Hello dearest readers,
I am so sorry for the long break in the writing. Unfortunately, I lost someone in my life at the end of the summer and I've just felt so drained.
To make up for the long break, I've writen my longest chapter yet. I really hope you enjoy, and I promise there will be consistent posting from this point on.
Also, thank you SO much for all the lovely, lovely comments I've gotten about this story in the meantime. They have been some of the brightest spots in the past few months and the inspiration to keep writing.
All my love,
xoxo
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Several days later found Jane alone in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying desperately to fall asleep.
Edward and Mr Eshton had departed very early that morning for town and, knowing that it was a possibility they would have to stay in London overnight if their business deterred them, Jane had stayed up later than she normally would have in the hopes her husband would return. When the night sky darkened, however, and there was no sign of him, she had turned into bed where sleep evaded her entirely.
On the one hand, it had been a long day. Though Jane loved her children deeply and they were on the whole very well-behaved, they were still young and in need of constant minding. That day, without Edward there to help, their needs were harder to meet and as a result, they were fussier and more easily frustrated. When they had all finally laid down for the evening and the house had fallen silent, Jane had breathed the first sigh of relief she had been able to all day. It was impossible not to feel grateful for her husband who, in being such a present father, took on equal responsibility in raising their children, a responsibility that was greatly missed when he was not around. By the time Jane had gotten into bed herself, her mind was still reeling from the day. She tossed and turned, closing her eyes in the hopes her eyelids would begin to feel heavy, but then she opened them again impatiently to find that she was still awake as ever. It was frustrating, for she knew in a few short hours her children would be awake and needing her, and she would be very tired. But what else was she to do?
Eventually, not knowing or caring how much time had passed, she got up and pulled on her oversized robe laying over the end of the bed. In stepping out into the hall, she read the large grandfather clock before her and saw that it was just after three. She rubbed her eyes and crossed her arms as she began her late-night stroll, pausing outside of the children's rooms to make sure things were quiet but walking on again quickly.
Things were exceptionally still at that time of the night, she reflected, moving through the passages of the upstairs level with more focus on her thoughts than the things before her. In truth, the house was a different place without all of the people moving through it and without the sound of the children's voices ringing in the halls. It was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. It still felt like a house that was well-loved and well-lived in. And with none of the normal distractions, Jane had time to reflect on how she and Edward could not have found a better home for their family if they tried. Though it was not an inherited family home, it felt like it should have belonged to them for a very long time. And then Jane realised that perhaps that was why the house felt so perfectly suited to them- because there was no family history there, no paintings of deceased relatives on the wall to remind them of whom they came from and the traditions they had to follow. The house was theirs, and only their own happy memories were associated with it.
When Jane eventually reached the main floor she took extra care in being quiet. She thought if a servant heard her walking around they would get out of bed to check what the noise was, and she did not wish to disturb their rest. It was also for this reason that she did not go and make herself a cup of tea, even though she was sure she had never wanted one more in her life. Instead, she wandered into the library and ran her eyes lazily across the books on the shelf, holding her candle close to the volumes so she could read the names etched onto the spines. She had done this a hundred times before, surely, but with nothing else to do she thought she could use a potential refresher on the works they actually possessed. Their books had been somewhat poorly organised when they had first moved into the home in the rush of trying to settle in quickly, and though Edward and Jane had gone through them since and reorganised the volumes, over the years things had been moved out of place again and shoved back onto random shelves. Before their children were born, Jane would have perhaps suggested to her husband that they take the time again to clean up the shelves together, but now it just seemed there were so many other more important things to do. Perhaps one day there would be time again, she mused, stepping back out into the main passageway.
