Chapter 34 An Innocent Man

Dearest Lovely Wife,

I'm sorry I didn't owl, I was on assignment the past two weeks. Kingsley can vouch for me so don't punish me by not repeating that thing you did when I made my promise. I enjoy it too.

I guess I'm glad to hear that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup. It's too bad Ravenclaw hasn't had a decent team in years.

Love, Husband

Dearest Husband,

Dumbledore asked me if I would teach next year. I would like to. May I? We could rent a small flat in Hogsmeade so we could be together every weekend. Please think about it and owl me back. Dumbledore would like to know in the next few days.

Exams start next week and then a week after that I'll be home!

Love, Wife

Dear Wife,

Yes, you may teach there next year. We'll have to see about the flat. That plan would only work if Black has been caught by then.

Stevens thinks he can get tickets for the World Cup. Would you want to go? You could go as Clara's friend so we could all go together.

Love, Husband

Dear Husband,

Of course, I want to go to the World Cup! Why are you even asking? That would be brilliant!

Dumbledore was happy to hear that I'd be teaching next year. So was Snape, I think, although his expression never seems to change. Maybe, when you've finished with your current matchmaking project, you could help Snape? I think he could use some major sexual healing.

Love, Your Wife

Wife,

Are you trying to traumatize me? I have enough nightmares as it is without thinking of Snape having sex. Yuck!

Just over a week now and you'll be home. I miss you so much. I can't wait for you to be home…and to have you in our bed again.

Love, Your Husband

That night, Cassius stalked down the corridor to the Auror Headquarters meeting room. It was almost midnight. He'd received an owl, urgently ordering him to the Ministry.

"Sirius Black has been caught by Professor Severus Snape." Worth announced, once all the aurors were assembled. There were murmurs of surprise throughout the room. "Black had kidnapped Harry Potter and two other students and taken them to the Shrieking Shack. Snape followed them. Black is an unregistered animagus, which was how he was able to elude us all this time. It seems Professor Remus Lupin had knowledge of that fact and was collaborating with Black, helping him infiltrate Hogwarts." Cassius felt himself stiffen. That couldn't be true! "Lupin is a werewolf. Since it is the full moon, he is currently transformed in the Forbidden Forest and has not been apprehended at this time."

Minister Fudge rushed into the room. "Sirius Black has escaped. You are all ordered to find him at once! And when his accomplice Lupin is human again – capture him and send him to Azkaban!"

There was a loud crash as the table in the staff room flew across the floor and smashed against the wall, narrowly missing Fudge. Cassius felt everyone's eyes turn to him. He looked down where his wand was gripped tightly in his hand. He had a vague memory of getting his wand out but he had no idea how he had been able to move the table.

"Damn Black – how did he escape?" Cassius forced himself to be calm. He noticed Kingsley look at him closely before echoing his question.

"Don't know…Black is truly a student of You Know Who…slips through our grasp just like he does. This is an embarrassment to the Ministry." Fudge said angrily. "Meeting dismissed. Just find him!" Cassius watched as Fudge walked over to Kingsley, glancing nervously at Cassius.

After a moment, Fudge left and Kingsley walked over to Cassius. They were the only two people left in the room. "Says your temper is too dangerous, family connection with Black and all that – wants to you cool off for a couple days."

"That another way of saying I'm suspended?" Cassius asked smoothly.

"Cass…" Kingsley sighed, rubbing his hand on his head. "I would have done the same thing. But…yes…you're suspended for two days. Dumbledore will vouch for Remus, you'll see, he won't go to Azkaban. He wasn't helping Black, I know it."

Cassius nodded, not feeling as certain as Kingsley about either of those things.

"Cassius." Remus whispered as he lay on the ground in the Forbidden Forest. It had been his first transformation without Wolfsbane in years and he had torn himself up badly in his madness. There was a crack as Cassius Apparated a few feet away. Cassius quickly knelt by his side, gathering Remus' bloody naked body to him. "I…I didn't take the wolfsbane." Remus whispered, he was exhausted, cold and in terrible pain.

