Frayed Knots

by FountainPenguin

"It's not my problem if you're embarrassed, Anti-Cosmo," H.P. said as I hugged my shoulders. He scratched his chin. "Hm. I suppose there's no help for it. If you honestly and truly want to wear a hat, then you'll have to secure a high position of power so no one ever dares to say anything about it that's negative in the least." (Written August 2016 - Ongoing)

31. Between

(Posted November 11th, 2022)

A/N - Hi, Creature-Crossing stole my heart for one million years but yes I still exist. Needed some time to write OC stories, particularly storylines that let me traumatize or kill my characters in a way I can't exactly do in backstory 'fics, among other things. I have a job as an editor now and that definitely keeps me busy.

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Timeline Note - Anti-Cosmo is a few years shy of 160,000 in this chapter. Cosmo's mental state is "14 on the verge of 15" and Anti-Cosmo's is around 17 because Anti-Fairies develop faster- see also, Foop being able to speak from the moment he was born. Wanda and Blonda are about 172,000 and Juandissimo is about 175,000 (which means he's graduated high school and taking a short break but will soon pursue further education: in his case, the Fairy Academy).

Anti-Cosmo is 100% viewed as a legal adult in Anti-Fairy society, but Cosmo needs to age 40,000 more years before he hits 200,000 and becomes a legal adult in Fairy society. It would, however, be legal for Cosmo to get married at this age as long as he had Mama Cosma's permission because he has his adult wings (as of "Trails Mix")... the aging system of our semi-immortal friends is based on maturity, self-perception, and on gaining your adult wings and you shouldn't take the comparison to human maturity level too literally. Also noting that at this time, H.P. is up to 66 pixie offspring.

If anyone is curious, this does mean that Anti-Cosmo is 10k years older than Foop was in "Watch and Learn" and "Temptation" from the 130 Prompts - which also means he's exactly the age of Poof and Foop/Hiccup when they attended Goldie's ambassador coronation in "All I Ever Wanted" - so if you were interested in seeing how father and son compare mentally at this age, consider giving those a read. I'd also like to clarify that Wanda and Blonda have been in high school since they were 130,000. Anti-Cosmo temporarily attended Shiverwings Fairy High but dropped out to pursue bachelor colony life at age 150,000, meaning he is 10,000 years behind where he would be if he had stayed in class.

All caught up? On with the story!

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Between

In which Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Saffron dine and shower with Juandissimo, Wanda, and Blonda, and we are introduced to Anti-Blade in the Summer of the Scattered Whispers

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So, um. Juandissimo. Aha, yes, let's talk about him. You see, I fear I may have been misleading before when I've described him as a friend and when I stole his eggs from the Eros Nest in the hopes of fertilising a child with Ilisa's sperm. It's not what you think, I swear it! If I were to express my opinion of our relationship, it would be completely tamsõsita between us, of course. As Mona and I glided on the heels of him, Wanda, and Wendy (or "Blonda" as she had claimed her title as now), I ensured we kept at a completely respectful distance above and behind all three of the fairies. It's our place! Not because it gave me the best view of all three sets of wings and clenched, ahem… rear cheeks… It was enough to make anyone tongue the inside of their mouth to hold in a whistle.

I'm guiltless for these thoughts, at least. I'm still recovering from my imprisonment in the Eros Nest. I was practically feral in there! They can't lock me up for ages and then blame me for the effects it had on my mind!

Wanda led our flight slant-wise against the wind, naturally dominant with her wings strong and pumping, with Juandissimo above to her starboard flank. Blonda flittered on her left side, regularly peeking over her shoulder to see if Mona and I were keeping up. I sort of liked the way she smirked and giggled. And although he didn't look back half as often as she did, Juandissimo checked on us too… I appreciated that, although I wish he hadn't seen the moment a few stray leaves whipped across my face and one caught on my fang. Mona zipped forward and tugged it loose for me, but he still saw me sputter and flail. Oh, the shame of it… He chuckled, keeping good pace with Wanda while we flew above. His lover stretched back her hand and he linked his fingers between hers. How very sweet they were.

Which brings me back to my main point. Juandissimo, it seemed these days, had sort of… lain claim to Wanda Prime. As in, exclusively. By which I mean that although they had not yet initiated the Year of Promise as far as I could tell by the lack of aprons on their bodies and rings on their hands, Juandissimo and Wanda had decided to become a couple while belonging to a subspecies of Fairy who mate entirely for life. So, um. Well. I suppose that's how the honey-locking future would be, then… With Anti-Wanda holding the Seat of Sky on Anti-Bryndin's camarilla, I should never be free from Anti-Juandissimo and his kleptomania. Ooh, did you know that right up until I tossed it aside in the Eros Nest, that lout still swiped my betrothal ring every time our paths intersected? Simply outrageous.

Oh, dear me… I'm terribly sorry. Goodness knows I should clarify something else right about now, wot?

Look here: this acknowledgement of Wanda and Juandissimo's relationship is nothing but mere observation on my part and I suggest you don't read into it. And whether or not Wanda even knew he was a luz mala, I hadn't the foggiest. Perhaps it didn't matter to her? I don't know if that's possible; the identity of luz malas has always mattered to everyone else. Hmm… He had her soul in his hand either way.

Wanda and Juandissimo are in love.

They were partners. Mates for life. Taken. Off the market. I tried to drill this seemingly insignificant fact into my head the whole skim we made to the restaurant where we'd be having lunch, but even with Mona at my side, I found it strangely… difficult to keep my eyes entirely innocent when I floated in the back of the group. I think perhaps it had to do with Wanda's sparkling wings flittering just before me. Each fluid motion of her fingers dancing up Juandissimo's muscled back only reminded me of the sudden swell of attraction I'd felt for her back at Maplefeather Point, when I saw her bare, un-blue body in the bathing pool doorway… and more importantly, those shimmering, translucent, rainbow, incredibly captivating fairy wings…

There's something so delicate about her… Yet something clumsy at the same time. I mean, compared to her sister, you see, her wing motions were undeniably more jerky, more jagged. Wanda was imperfect. I found that interesting and couldn't help both admire and respect Juandissimo's ability to win himself a damsel since leaving the Eros Nest. Good for him.

Now is that destiny? I ask you. I could swear their Anti-Fairy counterparts fell in love first… Well, then… I say, old chap- who is whose host now, hm?

As though the sweet reader of my secret thoughts, Mona coughed beside me. I sighed and stuffed my hands into my armpits, flying quickly to keep up with our fairy escorts as we soared farther and farther away from the main Carl Poofypants campus. I don't know precisely why the sigh came out, but it did, and I tried not to look at anyone around me. But Mona shifted her wings a little closer to mine, and my face scalded with an iceburn. You see, my fantasies were intended to be nothing more than that - mere fantasies - and would remain such for the rest of our lives. Juandissimo had Wanda. And… and because of this, through him, Anti-Juandissimo would likely end up Anti-Wanda's honey-lock partner someday. While they had neither rings nor promise aprons, perhaps they'd even mated already; it would certainly explain why the Eros Nest had never fought to bring his counterpart back (There were only so many times they wished to rebuild broken walls and damaged doors, for nothing ever survives contact with an Anti-Fairy under honey-lock spell).

Hmph. If they're in love, there will be no living with them now. I imagine even the Triplets at the Eros Nest couldn't stand Juandissimo's lovey-dovey pining any longer and that's why they sent him away from work.

"Mi amigo," Juandissimo said suddenly, dropping back and higher in the flight path to take his place on my right side. My wings jumped. I snapped up my head, no longer staring at the puffy clouds and shiny white buildings passing below us. Juandissimo's wings glittered like the crystals and gemstones we used for light sources along Luna's Landing's roads, and his violet eyes shimmered in the same way… not to mention with concern. He… he was looking at me. Automatically, I averted my gaze. He never used to make eye contact when we worked together in the Eros Nest. Perhaps leaving Cupid's family had really changed him. Then, to my alarm, Juandissimo reached towards my chin with a steady finger, black brows bunching like caterpillars. "Are you well, señor? I can sense the uneasiness rushing like a whirlpool inside a hurricane there in your tender heart."

"Ah… um… Y-yes. I'm fine, darling." I flapped my hand, forcing him to withdraw his own. "Ha, yes, quite all right… N-nothing to see here, believe you me. It's just a windy day."

Mona, on my left, shot me a look of concern. I nodded slightly back at her, biting my lower lip.

Content with this explanation, Juandissimo dove back to take his place at Wanda's heel. Strangely, "Blonda" was far more difficult to keep my eyes off than even her twin, and that's saying something. Naturally the forward, commanding Wanda drew my eye, seeing as I am still… erm… somewhat counting myself the vlakrina of her counterpart (or at least if she accepted me then I would be), but regardless of all that, Blonda almost seemed determined to direct my attention towards her instead. Roughly. Aggressively, like sanded wood. I hardly knew what to say to any of it- but particularly not when, after Juandissimo returned, she left her sister's side and flew up to wedge herself beside me.

"It's sooo good to see you, Anti-Cosmo! I always hoped I'd have the chance to room with Anti-Fairies, but alas… it simply wasn't meant to be this year." Swooping around to my other side, putting Mona between us, she added, "I'm studying Anti-Fairies, you know… and when my sister goes abroad for her godparent internship, I'll be applying for the chance to study abroad in Anti-Fairy World. There's so much I want to see out there so I can learn how the other half truly lives." Clasping her wand, she added in a dramatic gush, "Everyone always says the Anti-Fairies have it easier than we do, that they simply fly around throwing hexes and bad luck all over the place, but I believe there's more to Anti-Fairy life under the surface. I'd love to switch places for a few seasons to see it for myself. It really is such a delight to make your acquaintance today. I do hope we become good friends during our schooling together here at Carl Poofypants High."

"Study abroad?" I repeated. We did technically have a schooling program under the name Anti-Fairy Academy, but it was more of a… take-home, 'study on your own, show up on occasion and turn in your deliverables to earn research credit' type of program. Really nothing at all like the enormous school building the Fairies had in their classy college town of Prudoc. Hm. Even if Blonda received position from the Keepers to travel abroad, did she have a solid study plan in mind? "I say… That isn't a dream you hear bragged about often around the tea room. Your people allow that?"

"Da Rules allowing my dreams has nothing to do with anything," Blonda replied, and I liked her immediately.

"Well, you ought to live that dream to its fullest, then," I said, flying forward in a spiral. "I left my world to study abroad in Fairy World… I don't see why it can't go the other way. I suppose if opportunity ever arises, I could put in a good word for you with High Count Anti-Bryndin."

"Oh, that would be a dream come true, Anti-Cosmo." Blonda smiled at me with shiny white teeth, then muttered something to herself and tried to fix her hair while we all kept flying forward. The wind didn't help, but she stayed determined nonetheless. I angled our flight a little lower to duck beneath some of the stronger winds, taking us back towards Wanda and Juandissimo. Both the damsels followed. To me, Blonda added, "I'm putting my foot down. Other Fairies don't get to dictate how I live my life. I put up with enough of that under Daddy's hand for thousands of years. From now on, I choose for myself the roles I intend to play."

"Anti-Fairy World has its beauty," I said tactfully. "Frankly, I've always felt Fairy World's aesthetic far outstrips are own, as I have never been turned off by brilliant colours, but I do say that we have quite a range of admirable landmarks in our territory. Perhaps if you do get approved for travel, I could show you around."

Blonda clasped her hands beneath her chin again, sighing loudly with a smile. "Oh, yes… being part of a colony? I'd like that very much, Big Creche Daddy."

"That isn't what I said."

She ignored me. "And I look forward to seeing your traditions firsthand, of course… The tables, the way you pass the food around… It will be magnificent. I can't wait to start packing."

"Ta, mate. Well, I hope your approval passes the Keepers' inspection and you have a wonderful time."

Wanda glanced back at us then and said a word to Juandissimo. He nodded and took the front point of our V formation, allowing Wanda to coast back to join us. Even so, she positioned herself over Blonda's head rather than beside or under her. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves now," she chided gently. "I'm still not sure Big Daddy will agree to this when he finds out it isn't school sanctioned-"

Hearing this, Blonda rolled her eyes. "They're just Anti-Fairies, sweet and dreadful sister of mine… I think I can handle myself. They wouldn't roughhouse with a lady."