It was now close to three thirty, and Jane felt still no more tired than she had been when she left her bedroom. She hovered in the front entrance, hesitating. Perhaps a stroll in the garden? No. Edward wouldn't like her walking out there alone at night, and there was sense in remaining indoors. Perhaps a stroll around the sitting room? No. That was directly above where the servants slept, perhaps it would wake someone. She put her hand on her hip, contemplating if it had been a mistake to leave her bed at all. There was no chance of her falling asleep while walking around the house and she was perhaps more awake now then she had been before. So, rubbing her arm thoughtfully, Jane decided to head back upstairs and accept the fate of staring up at her ceiling again. But then she thought she heard the faint sound of a glass being laid onto wood, and in turning to look at the study she saw a faint orange glow under the door. She walked forward and pushed open the already ajar door, jumping when she saw her husband's form in a traveling cloak silhouetted beside the fire, his arm resting on the mantle.
"Edward?" she said in surprise, moving into the room and closing the door swiftly behind her.
He turned quickly, but he was not frightened as she had been to see him. His face brightened instantly.
"Hello darling"
"Hello" she smiled, "What are you doing down here?"
"I got back about an hour ago" he replied, kissing her in greeting when she reached his side, "I did not want to wake you by coming into the room before I was ready for bed"
"You wouldn't have. I have not been able to sleep"
"No?" he asked, his face instantly creasing with concern, "Is everything alright?"
"Yes" she assured him, "It has just been one of those nights".
"And so you decided to take a turn about the place?"
"Exactly"
"And has it worked?"
"Not in the slightest"
He laughed as he wrapped her into an embrace and kissed her forehead.
"I missed you all today" he whispered, pulling back to smooth her cheek affectionately, "How were the children?"
"They were good, but in truth I was relieved when they all fell asleep. It was a rather energetic day between all of them".
"Mmm" he said sympathetically, "You must be tired. Come on, let me take you up to bed"
He began walking but Jane stopped him, tugging his arm lightly.
"No, wait. Why could you not come up to bed? What have you been doing down here?"
He sighed, leaning on his desk.
"Eshton and I were not very successful today in what we set out to do. It is evident that we will need more time, and more help in town trying to settle the affair. But it does not signify. We can talk it all over tomorrow".
"Very well" she said taking his hand when he offered it, "I'm sorry matters weren't settled as easily as you suspected they might be".
"I am just glad to be home".
Jane looked into his face, trying to read it.
"Are you very tired?"
"I believe I am overtired- so overtired that sleep no longer appeals to me. Still, that doesn't mean that you cannot sleep".
She shook her head,
"I do not know if I can either. Like you I am overtired and unable to settle"
His brow creased again,
"Are you sure nothing is wrong, Jane?"
"Very sure, I promise"
"Okay" he conceded, "Can I get you anything, then?".
"No, thank you" she said somewhat automatically, but then her mind was almost instantaneous in offering her something intriguing that she did, in fact, want very much. Her husband's hand resting in her lower back felt large and warm- familiar and tempting. She was incapable of being indifferent to him.
She smiled at herself momentarily before pulling her husband slowly to her mouth by the collar of his cloak. He was already waiting for this, grinning into the kiss the moment his arms closed around her waist, securing her to him. She could barely stay on her feet while pulled up onto her tiptoes.
When the kiss broke Jane was lowered again onto the floor, her husband wearing a knowing yet thoughtful expression.
"Are you sure you would not prefer sleep? It is rather late"
"No. I wouldn't".
"Come then" he said, taking her hand and guiding her towards the door, "I need you out of that robe".
. . .
Edward got into bed before his wife, not bothering to pull the sheets up over himself as he propped himself up on his arm to observe her. She raised her eyebrow at him but he only smiled crookedly. The warm light from the fire cast his body in light and shadow, his muscles flexing and relaxing in a way that made Jane's heart race. He threw his arm over his head, and Jane found the hair on his chest and under his arms to be particularly masculine and alluring. He knew it, too, for he grinned in his own knowing way before throwing his head back and sighing happily. Jane untied her robe and draped it over the arms of one of their chairs. Underneath she was only in her light undershirt and standing before the fire she knew her husband could see straight through it. Not in a particular rush to move away from it, she reached up slowly to untie her hair, allowing it to fall down her back as Edward suddenly looked up, becoming impatient.
