6 reviews already!!! Thanks to Peegchica and MoonyPadfootJr :I've missed your reviews, glad to have you back! Thanks Elkebaby, Noone, AffectedMangoO and Mon2.
This is long (9 pages in Word) but hopefully that's not too much for people. :-)
Chapter 32 When the Wife's Away
"Ow! Get off me!" Cassius groaned with pain as Stevens's elbow dug harder into his ribs. Stevens giggled then snorted as he rolled off his friend. He lay there for a moment before sitting up suddenly, checking that he had all of his body parts. He checked Cassius over too.
"Woo hoo!" He grinned down at Cassius. "Once again, drunken Apparating is a success!"
"Hoorah for us!" Cassius held his hand up for a high five. Stevens managed to hit Cassius's hand through a miracle of coordination.
"We didn't stick the landing. The British judge gives us a seven." Stevens flopped back down on the floor.
"The Russian judge gives us a five point six. Bastard." Cassius pulled himself up onto Stevens's couch. "And remember, we are not telling Remus we did that."
"Like I ever want to hear the 'you could have splinched yourself' speech again." Stevens shuddered as he remembered Remus's lecture after last year's birthday celebrations. He and Cassius had Apparated into the bathtub, so tangled up that they couldn't get themselves out. Remus had had a captive audience for his thirteen minute lecture, Stevens marveled how every year the lecture got longer, then it had taken ten minutes to get themselves separated and standing on the bathroom floor. He grabbed Cassius's boot suddenly as he thought of something. "You're not going to get in trouble for the tattoo, are you?"
"Nah, Remus likes the other one." Cassius leaned his head back against the cushions. "The room is spinning."
"I know."
"I'm hungry."
"Me too."
"Well, get us something to eat!"
"I'm the birthday boy, you get it."
"Fine." Cassius stood, then swayed for a moment. "Where's your kitchen?"
"The same place it's been for the past seven years."
"Fucker. Where is that?"
"That way." Stevens flung his left arm out and pointed to the doorway.
Cassius carefully stepped over Stevens and a moment later there was a loud crash from the kitchen accompanied by more swearing.
"I hope you didn't like that vase." Cassius yelled.
"If it was impeding the arrival of the food, I hated it!"
"Ouch! Mmphr Fumrr."
"What'd you do now?"
"Burned my damn hand." Cassius walked out of the kitchen, levitating a pizza in front of him. "Stupid heating charm."
"You are a god." Stevens sat up as Cassius set the pizza on the coffee table. "A god who can't do competent 4th year charms."
"Bite me." Cassius stuck his tongue out as he sat down on the floor across from Stevens and held his hand out.
"Yup, you burned it all right." Stevens looked at the hand thoughtfully.
"Will you just heal it?"
Stevens reached into his coat pocket and retrieved his wand. He did a healing spell on Cassius's hand. "Anything else or can I eat now?"
"You can eat." Cassius pulled off his coat – or tried to. "I'm stuck."
"When I was 30, I could drink 8 shots of fire whiskey AND take my coat off afterwards." Stevens said proudly, around a mouthful of pizza.
"You've always been my hero." Cassius said dryly, finally yanking his right hand from his coat sleeve. He grabbed a piece of pizza and took a big bite.
"Hello?" Clara opened the door and peeked her head in.
"Clara!"
"It's Clara!"
"It's Clara!"
"I know!"
"You're both pissed!!" Clara shut the door behind her and walked across the room.
"What?"
"She means we're drunk." Stevens whispered loudly.
"I know what she means, I was trying to deny it." Cassius whispered loudly back.
"Oh…crap. I've gone and completely admitted it, like an idiot, haven't I?"
"You have. You're not my hero anymore."
"Oh, Cassie, don't be that way." Stevens started to crawl around the coffee table.
"Oh, no, get away!" Cassius tried to move backwards but didn't move quickly enough to escape Stevens's tickling fingers. "St…st…st……op. Op!" Cassius couldn't stop laughing long enough to get a whole word out.
Clara shook her head as she sat down and reached for a piece of pizza. "So does this mean we're not watching the Star Wars trilogy tonight?"
Stevens immediately stopped tickling Cassius to look over at Clara. "'I find your lack of faith disturbing'." (1)
Cassius covered his mouth and imitated Darth Vader's breathing for a moment before both he and Stevens broke out in giggles. Clara wished she had a muggle video camera. No one at work would believe that Auror Malfoy got drunk and giggled.
"Can you move off me now so I could have another piece of pizza?" Cassius asked.
"Not until you say I'm your hero again."
"I'm your hero again."
"Good enough." Stevens got up and crawled over to Clara.
"So, you had a fun afternoon?" Clara asked as Stevens climbed onto the couch next to her.
"Brilliant." Stevens flung his arm around her and pulled her close into a deep kiss, then suddenly sat up and pulled his shirt off. "Look"
Clara stared at the intricate design that now covered Stevens's upper chest above his heart. "Wow." She reached out and traced over a bit of it. "It's beautiful."
Stevens sat back. "Cassie got one too."