Wanda slightly sniffed, evidently unbothered by the 'dreadful' comment. She kicked the toe of her shoe gently into the back of Blonda's shoulder, then darted forward in a spiral to catch up to Juandissimo again. Blonda pulled her eyelid in her twin's direction and stuck out her tongue, but didn't quicken her pace. Instead, she looked expectantly at me and Mona as though waiting for us to take the conversation's lead.

"We're not…" I hesitated on the rather blunt word ("Strange"), rolling my tongue. Then I sighed. "We're a living people with a thriving culture. I admire your interest, but please… be cautious when you study it. In the papers you write, don't make us out to be the product of superstition and conspiracy."

"I'll do my best," Blonda said, sounding honest. She flicked her pegasustail over her shoulder with one hand. "I think I'd like to write someday. Or maybe act on stage… But whatever I do, I want to embrace the details of genuine Anti-Fairy culture. I refuse to associate myself with subtleties and games any longer."

"I suggest the theatre," I said, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my tone. "You'd be marvellous onstage, I'm sure."

"Yes, that does sound like me," she mused. "And what are you specialising in this aurora?"

"Um," I said, half distracted by her wings almost… uncomfortably close to mine. It made it very difficult to forget that I had charmed her counterpart in the Nest not too long ago. I averted my gaze, briefly puffing my cheeks. "Well. Um… I've devoted my time to art history in the past, but I'm afraid that by high school, there's little left to learn but true mastery of the brush itself; I still need to work on my highlights. I'm, uh…" (Oh, why did she have to stare so intently?) "I'm considering taking on a second study, seeing as I won't have any texts to read if I don't. Perhaps I'll take a feather from your quill and study Fairy culture, hm?"

"Split specialisations?" Blonda shook her head lightly, patting my arm. Her fingers closed around my wrist. I started and pulled, but Blonda flew forward with me, notwithstanding the fact that this left Mona tailing us in surprise. "Dear me. With all that free time, you should join a club. Ooh, I know… Why don't I try out for the stage, and you can paint backdrops for the theatre crew to bring the set to life?"

"I'll, um, look into that."

Blonda, dropping my arm now to clasp her own again, flapped a little higher and turned her attention on Mona then. "Now, I don't believe I've gotten your name. You're an anti-qalupalik, aren't you? Is that why you have those pale pink wings?"

"What?" Mona yanked her hand near her chest in surprise, almost pulling up mid-wingbeat. Then she looked at me with wide eyes… waiting for me to signal her right to speak. Blonda seemed to realise this at exactly the same time. She flicked her glittery pink gaze to me again.

"Oh, yes… Yes of course. Big Creche Daddy, what's your queen's name?"

"Her name's Anti-Saffron. And… It's just Anti-Cosmo. For me. Anti-Lance is campus creche father."

"Yes, the damsels don't speak to Seelie Courters. Is that right? I'm so sorry I forgot."

"Oh, um, well, Anti-Saffron can speak to Juandissimo. He's, um… he's… you know. Wishbirthed."

(Thankfully, the sound of the wind drowned out most of my hesitation… I think.)

"We are here," Juandissimo called up to us, pulling in his wings for a landing at our destination, and I exhaled in soft relief. We all spiralled down together and landed beside him. I studied the name of the restaurant before us, tapping my claw against my chin. Rachel's. Its logo featured what I think was either a fork or a ladle dripping with pasta noodles. Evidently, they specialised in pasta here. Hmm. Not a particular favourite of mine, but it would do; I would be a bad guest if I tried to protest. To be quite frank, this didn't particularly surprise me; both Wanda and Blonda were Fairywinkles, after all, and their family is Lialia in language origin. Wanda and Blonda both fluttered inside, but Juandissimo lay a hand on my shoulder.

"Anti-Cosmo? May I, ah… speak to you in private? Just for one brief moment, please."

What, out here? The streets were empty enough in this part of town that he probably wouldn't even need to lower his voice. I looked over at Mona, then waved her inside. She moved slowly, reluctantly, but did as I asked. Good. I rather liked the way she took orders from me.

Juandissimo placed his other hand on my other shoulder and rotated me around to face him. My ears dipped back. "U-um… Yes? What is it? Speak up…"

Creases formed around his eyes. I almost tried to scoot away, but then he broke into a smile. "I wanted to say thank you, Anti-Cosmo. It is largely thanks to you that I am here at all, outside the Eros Nest. If it is all right, señor, I should like to hug you to express my thanks."

"Me?" My voice left me in a squeak. What did I do now?

He gave a tilt of his head and acknowledged, "And the Head Pixie, well… He did help me too. But you see, he has helped with getting me away from abuse so I might find a better home to stay in. He helped me visit a new school years ago. It is because of this new school that I met the love of my life. But that is in the past now. It is you, Anti-Cosmo… who helped me learn to love myself. Even being a luz mala like I am. And for this, I thank you dearly, mi amigo."

I took a few seconds to process his words, and by that point, Juandissimo was wrapping his arms around me and embracing tight. He didn't cut corners, but really pulled me up against him to make the hug complete. I squeaked. My fingers splayed. My wings clenched up. My cheek pressed against his firm chest… I could feel the sharp curves of his abs beneath his tight-fitting shirt. My face chilled over, but I didn't try to push him away. Wordlessly, I let Juandissimo hold me until he was ready to let go again.

Your body feels just like Anti-Kanin's…

Not that I was going to tell him he reminded me of my ex-lover… So, flushing deep through my ears, I mumbled my thanks and scurried off inside to eat. It was a fantastic meal, I do say. I had Mona to one side of me and Blonda to the other, Wanda and Juandissimo across from me. All smiling, the three Fairies ensuring with their steely gazes that no waiter mistreated Mona and I in their presence… What a first day of school to remember! Mona liked it too, I think. She may have kept quiet, leaning into me and whispering for much of our time, but I think she made a friend in Wanda. I like to think she did, anyway. I spent a lot of that meal gazing at both the twins with my chin on my hand, trying to keep my stuffed-away tail from wagging free as I listened to them talk about their big dreams.

"Sounds exotic," I told Wanda in response to her godparenting ideals - for she and Juandissimo could not have children of their own being the subspecies that they were, so godparenting was to be a replacement for her in order to fill the void of motherhood she so longed for - and to Blonda, "I hope you find that spark you're looking for out there, darling."

So that was I how I formed a friendship with both Wanda and Blonda… However Juandissimo, to my crushing disappointment, wasn't here on campus to stay. When I queried for clarification, he shook his head. "Ah, sadly I only attended Carl Poofypants for one year, on exchange, before I did graduate a few cycles back. I am in trade now mastering the ways of physical therapy and massage, which means I am, how do you say… outside this jurisdiction? But… I will be back to visit on occasion. I am happy to see you all getting along. It gives me hope for our future, no?"

I agree with that.

"Oh!" As we were leaving the building, Wanda stopped flying then, staring down the street with wide eyes. Lashes fluttering. One eyebrow arched. "It is our first day returning to classes. Should we stop at the shower hall? All the ones on campus are sure to be crowded."

"I have no objection to this," Juandissimo said with a shrug. Blonda nodded, then looked at me with a calculating eye.

"Anti-Fairies are welcome too, right? Anti-Cosmo? Anti-Saffron? Do you two want to come along with us?"

"M-me?" I spluttered. I raised my hands, shaking them back and forth. "Oh, I don't know… I mean, yes. Yes, I'd love to spend more time with you, for you've made me feel far more welcomed here than I could have hoped for from my first day, but I would hate to intrude…"

"I want you to come," Blonda said, clasping her hands before her chest. She did that quite a lot and frankly I didn't blame her. Her eyes were wide, glowing bright. Before I could stop her, she added, "I'm studying Anti-Fairies, and I can't stand for their mistreatment in my presence. Those jerks throwing snowballs in your face were mean to you. Come to the baths with us. If they turn you away, I'll make sure they don't make that mistake twice."

I glanced at Mona. "Well… All right. We'll go. That is okay with you, isn't it, Anti-Saffron?"

Mona stared back at me, her mouth a thin line. Eyes almost blank. "Whatever you like, Anti-Cosmo," she said quietly, and bumped her head against my cheek. "I only follow."

"Yes, you are very good at that, hm? You charm me, darling." I linked my fingers with hers and fixed her with a pained smile. She was hesitant in Fairy World. She didn't know this place as well as I did; she hadn't lived here as many years, nor schooled for even a fleck as long. I could understand that.

"Let's go," I said one final time, giving her hand a squeeze. "I say, it would be quite an honour to be trusted with the brush to clean your wings with, if you shan't mind too much." And if our guests willingly stripped down in front of me - in front of everyone - then was I at fault for admiring them? Some people work very hard to build up a nice body, you know. I consider it a compliment. I wish more people would look fondly upon me. I don't mind the peeping eyes. It would be nice to feel wanted, you know what I mean?

When I mentioned the wing brush, Wanda all of a sudden looked hesitant. Juandissimo placed a hand on her shoulder, however, and Blonda jumped forward. "You can clean my wings, Anti-Cosmo, and I'll do yours if you want… But remember! We totally need to be lab partners in class. All year long… All zodiac cycle if you allow it. Do we have a deal?"

I raised both eyebrows. Being Blonda's lab partner couldn't possibly be worse than getting stuck with a random, for even if she turned out to be flighty, at least my core thrummed its wings at the idea of being her first choice of a lab partner. Juandissimo wasn't even in school anymore to lend wing to her sister, and she still favoured me above her twin. It wasn't often that anyone treated me that way, and only a fraction of that time were they a damsel, too.

And Blonda wished to clean my wings? And… (Well, I could hardly think about returning the favour, for thinking of it made me flush and Mona was standing there beside me, you know what I mean?)

In the back of my mind, this was familiar to me. Even Ilisa had needed her soft wings brushed and scrubbed in some way. Fairies were so light that even small amounts of stale magic and dust weighed them down if left to build. Every Fairy town contained a public shower hall or two where anyone could rinse off for free, because keeping clean was crucial in their culture. Most came in pairs or trios and, after washing, settled in the lounge room to examine one another and rub any lingering grime away. Even strangers came together to preen wings like that. Since Ilisa couldn't walk, keeping her wings clear of dust had been essential. She may have washed hers twice a day.

Nonetheless, I retained myself. "Your wings are delicate, darling, and I have claws…"

Blonda struck a fashionable pose to me, beating her wings without flying off someplace. "Fairy wings only stop healing when you hit the senescent stage of the life cycle, darling. I hope you don't think I'm so much as halfway to 800,000 yet. If you nip me, it's a nip. I'm a big girl."

Nip… I don't think Blonda knew quite what that word meant in Anti-Fairy society, and it made my face blush with an icy thrum. I'd never nipped anyone but the Head Pixie before, and that had been an emergency. I think perhaps I'd like to do it again someday, but only in the proper circumstance. Nonetheless I chuckled, lifting my fist to bump it against hers since she held hers out to me. "It's a deal, luv. Sign me up. You don't mind, do you, Anti-Saffron?"

She did not. Washing up went pleasantly, I must say. As soon as we set foot together inside the shower house, I liked it far more than that little place I'd been pushed into when I left the Eros Nest a few months ago. We first entered the lounge, which had been lain with mats or towels for those who had finished bathing to dry off and clean their wings. While the colours were not arranged to karmic perfection, I could tell that more effort had gone into the design than what I'd seen before. My nose, though fairly inexperienced, didn't detect any gynes this time. Pale, thin bodies and wild hair stood out to me (and one drake with skin the colour and smoothness of Earth mud particularly caught my eye with the curve of his jaw and the fall of his delicate hair, I must say), but this time I was more prepared for the sight of them all. I allowed my eyes to flicker briefly, but never stare. Never flinch.

Wanda took the lead as I had come to realise she usually did, propelling herself across the wide room with hands lightly clasped behind her back and wings swishing. She really did have iridescent wings, gently purple and pink and blue with glimmer and glitter… The sight of them stirred in me a deep longing to run my hands along the costas, but I digress.

I wasn't the only one looking about… It seemed to me that Mona and I very quickly became the centre of attention. Relaxed Fairies, stretched out on their mats, rolled themselves slightly to get a better look at our fuzzy blue bodies and swishing wings. While both Wanda and Juandissimo looked a tad uncomfortable with the gazes they attracted, Blonda seemed to revel in it. She practically pranced on air as we approached the front desk. When the fairy behind the counter sized me up, I braced myself for the words I had heard on my last visit to a shower house, and they came as expected:

"Anti-Fairies shower in the back."