"What are you doing with that nightshirt still on?" he commanded, his tone rather authoritative,"Take that off".
Grinning to herself, Jane undid the buttons of her shift slowly so that it too could slip from her shoulders and fall to the ground. Looking into her husband's face, she could see it was suddenly solidified with seriousness and focus.
"Come here" he said gently, and when Jane reached his side she was half guided, half lifted on top of him so that she was straddling both sides of his legs. He observed her affectionately, she with equal love, and for a moment Jane's mind truly could fix on nothing but the expression he wore.
"You are perfect, do you know that?"
"No one is perfect"
"You are. You are perfect to me".
Jane kissed his lips briefly,
"That is because you love me, not because I am anywhere near perfect".
"Yes, it is because I love you" he conceded, "But it is also because if any other man knew what lay under those dresses of yours, I would need to beat them off of you with a stick. I fear you are much more perfect than you think".
"Stop it" she reprimanded, holding her finger up to him, "Stop trying to flatter me. I do not like you trying to deceive yourself, nor I"
"Mmmm" he grinned, kissing her jaw with his excruciating lips. She knew in that moment he thought of the loyalty between them, how, as far as he was concerned, she was the only woman in the world, and how for her he was the only man. It made his chest burn with pride.
"You know" he continued, rubbing her lower back, "Not three in three thousand husbands would be as happy to return to their wives as I am to return to you. I fear you were on my mind all day"
"Was I? Perhaps that is why you did not settle your business- you should have been more focused on your work and now what waited for you at home".
Edward laughed,
"If I was indeed distracted today, you witch, then it has admittedly led to me think on something I should very much like to try with you"
"Something you'd like to try?"
"Yes, but I am scared of scandalizing you" he whispered lowly.
Her forehead creased and he laughed, kissing her jaw.
"You mustn't show any more of those sweet, confused looks. I will not manage having you in the way I want if you continue like that".
"And what way is that?"
He bit his lip, hesitating a moment but then speaking with the confidence which so marked his character.
"Well, first I would like to take one of my cravats and tie your hands behind your back so that you are going to have to ask me for exactly what you want, and I will be the one to decide when you get it".
Jane felt blood flush her face at the unashamed way he could talk of them being together.
"And then" he continued, grinning "I want to cover your eyes, and I want to lay you down on this bed and kiss every inch of your skin".
She was thoughtful a moment, wrapping her arms around her husband's neck while his heart ached for the way her face contained so many emotions at once- thoughtfulness, and curiosity, and intrigue. He wondered what exactly she considered as she gazed sightlessly into the fire, but then she turned back to him.
"So...you want to rob me of my senses, then? Of my agency?"
"Some of your senses, yes" he grinned, "But I believe it will heighten all of the others. As for agency, you hold all of it when it comes to us".
She thought a little longer, but then she could not help but smile.
"Then, yes"
"Yes?"
She nodded,
"Though I do not know fully what I am agreeing to, I trust you entirely".
He drew her to his mouth and kissed her slowly, this time wanting to convey to her all of what that trust meant to him. When their lips separated, he cupped her face so that she was looking into his eyes.
"But this is not just about you trusting me, Jane. I want us to try this because I want you to enjoy it, not because your husband forced you into it".
Jane's face broke into a confidant smile as she spoke lowly, leaning closer to him.
"Part of the trust I have in you is that after seven years of marriage, you know what I enjoy and what I do not. I am rather certain on that front".
He grinned his sideways, prideful smile and then looked down, chuckling.
"One step at a time, then" he said , "Only what you're comfortable with".
"Okay" she whispered, climbing off of her husband and laying down beside him on the bed. She was looking up at him in her own uniquely and innocently tantalizing way, and he could not help but move over her to kiss her cheeks, eyes, and forehead. It made Jane feel warm, and safe, and comfortable as he drew back to pull his cravat out of his shirt in a couple of quick tugs. He turned his wife over onto her stomach and she smiled into the pillow as he pinned her hands behind her back, binding them together. As the fabric pulled and was tied tightly, Jane felt a simultaneous tightening of anticipation in her stomach.