"Shush…don't speak. I've got you now. I'll heal the worst, and then I'll get you to Hagrid, he can take you to Poppy." Cassius kissed him gently before reaching in his pocket for his wand. He did a few healing spells on the worst of Remus's injuries. Then he wrapped his coat around Remus. Remus couldn't help gasping in pain as Cassius picked him up. He had so many cuts and bruises, he didn't have anywhere on his body that didn't hurt. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know I should know more healing spells... It will be better soon."

"I love you." Remus murmured into Cassius' neck.

"I love you too, Remus."

The next afternoon, Remus returned home from Hogwarts after resigning. Cassius was glad to be home for his mate. He'd thrown his arms around Cassius and kissed him urgently before sitting down at the table to eat dinner.

"He was so thin – like a skeleton. You should have seen him. I hardly recognized him. So thin." Remus remembered hugging Sirius in the Shrieking Shack. He'd been so happy to know Sirius was innocent – to know he hadn't been fooled. He'd thrown his arms around Sirius and hugged him tightly and he'd felt just how thin Sirius was, Remus had worried he'd break him. It was so different from how it had felt when they were together, when Sirius had wrapped his strong arms around Remus and held him tight.

"But he was innocent. That whole time! Innocent! It was Peter…he was the traitor. Not Sirius. Isn't it amazing! Sirius didn't betray James and Lily – he didn't!" Remus smiled ecstatically. "Now we just have to capture Peter and then Sirius will be cleared of all the charges. He'll be a free man! Isn't it wonderful!"

"There's no proof…Black is still a wanted wizard." Cassius said calmly in spite of feeling like he was choking. Remus hadn't loved Sirius anymore because of what he'd done…and now Sirius was innocent.

"But I saw Peter, he's alive! Sirius told me they switched secret keepers at the last moment…that's how Peter could betray James and Lily. Peter was the one working for Voldemort. Harry and his friends know it too!"

"Remus, the Wizengamot won't take the word of a werewolf, a convicted murderer and three children. There were witnesses that saw Black kill Pettigrew, not to mention the twelve muggles as well. No one believes Peter Pettigrew is alive. There's no proof."

"Just because I'm a werewolf doesn't mean I lie!" Remus's eyes glowed. He was still high-strung from the adrenalin of the transformation and the events of past day.

"I'm not saying that…I'm just saying-"

"He's innocent! You don't believe me, do you!" Remus's hands shook, clattering his fork against his plate. "I knew you hated him, but you don't believe me!?" The sting of Cassius not believing him was like salt in a wound, a wound caused by the revelation Sirius had believed Remus to be the spy.

"I do believe you. If you say that's what happened, I believe you." Remus was too upset to notice the Malfoy voice.

"Then prove it!"

"How?" Cassius asked calmly.

"Don't find him."

"What?"

"If Sirius is caught, he'll get The Kiss, then he can't prove his innocence. He won't get another trial. You're assigned to find him. If you don't catch him, then he'll be safe." Remus' amber eyes had a gleam of desperation in them.

"I'm one of seven aurors assigned to find him. Even if I agreed to this, there's nothing saying one of the other six won't catch him."

"But at least it won't be you. And he's outsmarted you all so far."

"That's because no one knew he was an animagus." Cassius said dryly.

"Oh…well…" Remus flushed.

Cassius was growing more certain by the moment that Remus wanted to reunite with Sirius now he knew Sirius was innocent. "You get mad at me when I keep secrets and then you do it yourself! Why didn't you tell me he was an animagus?"

"Because I knew you'd be mad at me." Remus hung his head. He hated for anyone, especially Cassius, to be mad or disappointed in him.

"And why did you 'know' that?" Cassius replied coolly.

"Because it was against the law…Sirius, James and Peter were unregistered animagi…and it was my fault they did it…it was dangerous…I made them do it."