Of course.

"He's with me," Blonda said, immediately throwing both arms around my neck (She stood behind me, so I stumbled forward in alarm and nearly bowled over Mona). "My daddy said it's okay."

"Anti-Fairies shower in the back… There's more room back there. For their wings, and the light will be less harsh on their eyes. And their fur won't clog the pipes."

(I did not particularly like the way she spoke to Blonda about this instead of to me.)

"Let me try," Wanda murmured, tapping her sister on the shoulder. To the damsel at the desk, she said, "I'm Wanda Fairywinkle. This is my sister and these are our friends. From school."

The dame didn't look notably impressed, so Wanda and Blonda looked at each other, shrugged, and paid for a bit of soap at the desk. As one, they turned away and linked arms with me and Mona. "What?" I spluttered, and Blonda answered for me.

"Well, let's go then! We all shower in the back today. I've always wanted to see the big pool anyway."

"Wait," the damsel at the desk began to say, but then she caught herself and hushed. Whether it was out of fear of the Fairywinkle family, of Anti-Fairies, or of Juandissimo the luz mala who had practically raised Drake Cupid and the other Eros Triplets, I hadn't the foggiest. She let us go, and those who saw us walk past whispered horrendously about it. I cleared my throat, glancing down at Blonda, who had my arm.

"If… they talk about you in the paper for this, I'm so dreadfully sorry." I wasn't, really, but it felt like it might need to be said.

"I love the paper," Blonda insisted, fluffing her curls with the heel of her hand. "They can gossip or don't; it doesn't hurt me either way. As I heard it, you were accepted into our school to live and study here. So I feel that by that logic, you should be welcome in the shower house too. Lab partners stick up for one another. Daddy always says that building true friendships like family ties is the best way to live."

"You're a cheeky one," I told her, thoroughly amused, and she smiled back at me with batting eyelashes. What a curious damsel Fairy-Wendy was. Blonda, she insisted, her lightly dyed hair a perfect match for the name. She clung airly to my shoulder like she thought me a well-dressed prince instead of an awkwardly out of place student abroad. I think, perhaps… I might have fallen a little bit in love with her that day. She put forth the effort to make herself impossible to ignore or forget.

While we may have been relegated to bathe in the rear of the shower hall, I found the place beautiful to look at. We entered a separate chamber, blocked off from outside eyes. Well-lit with a thrum of magic, however. Shiny black stone bricks lined the bathing pool. I reached out to touch one with my hand. Above us, on the wall, stretched a mural that captured the image of birds flying towards the sunrise above a field of calla lilies. Perhaps not to my precise tastes, but I rather admired the look of it all. And you know… it's a lot less uncomfortable to shed clothing while in the presence of friends. Especially after how many months I spent undressed in the Eros Nest, I suppose.

(Oh, mind your hearts… I ensured I kept to myself in a secluded spot in the corner with Juandissimo, and Blonda and Wanda and Mona had the other side of the pool to themselves. I didn't so much as peep at them more than once.)

After the bath, I did wrap myself in a towel for the sake of modesty, as I was raised a gentledrake (in spite of the norms of Fairy society proclaiming nudity acceptable within the shower house, and in spite of my recent exhibition in the Eros Nest). Wanda knelt beside me on her pretty porcelain knees and showed me, delicately, how to carefully clean a set of four fairy wings. Mine were brushed over with a little less attention, seeing as Anti-Fairy wings are bony and naturally not so much weighed down by grime or dust (notwithstanding our natural aversion to letting stinky magic build up in the first place, for we are a rather clean bathing culture who rinse in the lakes instead of using brushes), but I was all right with that. Wanda and Blonda, as I understood it, were Dusty Jr. Fairywinkle's children. Everyone knows of Dusty "Big Daddy" Fairywinkle and the work he performs to clean stinky magic from the landscape… His daughters knew intuitively the importance of washing up.

"Do you know where your counterpart is attending school?" Wanda asked me curiously, watching as I gently wiped down her sister's wings. I looked up, my forehead creasing.

"Fairy-Cosmo? … No. I never much think of him. I know his hair is green and I know he's among the youngest of the common fairy subspecies in the universe, as it was because of his uncontrollable magic that your subspecies was barred from reproducing temporarily… and me along with him. I presume he has an older brother by the name of Robin."

"Robin," Blonda interjected with a scoff. She tossed her head, fluttering her hair against the brush in my hand. "If you want to sound like a Fairy World local, Anti-Cosmo, then here's a tip: everyone calls him Schnozmo."

"'Schnozmo?'" I didn't get an immediate reply from either of them. I tilted my head. "I've only met my counterpart once, briefly, and he struck me as a lunatic capable of very easily getting us both hurt or killed. I do know I was initially extended the offer of attending Spellementary School in my youth because Fairy-Cosmo would not be able to attend, but I haven't the foggiest what he may be studying or where he is now. I say, why do you ask?"

Wanda's eyes widened just a little. "You… met your counterpart? I don't think I've ever met anyone who has. Besides Juandissimo, of course, but…"

"But he was wished up by a genie and they were born as triplets; yes, I know the whole story. Well… I will admit that I did meet the Fairy-Cosmo once during a quick pass through Faeheim. I'm afraid I didn't have time to stop and have a chat with him, but he seemed like a wild bloke. Although… I did hear he may have loosed a three-headed dragon upon your capital?"

Wanda rolled her eyes, shaking her head lightly in distaste. "What an idiot. A moron like that sounds like nothing but trouble for all of Fairy World. But I will say… he sounds like a lot of fun. I heard he raised that dragon from an egg, sneaking off to see it in secret until it was grown."

Juandissimo, sitting a wingspan away from us in little more than a small towel around his waist, lifted his head. "His magic is uncontrollable. I remember how they often spoke of him at the Eros Nest when I was employed there. He is not the only one to carry a mutation of unstable magic, but he is the most notable for what he did to Fairy World in his Terrible Twos."

"What did he do, exactly?" I asked, trying to flick through my old memories for any indication of my counterpart's activities. I really didn't know much about him. No, I really didn't.

"He put a large bubble around a portion of Fairy World, sealing some of it off and inadvertently… causing those inside to slowly die as they became deprived of magic. He… may have caused the asphyxiation of Queen Shoulath and many other people of the Central Star region… including his own father. The Terrible Twos had him by the throat."

My eyes widened, but I couldn't grasp the words I wanted to speak. Queen Shoulath had been the wife of King Northiae and the mother of Prince Eastkal (who, in her death, was left an only child and would be the end of the royal fairy bloodline if he didn't soon find a ruling partner and produce an heir). More importantly than that, Cosmo killed his own father?

Cosmo killed MY father…

The three fairies around me seemed to realise this at the same time I did. As did Mona. She placed her hand on my upper arm, squeezing gently. Wanda placed a few fingers to her lips. Blonda sat staring at me with her mouth in the shape of a little O. "I'm all right," I told them all, but couldn't ascertain if I was. The news stirred something up inside me that I hadn't anticipated. Our fathers were dead because of my counterpart…

Hhh. These things happen, I suppose.

I shrugged. Wanda sat back, sliding her gaze towards the ceiling. She wiggled her bare toes in my direction. "Well, Cosmo must not be at Carl Poofypants for school… or you wouldn't have been able to apply. Would you? Everyone says that when two counterparts come into contact, the Fairy gets hit by a wave of emotion to kill the Anti-Fairy off. I wouldn't know myself, but if you met Cosmo… Is that true?"

"I think there is exaggeration in all stories," I replied, and that was the end of it. We went back to tidying up and readying ourselves to return to campus for the afternoon. I daresay I enjoyed my day with Juandissimo and the twins and we parted in good spirits. You know, I wish I could say that all my fellow students at Carl Poofypants treated me half as well as they did, but alas… it wasn't meant to be.

Case in point… Luther. Luther had a strut to his skimming wings that made it clear he felt he owned his half of campus and mine too. Possibly because he was going through a rebellious gynehood and felt he had to make a tough name for himself if he wanted at all to be respected. He was 170,000 now and had clearly been in possession of his adult wings for longer than I had, so I suppose it was only understandable. He played sports… Captain position. I didn't know what game. Drakes and damsels alike swooned over him and some of us played a game at trying to identify who our drone peers were based on how they snapped to attention whenever Luther came around. Personally, I didn't see the appeal…

Don't get me wrong now: if he'd ever invited me to preen, I would have been more than a little tempted. Jasmine kept an eye on me and insisted I regularly smear prescription pheromones on my cheeks, and I had to admit that they helped keep my emotions steadier than I'd been in a long time, but an authentic gyne would have been nice, too… Or perhaps the pheromones on my cheeks were the reason why I felt no temptation to stray near Luther. My prescription entitled me to mature donor pheromones. Luther exclusively courted drakes, and without a damsel partner to trigger mature pheromone activation, well… That was his business. It made him a prime target, for half the gynes in school were convinced they could take an 'immature' drake in a fight, but Luther held his own every time. I once asked Blonda if she found it curious to see Luther limit himself to only one gender presentation and whether it offended her in any way - for I had known of no fae to insist on such restriction apart from my encounter with Anti-Fergus when he claimed he and my father had both courted damsels exclusively - but she'd only scoffed at me.

"Fairy drakes are idiots… All they do in high school is drool and fight, luv. Anti-Fairies are so much more intelligent and mature. It's why I want to study abroad. I might actually be able to hear myself think and surround myself with sensible conversation."

In truth, I didn't mind not feeling any need to pursue Luther, for he wasn't particularly pleasant to be around. He prodded at me for being an Anti-Fairy and didn't seem inclined to back off when I pointed out to him that he could learn a thing or two from studying his copy of Da Rules, which outlined all the reasons I had permission to attend this school under my circumstances. He never bullied me with physical injury the way he challenged some of our fellow students, but I didn't care for him and I think it upset him a great deal.

Case in second point… Coleen Fernfire and Richter of a surname unforgettable. Now, if you recognize the Fernfire name, it should come as no surprise. The Fernfires are one of the only three families who have retained their surname down from ancient days, alongside the Whimsifinados and the Sparklefields; we covered this in the 24th chapter of my retelling (The Anti-Coppertalons and the von Strangles are excluded, of course, as their title is only ceremonial). Their family is famous for control over the cloudland mines, and you can be certain that any jewel you've touched has passed through their hands before. Well. Not their hands, for they'd much rather higher everyone else to do the dirty mining work for them, but you get the idea.

I am… not sure where to start in describing Coleen, so I do think it tactful to gently remind the reader that her counterpart - Anti-Coleen, of course - approached me some years earlier at Maplefeather to proclaim to me a soothsayer had examined her karmic weave and labelled her destined to work with me in multiple possible timelines of our future. She does eventually take the seat of Fire on my half of the camarilla court and she is a very dear of friend of mine to this day (and the High Countess and I nearly did betroth her son to ours), but this is all far off as of yet. I also think it would not be spoilers for me to step out of present time and comment on the fact that when my counterpart one day gives birth to Poof, the first fairy baby born in centuries, Coleen and her husband Richter have… the second fairy baby: Whistle. Then they have another, and another, and another… I think you can imagine where this is going.

What is the word I am looking for? Ah, yes. Competitive. They're fiercely competitive stage parents, both of them, and always vying for their every chance to upstage my counterpart and his wife. Cosmo brushes it off with innocent laughter, but I've seen the way he glares at the back of Coleen's head. Yes, he knows her game. Their anti-fairies are far more mild to be around, but I pity the primaries, as I often do. Whistle is a bumbling moron anyway and his counterpart Soren is just an exasperation to have underfoot. I'll say that much.

But that comes thousands of years in the future, of course. We'll step back into the past once more now. Suffice to say that while I become extremely close to both clever Anti-Coleen and charming Anti-Richter in future years, their counterparts are… well. We have the opposite relationship. See, in high school, Richter led the saucerbee team and never went anywhere without his lime green jacket. Coleen practically drooled all over him, but only when no one else seemed to be watching, because when they were, she took charge and had a tendency to order him around. Even the faintest peek of her blonde hair around the corner left me shuddering, for she was a far cry from Blonda… I'll say that much.