Edward turned her over onto her back again, her hands now resting under her, and he could not help but chuckle at the expression she wore.
"God, I love you" he said, still chuckling as he kissed her forehead, "You look so eager".
"Mmm" she smiled, but then his face turned more serious.
"Promise me, Jane, that if you are uncomfortable, or you do not like something, you will tell me so at once".
"Of course" she said, "I promise".
"Alright" he whispered, smoothing her cheekbone with his thumb before burying his face in the crux of her neck.
He sucked one point of her skin over and over before his tongue soothed where his teeth had grazed her, and Jane quickly stifled the desire to moan. All of their talking, all of the anticipation of discussing what they were about to do made her all too eager for him the moment he had touched her. And then, there was something ultimately so arousing and so freeing about realising he could do whatever he wanted to her, and that realization made her burn with want. Edward guided his wife into a seated position before laying down on his side behind her, his arm holding her steady as his thumbs stroked her nipples, but his main focus was still on her neck and her jaw. His mouth was relentless, and wanting, yet controlled and intent- and Jane could not help but moan now, sensation swelling in her.
"There we go" her husband coaxed, pulling her down to his level and kissing her in encouragement, "Were you holding out on me, Jane Rochester?"
"I was trying to" she admitted, relieved when he moved around to her front so that she could fully see his face.
"Well, I wouldn't worry about that. Not when you'll be screaming my name in a few minutes. Lay down".
In the time it took for her to shift into a position that felt good with her hands positioned in the way they were, Edward was back with another of his cravats. He climbed over his wife, kissing her forehead, lingering before pulling back.
"Are you comfortable, sweetheart?"
"Yes" she promised, giving him permission to lay the second cravat over her eyes. He reached behind her head and moved her hair to one side before tieing it, careful not to pull any stray strands into the knot. When the fabric was fastened he drew back, though Jane could no longer see him, she could only feel he was no longer as close as he was.
"How does that feel?"
"Good. Very good" she breathed, wiggling slightly under the new sensation. She felt at once exceptionally exposed and yet entirely safe. It was intoxicating.
Edward's finger tucked gently under her chin and tilted it up so that he could put his lips on hers. She kissed him back wantingly, gasping the moment his fingers brushed across her abdomen. Her surprise broke the kiss for she had not been expecting it- robbed of her vision as she was, she was focused on his mouth alone, not his hands. They brushed her so feather-softly that she could not be sure they touched her at all. All she felt was a tingling where she supposed his hands had been, and she arched into his touch, wanting more. But more did not come to her. Edward had drawn his hand away, and while Jane was trying to sense where he had gone his fingers grazed her nipples and she shivered violently. When his mouth closed around her now hardened peak, Jane gasped, and the quick breaths she drew in caused her chest to rise and fall in such a way that made her toes tingle.
"I was going to ask you if you were enjoying yourself, but I do not think there is any need".
"Shhh" she breathed, hearing Edward's low chuckle. And then he was gone.
The mattress creaked and a second later Jane felt warm lips at her ankle, calf, knee, and then inner thigh. She pulled her own lips together but then they fell open as his tongue trailed up and down her skin. She wanted to grab his hair, but laying on top of her arms the most she could do was squirm on the spot. It was frustrating. But then his lips were gone again and the lack of sensation altogether drove the other frustration from her mind.
"Edward?" she said quickly, and the panic she heard in her own voice made her blush.
"Mmm?"
Silence, and then an amused laugh,
"Be patient"
"I'm-"
But before she could reply his lips found hers again and silenced any further rebuttal she could have. She tried to sit up, to be closer to him as their tongues intertwined, but the effort was in vain. In a moment he had her on her back again, her arms as pinned as ever. Jane huffed at the look she knew he wore.
"You are enjoying yourself, aren't you?"
