When She Was
Diary entry #4
April 15, 1997
Sunnydale CA
Dear Diary,
I didn't lose my virginity. That's the big headline for today. Ok, it's
not like I was planning on losing it. I'm not a big slut or anything.
But I'd been hanging out with Angel a lot more and...we got close. I
have never felt this way about anyone before. Kissing him was so
amazing. Time like totally stopped and everything. Oh, yes, I kissed
him. And he had his hands on me...oh, no, not THERE, just, you know, ON
ME.
Ok, I'll start from the beginning.
There were these
3. Three vampires. That's like Three with a capital 'T'. They were sent
to me by the Master, who, I have to say is the creepiest vampire EVER,
and I haven't even seen him! He's like stuck in the Hellmouth and can't
get out. Don't ask me why, it's some kind of mystical vortex thingy.
ANYWAY, so The Master (who, by the way, really needs a scarier and less
egotistical name, maybe like...Cujo or something) sent The Three to
kill me. I had to save Angel from them (or so I thought) and we ran
away. And then I found out that The Three offered up their unlives to
the Master if they couldn't kill me! How lame is that? Easiest. Slay.
Ever.
So I was nursing Angel's wounds (ok, it wasn't as hot as
it sounds) and patching him up and I let him spend the night on my
floor. And oh my god, he was so nice. He asked to sleep on my floor. He
didn't even try to touch me or anything. Sigh.
So the next day
after school he was still there. We were talking and I thought he read
you. I was like, "You read my diary! I wasn't talking about you, I was
talking about a foreign exchange student!" And it turns out he hadn't
read my diary at all like I thought, my mom had just moved it. How
embarrassing! Buffy opens mouth, inserts foot. I probably sounded so
pathetic.
But I guess Angel didn't care, because after that we
were talking more and things got intense. Angel has these eyes that can
look right through you. When he looks at me like that, I just melt. I
was melty Buffy all over the place.
And then he kissed me. And the world just. Stopped.
I can't even describe how it felt. It was like...ok, I kissed a couple
guys before, but they were high school guys. Angel is...he's a man. And
he doesn't NEED things like high school guys do, if you know what I
mean. Boys are like, needy and horny and blechy. Angel is older and
wiser and he has all that contained, but when it's suddenly all
surfacy...WOW.
Wow. I can't even say anything other than wow.
Words just kind of ruin stuff anyway. I have this feeling...it's like
I'm flying. I'm not even me, I'm like another Buffy...or maybe I'm not
even Buffy at all, because I've got wings and I'm all floaty and
content and tingly. That's the way it felt kissing Angel. Well, until
he vamped out, which ruined EVERYTHING!
Oh, yes, VAMPED OUT.
Angel's ONE OF THEM! Oh my god, I freaked. I screamed and mom rushed in
but by then Angel had disappeared out my window. He like flew or
something, he was totally gone. Used those super powers of the Evil
Undead and all. Man, and I totally protected him and nursed him and
bandaged him and not to mention INVITED HIM INTO MY HOUSE!
Angel's a vampire. I think I need to check my back for a sign that says
"I LIKE VAMPIRES". I swear I'm sending out signals or something. Maybe
it's like Slayer signals. Like, the same way I can sometimes sense
vampires (ok, yeah, gotta work on that), vampires can sense me. Ok, creepy.
And now I don't know what to do. I think I'm...in love...with...a...
Uh oh, I have to go. Mom just walked in.
B