Dismal Angel 2010 - Episode 23

Chapter 5: You're Not Alone

The next morning Kitty Pryde did not appear at breakfast, although Remy LeBeau did – though it was something he rarely did was show for breakfast at all. Betsy had not showed, this he was glad of for he was sincerely not in the mood to deal with her sharp tongue this morning. "Where's Kitty?" he asked as he grabbed a slice of toast from the plate in the middle of the table and took a large bite, he glanced towards Jean, who was pouring orange juice from a carton into a large glass jug.

"How should I know?" Jean asked casually, she gave a little yawn.

"Because telepaths know the ins and outs of a cats ass," Remy responded, "has she been down?"

"No, poor thing," Jean said, "she walked around too much yesterday, probably made her ankle worse," she offered Remy a glass of juice.

"I'll take breakfast up to her, then," Remy decided, he refused the glass.

"What's with you and Kitty lately, anyway?" Jean asked as she telekinetically pulled a serving tray from a shelf high up above a cupboard.

Remy eyed her curiously as he grabbed a bowl and poured some branflakes – Kitty's favourite cereal – into it.

"I mean – if you'll pardon the pun – you've been thick as Thieves as of late," Jean said with a tiny smile creasing at the corners of her mouth.

"We're just good friends, besides," Remy grabbed the milk from the fridge, "she trusts me…which is more than I can say for most of the other X-Men," he added, he poured milk onto the cereal.

Jean poured a glass of Orange Juice and placed it neatly on the tray, and added a paper napkin, "you know that's not true," she shook her head with a smile of disbelief at his accusations.

"Is it?" Remy asked, he threw a look over his shoulder at Bobby Drake who was sitting several feet away at the table, glancing over at him icily. He threw the icy glare right back, and turned back to Jean, "I always get the feeling everyone in this place is talking behind my back when I'm not around."

"You're paranoid," Jean assured, she was sure Remy's trust issues were the complete opposite, that perhaps it was his mistrust that was the real problem, and not the other way around. "Will you give Kitty two of these?" she asked, placing a small orange bottle of pills on the tray.

"What is this?" Remy asked, "painkillers?" he asked.

"Yeah, kills the pain in her ankle…" Jean explained, "prescription of course. They're very strong."

"I don't think the pain is that bad," Remy replied as he picked the bottle up and read the prescription label, while there weren't any warnings he could find, something about the bottle seemed utterly offensive to him. He was sure he'd read something in a newspaper about painkillers being a risk to pregnancy. He slipped the bottle into the pocket of his jeans.

"Here," Jean picked the tray up and handed it to him, "and have the decency to knock before entering," she added politely.

"Will do," Remy replied, and left Jean, happy to be out of the kitchen.

When he got to Kitty's room, he gave the door three sharp knocks, but no reply came so he decided to enter anyway. Kitty's door was remained unlocked for now simply because of the condition to her ankle in case she might fall or couldn't move and someone needed to get to her hastily. The bed was unmade, some of the blankets hanging to the floor in a careless manner as if they'd just been thrown aside. The heavy pink drapes were closed, and the room was incredibly dark as Remy closed the bedroom door behind himself.

However, light spilled into the dark room from the open threshold into the bathroom, and the sound of a ghastly retching caught Remy's immediate attention. He placed the tray down on the dresser, "Kitty?" he asked concernedly.

"In here," Kitty's rasping tone came from the bathroom a moment later, followed by more heaving and groans.

Remy entered into the bathroom, "bon matin, petite," he feigned a bright and cheery tone, he examined her, she was kneeling on the floor in an oversized Xaviers Institute t-shirt, the collar hanging over one shoulder. "I brought you breakfast."

Another wave of nausea hit Kitty, and Remy turned away, he wasn't in the mood to see any more vomit than he had yesterday. "Don't talk about food," Kitty moaned woefully. Her face was puffy and pale, and shimmering with sweat.

"Morning sickness, huh?" Remy asked.

Kitty rested her arm against the porcelain rim of the toilet, and pressed her forehead against her arm, she gave a half sob, "I want an abortion."

"No you don't," Remy walked over to the sink, grabbed the washcloth from where it hung on a cute little bar under the medicine cabinet, and soaked it in cold water from the tap, he wrung it out, "You don't believe in it, remember?" he squatted down by her.