"Yes" he said plainly, pecking her lips, "Very much so".
Once again his mouth was covering her nipple and this time it was so raw, so sensitive that it was almost painful when his tongue rolled over the hardened peak. She whimpered, and could not help curling up into his frame when he licked her.
"God" she breathed, laying back down and rolling slightly onto her side, but Edward held her steadily in place, "God, yes".
"Does that feel good?"
"Mmmmm"
An encouraging kiss on her stomach.
"Ms Rochester?"
Her face fell slightly at the tone in his voice, not able to place it while unable to see his expression.
"What is it?"
"I am so desperately in love with you, it cannot be right".
She grinned and then laughed as his lips tickled her collarbone, and she wanted more than ever to be able to wrap her arms around him. She tugged without thinking in order to free her hands, but the only thing she felt was the resistance of the knot.
He kissed up from her knee into her inner thighs, this time almost reaching her center as he separated her knees gently. She did not recognise the noises coming from herself, how desperate and wanting they were, but they felt good, and they were part of the relief she so desperately needed. She squirmed hopefully, wanting him to make contact with her before she was forced to beg, but he did not make her wait. He moved her legs over his shoulders one by one before lowering his mouth onto her, securing her wet and wanting core to him by locking her hips in place.
"EDWARD" she cried, not able to cover her mouth as his warm tongue ran the length of her. The best she could try to do to muffle the sound was turn her face into the pillow, but this was in vain.
Edward muttered some low profanity to himself before groaning how wet she was, his tongue running deeper inside of her and then stiffening as he flicked her hardened nub. Feeling lightheaded with desire, she rolled onto her side, trapping his head in between her legs as she moved. He quickly pulled himself out from under her, kissing the inside of her thigh.
"Try not to crush me, darling"
"I'm sorry" she said quickly, common sense being roused within her haze of desire, "Did I hurt you?"
Suddenly he was very close to her face, for his warm hand closed gently around her throat.
"No" he assured, and Jane could hear the smile in his voice, "You will only make it very difficult for me to last as long as I need to if you do that again".
"Oh" she said in innocent realisation, his lips planting a reassuring kiss while she was considering the thought. And then he was gone, and she missed the closeness of his mouth until he again pushed her legs apart and was eating her again.
It was wildly intimate, shockingly vulnerable, and yet completely consuming to be loved like this. Jane allowed her mind to wander to such thoughts as she lay there, trying desperately hard not to finish too quickly, though she was not sure these thoughts were helping much. How could this have been the path of her life? To be so utterly and completely happy.
But such thoughts were suddenly broken as she felt a strain in her shoulder, and she was pulled reluctantly away from the intoxicating feeling of her husband to address the sharper feeling now moving down her side.
"Edward?"
"Yes sweetheart?" he asked, her changed tone grabbing his attention instantly.
"Can you move my hands above my head please? My arms are getting a little sore".
"Oh, come here" he said, helping her to sit up so that he could untie her. When her hands were free she lay back down and very willingly threw them above her head, smiling as she waited for Edward to bind them again. Instead, his hands were at her waist, massaging her hips as he kissed her lips.
"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't realise you were uncomfortable. Is this better?"
"Yes" she promised him easily, "Much better"
"Good" he said, securing her hands in the new position above her head before kissing her forehead.
His fingers brushed her core, and Jane shuddered violently in hearing how wet she was. She rubbed her legs together so that she could feel the wetness coat her thighs but Edward was already trailing her readiness down her legs to her knees. She groaned and then whimpered in frustration.
"What is it?" Edward whispered lowly, "What's wrong?"
"I want to touch myself" she explained, "I want to feel how wet I am".
"Can't you hear how wet you are?"
Another groan.
"Why don't we compromise then?" he prompted, "Why don't I tell you how wet you feel to me?"
And then he was whispering in her ear, and Jane was breathing very fast and heavy as she listened to his low and tantalising words, moaning the entire time.