"Hold a wand to their heads, did you?"

"No…but…"

"So, they were all unregistered animagi. And it was your fault – even though it wasn't – and that's why you knew I'd be mad at you."

"Yes." Remus answered in a small voice. "And you are mad at me."

"Remus…I'm mad at you because you knew that Black could get into Hogwarts – to get to Harry Potter for all anyone knew, and you didn't tell anyone! What if he wasn't innocent? You didn't know he was! What if he had killed Harry? Or any of the children there? What would you have done then?"

"I…"

"Did you even think about it?"

"Yes! I did! I thought about all the time!! About all the ways I'd kill him to protect Harry! To stop him before he could kill Harry like he did James and Lily!" Remus' eyes filled up with tears. "That's why I had to go to Hogwarts! Because I didn't want you or Dumbledore to know that they'd become unregistered animagi because of me! I had to be there to stop him because I was the only one who knew what he looked like – how he could get in!"

"That's why you wanted to go so badly." Cassius's tone left no doubt that he didn't believe Remus.

"Yes! Yes! I didn't want to reunite with him! I don't want to! I know that's what you think and it's not true! When will you believe I love you?" Remus was dimly aware that he was shouting and at some point he had stood up, knocking over his goblet of pumpkin juice. It had created a small puddle across the table. "I love you, Cassius!"

"You loved him, don't lie to me. You love him still!" Cassius stood up, Remus felt a wind whipping around the kitchen and looked into Cassius' black eyes.

"He was my best friend! Don't you love Stevens? Wouldn't you do anything for him?" Remus yelled.

"It's not the same! I never lived with Stevens, sleeping in the same bed with him for three years! Doing things to him!" Cassius shouted. "You always said it was just fooling around but three years isn't fooling around, Remus!

"I…" They had shared a bed, they had been involved. Remus couldn't deny that. But he hadn't felt the depth of love for Sirius that he felt for Cassius.

"I remember seeing you two at school. You were always kissing in the hallways between classes, rubbing against each other. So, don't tell me you don't love him!" Cassius growled. There were muffled crashes as the dishes in the cupboards shattered. "You don't have to stay with me anymore, you've got that potion now. You probably had that all planned, didn't you?" Cassius' voice was icy cold.

"What?" Remus stared at him.

"Getting Poppy to make a potion to help with the separation illness, so you could be with Black even though you're mated to me." The air in the kitchen crackled with energy.

"How dare you accuse me of planning to leave you!" Remus felt a fresh surge of anger. "I would never!" He shivered in the cold air of the kitchen as he looked past Cassius and saw the fire blazing in the fireplace. They were feeding on each other's emotions, through their link. He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. "I did love him…I do love him still…as a friend." Remus moved around the table to grab Cassius' hands in his. "Not like I love you. I don't want him. I want you."

"You don't!" Cassius yanked his hands away. "Now that you know he's innocent you want to be with him!"

"Don't tell me what I want!" Remus shouted angrily. "I know what I want. I want you!"

"Why! Why do you want me?"

"Because…" Remus couldn't speak, he loved Cassius for so many reasons, it was hard to articulate them. "You're caring, loyal, honest and brave." Remus took a step closer to Cassius who was backing up, shaking his head. Remus reached out, grabbed his arms and held on with all his might. "Because you trust me…or you did, until now." Cassius was silent. Remus let him go and walked over to the window. He took a deep breath to gather his courage. "I did love Sirius, I thought I did…But after he went to Azkaban, I fell in love with you. I love you. I love you more than anything. I trust you. And…I thought we trusted each other." The crackle of the fire was the only sound in the room.

"I do trust you, Remus." Cassius said quietly. "I love you. It's just…you love Sirius."