Coleen and Richter both roomed down the hall from Anti-Lance, Mona, and myself. One of our early encounters occurred in the hallway, with Richter scoffing as I passed with my books, "What does he need to come here for? Why don't the Anti-Fairies have a quality boarding school system like ours?"

This led Coleen to snicker back.. "Are you serious? A bunch of hormonal adolescents all gathered in dorms with no adult supervision? What do you think would happen?"

The peels of laughter followed me all the way down the hall. Sigh… They rarely bullied me with physical strength, but they were such a nuisance… especially since I think every single person in my half of campus came across those two tangled in one another's arms and sneaking smooches at least twice in our many millennia of education; they were lovesick from the start and frankly they deserve one another. It's no shock to me that they've spawned so many fairy babies in modern times…

I hexed them both on numerous occasions, but only when my wand would cooperate. More and more often these days, it seemed I struggled to draw magic through Cosmo's core. My wand often wilted in my hand, sputtering sparks, and it was really quite an embarrassing thing. Jasmine, thankfully, arrived at school very shortly after I did, and whenever she tailed my heels like the faithful cat sith she was (although she'd grown much larger than she once was, if you recall- she was perhaps the size of a jaguar at this point in time, but not quite the bulk of a moose), I at least could pretend to be respected in my dorm. I suppose I wasn't always in the most pleasant of moods after classes ended for the day, but I don't think Mona took any of my shouts to core. She was very good to me.

Now, I don't mean to imply that Mona had a horrendous time during my years at Carl Poofypants. That isn't the case at all. In fact, on our very first eve on campus, she made a friend herself. A wonderful friend who, erm… W-well, see it for yourself. At the time, I wasn't quite sure what to make of him, aha ha…

My reunion with Anti-Lance proved delightful. He was campus creche father now and held a special room with a balcony for easy arrivals and exits even in a group. Mona and I followed the directions I had been given at the registration desk earlier that first day, and when we landed on the other side of the curtain, Anti-Lance embraced me in a hug like a brother. His black and silver hair had grown out even longer, curling below his ears. He had thicker stripes of blue in it now than I'd ever seen before. I suppose there are some body changes that kick in later even after your initial adulthood ceremony, hm? Such a delight to be reunited with him again, as my original upper school education had begun in Shiverwings Fairy High and not here at Carl Poofypants at all… Just feeling him there with me, his thin but strong body supporting mine, brought a tremor to my throat. I hugged him too, holding very still while he nuzzled my cheek with the scent gland on his head even though all I wanted was to cling to him and whine.

How could I have ever let myself be charmed away by Anti-Kanin? Anti-Kanin may have been a childhood friend, but Anti-Lance… there's no one whose leadership I'd rather submit myself now to than you.

"Oh, Anti-Lance! Your array is beautiful." All I could do for a moment was stare up at the chesberry tree in the centre of our room. The twisting wood was dark and somehow shimmery. Was this one real? You didn't often see authentic, living arrays anymore. I didn't dare ask lest it spoil the magic if he confirmed it otherwise.

"I'm glad you're back, Anti-Cosmo," Anti-Lance told me, loosening the hug. He gestured sideways with a scoop of his arm and wing, so I followed his gaze to see the rest of our room. "I have several others I'd like to introduce you to now that I'm campus creche father. This is Anti-Rosefire. His sister is Anti-Snowflake. They're from a traditional estate nearby; they're under the Wingsnap name."

A traditional estate? I studied the pair curiously; they both waved hesitantly at me from the cushions nearby; they were eating supper. "So you two grew up alongside your fairy and refract counterparts, under the same roof? You hear occasional rumours, but I didn't know there were any traditional estates left in Fairy World in this day and age."

"There are a few of us," Anti-Rosefire said cautiously. He looked down at his food tray, tongue visibly prodding the inside of his cheek. "But traditional estates are very rare… My sister and I were homeschooled alongside our kalkara all our life until now. This is our first time being part of a colony."

"I'm charmed to meet you both," I said, politely bobbing my head. Anti-Lance reached a claw past me, pointing beyond the low supper table and over to a corner desk with a warm red lamp glowing above a hunched-over anti-fairy with twitching wings.

"That's Anti-Jasper. They have a nature spirit entangled in their soul. They don't speak Snobbish well, but your Vatajasa is good, isn't it? Oh, yes… And of course, you remember my brother, Anti-Blade, from when you stayed with my colony the winter after lower school."

"I thought I did," I said in amusement, looking over at him. "And yet it seems I may have misremembered his personality, for he has yet to wag his tongue at me."

Indeed, Anti-Blade hadn't moved from the sofa since the moment Mona and I flew in through the balcony curtain. Several seconds passed in silence after I spoke, for his eyes were locked on only one person in the room. His mouth slightly parted. My ears twitched back a little, but I managed to keep my mouth a straight line and follow his gaze in silence.

Mona.

Fancy that, I thought. He thinks himself fair competition for Mona's affections. Hmph. He could certainly try. Anti-Lance was creche father. I waited with tense muscles, half expecting the younger brother to leap from the sofa and skim over to her, gushing his feelings out then and there, but Anti-Blade seemed to sense us all looking at him. He blinked hard and rerouted his attention to me. His palms splayed against his lap.

"Ben'argenta, Anti-Cosmo. And… you too, dame."

"You're speaking to her out of turn, Anti-Blade," Anti-Lance said, flaring out his wings in steely warning. Anti-Blade chirped an embarrassed noise of dismay and flicked over to him, bumping his head against his chin. Anti-Lance head-butted his cheek, gesturing with his wing for Anti-Blade to move to roost. Once his brother did, he extended his hand to me. "I don't think I know your betrothed personally, Anti-Cosmo."

"Ah, yes. Creche father, this is Anti-Saffron Anti-Feldspar of the Anti-Bentleaf colony. Her mother Anti-Penny is an architect."

Rather than a hug, Anti-Lance extended the more traditional Anti-Fairy greeting to her, offering his hands palm-up, which Mona slipped her own into. To my amusement, she was blushing faintly purple. I ran my tongue along my lips, saying nothing behind a thin smile. The very first time I had ever meant Anti-Lance, back when he went by the name of Noon, he'd introduced himself to me at the Blue Castle's front door. Mona (along with several other dames) had been reduced to fits of giggling. He really was a handsome devil of a drake, very thin and sturdy and scholarly, and evidently Mona's attraction towards him had not faded entirely over the years. Just as well. He was her creche father now and that came with expectations I'd been anxiously wondering if she'd meet.

Once he'd marked her with his scent gland, Anti-Lance gave his body a shake and offered to show us where we could unload our things. I must say, it was a relief to set down the heavy notebooks I'd been travelling with… not to mention Lohai's lamp. Anti-Lance helped me find a sunny spot for her, and I resolved (with a promise!) to pay more attention to her going forward than I'd paid her the last time I put my head down in my schooling. Thanks to our time in the Eros Nest, she was expecting a need litter of candles, after all. I intended to provide her all the support she might need. No longer would these ones perish while my attention flitted off… No more.

When I turned back from arranging her lamp, a sudden jolt shot through my entire body. Anti-Blade had descended from roost, where Anti-Lance had sent him… and was standing curiously a few wing-lengths behind Mona. What were his intentions? Nothing unbefitting of a gentledrake, I should hope? Anti-Lance turned around a mere wingbeat after I did and chirped at him crossly. Startled, Anti-Blade fled back up the chesberry tree array. Anti-Lance folded his arms.

"Stand down, Anti-Blade. I'm creche father and she's mine… It's up to her to decide if she wants to be in rotation after that. Not you."

"I'm off for a moment of privacy," Anti-Blade managed, and flew out of the room in apparent search of a chamber pot or some such thing. His quick wings left all our hair rustling in his wake. Hm. Well, wasn't that curious? Anti-Lance summoned the rest of us to the array with another high-pitched squeak. As I walked in that direction, hands clasped behind my back, I leaned my head to Mona's.

"I daresay he fancies you, darling. Do consider your role in rotation, for you know I'll be asking in a moment… I shan't mind if you don't."

"That was your brother, creche father?" Mona asked, addressing Anti-Lance. My brows shot up, but I didn't stop her; merely shifted aside so Anti-Lance would have a good view of her in full. Anti-Rosefire, Anti-Snowflake, and Anti-Jasper were finishing up, tidying away their things anyway. Anti-Lance glanced back at us with a sigh and ran his claws across his hair. The gesture felt so familiar, so very Anti-Lance, that I couldn't help but give a slight smile because of it.

"I hope Anti-Blade drives you less insane than he drives me," he admitted aloud. "He only serves as my follower because my father insisted." His fists tightened when he said that, lips pressed tight as though biting back his words. I whistled softly and tucked my hands in my trouser pockets.

"Yes, I remember Anti-Blade vividly from those two weeks I visited your colony after Lower School graduation." And I knew their father… Anti-Halberd Anti-Sundive had intimidated me with his raw non-magical power, muscles bulging from a lifetime of digging into mountains with bare hands to rescue victims of accidental cave-ins. Anti-Lance may not have inherited his father's bodily strength, but Anti-Blade certainly had. Hmm.

"Why did your father feel he had to force it?" Mona asked. My wings prickled up; I knew better than anyone how little Anti-Lance enjoyed discussing his family. But to my surprise, he studied her face a moment, one hand leaning on the trunk of the array tree… and then he sighed.

"I'm a disappointment to my father. I always have been since I chose to pursue education from the Fairy schools instead of the Anti-Fairy Academy. He sees me as a sort of fruit growing from a crippled branch. Every lifetime, I intend to sit on the Anti-Fairy Council and I've never managed it. This life, I always thought learning more about the Fairies would give me a better edge, but he believes every year I spend in this place takes me farther and farther from traditional values." Anti-Lance paused then, combing his fingers through his black and silver hair once more. How pretty he was. Not that it was relevant at the time. He grimaced. "He… sort of chased me out when I said I wanted to continue my education here. Then he sent my brother after me. To make me miserable, I suppose… or steal my new colony from under my wings. Anti-Blade might be creche father someday, so I advise you to… I don't know. Consider moving on sooner rather than later if you can't even tolerate him as a mere colonymate?"

"Oh," Mona said quietly. "I'm sorry to hear you've faced hard times, creche father. I have no siblings… so I don't quite understand the feeling, although I offer my sympathies." Her eyes drifted towards the doorway Anti-Blade had flown through. "I think I can learn to like him. His exterior may be rather rugged, but he has a gentle heart. I can sense that even from here."

I placed my hand on Anti-Lance's shoulder and gave two quick pats. "If it's any consolation, darling, I'd choose you as my creche father any day. Your intellect is admirable and your swiftness in the sky is rivalled only by Munn himself." And perhaps by Anti-Wanda who liked to fly loops in front of my favourite library window at Cedarcross, which made it easy to admire her flashing form in the dark, but I didn't say that. Anti-Wanda was very annoying and it would be for the best if I didn't inadvertently suggest to Mona that I liked to watch her. I mean… did watch her. Without liking it.

Though Anti-Lance didn't look at me, he reached back to touch my hand. "Thank you… I appreciate that. I missed your reassurances. It's been a long ten thousand years facing my brother's scorn in every step I take. If he becomes aggressive with either of you, just let me know. I'm still creche father of this colony and I'll make sure he knows it."

Mona hummed in thought, saying nothing else. Together, we spread our wings and situated ourselves among the chesberry branches. You know… I may have overly fallen in with our traditions during my time in the Eros Nest, but it never lost its charm. And there is, well… There's something special about engaging in these things with good friends instead of minor company, you know what I mean? … Not that I knew anyone here besides Anti-Lance and Mona very well. But no one made a fuss about undressing and that, I think, is sometimes all it takes to feel at ease among the unknown.

"Do you still carry my favour on your tongue?" I murmured when Anti-Lance began rubbing his scent gland across my cheeks again. His silky salt and pepper hair was no less pretty with its silver bald spot in the centre, and he move in a way that commanded and not merely informed. Ooh la la… It was enough to faintly unclasp your toes, uncurling them from around the array as you really leaned into the soft presses of his head.

"Of course I do… While we may have been apart for some time, our friendship has not faded in my eyes. Anti-Cosmo, year of the Black Lake, born in the Anti-Coppertalon colony, I welcome you and Anti-Saffron to my roost."