"You did?"
"Mmm." Cassius answered with a few more words that Clara couldn't understand due to the fact he was eating pizza.
"What'd he say?"
"He said it's on his back and he'd show you when he was done eating." Stevens leaned forward and grabbed another piece of pizza.
"He said all that?"
"No clue, really." Stevens accio'd some bottles of soda from his cooling cupboard. "Cassie, put the tape in."
Cassius waved his hand and a videotape levitated up and into the muggle VCR. A moment later, the Star Wars theme song was beginning. Clara had seen the movies with her muggle cousins when they had come out in the theatre, but watching with Cassius and Stevens was an entirely different, and hilarious, experience.
"Lupin." Snape sneered as he walked into the staff room.
"Hello, Severus." Was it his overactive imagination or were Snape's cheeks turning pink? He'd been using Snape's first name since the beginning of the year as an attempt to be friendly with him and emphasis that they were both professors now, not school boys. "Did you have a nice holiday?"
"Hardly. I was here." Snape answered scornfully, there was a slight pause. "And where were you?"
"My aunt invited me to stay, unexpectedly." Remus replied lightly. He took a step towards Snape who took a step back. "Good thing you did that."
"What?" Snape glared at Remus.
"Mistletoe." Remus smiled and pointed towards the ceiling. "Albus must have forgotten he put it up there. You were right under it."
Snape's face turned red as he whirled around and stormed out of the staff room. Remus waited until the door had slammed behind him before letting out a short laugh. He owled Cassius later that day telling him about the conversation, making sure to be clear about the fact that he and Snape had NOT actually kissed.
In early February, Stevens met Clara for lunch at the Ministry. As they entered the cafeteria and looked around for somewhere to sit, they saw Cassius across the room. Cassius was eating at the end of one of the long tables in the cafeteria. No one was sitting near him.
"There's Cassie. He looks…" Clara trailed off, she had been going to say lonely, but in fact Cassius didn't look lonely, he didn't look like anything. His face was devoid of emotion and he was eating, reading a report in front of him.
"He does look a bit off, doesn't he?" Stevens looked at his friend with concern. Clara looked up at her boyfriend. They'd been dating over eight months now and every day she realized how special he was. He'd kept up the playboy persona for the first few months, which was very attractive, but he was really a very caring, considerate, smart man, which was even more attractive.
"Come on. You have no idea just how cool I will be if I eat lunch with Cassius Malfoy and live to tell the tale." Clara took his hand and started over towards the table.
"Hey, Cassie." Stevens sat down close to Cassius and Clara sat opposite.
"Hello." Cassius's voice was sleek. Clara couldn't believe it was the same man she had been getting to know since the Christmas holidays.
"What's going on?"
"Black got into the Gryffindor dorms last night."
"What?" Stevens and Clara both gasped.
"One of the 3rd year boys woke up with Black standing over him, holding a knife."
"Was it Harry Potter?" As a loyal Gryffindor, Clara knew that Harry Potter had been sorted into Gryffindor and was in his third year.
"No, one of Arthur Weasley's children."
"Merlin." Clara couldn't believe it. "How'd he get past the Dementors?"
"We don't know." Cassius replied coolly. Clara looked closely at him and noticed that he was rocking back and forth very slightly. She looked over at Stevens and knew he had noticed it as well. As soon as they had sat down, food had appeared in front of them. Now, Stevens leaned forward, set his left forearm on the table next to his plate, and picked up his fork with his right hand. Clara picked up her fork too and started to eat.
"Did they catch him?" Stevens asked calmly before taking a bite.
"No. Dumbledore had Hogwarts searched but Black was nowhere to be found."
"Well, he'll be caught soon enough." Clara echoed an agreement and watched as Cassius's right hand slowly moved the few inches towards Stevens's arm.
"Have you heard from him?" Stevens looked over at Clara and smiled as Cassius's fingers slipped under the folds of his sleeve near his wrist. Remus had mentioned to her that Cassius had panic attacks and felt better if he could feel someone else's pulse. She was suddenly glad they had joined Cassius for lunch so that Stevens could calm him. She smiled back at Stevens.
"No." Cassius shrugged. "He can't owl me here."
"I'm sure he's fine. The reports would have said if he wasn't." Stevens said soothingly. Cassius nodded. "We were thinking of going to the movies tonight. Want to come?"
"No."
"Come on, you can tell us what the movie was about."
"Why wouldn't you know what the movie was about?" Clara noticed that Cassius had stopped rocking but his hand was still hidden under Stevens's sleeve. "Because I'll be busy snogging the prettiest witch in the world." Stevens winked at Clara who laughed. Cassius started to laugh with her. Clara looked around the cafeteria and noticed that many witches and wizards were looking on, slack jawed as Cassius Malfoy actually laughed.
"What movie is it?"
"The Princess Bride."
"We've seen that millions of times."
"Clara hasn't." Stevens shrugged.
"I think I'll go home."
"Spoilsport. Come on."
"Yes, come with us. Cassie, it'd be fun, you need to have fun." Clara added her voice to the argument.