"Perhaps I should tell you what you taste like too".
He moved down her body and then exhaled in relief as his mouth closed on her, her core throbbing in hearing his groan the moment he tasted her. He wanted her now, she knew that, and the sound of his desperate need caused her, in a rush of searing lust, to have an orgasm which tore through her and made her legs shake uncontrollably. Her knuckles slammed into the bedpost as she tried in vain to steady herself, but Edward was only interested in making sure she fully finished - no longer in how still she could be. Her heart was pounding, but his thumb running over her bottom lip sobered her instantly, and the kiss which followed, slow and deep as it was, flooded her system with calm.
"Ms Rochester, what were you thinking of just now?" he whispered in awe, and Jane could hear the smile in his voice even if she could not see it.
"You" she replied simply, "And how much you want me"
He kissed her jaw hungrily in response as she wiggled her fingers experimentally a few times, but Edward noticed, for his hair tickled Jane's neck as he pulled back.
"Did you hurt yourself, darling?" he half laughed, half lamented, taking her hands into his and massaging them gently.
"Mmmm, a little".
He kissed each knuckle one by one.
"Let's move you away, then, from any more hazards"
He pulled her down to the bottom of the bed where he slowly brushed his thumb along her wet and wanting center. She gasped slightly as he kissed her, but it was all enough teasing Jane decided, shaking her head.
"Edward, please" she pleaded, her hands again unsuccessfully tugging at the fabric around her wrists so that she could guide him into her, "Please. I want you inside of me".
Stroking against her opening a few times, Jane could feel how hard her husband was, how he throbbed in anticipation, and she could not help the expectant moan which escaped her lips.
"Is this what you want?"
"Mmm"
"You want me inside of you?"
"Yes"
"Where?"
The word she used had the desired effect. A moment later she felt floods of relief as her husband filled her with one quick thrust, though from the sounds of her husband he was even more relieved than she was. Her eyes rolled back in happiness as he rocked into her once, then again, and then again, and eventually she was able to match his desperate yet still controlled rhythm. But then suddenly her blindfold was gone, and even the low light of the room felt blindingly bright to her eyes.
"Hello there" Edward whispered, smiling with the most intoxicating smile Jane had ever seen at the renewed sight of his wife.
"Hello" she whimpered, unable to stop herself when she saw his face flushed and full of desire. He tossed the cravat which was balled in his fist to the side and bent immediately for her mouth, his hand cupping the side of her face. His mouth was all-consuming, his lips addictive. She needed him- now and for the rest of her life, for without him she did not know what she would do.
"Jane, darling. I need to finish"
"Okay" she breathed, smiling up at him, wishing she too could touch his face.
"Is there anything else you want to do? Anything more you want from me?"
"No", she promised him, "But can I finish on top of you?"
He grinned, and in one fluid moment he had her resting on top of his stomach. Though her hands were still tied, this position gave her much more control and the ability to take some initiative with him- though knowing he could flip her over at any moment, and that she would be helpless again, made her feel almost weak in the knees.
She stroked him a few times, but there was no real need to do so. He was already so stiff and ready in her hand. She simply enjoyed watching the expression on his face as she teased him, especially as she was learning how to pleasure him with her hands restricted in the way they were. Edward was feeling every inch of her skin, running his thumbs over her breasts, hardened nipples, and stomach, but Jane was set on remaining focused. She leaned forward, pinning his hands above his head as she hovered close to his face, though when he reached up to kiss her she pulled back. Instead, she lowered herself onto him, pushing only some of his hardened member into her as she rocked forward, Edward groaning into her mouth. But then he grabbed her bottom and he pushed himself fully into her so that she gasped, dropping her face and resting her cheek against his. When his hand slapped her bottom, she gasped, letting out a held breath as groaned. She collapsed forward, sliding her hands to where one of Edward's still rested so that she felt his fingers close around hers. And then the other hand, after rubbing the sore spot on her bum, slapped her again, and Jane felt her eyes roll back in her head. He was relentless, and still she needed more, for she was on the verge of another orgasm that she knew would be stronger than the last.
