Disclaimer I don't own Teen Titans. The things I truly own are what is my own flesh and blood. The things that no one can take away from me. Even this story isn't mine...it is my thought's story. v Sorry. Just a little poetic lines before the story...
A/N Hope you enjoy this. This didn't take as long as the other chapters, really...I don't think... ;; Oh well. I really like this...kind of. At least the beginning.
Chapter 11 - Overreacting
Did he mean that? Did Beast Boy really mean what he just said? I don't know what he really meant, but it sounded like he thought I couldn't control myself enough to leave the tower. That all of the Titans were searching the city because my anger had been rising...because they didn't trust me. Beast Boy had thought that, based on previous incidents, I would destroy the city. I know that there's some sense to that, but I would kill myself before letting anything happen to the city that I strive so hard to protect. He should know that...Of course, he's just trying to protect the city, too. Whether it be an enemy or ally, he works to protect the city as much as I do.
Looking away from him, I bit lightly to my bottom lip. "How can you say that?..."
"How can I say what?" Beast Boy had such an innocent look on his face, it looked almost real.
I continued to focus my gaze on something else. "Those two words could hold infinite meanings, but based upon previous events, and your attitude towards me, I doubt that it was good..." I have to stay calm. For the sake of my being, I must stay calm. "Beast Boy...I know you have good intentions, but I really think that you should think about what you say."
"Dude, Raven..." Beast Boy stepped forward, as I turned away, and put his hand on my shoulder.
Something about the way that he did it made me wonder if I had made a mistake. The energy from his hand, and the gentle placement was all it took to think that. Beast Boy could have held tighter to my shoulder, keeping me there to talk, but he had an intentionally loose grip to it. He was giving me space if I wanted it, but was giving me the option to talk...So why did I walk away from such acceptance?
Perhaps the others wouldn't be so forgiving.
"I'll be...somewhere." I walked to the door. "If you really need me, I'll have my communicator on, this time," I added, making sure that there was no mistake about communication, in the future.
Beast Boy nodded, and walked to the edge of the roof.
Then, suddenly, I felt a sadness that was not my own. I knew that my powers had not gotten back, so this was not the unnatural empathy that I usually could feel. Was this a normal, human, empathy? If it is, it feels so much better. Though it is sadness I now feel, it is much less than what my powers would make.
I was still wet, and dirty, and I wanted some privacy. The best place to fix all of that is in the shower. Like the rain, a shower can wash away your day, and your stress...most of the time, anyway. It's very much like the rain, in that sense. Not just because they're both water, but because they can be calming, or vicious.
As I let the warm sheets of water roll over me, I could feel my physical strength coming to. I was too blank to do anything but stand there. Then I thought about whether or not I could let go in my room. Even with my powers gone, I could certainly try. I needed something to cheer me up, so to speak.
After another ten minutes in the shower, I dried off and draped my cloak on my head, as I had done so many times before.
Though I was quite relieved from the shower, I felt uneasy. There was an awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me that I should do something, as I walked to my room.
My room was just as I had left it. From the few days of cleaning that I did, it seemed to sparkle. In a dark sort of way, though, if that's possible. All of my lights were out, so I had to feel my way to the window. Once I lifted the shade, though, the natural light flooded my room with all of its pureness.
I lifted my arms out to my sides and tried to let the emotions roll off of my body. With my current lack of powers, it was not possible to show my emotions through mind. All that did was give me a little energy, in a way. It made me mad. Every time I thought about hitting something across the room, I started to grit my teeth together, holding back. But there is no other way to let my emotion out...There's really nothing that I can do.
"Am I the only one like this? Am I the only one that seems to be overcome with mind?"
'What?...You really think that? There's always going to be someone else that's in pain. You're just overreacting.'
"I can't be...I CAN'T be overreacting! It certainly doesn't feel like this is nothing!"
'That doesn't mean that you're not!'
"True..." I thought about it for a minute. "So my emotions are nothing? All of this is happening to someone else?"
'Well...Not necessarily.'
"But that's what you mean...That I'm a complete drama queen and need to get a reality check. That everything that happens to me is just another part of life. That nothing about this tragedy is real?..."
Furrowing my eyebrows, I gently massaged them, rubbing between my eyes. This was just too much. I KNOW that I'm not overreacting...I can't be. This feels so horrible...And the way that Beast Boy was acting...I can't be imagining it all!
I brushed away a strand of hair that was sticking to my face, from the shower. As I walked to the lump of sheets that lay on my bed, I let my knees collapse, and my body fell to the mass of cloth. It felt so great...The cloth was cool, and it felt good against me skin. It made me feel a tad bit better, but looking at the whole picture, it was depressing scene.
I'll never know if I'm normal or not. I'll never know if I'm truly the only one going through this, or if anyone is like me. If these rampant emotions of mine will ever be settled.
The thought made me shiver uncontrollably. First my hand, then arms, then a chill went to my back...Creepy.
Grabbing a handful of blanket, I hugged it and closed my eyes. It's not that I wanted to sleep or anything, but I really needed something to comfort me. The rain used to do THAT, but it's gone. I never needed comforting, anyway, before.
Everything was going pretty well, up until, maybe, a week ago...Seems like it was more than a week. Well, I had that nightmare, which adds a day...Why does time do that? It keeps changing for each specific person, lengthening or shortening the person's perception of time. It's not fair...
'But nothing's fair to you...'
"What's that supposed to mean?"
'That's supposed to mean that you're completely negative! It's not a wonder that you're so depressed all the time!"
I rolled off of the bed and stood up, pacing around in a circle. This feels exactly like the night I had my insomnia attack.