Kitty looked up, "I can't do this, Remy…I can't. I thought I could, it almost seemed so simple, but now…I don't know…"

"Remember what you said," Remy patted her face with the cool damp cloth, "that maybe it was fate you were to have a baby, and that you have to face your mistakes otherwise you're doomed to repeat it?" he said softly, "besides, I think you're doing great, it's just the hormones talking, that's all," he reminded.

Kitty sighed, "I guess," she ran her fingers through her sweaty hair, "I just don't think I can do this alone."

"You're not alone," Remy reminded.

"I guess…at least I have you, right?" Kitty asked.

"No, I mean…Piotr, and the others – when you tell them that is," Remy said, "I…probably won't be stayin' much longer…" he stood up slowly.

"What?" Kitty demanded, looking up at him somewhat panicked, "You're kidding…right? Please say you're kidding…"

"No," Remy answered softly, "something came up…and I gotta split."

"Why?" Kitty asked, "I mean why now, after all this time, what came up?!"

"It's…to do with a promise I made to Betsy," Remy reminded, "I promised her I'd help her kill Sinister…"

"Excuse me?" Kitty blinked, "And what about your promise to Rogue?! You told her you'd never leave her again!"

"I know I did," Remy looked away, "But if I don't make some kind of sacrifice…I don't know, she might never get to LIVE her life, let alone be mad at me for leaving."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Kitty got up shakily, wincing at the pain in her ankle.

"This thing with…Carol…is unfixable. I told you what she done, Kitty, god knows what else she's been doing to Rogue's body when we've not been around, god knows who she's been out there fucking with…I can't stand the thought of her using Rogue's body that way…"

"What does that have to do with your wanting to leave?" Kitty frowned.

Remy turned away from her from a moment, pondering how to explain this and what depth to go into. He glanced at himself in the mirrored door of the medicine cabinet above the sink. Betsy has me by the balls, he thought as he looked at his unshaven face. I can't let Kitty know that, she thinks so much of me, and this would only make her think I'm as pathetic as I really am that a woman has me right where she wants me.

"Remy?" Kitty asked, she touched his arm and waited anxiously for a response, it had been several moments since he'd last spoken, and she wished that she knew what was going on in that head of his.

Remy drew himself out of his reverie and glanced over his shoulder at her, "If I leave with Betsy – to help her – I can save Rogue. Betsy knows how to fix this…so I cut her a deal," he replied.

"But…she's one of US, she should help her regardless!" Kitty cried at him.

Remy turned towards Kitty, "She's not one for charity cases, Kitty," he explained, "she never does anything without expecting a payback. She never does things out of the kindness of her heart – in fact I'm not even sure the woman HAS a heart," he folded his arms, "Besides…if I don't, it's going to stay with me the rest of my life, this guilt that I could have done something, and I could have banished Carol Danvers."

"But you WON'T get Rogue back if you leave, Remy," Kitty pointed out,

Remy shrugged, "I'll probably die trying to kill Sinister anyway," he shrugged.

"NO WAY," Kitty hissed, "No way are you going to go and throw your life away on a suicide mission to help that English bitch!" she cried desperately at him.

Remy put his hands on her shoulders, "Calm down," he said softly, concerned, it wasn't right to let a pregnant woman get so emotional. "Look, if I don't go after Sinister, he's probably going to come after me eventually anyway…this way I can at least avoid him pulling the rest of you all into this."

"We're mutants, chances are he's going to want to come after us," Kitty pointed out rolling her eyes, "Besides, you seriously can't expect to do this alone."

"I won't be – Betsy will be with me," Remy turned away from her again and pretended to be more interested in checking that the faucet wasn't dripping.

"I mean just the two of you, come on, Remy, you're good but you're not that good, you're still not in perfect shape even after all the training you've done lately, and you just hurt your back again, Remy you cannot do this."

"My back is fine," Remy said.

"Oh yeah?" Kitty asked, she pressed her hand into the small of his back, which she knew was bruised.

He let out a yelp and pulled away, "Oww! Okay, so my back is sore, big deal! It's always been sore."

Kitty pulled the back of his t-shirt up, "My point exactly, you can't be traipsing around trying to murder evil geniuses with your back hurting at the slightest touch – jesus, look at it," she pointed to the bruising, "You're all black and blue!"

Remy moved away again and fixed his t-shirt back down, "I don't care. I can't just sit by and not do anything. Rogue might hate me for the rest of her life but at least she'll be ALIVE and in control of her own body enough to hate me, and not locked away somewhere in her own mind."

Kitty sighed, "Remy, please, you cannot leave again."

"I've made up my mind and that's the end of it."