"No. Not like you think. Cass." Remus hesitated, biting his lip. "Sirius thought I was the spy for Voldemort." Now that he'd said it to Cassius, it felt real. In the Shrieking Shack he'd only felt numb when he'd realized Sirius had suspected him. Now, it was real and he felt hurt, more than hurt, wounded to his very core, that Sirius had thought he could have been a Death Eater.

"What?" The surprise was clear in Cassius's voice. "Was he insane before he went to Azkaban?"

"That's why he switched secret keepers…I knew Sirius was going to be James and Lily's secret keeper, so he changed to Peter without telling me, without telling anyone."

"Oh, Remus." Cassius's arms were around him, and all the tears Remus had held inside when he'd been shunned or insulted because he was a werewolf were suddenly released. He turned, burying his head in Cassius's neck, sobbing.

"He thought I was the spy." Remus choked out between sobs.

"Fucking bastard." Remus heard Cassius mutter. "Remus, don't cry, he's the only one who thought that. No one else did. No one who knew you would ever think that."

"They probably all thought I was because I'm a werewolf." He said thickly, feeling more tears slide down his face. There was a sharp crack as the glass face of the clock shattered.

"Remus, that doesn't make any difference! You were seven when it happened, for Merlin's sake! It wasn't your choice!" Cassius sat down on the bench and pulled Remus into his lap holding him tightly. "The bite of a werewolf doesn't change the fundamental character of the witch or wizard it infects."

"What's that from?" Remus asked, hiccupping, it sounded like Cassius was quoting something.

"A Werewolf Rights League pamphlet." Cassius answered, gently wiping the tears from Remus's cheek. "It's true, isn't it? You aren't a dark wizard and just because you were bitten by a werewolf that didn't turn you into one. You didn't allow being a werewolf to destroy your goodness, your humanity. And he's a complete git if he didn't realize that." Remus rested his head on Cassius's shoulder as he stroked his hand up and down Remus's back soothingly. "Everyone else knows you aren't a dark wizard. Moody wouldn't be friends with you if he thought you were. Dumbledore wouldn't have offered you the DADA job if he thought you were. And Tabby knows you're not a dark wizard and she was famous for being able to detect them."

Remus thought about that for a moment, but there was still one thought that bothered him.

Remus lifted his head up to look at Cassius. "Do you think James and Lily thought I was the spy?"

"Of course, they didn't. Didn't they let you baby-sit Harry all by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Well, then." Cassius kissed Remus's cheek tenderly. "They couldn't have. I think…I think actually Moody thought it was…I can't remember the name, Moody was gathering evidence and then the Potters were murdered after the Fidelius charm was put into place. So then everyone thought it had to be Black. No one thought you were the spy, other than Black and he's a fucking idiot." Remus nuzzled against Cassius's neck, breathing in his mate's comforting scent. Cassius grasped Remus's chin and forced Remus to look at him. Cassius's green eyes gazed at Remus intently. "You wouldn't do something like that, Remus. I know you wouldn't. I never would have thought you were the spy."

Remus felt a warmth fill him at Cassius's words. He kissed Cassius and tightened his arms around his mate. "That's why I love you, because you know me."

"Oh, Remus." Cassius whispered as his hot hands slipped under Remus' shirt pulling him even closer. "I love you, too. I'm sorry that I got mad, it's just…I can't compete with Sirius, not if you want him."

"There's no competition." Remus kissed Cassius's jaw. "You're the one that I want." Cassius's arms pulled Remus closer. "Can we go to bed now?"

"Remus, Merlin, if you're tired, you should have said." Cassius looked concerned. "Are you cold? Did you get enough to eat?"

"I'm not tired…well, I am a little, and I am cold because you made it freezing in here, and yes, I got enough to eat. But I don't want to sleep."

"You had a really rough transformation last night." Cassius stood up and started for the stairs with Remus still in his arms. "And then I just had to get you upset. Sweetheart, I'm sorry."

"Cass, please?" Remus's fingers sought out the bite mark. "I don't want to sleep."

