Disclaimer ~ Once again: I do not own Teen Titans. You know, I should actually just post one BIG disclaimer in my bio...hmm...NOT a bad idea...
A/N ~ I know that this took a REALLY long time to post this, but I have a good excuse; lack of inspiration. Nothing depressing has really happened to me...Of course, I should be thankful, but still...^ ^:; Oh well. Enjoy!
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Chapter 8 - Acid Oak
Insomnia stinks. You stay up doing nothing, and when you eventually go to sleep after the third day, all you have are nightmares. Oh, and that's right, I've been up for three days. I keep replaying everything: the yelling, the slapping, the pushing, the drowning, the blood...Pretty violent things to be thinking about for a pacifist...
The rain had been falling for the three days that I had been awake. At first it was nice. It felt like it was trying to comfort me in the sound and look of it. It changed after awhile. I felt in the pounding in my head. Millions of droplets came crashing down into the roof, through my ceiling, and into my head. The comforting was gone, the insanity had come. I could feel it closing in on me...drowning me still...Drowning me in a dead sea.
I want to run downstairs and tell them that I made a mistake...but I can't. My pride clings onto my leg every time I try to escape...escape the living hell that is my room. Every time I even think about it, my fear thinks about what they would say, or what they might do. Either way, though, I need to get out.
My head turned slowly to the window at my left. A crazed smile nearly rose to my face and I sat up from my bed.
"I can go out the window..." I thought about it for a minute, wondering if that was the best idea. "Yes. Not like they expect me to come out for another three days, anyway."
Undoing the latch on the window, I lifted it up slowly. The wind and rain suddenly decided to blow in my direction. The pounding that had once been going through the roof, into my head, was now going directly to my head. Flinching slightly while I climbed out the window, I got a good grip and floated gently, and slowly, away from the tower.
I flew towards the city for a bit and turned to the tower. "I'll come back..."
Flying high so not many would be able to see me, I wove in and out through the clouds. Not a nice feeling, for the smog and from the buildings, and the smoke from the cigarettes had covered the clouds in a thin, but very definite, veil of pollution.
I could feel the smoke starting to enter my lungs, and there was a abrupt jerk afterwards. My coughing kept jerking my lungs back and forth when I breathed in. I quickly drifted down to the ground and started to walk towards the park, where the air's clean. THAT felt nice. I made sure to take deep, long breaths, and not to take for granted the pure air that I usually get.
Lifting my foot up to start walking down the park path, I thought about the blanket of smog that had been entering the clouds up above. If memory serves, enough of that will cause acid rain to fall. So I better get out of here. Even if it's not fatal or anything, it's definitely not healthy.
"Don't stain my cloak...Don't stain my cloak..." Oh my. I can't believe I'm worried about THAT.
I then saw, not just the darkened sky of smog, but people all over the park that were smoking. In the alleys, which I expected, but also near ball parks and such. And everyone's cars...They're all lifting fumes up into the atmosphere...
Flying level with the tops of the trees, and tried to scout out a good area to meditate. If I don't calm myself enough to meditate soon...Don't think about that.
The rain...It was once so comforting to me. Why has it changed? The once spirited drops of water have changed to be slow, boring, dead. Now what is there to comfort me in the depths of the night? Now what is there to keep me from losing my sanity?
Every corner seemed to be packed with people, wherever I went. Despite the still pouring acid rain, everyone seemed to be going about with their daily lives. I wanted to cry out and have someone take me to a quiet, tranquil, sanctuary where I could meditate without fear of the rain, without fear of the smoke, and without fear of fear itself. There would be no one that would ever come, though. No one would want to approach me, just because I look different. My teammates all hate me for one thing or another.
You'd never guess it if you saw me on the street, or if you were talking to me, but I'm actually...I'm actually lonely. I guess always had this feeling in the pit of my heart. A horrible, jagged, moving pain that jerks my heart around. I always thought that it was something else. I never knew that I was lonely. I've always forced myself to believe that I hated the world and that I needed to be away. Always forced myself to believe that crowds were bad.
Lonely for so long...Even around the team, I was lonely, though. Why is that now?
I floated down near a big oak tree in the park. It's branches spread far, and the leaves almost kept me dry. When I took a closer look, though, there were many scars that this tree bore. It's branches were bent from people climbing on it. It's bark and leaves were tainted from the continued falling of the polluted rain. Though it was so worn and broken, it looked so strong, and when I looked at the statues near the buildings that were being barraged by the rain, they seemed so weak. Almost ready to break apart.
Crossing my legs lethargically, I began to try and meditate.
The piercing acid rain began to bite the ground more slowly. My head started to faze into nothing. My mind was finally able to rest in the pieces of the depression and hopelessness that I'd been feeling for the past eternity. If everything comes crashing down, I'll at least be able to say that it wasn't me who caused it.
The falling rain that had once burned the being of this tree, finally has lost its striking, toxic burn. My serene, yet excited, drops of water had come back to me once again after all. No being on this planet will be able to take away the beauty of the rain...Of course...If the whole planet turned its back to it...yes...Then the calming sensation that takes me will be gone...
My head bobbed forward, and I jerked it backwards again, my eyes wide open. They closed slowly, hesitantly. I drifted to the ground while I lost my consiousness of doing it. Meditating all the same, I became unknowing to what was around me. Such relaxation I'd forgotten about...