A/N Just review and tell me if you liked it. I know that the ending's kind of lame, but tell me what you think is SPECIFICALLY lame, yeah?
A/N Hope you enjoy this. This didn't take as long as the other chapters, really...I don't think... ;; Oh well. I really like this...kind of. At least the beginning.
Chapter 11 - Overreacting
Did he mean that? Did Beast Boy really mean what he just said? I don't know what he really meant, but it sounded like he thought I couldn't control myself enough to leave the tower. That all of the Titans were searching the city because my anger had been rising...because they didn't trust me. Beast Boy had thought that, based on previous incidents, I would destroy the city. I know that there's some sense to that, but I would kill myself before letting anything happen to the city that I strive so hard to protect. He should know that...Of course, he's just trying to protect the city, too. Whether it be an enemy or ally, he works to protect the city as much as I do.
Looking away from him, I bit lightly to my bottom lip. "How can you say that?..."
"How can I say what?" Beast Boy had such an innocent look on his face, it looked almost real.
I continued to focus my gaze on something else. "Those two words could hold infinite meanings, but based upon previous events, and your attitude towards me, I doubt that it was good..." I have to stay calm. For the sake of my being, I must stay calm. "Beast Boy...I know you have good intentions, but I really think that you should think about what you say."
"Dude, Raven..." Beast Boy stepped forward, as I turned away, and put his hand on my shoulder.
Something about the way that he did it made me wonder if I had made a mistake. The energy from his hand, and the gentle placement was all it took to think that. Beast Boy could have held tighter to my shoulder, keeping me there to talk, but he had an intentionally loose grip to it. He was giving me space if I wanted it, but was giving me the option to talk...So why did I walk away from such acceptance?
Perhaps the others wouldn't be so forgiving.
"I'll be...somewhere." I walked to the door. "If you really need me, I'll have my communicator on, this time," I added, making sure that there was no mistake about communication, in the future.
Beast Boy nodded, and walked to the edge of the roof.
Then, suddenly, I felt a sadness that was not my own. I knew that my powers had not gotten back, so this was not the unnatural empathy that I usually could feel. Was this a normal, human, empathy? If it is, it feels so much better. Though it is sadness I now feel, it is much less than what my powers would make.
I was still wet, and dirty, and I wanted some privacy. The best place to fix all of that is in the shower. Like the rain, a shower can wash away your day, and your stress...most of the time, anyway. It's very much like the rain, in that sense. Not just because they're both water, but because they can be calming, or vicious.
As I let the warm sheets of water roll over me, I could feel my physical strength coming to. I was too blank to do anything but stand there. Then I thought about whether or not I could let go in my room. Even with my powers gone, I could certainly try. I needed something to cheer me up, so to speak.
After another ten minutes in the shower, I dried off and draped my cloak on my head, as I had done so many times before.
Though I was quite relieved from the shower, I felt uneasy. There was an awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me that I should do something, as I walked to my room.
My room was just as I had left it. From the few days of cleaning that I did, it seemed to sparkle. In a dark sort of way, though, if that's possible. All of my lights were out, so I had to feel my way to the window. Once I lifted the shade, though, the natural light flooded my room with all of its pureness.
I lifted my arms out to my sides and tried to let the emotions roll off of my body. With my current lack of powers, it was not possible to show my emotions through mind. All that did was give me a little energy, in a way. It made me mad. Every time I thought about hitting something across the room, I started to grit my teeth together, holding back. But there is no other way to let my emotion out...There's really nothing that I can do.
"Am I the only one like this? Am I the only one that seems to be overcome with mind?"
'What?...You really think that? There's always going to be someone else that's in pain. You're just overreacting.'
"I can't be...I CAN'T be overreacting! It certainly doesn't feel like this is nothing!"
'That doesn't mean that you're not!'
"True..." I thought about it for a minute. "So my emotions are nothing? All of this is happening to someone else?"
'Well...Not necessarily.'
"But that's what you mean...That I'm a complete drama queen and need to get a reality check. That everything that happens to me is just another part of life. That nothing about this tragedy is real?..."
Furrowing my eyebrows, I gently massaged them, rubbing between my eyes. This was just too much. I KNOW that I'm not overreacting...I can't be. This feels so horrible...And the way that Beast Boy was acting...I can't be imagining it all!
I brushed away a strand of hair that was sticking to my face, from the shower. As I walked to the lump of sheets that lay on my bed, I let my knees collapse, and my body fell to the mass of cloth. It felt so great...The cloth was cool, and it felt good against me skin. It made me feel a tad bit better, but looking at the whole picture, it was depressing scene.
I'll never know if I'm normal or not. I'll never know if I'm truly the only one going through this, or if anyone is like me. If these rampant emotions of mine will ever be settled.
The thought made me shiver uncontrollably. First my hand, then arms, then a chill went to my back...Creepy.
Grabbing a handful of blanket, I hugged it and closed my eyes. It's not that I wanted to sleep or anything, but I really needed something to comfort me. The rain used to do THAT, but it's gone. I never needed comforting, anyway, before.
Everything was going pretty well, up until, maybe, a week ago...Seems like it was more than a week. Well, I had that nightmare, which adds a day...Why does time do that? It keeps changing for each specific person, lengthening or shortening the person's perception of time. It's not fair...
'But nothing's fair to you...'
"What's that supposed to mean?"
'That's supposed to mean that you're completely negative! It's not a wonder that you're so depressed all the time!"
I rolled off of the bed and stood up, pacing around in a circle. This feels exactly like the night I had my insomnia attack.
A/N Just review and tell me if you liked it. I know that the ending's kind of lame, but tell me what you think is SPECIFICALLY lame, yeah?