The pleasure is all mine, I signalled in silence, falling expertly into my role. Physical touch was a language I spoke almost more naturally than Snobbish. Maybe even more so, for I should think I lacked an accent in this one. As the visiting drake, proper protocol dictated Anti-Lance give his attention first to me and I return it, but that didn't stop the others from pressing curiously forward to take note of the unspoken words between us. Mona, I noted from the corner of my eye, lingered in the array's higher branches where she ought not to go… but I didn't warn her down, and neither did Anti-Lance. If he even noticed. He did, after all, have his attention occupied with me.

Then at one sudden point of our silent exchange, Anti-Lance caught my lower lip gently between his fangs. Not piercing, but simply waiting for my reaction. What? My stomach coiled itself up until I felt too dizzy to stay upside-down. My wings stilled. He… he wanted to kiss me? My chest and throat fizzed with bubbled nerves. Happy nerves, I like to think. I moved my hands carefully against his sides, trying to clear my head and catch my balance at the same time.

Tükkiht… Cold, awkward, delighted embarrassment flooded across my face. Stage 8 of intimacy was one I had not engaged in often enough for my liking. I'd habituated to Mona's acid and at least partly if not entirely to Anti-Kanin's… I think I might be a little immune to Anti-Wendy's too. Just a bit maybe, in the corners. But Anti-Lance desired that of me? His entire body, cool and relaxed, eyes watchful, indicated that he did. He released my lip and arched his neck. I stretched forward, parting my mouth to initiate the kiss in question…

"Stop," Mona interrupted with a sudden burst of emotion in her tone. I froze. So did Anti-Lance. Mona looked just as shocked as both, but nevertheless she persisted, steadying her words. With a pump of wings, she fled to the opposite side of the array. I looked at Anti-Lance, then pulled myself away and flew after her. I landed on a thin branch in a crouch, upright, with my wings spread for balance. Mona perched at the unsteady tip of it with her ears flat, her eyes wide in the way a damsel gets when she knows she's done something wrong and that she's expected to answer for it. I did not raise my hand against her, however, and merely stared with an upturned chin.

"Yes? Speak up… What's got into your head now, Mona?"

I kept my voice low, and she made a soft pinging noise and rubbed her head against my neck in return. "Mm… I bear boundaries to bar this relationship, Julius. I simply can't sit and stand it. Prepare for the points of my proposal. While you mean to marry me, you can't kiss anyone else."

"What?"

"Don't you think it hurts me?" she asked, pushing her head a little harder below my chin. The force of it nearly knocked me off the narrow branch. Her wings shook… I wasn't sure where to put my hands and if she desired an embrace. "Watching the drake I love take the favour of other drakes so easily, but in a lifetime of betrothal, he's never taken my favour at all?"

Ah. So that was it. "Damsels don't do that," I pointed out. Her frizzy hair stuck to my lips, threatening to invade my mouth, and she whined softly and rubbed her head along my throat again. It baffled me why she couldn't simply keep that mane of hers tame after all these years, really. Pleh. "Taking one's favour is a test of honour and loyalty, stemming from the practice of proving a follower drake will fly alongside his creche father in friendship, not rivalry. Damsels don't need favours. You don't overthrow colonies."

Mona pulled her head back and opened her mouth. No words came out. She closed it again, bringing both fists to her eyes and rubbing deeply. I watched curiously until she dragged them down her cheeks and lay them to rest against our branch. Her wings flapped, barely keeping her weight centred. But she didn't fall.

"What if I were a drake in a past life?" she whispered to me, signalling with flat ears her request for utter privacy. "Perhaps the exchange of favours is a custom I crave to continue now that I'm Anti-Saffron as well."

Privacy, however, may have been faintly out of reach. Behind me, I sensed a soft movement as Anti-Blade leaned his head near Anti-Lance's ear and breathed out, "I'm grateful I'm not Anti-Cosmo."

I waited for Mona to tell me she was joking. She did not, staring still. "Um," I said, a spark fizzling in my brain. "Why, that's what we have wedding bands for. It's a stone upon your hand instead of on your tongue. You know that, darling. You and I are betrothed and fated… and someday we'll be married."

"That's potentially impermanent," Mona argued, tugging up her amauti hood. "I mean to mark you as mine irrevocably."

"But I'm not yours," I said, now puzzled. "You're mine. Perhaps if we were both damsels in this life then I could understand your intentions, but the fact is, I'm a drake. Dames belong to drakes and that's the way it is… and frankly, Mona, I'm not sure I can truly love and marry you if you expect to forbid me from expressing intimacy with those I care for." Her eyes widened when I said that, so I went on, knuckles tight around the branch beneath us. Gesturing behind me with one wing, I added, "I understand that my having a highly deep emotional intimacy with another person would upset you, and ever since you spoke to me of monogamy in the Soil Temple long ago, I've done what I can to respect that. But in asking me to refrain from sociosexual touch, you've overstepped our cultural boundaries. You cannot force your personal will over our shared culture. Where is the line, Mona?"

"I… I understand." Mona closed her eyes, tasting the words on her lips, before opening them again. "How does this decision do? I grant you permission to share the first nine stages of intimacy with anyone you like. But I ask that you don't share naikuta with anyone but me."

I hesitated. Naikuta was the tenth of the thirteen stages of intimacy, achieved by rather deep kisses performed by two parties who wished to thoroughly habituate to one another's acid. Anti-Lance's gesture had been more mild- more of a simple touch, a brief semi-immunity that would wear off in time if not renewed on the regular. Although Anti-Kanin was the only one I'd shared the closeness of naikuta with, I'd rather enjoyed the sensation of lips brushing and the gentle press of a tongue. Understandably, I'd hoped to progress to that level with Anti-Lance someday. If he were willing, perhaps that future day would even be tonight.

"Can I amend that?" I asked, taking up her hands. I ran my thumbs across her knuckles in a simple zig-zag pattern, holding contact with Mona's eyes. "Our culture acknowledges a natural break between the first ten stages of intimacy and the final three, which Anti-Fairy World unanimously recognizes as the three levels of mating: wei-ta, kar-ta, and kiff-ta. Now you must understand, Anti-Lance and I have already surpassed the seventh stage, sõtako, because he has my favour. So what about this? Permit me to engage in naikuta if the circumstances feel right, but I swear on my weave that I shall tell you immediately after the fact of anyone who I've reached such a stage with. That's more than fair, isn't it? Allowing me to form natural relations but consistently keeping you in the loop?" When she didn't immediately respond, I somewhat grimaced and somewhat smiled. I pushed her frizzy hair back behind her shoulder. "Ohh, Mona… I understand your fears and I respect them immensely. I shall not perform the three matings with any other besides yourself. This I swear."

(My kar-ta with the Head Pixie in Faeheim didn't count. That had been an emergency to fend off a three-headed dragon. Besides… Seelie Courters don't see the weave as an intimate part of the soul in the same way we do. They can't see theirs at all, even with fingers crossed behind their backs.)

It was Mona's turn to pause, a soft hum balanced on her teeth. I tilted my ears. "I," she finally said. Her fingers tightened around mine, claws pricking skin. "I don't… know, Julius. So sorry, seriously. I know naikuta is one of the common stages, but when I imagine you carefreely kissing a catch whom you crave… I just grow jealous."

"Jealous? Of my kisses? Mona, darling, I have more than enough to go around." I drew her closer, gently tugging her along the branch until she leaned partway over my lap. Then I brought my nose to hers. "Extending my affections to a third party certainly doesn't diminish the amount of affection I have for you. I am like a teapot filled to the brim, and you are the teacup which has flowed over. I can pour more of myself out for others without stealing a single drop from my sweet love for you." My eyes narrowed then, and I clenched my grip ever so slightly tighter around her wrists. "But to deny me is to let my soothing warmth go to waste, Mona… As though you allow my love spill upon the floor."

"Mm," she said, holding my gaze in turn. She sighed, head drooping. Poofs of hair fell past her cheeks. "All right. You have my blessing to share naikuta with anyone you wish. Drake or damsel. Just tell me when you do."

"Frankly I fail to see why I need a damsel's 'blessing," I said, leaning in to kiss her cheek, "but I love you all the same. What a funny one you are."

She bumped her face to my chest and I sighed into her hair. With her thus quailed, I returned to roost beside Anti-Lance, chirping my apologies and pressing my head against his throat to really get the scent of it in there. He bent his neck and caught my mouth in his own. I relaxed into it. We returned to our exchange… It would take many, many days of regular interaction before we were completely habituated to one another's acid, but taking even that first step leant wings to my soul and they couldn't stop fluttering. I kept one hand over my chest to ensure the leaping feelings inside me didn't wriggle their way out. Anti-Lance sent me back to Anti-Saffron with a nuzzle, and I appealed to her charm and voice in the usual way. Anti-Saffron was very predictable in her movements, you know, and she'd never strayed from them in her life. But to my utter shock…

Tonight was different. I paused, holding her hands in mine.

"Mona," I asked through touch, "are you sure?" Did I read that right? She…?

I think I'll try rotation, she confirmed, and I sucked in a breath I didn't quite need. Mona had… never offered herself in rotation before. Or had things been different in the Anti-Bentleaf colony? My fingers drummed against her sides. But I nodded briskly and, now with my information in hand, kissed her cheek and flew back to report to Anti-Lance. If he held any surprise about Mona's decision, it didn't show on his face, but I couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into her little brain…

You see, when an Anti-Fairy drake turns 150,000, he is chased away from the colony of his birth unless a very particular appeal and grovelling demonstration is made to request an extended stay. When a damsel turns 150,000, she becomes one of the creche father's dames by default until the day she's married; a married damsel is a claimed one and will follow her mate to another colony, whereas an unclaimed damsel traditionally stays behind. The highest dame in every colony is called its queen. Many of our dames back in the Blue Castle colony consider it an honour to roost beside the High Count himself instead of wandering the open skies, for the life of travel is not for everyone and this is their alternative.

Mona had lived briefly in the Blue Castle colony after I left, as I recalled, before transitioning to the Anti-Bentleaf colony of her birth. She could do that, you see, for her mums were there and it was allowed. Perhaps that experience had changed her? If so, the thought delighted me. My Mona, no longer such a prude about emotions and relations? Here, here!

I confirmed this to Anti-Lance in the traditional way. When he and I separated, he called for Mona to approach. I flew to Anti-Blade, who had clearly asserted himself (by his position in the array) as the follower drake. In this manner I made my way around the circle, briefly familiarising myself with each member of the colony, until I had all their names, their studies, and the sound of their beating cores firmly locked in my memory. When I at last skimmed back to Anti-Blade, setting myself there and pausing to comb my claws through my hair, Mona moved away from Anti-Lance and took a position on another branch. Anti-Blade shifted forward with a whine in his throat. Anti-Lance restrained himself from sighing, but I did see his eyes roll back a little in his head.

"Yes, Anti-Blade. You can talk to her now."

Anti-Blade didn't waste any time with that. Leaping forward, he caught Mona's hand in both of his and held it halfway towards his chest. "At last, then… the interaction I've awaited all night. Anti-Saffron, wasn't it? Your white wings are as beautiful as the first silver cobweb in a tree… Haven't I seen you at migration before?"

Hm? I watched her face with careful wariness from my branch, further questioning the drake's intentions with every passing wingbeat. Mona, for her part, managed to portray herself as politely flattered without being overwhelmingly wooed. "I work in the Maplefeather spas," she said, bowing her head. "At Cedarcross, you'll often find me assisting in the soothing services wherever I can. Without water, really. I'm a master of magnificent massage."

"I know you from somewhere else," Anti-Blade insisted, taking up her other hand. It became difficult to ignore his bulging muscles… It became difficult not to wonder how the array branch didn't snap off beneath his ego's weight. "The Seven Festivals. You recite poetry most years, don't you? My brother dragged me out there."

"Anti-Jesse's poems, mostly."

I frowned, rustling my wings into place. What was all this, then? From the way Anti-Blade looked at her with shining eyes, you'd have thought someone just whacked him across the face with one of Drk. Cupid's most potent arrows. "Ah, yes," came his reply. "I make an effort to visit. I love Anti-Jesse's poetry. As a matter of fact, I've loved it for several lifetimes. I'm particularly fond of the hedgehog's dilemma and the one about the badger with the mitten."