"You need to sleep, you should have gone right to bed when you got home." Cassius shivered but set Remus down on the bed and moved away to open Remus's trunk.

"All right, who are you and what have you done with my husband?"

"What?" Cassius straightened up, holding Remus's pajamas in his hand.

"You don't need to show me what a wonderful mate you are, I know." Remus pulled his shirt off.

"Well, I just wanted to remind you how good you have it here." Cassius gave a rueful smile. "So you wouldn't think about leaving me anymore."

"I never thought about leaving you." Remus said simply. He pulled off his shoes and started unbuttoning his pants. "But you could still remind me how good I have it in bed."

"You're sure you're not too tired?" Cassius moved closer, pulling off his own clothes.

"I'll manage to stay awake." Remus smiled as he pulled Cassius down on top of him. Cassius treated him like he was made of spun glass, tenderly stroking over his skin with feather-light touches, joining them together gently. Remus clung to his shoulders as the waves of pleasure washed over him. Afterwards, Cassius rolled over and lay next to Remus.

"Snuggle." Remus demanded weakly, he couldn't find the strength to move closer to Cassius. "Please."

"You were tired, I knew it." Cassius pulled Remus to him, entwining their limbs together.

"You were right." Remus sighed contentedly, breathing in his mate's scent.

"Tell me again why you love me." Cassius swirled his tongue around Remus's ear. "Please?"

"Because you're charming, and smart, and brave, and loving. Because you believe in me. Because when I touch you, the world is a better place. Because I'm the best person I can be when I'm with you." Remus slid his hand up Cassius' chest, pulling on the ring, "I gave you my ring." Remus slid his hand up to Cassius' neck, fingers seeking out the bite mark. "I marked you as mine. Nothing and no one is ever going to change that." Remus leaned up and captured Cassius' mouth in a soft kiss. They fell asleep, tangled in each other's arms.

"What's this?" Remus looked at Cassius curiously as he picked up the folded piece of paper Cassius had just placed in front of him.

"Just something I wrote for you." Cassius swiped a piece of toast from Remus's plate. "I'm going outside, have to weed the garden."

"You don't want breakfast?" Remus called after him as Cassius quickly walked out of the kitchen. There was no answer. He unfolded the paper. Cassius's scrawling writing filled the page.

Reasons why I love you

you are my best friend

you don't care about my scars

you make me feel safe

your heartbeat is my favorite song

because sometimes I forget to breath when you kiss me

you have freckles on your hip that look like Orion's Belt

you laugh at my jokes, even when they're not funny

sometimes you snort when you laugh

you don't care when I take food from your plate

your eyes have really small flecks of green right around the pupil

you're really great in bed, and on the desk, and on the floor, and in the shower and anywhere else I might have forgotten to mention

you believe in me

because you feel like home

Author's Notes: I wrote and rewrote and polished and refined this chapter for MONTHS (Honestly, I think I started writing this in April). I think it's one of my favorites in this story. I hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think!!!

To my mind, the ultimate hurt and betrayal to Remus is Sirius's thinking that Remus was the spy. Remus tried so hard to be accepted by his friends and then to have Sirius think he was capable of being the spy would have been shattering. In my story, Remus only thought Sirius was the spy after James and Lily were killed when it appeared that it HAD to have been Sirius because of the Fidelius Charm. Thoughts?

Thanks to the reviewers for Chapter 33: MoonyPadfootJr, Gil-Caleb (I'll email you in reply to all your reviews! LOVED them!), Mon2 (I will endeavor to include more Snape in the future chapters when possible), Padfoot, and Drastic Diner (the tattoo is rather made up, I found a wolf like design but it's not quite how I picture it, so it probably doesn't really exist, which is too bad!)

Also, the next chapter is ready to go - it's a little interlude about Owen because he demanded more screen-time. :-) So...shall we say...six review and then Chapter 35 will be posted! :-) (Rubs hands in anticipation of all the wonderful reviews!!)