"What time's the movie?"
"Eight o'clock. So you could go home, read his letter and then come with us."
"All right."
Cassius was reading a book about Dementors at his desk a few hours later. He was trying to figure out how Black was able to get past them.
"I thought you'd stopped that." Hill's voice made Cassius jump.
"What?" Cassius whirled around.
"That." Hill pointed. Cassius looked down and noticed he'd chewed two of his fingers bloody while he'd been reading.
"Oh." Cassius felt his face get hot for a moment before he clamped down on his emotions. Malfoys didn't show shame. He could hear his father shouting at him. And then…Regulus was hurt and something was going to happen…
"Hold it out." Hill's voice caused him to jump a second time.
"What?"
"Have you gone deaf, Malfoy? I said hold it out. I'll do a healing spell on them. You can't bleed all over everywhere." Hill looked pissed off.
"Oh." Cassius held his hand out. Hill took hold of it like it was something very distasteful and waved his wand over it. The blood and tearing disappeared instantly.
"There." Hill dropped his hand abruptly.
"Thanks."
Hill stood there for a moment, looking at Cassius with an unreadable expression. Cassius wasn't sure what to do, he'd said thanks, was there something else he should say? "It must be hard for you…"
"What must be?" Cassius felt bewildered, he and Hill hadn't spoken civilly to each other since early in their 7th year.
"Black being on the loose, your cousin and all that."
"If you're going to accuse me of being a Death Eater just because Black is my cousin– " Cassius felt himself getting angry.
"No." Hill cut him off sharply. "Never mind. Look, if you make yourself bleed again…you know you shouldn't chew your fingers anyway, but if you do, I'll do a healing spell on them for you. If you want."
"Oh." Cassius wondered if Hill had recently hit his head on assignment. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it. And I mean that." Hill turned and walked towards the cubicle opening. "It's time for the briefing, Kingsley sent me to get you."
"This is ridiculous. He obviously has someone inside the castle helping him." Snape huffed as they made a final loop around the castle before curfew.
"If you're trying to bait me, it won't work." Remus said calmly. "I'm not helping him."
"So you say." Snape's voice dripped with scorn.
"Severus, I really thought after all these years, we'd be able to put our school days behind us."
"Maybe you can forget."
"It was a foolish prank."
"It wasn't a prank! It was a deliberate attempt to kill me because he'd found-"
"Found what?"
"Nothing." Snape said sharply as he whirled around and started back towards the castle, leaving Remus standing alone near Hagrid's cottage. Remus shook his head. He couldn't see how Snape really had a crush on him since he was always so vile. And what had Sirius found? Had Snape had a crush on him in school? Remus couldn't remember ever actually talking to Snape. Surely, Snape hadn't had a crush on him all these years. As Remus turned and walked back towards the castle, he could have sworn he saw something move on the edge of the forest but when he looked back, there was nothing. (2)
Remus arrived home for the Easter Holiday while Tabby was fixing breakfast.
"Remus! We didn't expect you until dinner!" Tabby said as she hugged him.
"I know…I couldn't wait."
"How'd you get home?"
"I walked to Hogsmeade and flooed from there." Remus pulled his trunk out of his pocket where he'd put it after shrinking it. "Where's Cass?"
"Upstairs. He and Stevens are still sleeping." Tabby answered. "They're in your room. Go wake them up, breakfast is almost ready." Tabby ordered gently.
Remus hurried up the stairs and opened the door to their bedroom. Stevens and Cassius were sleeping, Stevens stretched out on his back, Cassius curled up next to his side, his hand resting over Stevens' heart. One of Stevens's arms was pinned under Cassius. "Wake up, sleepy heads." Remus said quietly, walking over to the bed. Stevens woke first, and tried to extricate his arm.
"Morning. It is still morning, isn't it?" He said, voice crackly from sleep.
Remus nodded. "Breakfast is ready." Remus shook Cassius' shoulder. "Cass, wake up." One emerald eye opened and looked at Remus.
"You're home!" Cassius rolled over and threw his arms around Remus, pulling him down onto the bed. "You weren't due home until tonight!" Cassius kissed Remus.
"If you're going to have sex, would you at least let me get off the bed, please?" Stevens let out a small yelp. "And that's me."
"Oh! Sorry." Remus blushed furiously, pulling away from Cassius. Cassius sat up, freeing Stevens's arm.
"I think my arm's dead." Stevens moaned as he quickly left the room. "Tabby, my love, it'll just be you and me for breakfast." Remus could hear his voice floating up the stairs as Cassius's hands pulled off his shirt.
1) Quote from Star Wars (A New Beginning, aka the first one)
2) Thanks to Mon2 for the idea that Sirius knew about Snape's crush back in the day and that was why he pulled the prank. Because he was jealous! Remus seems to inspire insane jealousy in those he loves – it's because he's so wonderful!!
7 reviews and I'll update because the next chapter is ready (Yes I am greedy for reviews!)Preview – Cassius finds out what caused his memory to be bad!