Lifetimes?

"Anti-Blade," our creche father cut in, sweeping up his wings. "I'd like to speak with you in open air for a moment. Come skim with me."

"Yes, Father."

Anti-Lance released his claws from the array and dropped into the air. The two of them departed from the balcony and flew away across the night. I watched with my ears quirked forward, wondering what they could possibly be discussing. Had they been in a fight? Did they intend to make a day plan for tomorrow's events? … Surely Anti-Lance couldn't possibly consider replacing his brother with me as his new follower drake?

"Mona?" I questioned softly, but she found herself distracted with Anti-Snowflake and did not answer me.

I didn't have to wait long to find an answer to my burning question. I hung from the end of one of the array branches, using my fangs to carefully preen my wings a bit in the places I'd noticed hadn't been thoroughly scrubbed with a wingbrush, when Anti-Lance swooped back inside with Anti-Blade on his tail. He called for me to join him on the balcony, and when I did, he leapt off it and spiralled through the air over campus. Privacy? We Anti-Fairies were hardly creatures who desired that, but everyone does have their secrets sometimes. I chased after him, wondering what his brother could possibly have said in his ear.

"Anti-Lance?" I asked. I ducked underneath him. I'm a fast flier, you know, and came up neatly on his other side. "Your signals in the energy field are coming off as mildly uneasy. Is something wrong? Did… did I do something wrong?" Was that it? My throat dropped to my stomach. Was I too fast? Did I come off as too lenient, too easy to walk all over? Were our relations in front of the colony all for show and now Anti-Lance intended to pull me aside and show me what he truly thought of me? If that was to be his intent, it wouldn't be good… I could tell that right away.

"We should talk."

Talk? My ears folded back against the sides of my skull. Nonetheless, I kept my wingbeats strong and my chest puffed out while Anti-Lance flew a few circles in the air to gather his bearings. From this height, at least, I had a grand view of the campus grounds. It had been growing quite chilly this time of year in Anti-Fairy World, but Fairy World still had mild temperatures. Carl Poofypants was a small school, but still populated with several more buildings than the ones we'd had back in my Frederick Shinesworth days. At last… real laboratories to experiment in. My claws itched to sink into the material of of our studies in the coming cycle. But those eager hopes died when Anti-Lance skimmed back and positioned himself in front of me, heavy wings flapping hard. My ears went down a little further. He sighed, ruffling my bangs with his own frustration.

"Anti-Cosmo… I don't know how to tell you this, but I have some concerns about your betrothed. May I express my honest thoughts?"

"Of course, creche father. Whatever's on your mind is permitted in my earshot."

Still, he wrung his hands several times before he spoke again. "I think… Anti-Saffron might be lying to you. About being Anti-Jesse and… and maybe even about being your fated match. It's the only explanation I have."

"Wha… Anti-Lance, you must be mistaken!" The cold hair stung my throat, then made an aggressive invasion on my eyes as well. "Anti-Saffron is among the most honest people I've ever met. I assure you that her soul stands true even in troubled times!"

Anti-Lance shook his head. "But if she's really Anti-Jesse, Tarrow wouldn't have let her match with you. Because my brother was born in the Year of the Black Lake. He was there at the Castle the year your betrothal ceremonies took place, and he would have been matched with her. In his last life, he was Anti-Rowan Anti-Thornwings." When I didn't respond immediately, Anti-Lance gestured towards the balcony we'd flown from with his arm. "Anti-Jesse's husband."

"Oh," I said. A brick of ice settled low in my gut. This… did not look good for my long-term plans to marry my love. When our betrothal ceremony began nearly 160,000 years ago, Mona had chased a glowing toad under Sunnie's footbridge, too young and distracted by her interest in animals to focus on a life-deciding event. In my frustration of going unmatched, I'd hurled my own ring aside and then lied to her and stolen a replacement ring from the ceremony box when no one was around. If I'd been honest when I met her and told her I'd been matched with a Sky year, not a Water, she and I both would have gone inside and presented our rings to Anti-Buster. Anti-Buster would have noticed a Sky with a Soil ring who hadn't found his match and a Soil with a Sky ring who hadn't found hers. He'd have paired them up…

Anti-Saffron was always meant to be with Anti-Blade. She knows it. Doesn't she? Maybe not yet, but she will in time. She might feel the pull towards him even now. I'm in trouble…

"I've asked my brother not to say anything," Anti-Lance said, running his claws through his black and silver hair. It still looked frazzled - gods, his EYES looked frazzled - "At least not until we find out if there's been a mistaken identity. It doesn't make sense! We've checked the record books, and although they haven't married or had their pups together in every lifetime for obvious reasons, their bond is too strong to be anything but fate. When they were both there that night, why would Tarrow pair her with you instead of Anti-Blade? I just don't understand it. This goes against everything I know about karma and fate."

I know exactly why.

"What about you?" I asked. It became a struggle to keep my voice light, and I staggered beneath the pressure's weight. "I really don't mean to pry, so please forgive me, but have you always been his brother? I recall you saying once there aren't any Sky years on your mother's side."

"His brother for a dozen lifetimes," he groaned. "Sky years on my father's side have always been few and far between, so I reincarnate any time there is one. And he's always this annoying. Sadly those memories have come through quite clearly from my past lives."

Which meant Anti-Lance had known Mona before… Not only as Anti-Jesse, but perhaps in other lifetimes. My hands moved to my cheeks, pressing in as the world became blurry and thick around me. So his vested interest in her happiness must be great. Greater than his friendship with me?

Would… would Anti-Lance ever trust me again if it came out that I had lied? I swallowed. I'd lost count a long time back, but… my karmic weave might be sewing another knot right about now. When I'd bucked against Tarrow's chosen fate for me, I'd started down a path of my own willing feet, and now that path had become a steep slide I couldn't escape. Not without shattering other relationships in the process.

"Did I make you nervous?" Anti-Lance asked, and I jumped a little. His eyes narrowed in suspicion (I assume that's what it was in place of concern) as he studied my bobbing up and down. "Your wings have picked up speed."

"U-um, Mona has always claimed she's Anti-Jesse," I sai, stumbling over my own words. Icy stress slithered between my scutes, sending the hairs on my scales trembling with the ends of my ears. "Yes, she has. Thank you for your warning, Anti-Lance, but as her lifelong companion, I naturally feel inclined to defend her judgement. Perhaps the error is on your brother's side?"

"Who were you?" he asked, dropping his hand from his hair. "You weren't sure when I saw you last… It's unusual to go this long without a hint of who your reincarnating soul is. If Tarrow feels sure that you're the better choice this life than her own husband, that must be some story."

Who was I? Well… I couldn't come out about the truth for any reason; Ilisa was my secret to guard alone. No one would believe me if I claimed a will o' the wisp had reincarnated as an anti-fairy, even if I did have her journal proving her Zodii beliefs, and even if I did have written evidence that she'd met with Sunnie himself inside his echo chamber. I'd be mocked… humiliated… called unfaithful to the Zodii ways…

But I couldn't very well tell Anti-Lance that I'd lied to Mona. And I couldn't just make up a person who contrasted with what I'd told my old crechemates back at the Blue Castle. So I swallowed.

"I… I don't know his Snobbish name." Buying time, grasping straws, I tucked my fidgety hands behind my back. It didn't do much, but it did seem to aid in my struggle to keep the energy field from rippling at my words. "Just a feeling. A few memories. A sensation that I was once creche father to nineteen or so damsels, that sort of thing…"

Anti-Lance ran his eyes to my feet and up again. Oh. Oh. I might be bobbing up and down in open air high above campus, but his sharp gaze felt like needles pinning me to a tree. I may as well have been splashed with bright red paint.

"Nineteen damsels," he repeated. His voice twinged low with a brush of doubt. His shiny eyes went squinty. "I don't mean to offend, but even my father only has ten or twelve dames at a time. Anti-Bryndin is High Count, but… You really managed nineteen? You?"

"It's a vague memory," I said, ears sinking so low, they may as well be pointing towards the core of the earth. "I could have nineteen if I wanted to… Do you not believe in me?"

"Tell you what." Anti-Lance folded his arms. "School doesn't start for another two weeks. I can't go anywhere without dragging the rest of the colony along, but you, Anti-Saffron, and my brother can fly back to Luna's Landing and take a look in their logs. Between the three of you, I'm sure you can find who you used to be. It would really put my brother's mind at ease… He's restless. He knows she's Anti-Jesse. It's driving him mad to keep his lip buttoned, and it's hardly been two hours since you arrived. If we don't get this sorted out, we'll all be restless over it."

My wings hitched up. "I have a cat sith on her way as we speak." At that time, Jasmine hadn't yet joined me at Poofypants. The ends of my claws bit against my palms; what would she do if she arrived on the scene and found me missing in action? Grasping again at the empty jar that once held straws in my mind, I persisted, "You know, we'll see the Blue Castle colony and the Anti-Fairy Council over winter migration, in Cedarcross. I'll ask them there. Can you and Anti-Blade wait that long? I… think I need time to come to terms with this myself, if I'm frank, for one way or another… this could mean the end of my relationship. It could mean the end of a friendship I've nurtured since I was a few years old. That isn't a decision I want to make overnight, you k now what I mean?"

Anti-Lance studied me with crossed arms. For a long time. An imaginary sweatdrop traced its way behind my ear. Earlier today, while on our flight to the Barrier so Jorgen might greenlight us through to the other side, Mona had asked me if I would consider being wed by Winter Turn. I'd sighed and allowed it, reluctant at the time, but now? Ha… Now, I clung to that idea fiercely with anxiety pumping every trace of magic in my core. After marriage, I had such ideas regarding ways to dodge around the universal laws of the honey-lock. It needed more fine-tuning, it would need intense strategy - not to mention permission from both the Keeper of Da Rules and Eros Morning to lift the ban on Cosmo's own reproduction - but the whole plan was there. I had a concept. I just needed a little more time.

But I couldn't achieve that dream of biological children on my own. I needed a wife. One who believed in me… and if Mona walked out and flew away with Anti-Blade, where did that leave me? Sitting in a pile of scrolls, struggling to explain my plans to the next damsel to give me time of day? I had no other betrothed. I had no close unbetrothed Anti-Fairy damsel friend who would consider such a monumental project with me if it might lead to nowhere or else imprisonment and fines.

Would Anti-Blonda give me a chance? I'd see her at Cedarcross, but I didn't particularly like the idea of trying to woo her away from Dm. Venus and Anti-Binky. Like it or not, Anti-Binky was her creche father and I feared him, and Dm. Venus was her master and I feared her more. Hm. I cast my mind back to the damsels I'd grown up with in the Blue Castle when I was young, but when I counted them on mental fingers, I felt certain that each of them was either betrothed or a beloved of Anti-Bryndin… and I didn't see how I could sway the High Count into sharing his damsels with me. The Blue Castle was not a full rotation colony.

I'm the plain-named, plain-looking second son of a concubine and a kitchen servant. There are days when I don't even like myself, let alone a partner. I'd had Mona all my life and I really didn't know the first thing about charming a dame long-term. Anti-Bryndin had the dames I grew up with, Anti-Blonda was imprisoned, the fruit-eating anti-fairies from the Eros Nest wouldn't know anything about life outside or basic survival, and because I often felt shy at migration, I held no close friendships with damsels from outside colonies. If Mona left me, who else might I find out there who would give me the time of day? Name ONE person!

Anti-Wanda's face popped into my mind then. Slumped-over, hobbling, kleptomaniac Anti-Juandissimo courted her as a partner, but they weren't married… And he hardly treated her well. I still remembered how she'd squirmed with protest when he forced his hands and kisses on her at Cracklewings when I worked there waiting tables. Anti-Wanda may not be pretty (and particularly not after I'd hung around her glittery fairy-winged counterpart all day), but she wasn't precisely the brightest mind in the castle either. There was a great deal about the outside world that she didn't understand. Did that make her unpopular among our fellows in the Blue Castle? Did she have any other friends? She'd always struck me as a dangerous, daring soul, and my plans did sort of call for someone headstrong enough to fight the waves of the honey-lock if we intended to succeed. My eyes squinted. Hmm…

Finally, Anti-Lance grunted in acknowledgment and greenlit my request. I sagged forward in relief. Well, then! Now I had hope. Mona had requested our wedding by Winter Turn, and migration season wouldn't begin until after the ceremony ended. If Mona and I were married, it wouldn't matter if we found records in the books about Anti-Blade and his past. Once the rings and vows were exchanged, she certainly wouldn't leave me for some stranger she'd only met and befriended in the span of a few months. Even if Anti-Blade did know her when she was Anti-Jesse. Ha- surely NOT! After all, Mona was my betrothed. She wouldn't do that to me.