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A/N ~ Well, that's it. ^^ Hope you liked it, though I didn't. Just review it, OK?
A/N ~ I know that this took a REALLY long time to post this, but I have a good excuse; lack of inspiration. Nothing depressing has really happened to me...Of course, I should be thankful, but still...^ ^:; Oh well. Enjoy!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Chapter 8 - Acid Oak
Insomnia stinks. You stay up doing nothing, and when you eventually go to sleep after the third day, all you have are nightmares. Oh, and that's right, I've been up for three days. I keep replaying everything: the yelling, the slapping, the pushing, the drowning, the blood...Pretty violent things to be thinking about for a pacifist...
The rain had been falling for the three days that I had been awake. At first it was nice. It felt like it was trying to comfort me in the sound and look of it. It changed after awhile. I felt in the pounding in my head. Millions of droplets came crashing down into the roof, through my ceiling, and into my head. The comforting was gone, the insanity had come. I could feel it closing in on me...drowning me still...Drowning me in a dead sea.
I want to run downstairs and tell them that I made a mistake...but I can't. My pride clings onto my leg every time I try to escape...escape the living hell that is my room. Every time I even think about it, my fear thinks about what they would say, or what they might do. Either way, though, I need to get out.
My head turned slowly to the window at my left. A crazed smile nearly rose to my face and I sat up from my bed.
"I can go out the window..." I thought about it for a minute, wondering if that was the best idea. "Yes. Not like they expect me to come out for another three days, anyway."
Undoing the latch on the window, I lifted it up slowly. The wind and rain suddenly decided to blow in my direction. The pounding that had once been going through the roof, into my head, was now going directly to my head. Flinching slightly while I climbed out the window, I got a good grip and floated gently, and slowly, away from the tower.
I flew towards the city for a bit and turned to the tower. "I'll come back..."
Flying high so not many would be able to see me, I wove in and out through the clouds. Not a nice feeling, for the smog and from the buildings, and the smoke from the cigarettes had covered the clouds in a thin, but very definite, veil of pollution.
I could feel the smoke starting to enter my lungs, and there was a abrupt jerk afterwards. My coughing kept jerking my lungs back and forth when I breathed in. I quickly drifted down to the ground and started to walk towards the park, where the air's clean. THAT felt nice. I made sure to take deep, long breaths, and not to take for granted the pure air that I usually get.
Lifting my foot up to start walking down the park path, I thought about the blanket of smog that had been entering the clouds up above. If memory serves, enough of that will cause acid rain to fall. So I better get out of here. Even if it's not fatal or anything, it's definitely not healthy.
"Don't stain my cloak...Don't stain my cloak..." Oh my. I can't believe I'm worried about THAT.
I then saw, not just the darkened sky of smog, but people all over the park that were smoking. In the alleys, which I expected, but also near ball parks and such. And everyone's cars...They're all lifting fumes up into the atmosphere...
Flying level with the tops of the trees, and tried to scout out a good area to meditate. If I don't calm myself enough to meditate soon...Don't think about that.
The rain...It was once so comforting to me. Why has it changed? The once spirited drops of water have changed to be slow, boring, dead. Now what is there to comfort me in the depths of the night? Now what is there to keep me from losing my sanity?
Every corner seemed to be packed with people, wherever I went. Despite the still pouring acid rain, everyone seemed to be going about with their daily lives. I wanted to cry out and have someone take me to a quiet, tranquil, sanctuary where I could meditate without fear of the rain, without fear of the smoke, and without fear of fear itself. There would be no one that would ever come, though. No one would want to approach me, just because I look different. My teammates all hate me for one thing or another.
You'd never guess it if you saw me on the street, or if you were talking to me, but I'm actually...I'm actually lonely. I guess always had this feeling in the pit of my heart. A horrible, jagged, moving pain that jerks my heart around. I always thought that it was something else. I never knew that I was lonely. I've always forced myself to believe that I hated the world and that I needed to be away. Always forced myself to believe that crowds were bad.
Lonely for so long...Even around the team, I was lonely, though. Why is that now?
I floated down near a big oak tree in the park. It's branches spread far, and the leaves almost kept me dry. When I took a closer look, though, there were many scars that this tree bore. It's branches were bent from people climbing on it. It's bark and leaves were tainted from the continued falling of the polluted rain. Though it was so worn and broken, it looked so strong, and when I looked at the statues near the buildings that were being barraged by the rain, they seemed so weak. Almost ready to break apart.
Crossing my legs lethargically, I began to try and meditate.
The piercing acid rain began to bite the ground more slowly. My head started to faze into nothing. My mind was finally able to rest in the pieces of the depression and hopelessness that I'd been feeling for the past eternity. If everything comes crashing down, I'll at least be able to say that it wasn't me who caused it.
The falling rain that had once burned the being of this tree, finally has lost its striking, toxic burn. My serene, yet excited, drops of water had come back to me once again after all. No being on this planet will be able to take away the beauty of the rain...Of course...If the whole planet turned its back to it...yes...Then the calming sensation that takes me will be gone...
My head bobbed forward, and I jerked it backwards again, my eyes wide open. They closed slowly, hesitantly. I drifted to the ground while I lost my consiousness of doing it. Meditating all the same, I became unknowing to what was around me. Such relaxation I'd forgotten about...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A/N ~ Well, that's it. ^^ Hope you liked it, though I didn't. Just review it, OK?