tea time. But I know James. He'll open his mouth and our entire family will be outraged within minutes. It's what he does," Sirius said with a knowing smile on his face. James had a knack for messing things up. Through the years, Sirius had discovered that it was best to simply tell James exactly what not to do and James would usually end up doing what he was supposed to do. Unless, of course, if it came to Lily, but that was an entirely different ballpark… "Forget about James, did you get the extra dungbombs?"
"Of course. One last thing," Andromeda began.
"I've already told you," Sirius said, hanging his head in his hands, "The notes are so—"
"Dude, your stick figures suck," Andromeda said sadly as though just looking at them depressed her.
"Who has the remote?" Ava asked as she stared at the TV and watched the figures move, but heard nothing. She, Lily, and all older Evans children and Iris and asleep were currently sprawled in various places around the den—she, Lily, and Iris occupying the couch—staring mindlessly at the television. Ava, being a pureblooded witch, hadn't known anything about TV until her first visit to Lily's house in second year. She also couldn't watch TV anywhere except Lily's house and was quite annoyed as the volume was currently turned off.
"Me," A voice said from the other side of the room.
Ava could've leaned forward to see who the voice belonged to, but she was focused on staring at the TV screen, willing the volume to turn on.
"Who's me?" Ava asked as she continued to stare at the screen.
"Oliver," Oliver said as he stared at the TV screen.
"Why don't you turn on the volume?" Ava asked as she continued to stare at the TV screen.
"Why didn't you invite Lily over to your freak house?" Petunia asked as she presumably rolled her eyes.
No one really knew if she rolled her eyes as they were all staring at the TV with the volume turned off.
"Why does your boyfriend have such a fat neck?" Anna asked from the opposite side of the den as Oliver. "Why doesn't Lily have a boyfriend?" Petunia asked defensively.
Ava sighed as she continued to stare at the TV screen. All she wanted was for Oliver to turn on the volume.
"Why does your boyfriend have a fat neck?" Lily asked Petunia with a smirk which she knew Petunia couldn't see as they were all leaning back in their seats, all staring at the TV screen which had no volume projecting from it. Ava seemed annoyed, but Lily felt right at home.
"Why are you such a freak?" Petunia asked in an annoying voice.
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Why don't we all shut up and continue to stare at the TV screen?" Oliver asked, silencing the fighting sisters.
There were a few moments of complete and utter silence in which everyone in the room stared at the TV screen before Ava felt compelled to speak again.
"Could you turn on the volume?" She asked again as she continued to stare at the TV screen.
"Bev, where's your floo powder?" James asked as he desperately looked around the fireplace for floo powder. He was due there any second and he had no way of getting there. Sirius would be so mad at him if he screwed up whatever big prank Sirius had going that James didn't understand.
"In the jar by the fireplace," Bev said as she sat sprawled out on the couch, reading the most recent newspaper.
"Where?" James asked as he scanned the mantle, seeing no jar that would hold floo powder.
"On the mantle, genius," Bev said with a sarcastic edge in her voice.
"I don't see it," James said as he continued to scan the mantle for a jar.
"Oh well," Bev said with a sigh as she flipped to the next page.
"This is important, if I'm not there on time—" James began to blabber. Sirius would be furious if he screwed up the prank. It was bad enough that he had no clue what to do…
"That's touching, really," Bev said, not looking up from her reading.
Sirius sat in the tearoom with his mum, aunt, cousins, and brother as he looked anxiously from his watch to the fireplace to Andromeda and back again.
He had expected James to screw up. He had even planned ahead so that James' screwing up worked to their advantage. He never expected James to all together not show up though.
Cookies to anyone who can guess what important role Bev will soon play. More cookies to anyone who can guess why no one will let James see the paper. Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed! I know, there's not much Marauder mayhem in this chapter, but it's really hard to do when they're all in separate places! Sirius instructing Andromeda and the TV part were meant to be funny though… They weren't though, were they? Sorry… It wasn't that bad though, was it? Also, I wanted to save the descriptions of Lily's family for the first time James met them… Ava already knew them… Make sense? Oh well… Anywho, I'm hoping for 118 reviews before I post my next chapter, though if you actually did think it was funny, I'd really appreciate it if you told me… Anywho, if you enjoyed, go REVIEW!
PotterChick1 Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and I hope you enjoyed your day off!
Queen of Zan Thank you! I just felt like having a bunch of large, awkward family scenes like the one we just had! Lol! Yeah, I know… It's even funnier when you know that Sirius' family hates him… So canon doesn't say that that's his last name? Whatever FF writer came up with that one deserves a crapload of cookies…
SpicySuga Lol! Don't worry, he will… Lol!
SecretLily Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the French thing, but all credit for the idea goes to Hilary of Hilary and Jess…
LadyJynjr Thank you! You're a R/Hr shipper? Lol! I'm not actually very fond of them… I'm more H/Hr… But the comparison does make sense… Lol… I dunno… I'm a bit scatter brained tonight…
Courtney Thank you…
Lannei Sorry it took so long to post!
Annie Once again, sorry it took so long to post!
Tracey He has big plans… Big plans… Lol! Thank you!