She… she wouldn't. Not when we were this close… I loved her. She wouldn't walk out on me and leave me with no one to turn to besides Anti-Wanda.

… Would she?

Besides the fitful nights I passed questioning Anti-Saffron's intentions (and Anti-Blade's patience), I rather enjoyed those months at school leading up to Winter Turn. Well. Luther, Coleen, and Richter were a pain, but tolerable nonetheless. Anti-Lance never failed to let me know where I stood with him, and our disagreement over how best to handle the situation with Mona's betrothal thankfully didn't seem to impact our relationship to any significant degree. He urged me to take my pheromones even when I didn't want to, ensured I ate and sipped water every day, and offered me comfort when my spirits were down. Lohai's faith in me had splintered due to our separation at the Eros Nest, so I spent time nursing wounds for both of us, not always sure of what to say. When Jasmine arrived, she purred and rubbed her whiskered face all over mine, and that cut down on some of the bullying I faced, I imagine. How I wish I could have taken her along to all my classes, but… Well, with her being the size of a jaguar these days, it wasn't precisely feasible.

Classes at Carl Poofypants High were, ah… quite informative. Dm. Fallenleaf had a particularly passionate view on the Aos Sí of ancient Fairy lore. One day when her lecture was done and our classmates had left, I approached her desk and folded my arms. "Of course," she murmured, "the anti-fairy. Let me guess."

I waited so she could guess. She didn't. Oh. Why do the Seelie always request you give them a moment if they don't plan to actually take it?

Fine. I cleared my throat. "Dame, there's a matter from your lecture I wish to touch upon. In today's lecture, you made the claim that every last Aos Sí split apart into three entities long ago. As I understand it, that's a Daoist belief; they alone are the ones who believe in Daoine forms after death. How, may I ask, do you justify teaching it in a public school, and how do you rectify it with the tales of Evadne and Ione: two lovers who stole the power of the kiff-tie from the gods and fell from grace because of it?"

Dm. Fallenleaf narrowed her eyes. "Evadne and Ione are fictional characters."

"They are not!" I hadn't intended to let my cheeks burn so, but they did. "'Evadne, Ione, of the eve. Struck down to ashes, cinderstone. Offended spirits, and now to roam. No heaven now to hold them back.' The old couplets describe them perfectly. I say, Anti-Fairies stole the power of the kiff-tie from the nature spirits and were cast to the Deep Kingdom because of it. They existed alongside the nature spirits back then. Where do the Aos Sí fit into your pretty picture?"

"We have family trees," came her reply, and she sounded exhausted while my fuming words were barely getting started. She fluttered her wings a little, restless to finish this discussion with me and leave, and I hate that. "The records of the Eroses, Fernfires, Whimsifinados, Sparklefields, and von Strangles are immaculate. All evidence points to there being approximately 112 generations separating us from the Sealing War and the Aos Sí times."

"You can't be serious. The Aos Sí were an ancient race. They existed far further back than 112 generations ago. How could any of us possibly be descended from them? My people know exactly where we came from. My people were born of smoke and took animal forms for generations until we began to mimic the Domestic Fae your kind are descended from." Losing what little remained of my temper then, I flung my arm to the side and spat, "I've experienced the change of hosts firsthand, and recently too, dame! My fur and hair literally changed colours as I borrowed from another's soul. I underwent a shift in my personality. It was only temporary, but it was very real, and I don't see how your splitting theory can possibly explain what hundreds of thousands of Anti-Fairies genuinely experience within their lifetimes. We are not forced to lock to a host from birth… Hosts can change because my kind is adaptable. We were wild spirits made of smoke once until we took the forms of those we grew fond of; it's very real."

Her nose wrinkled like the leaf of her namesake, thoroughly with disgust. "Please don't raise your voice at me. This is uncouth behaviour for our school, and if it continues, it can lead to you being placed on probation or even expelled."

Sigh… It was times like those that I gratefully sought out Mona in the evenings and snuggled up with her on our branch at roost.

I didn't forge any friendships with Seelie Courters outside the Fairywinkle twins during that time at Carl Poofypants, but… as the months passed by, I became all right with that. They were enough. Wanda and I had Secondary Advanced Boudacian Studies together and, as promised, I fondly let Blonda prance me around as her 'super smart lab partner' whenever it came up. She and I had a potions and a hex class together, and she found it enormously amusing when I took away her ability to move and left her kicking on the floor with her hands bound by invisible rope. She wasn't particularly good at catching me off my guard enough to return the favour, even when we were assigned to stalk one another around the school campus and strike when our partner's guard was down, but she put her whole core into the effort. I admired that about her. Blonda was, well… a person you couldn't help but admire. She thought so highly of herself and laughed her frustrations away with a melodious chuckle, and it really was quite something. She picked herself up, dusted herself off, and convinced you that everything she did was of her own will, even tripping over the toes of her own shoe.

"So what was it like growing up?" I asked her once as we elbowed our way through the busy halls to P.E. class. "You know. As a Fairywinkle."

"Hmph," Blonda said, tossing that away. She had her hair in a ponytail that bobbed behind her and a navy blue tracksuit that melded to her body perfectly, if I do say so myself. I really hadn't the foggiest how she did it, but she never failed to be the most eye-catching one in the room… In terms of clothing, anyway. Not even Wanda quite measured up to Blonda's confidence and shine. "It wasn't glamorous; I can tell you that much. Big Daddy works in the trash industry and it's a filthy business."

"You know perfectly well that's not what I meant, darling." I nudged her with my wing. "Identical twins? Life of crime? I'm not daft, darling; I'm well aware that for years in your youth, everyone thought Dusty Jr. Fairywinkle had only one daughter. Then years later it was revealed he had a drone son… but he wasn't a drone. Was he? … He wasn't even a drake. Tell me that."

Blonda glared at me sideways with thoughtful, tired pink eyes. "I'm really liking my theatre class this year," she told me, and reached out to grasp my hand so she could poof us both into the gym. "I think I might go into acting. I've a lifetime of experience and I think I'd find it more than fulfilling. Don't you?"

"Acting sounds wonderful. I can't wait to see you onstage. I promise, I'll attend at least one of every show you perform for. Front row maybe, if I can."

"You would."

"I would, for I know what I am."

As we materialised in the gym, me waving off the puff of dust that accompanied her magic, Blonda smacked my rear cheeks with the flat of her hand. I leapt forward with a yelp, but she only blew me a kiss and pranced out of claw-swiping range.

"Run in front of me so I can see your booty sway. And if you wanted to let your tail loose, I wouldn't tell~"

I rolled my eyes, setting both hands to my hips. It was the pose I tried on her constantly, and it constantly failed to change her ways, but it felt right nonetheless. "Blonda, you are a shameless cheeky tease." But maybe that's why I liked her so much. She didn't fit that stereotype of her subspecies being obsessed with lifetime monogamy and horrendously offended by the idea of remarriage after a loved one dies. Without Anti-Kanin or my cousin Anti-Poof around, she was the only one I could truly gush to about my experiences in Anti-Lance's colony. With Blonda, I never felt like I had to censor myself, for she leaned her chin in her hands and drank my stories up with rapture. Oh, I didn't tell her everything, especially not the parts of my life that were freckled with lies and sabotage, but if ever I needed to vent to a friend about Anti-Rosefire crossing a line by moving too fast with me, Blonda was the one I went to.

It worked incredibly well, actually; she was able to ask me anything over study night (which I with my infallible memory never needed) and I found an outlet for feelings I could confess to no one else. We were an ideal match. Ha! With her born in the year of Sky, I daresay I would have liked to tease that she might be my fated partner, selected for me by Tarrow so long ago. Perhaps losing Mona to Anti-Blade wouldn't be ALL bad…

(I wouldn't; she's a fairy, you know. I wouldn't.)

"Where's Wanda?" I asked her once in autumn when I arrived for our study group only to find that her sister wasn't there. Blonda looked at me in surprise, several texts floating in the air around her. When I pulled her concentration away, they all fell with a flump to the table or the floor.

"Oh…" Blonda shrugged, disappointed, and bent down to retrieve one of the fallen books. "She and Juandissimo have a date in Cornflower City tonight."

Date. The word was still somewhat new in that era, but it did equate to courtship even then. As I waved my wand to unload my bag, I frowned at the table top.

"A date… I suppose I should invite Mona out for one of those. We really don't go out to enjoy our time together like that. It's never been our thing. We cuddle and kiss and study together, and we once raised a rabbit, but we don't go out like perhaps we should. She is a restless creature. Are you seeing anyone, Blonda darling? If you're ever interested, perhaps I could poke around and find the right drake or damsel for you. I know Anti-Fairies have a fierce reputation for trickery, but my offer is genuine and I am very good at eavesdropping without being caught. I can listen in on anyone you point me towards."

(Don't tell the Head Pixie I said I don't get caught, for he'll laugh at me and I shall be ashamed.)

"I'm happy," Blonda said dismissively, and thumped her textbook on the table. Then she folded her hands below her chin in that complete no-nonsense way I could never argue with. "I have you and we talk plenty to fulfil my personal social needs. This study group is a date enough for me. Let's get to work on that write-up for Dm. Fallenleaf. Have you picked a topic yet? I keep shifting back and forth between a few options."

Ah, yes… Dm. Fallenleaf's write-up. Just the thought of it left me wrinkling my nose to hold back a sigh. She'd insisted that our six-page write-up for the season could be on 'any topic we desired' so long as it related to our history unit, but deep down, I had a trickling suspicion this project wouldn't be quite as easy as I hoped. Not only that, but Dm. Fallenleaf made me feel… out of place. She'd told us plainly we were expected to turn in "six pages, handwritten on parchment, and don't be late," and when I'd raised my hand and asked what length our write-up should be if we used a scroll instead of separate parchment squares, everyone had turned their staring eyes on me and Dm. Fallenleaf's irritated response had been, "Normal parchment will be fine." So I'd gone out to buy some 'normal parchment' from the campus store, grumbling the entire time. It's so much harder to levitate multiple sheets of paper instead of one simple scroll, you know what I mean?

"You can write about any topic of your choosing," she'd announced to the class, and I'd snapped to attention at once.

"Any topic?"

"Any topic, provided it connects to our unit on landmarks in Fairy World. You will be graded on the content of your write-up, not the subject material."

I'd sat back, tapping my claws, as she finished up with, "Properly enchant your finished projects to pull up requested cited sources, do your research properly, check your facts, and I'll see you in a few weeks when you turn in your finished works."

Any topic? Truthfully? I did not entirely believe Dm. Fallenleaf would stay true to her word if I came forth with the topic I intended to (seeing as how, earlier this same term, I'd had a particularly foul encounter with a drake who snapped at me for being "inappropriate" when I'd asked if I could sign up for a class on safe kiff-tying) but, well… If she stopped me in my tracks, I intended to call her out on it.

"I'm writing about the Evadne River," I told Blonda, and drew a squiggle mark in the air with my wand. "It courses past the Breath Temple in Godscress and it's named after a brave figure from the tales of Evadne and Ione. Personally, I picked my topic less because I find the landmark intriguing and more because I know a lot about Evadne and I intend to fill my word count goals quite easily. Do you have any favourites?"

"I do like Luna's Landing," Blonda said slowly. She lowered her quill to her first piece of parchment and poked her tongue from one corner of her mouth. "And I've read a non-fiction book about it, so I'm certain I could find it again in the library for my citations. I suppose I could write about both the factual and mythical history of the crater."

My eyes shot to instant slits. "What exactly do you define as 'mythical,' darling?"

"The stuff with Helena the nature spirit dropping the moon."

I leaned my cheek to my hand, saying nothing as Blonda started drawing a thought web for an outline. I suppose even the Fairies we can talk to about everything aren't, well… people we can talk to about everything. Even our peers - our friends - are prone to slipping up and saying something that implies they don't hold our cultural beliefs on equal level to their own. At least I had Jasmine. I left Blonda to her work and turned my attention on my own. My mind wandered back to Dame Artemis and her apparent attempt to scrub Helena's depiction off the wall in Cedarcross during migration years ago. Would she be at Winter Migration again this year? She was (and I'm making air quotes) "Anti-Fergus's niece," after all. Hm. I wondered if she'd be wearing the sun pendant again.

We turned in our write-ups approximately a week before winter break, and the scores were turned back to us within a few days. I floated up to the bulletin board outside our classroom, glittering in satisfaction, only for my core to drop past my shoes when I saw the marks I'd received.

"… One star? My final grade for history class is one star?" What? No. That couldn't be right. No, no…

This couldn't have happened to me. I needed my history grades to stay high if I intended to continue in the art history program. But when I confronted Dm. Fallenleaf, her answer was everything I'd expected:

"You didn't use factual research in your citations."

"Evadne and Ione were real! And even if they weren't, I cited all the sources I obtained the information from. I spent from low-light to bright-star double checking my spells last night!"

Dm. Fallenleaf shook her head, tidying up her desk. "Rhoswen's journal confirms them as mere story. I'm sorry, but this doesn't fit the parameters of the project I assigned, and I had to dock you on the rubric because of that."

"Rhoswen was being metaphorical! Gods-" I pinched my nose with my knuckles. "You Seelie take everything so literally."

"And yet you're the one who interprets 'Let me guess' as an actual request."

"So you failed me," I snapped, wings bristling high. She failed me. I needed those stars, and between this and the poor marks I'd received from gym class (because pole vaulting is not my specialty), I'd need to score extremely high on my Boudacian studies final in order to pull enough stars to stay enrolled without a forced repeat. Repeating the classes would mean taking them again without Wanda or Blonda by my side. Grasping at nothing, I tried, "I did well throughout this entire class, and you failed me because of the choice of topic for my research project? I thought content didn't matter, only technique."

Dm. Fallenleaf sighed at me. Right at my hair, so it fluttered blue against my vision. "You didn't adhere to the instructions of the assignment. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Deacon Wayfinder chose to research the origin of landmark names in both Fairy and Anti-Fairy World, some of which are tied to the very same research I used for my paper. What score did he get?"

"I'm not permitted to reveal that information."

"You're targeting me because I'm an Anti-Fairy," I protested, but that point turned out to be moot. Fine. Fine, then- it was all completely fine. Back at the colony, I buried my face in Jasmine's fur and screeched myself hoarse while she gently licked my ears.

I wasn't the only one suffering, however. Later that evening I found myself consoling Blonda, who didn't have it in her to cry, but who had plenty of energy to lie on the roof of her dorm building and stare into the stars.

"Our assignment was on Fairy World landmarks, not Anti-Fairy World ones," she told me when I questioned what had happened, and suddenly I didn't feel so alone. "Oh," I said. I stretched out beside her, folding my arms behind my head, and let out a gushing sigh.

"I'll take you to Luna's Landing in person someday, darling. You can see the crater for yourself, along with all the rainbow crystals that line our roads and glow like lanterns in the dark. Perhaps we can schedule time during the Seven Festivals. It's a wonderful occasion and it's not out of the question for Seelie Courters to visit, even though it is rather rare. I can put in a good word for you to the High Count and try to land you on the guest list."

Blonda closed her eyes. "Thanks, Anti-Cosmo… I'd like that. So, what? Is that a date?"

A date? What did she mean by that? Nothing literal, I presume… She couldn't. That would be against Da Rules. I'm not sure what part, but surely it must be. A Seelie and an Unseelie… Preposterous. Absurd. In a school setting, anyway… Any one of my professors would whack me on the bum for 'coming on' to their Fairy students, even if Blonda initiated the request.

I didn't call her out on it. She was hurting. "All right, yes. It's a date. When I'm back from migration and my honeymoon, I'll be sure to take you there."

"If I become a famous actress," she murmured next, sounding sleepy, "you won't need to put me on the guest list. Do you remember that first day when the dame in the shower house just ignored me when I told her I was a Fairywinkle, and it was only after my dowdy sister introduced herself that we got any reaction out of her?"

"Oh Blonda, you don't need to share anything that might upset you…"

"No. It's time I stopped hiding it. Well… Up until a little while ago, I used to dress in brown and play the role of being my Daddy's pretend drone. The 'Fairywinkle' part of my name doesn't do me any good right now because there are still so many people who don't believe he really has twin daughters… We hid the truth so long. But someday, 'Blonda' will be famous and everyone will want to add her on guest lists everywhere. When that happens, I'll take you to the Evadne River. Screw the Barrier."

I didn't point out that technically, I could see the Evadne River any time I wanted as long as I had reason to visit the Breath Temple, which I probably would someday if I ever went roaming and contracted gangrene on my feet again. Ah… but what else are friends for? "I daresay I'd like that. It's a date."

So it was.

Then came my Secondary Advanced Boudacian Studies final. Wanda and I scored straight 5 stars, and it was the first time she ever hugged me, and the first time I ever heard her squeal. There was no doubt about it; we'd scored top of the class. The runner-up behind us? 4 stars only. We aced that test. Nay, annihilated it!

"Anti-Fairy probably cheated," someone behind me sneered, but Wanda's ferocious eyeroll told me to ignore them, so I did. I couldn't let my temper get the better of me… No. I had to be better than that. My schooling depended on it. Someday I'd be able to lash out freely, but this wasn't the time.

"I can't say I'm particularly surprised," I told Wanda when she let go of me and we both had stopped jumping up and down. I popped off my monocle and polished it on the hem of my coat. "We passed with flying colours in Advanced Boudacian Studies back at Frederick Shinesworth too. Remind me what you need this class for in your studies?" I knew what she focused on, but wasn't certain whether or not this class might be related.

"I'm on the godparenting track," Wanda said, still flushed and giddy. "I've almost checked all the boxes, but I still need my study abroad assignment with a live godparenting opportunity. I'll be taking that next cycle. What did you need this class for?"

"Art history before I shift my focus to art creation," I said, but hardly heard my own words. "Hold the crystal ball, Wanda luv. Did… you say 'live godparenting opportunity?'"

Wanda as a fairy godparent… You know, I didn't chat with Wanda about her life nearly as often as I spoke to Blonda, which meant I didn't often think about Wanda… but I could see it. Wanda was the motherly sort even at that age: eager to explore and experiment, but focused and cautious when it came time to be. She knew all Da Rules. She knew how to get into just enough trouble to have a bit of adventurous fun without going off the rails. She would make an excellent fairy godmother.

I wonder if I have enough total stars to sign up for that study abroad project too… I took all the wish-granting classes and Da Rules studies too, and I have a flawless memory. Hmm… When I come back to school after winter migration, I'll be a married man. It certainly wouldn't hurt to begin educating myself on how to care for youth before I sire progeny of my own, wot?

I'd have to talk to Jasmine and Lohai about that. Maybe one or both of them would like to come travelling.

But, it turned out… I would not be a married man this winter. The same night I found out about Wanda's godparenting getaway, Anti-Saffron pulled me out on the balcony so we might have a private chat. The nights were getting chillier by the day, even here in Fairy World which we Anti-Fairies had long considered so warm. I rather liked the cold, actually, and I'd rolled my sleeves up past my elbows. It was for that reason that my arms got a bit gritty and scraped as I leaned over the balcony rail, staring without emotion down the street. My mind ticked from one response to the next as Anti-Saffron hovered beside me, but I just couldn't find the words I wanted to say in my response.

"No wedding, then? It's quite all right, luv. Our time will come. Frankly, I think it's wise not to rush it."

"My mind hasn't maintained focus on the materials," she apologised, twisting her soil-brown betrothal ring around and around her finger. "I've… been distracted, Anti-Cosmo. Super sorry. Seriously. I don't know if I can explain the reason why in words."

I knew the reason perfectly well. Leaning even farther forward, I tapped my wand listlessly against my fangs. "Is it… Anti-Blade, perchance? I've seen the way he eyes you up, Mona… and I've seen the way you look at him." She tried to protest, poorly, stuttering, and I turned around, still braced against the bannister. Then I shrugged. "Until we're married, you're not exactly my claimed damsel, Mona. You're in rotation. If you want Anti-Blade, you're welcome to him until you wish to commit to me. Just don't forget that by tradition, I'd be required to challenge Anti-Lance if I intend to take you away from here… and that Anti-Blade can challenge his brother just the same. You have my full blessing to stay unclaimed a few zodiac cycles more if that is your wish, but… I don't know what good my blessing really does for you under Anti-Lance's rule."

Mona hesitated. I read a lot of things in her eyes that night, actually. I suppose… a lot of things made sense to me when I looked at her then. A lot of things that she had warned me about for a long time. Painful things. Reminders. Exhaustion and exasperation… It was not for no reason that Mona had encouraged me before to leave home and lead my own colony. By no accident did she want me for a creche father.

It was daring, the game she played. This winter, she and I would have to sign our names at Cedarcross to confirm ourselves members of Anti-Lance's colony. These months of schooling had been trial periods. Instinct. But after Cedarcross, a tangle of legalities would begin to ensnare our hands. I lifted one brow at her, trying to tell her all this since I, like her, struggled to bring the words to surface to explain. By law, if Anti-Lance chose to chase me from his colony, I would have no right to lead Mona away with me. Not unless we were married. If it came down to it, I had no intention of decking Anti-Lance in a fight - or Anti-Blade for that matter - and I'm certain they both knew that. Would Anti-Lance still let me stay in his colony if he ever discovered that I had lied to Mona about being her betrothed? Would he keep her at bay, sending me off alone? I didn't particularly like considering that question…

If he does kick me out, maybe Blonda would let me stay in her room. I seem to remember her bragging about a spacious closet. There must be somewhere I could roost.

"I'm… not sure what I want, Julius. I just need more time to figure out these wedding plans."

I ignored this comment. Mona didn't attend school classes. She only came here because I was here and as far as she was concerned, Anti-Lance's colony beat out living like a concubine under Anti-Bryndin's hand back home. Anti-Blade didn't care for school either; he only lived here because his father sent him and he kept busy by fishing around for seasonal jobs in the area. That left plenty of time for those two to be alone.

"What stage of intimacy have you and Anti-Blade achieved?" I asked. "Speak up; don't be shy. I won't judge."

"That's just it. That's why I have to talk to you." Mona's fiddling hands turned into a set of crossed arms. "I… I'm being dishonest with myself, and with him. It wouldn't feel right to progress beyond the intimacy I've shown with you."

"Do you understand then, Mona? Why I did not wish to restrain myself from sharing my true feelings with those of our colony? You know it isn't right; it shouldn't be done. The Traditions and Customs book insists upon a pure and honest soul."

Looking pink and flustered, Mona nodded. "I admire our associate. That's why… I'd like to ask if you'll take me. At Cedarcross, midway through migration."

"'Take you?'" This called for another eyebrow raise and was met by another firm nod.

"I need more time to finish the wedding plans, but… I desire the upper stages of intimacy with my marvellous mate. May we?"

No wedding. Not yet. And Anti-Lance would expect me to ask Anti-Buster or someone else of high status to help me sort out the records of mine and Mona's and Anti-Blade's past lives. I'd need to declare myself officially as Ki-sat d'ingtolm. To Anti-Elina's face, actually, since the High Countess held the Seat of Leaves on her camarilla and it's the Leaves zodiac who deals in all matters of rebirth. Anti-Wanda would hate me for it and never let me forget it… and if she outlived me, I didn't entirely want to know if she planned to let me keep that stolen name at my funeral. How dreadful.

But I pushed that off for future Anti-Cosmo to deal with. Instead, I took up Mona's hand and squeezed it in both of mine. "Yes… All right, Mona. At Cedarcross, we'll explore at least up to Stage 12 of intimacy. I'll show you what a lover I can be." Inhale with wings aflutter. "For now, embrace honesty in Anti-Blade and in yourself. It's entirely inappropriate to withhold expressions of your true feelings, you know what I mean? If… if you are fast growing a friendship with him, let those feelings be your guide and don't permit shame or fear regarding me to stand in your way. We'll have Cedarcross. Let's talk more about such things then."