And then, in a rush of pleasure, and gratification, and pent-up anticipation, Jane felt her husband finish inside of her just as her second orgasm tore along her spine and down all her nerves. Her eyebrows were forced together, her mouth forced open as her lip dragged on his shoulder in a desperate attempt to catch her breath.
Ecstacy. He was absolute ecstasy.
A warm and blissful feeling radiated all over Jane's body which made her feel weightless, though also grounded as lead. She barely noticed the burning in her chest, or the pounding of her heart against her ribcage as she laid on top of her husband, never feeling more stimulated, nor so much at peace. Somewhere far off Edward groaned in happy satisfaction, cradling his wife's head in one hand and holding her lower back with the other. He could feel the rate of her heart beating against his own ribcage, so he was aware of it slowing until it settled into a normal rhythm again. Jane felt soft lips at her neck, and then her cheek, and for a long time they lay in silence, not capable of feeling anything but their heartbeats realigning.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?"
"Mmm" she voiced happily, not bothering to open her eyes.
Edward brushed the hair away from her face so that it fell down her back as she lifted her head to look into his face. Smiling, she nodded.
"I'm more than alright, even if I may not be able to sit for a week".
"Mmm, let me see about that" he said, gently turning her over onto her stomach again and running his fingers over the place his hand had made contact. He dropped his head and kissed the spot
"It looks very good to me".
"Oh, I'll bet it does".
He smiled at her teasing tone, turning her over again and lowering her hands so that he could untie them. Jane, watched her husband as he undid the knot and unbound the fabric, finally freeing her hands so that she could reach up and run her thumb over his cheekbone.
"I love you" she said sincerely, and then she dropped her voice to a whisper, "I love you so much".
He closed his eyes, savoring her touch.
"I love you, Jane Eyre. But you already know that. You've known that for a very long time".
He kissed her forehead, and then Edward lay down on the bed beside her. Jane picked up the blankets from the bottom of the bed along with her nightshirt which she pulled over her head before climbing under the covers.
. . .
"Do not go in there Emmy"
"Why?"
"Mother is asleep"
"No she's not. She is always awake before us"
"Father told us she was asleep. Come away from the door"
Jane was slowly, and then very suddenly, roused from sleep at the sound of her children's muffled voices on the other side of her bedroom door. She blinked back the last bit of sleep in her eyes before sitting up to read the clock on the bedside table. She was not sure she was reading the time correctly at first, but then she looked again and saw that her first reading had been right. It was nearly half past ten.
"Children" Edward's voice now said, "I told you not to wake your mother"
"It's alright" Jane called from bed, smiling "I'm awake".
A moment later the door opened and three of her four children came bolting into the room. They climbed up onto the bed and approached her, looking curious.
"Mommy, why are you still in bed?" Henry asked, crossing his legs.
"I did not sleep very well last night, but all the same your father should not have let me sleep in" she scolded, looking up at her husband who had just entered the room last with Peter in his arms.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"No" she assured her son, "Sometimes a person does not get enough sleep and just requires a little extra".
Emmy climbed into her mother's lap,
"Mother, father tried to do my hair but look"
Jane laughed as Edward sat down beside her, Peter climbing out of his arms onto the bed next to his older brothers.
"I did try" he admitted, and it was indeed evident that some effort had been made, though the bows were sliding out of whatever style they had been placed in. Jane smiled up at her husband.
"Can you fix it please?" Emmy asked, pulling one of the bows out and handing it to her mother.
"I will in a little while, sweetheart. Right now I need to get up and get dressed and have some breakfast".
"But mommy, you already missed breakfast" James said, a little worried. But then Edward explained,
"Because Ms Jones was going out after the usual scheduled time for breakfast to visit her sister, I asked if she would set aside a plate for you. Anna said she will bring it up to you whenever you like".
"That was very kind. I am sorry to put them through so much trouble. This wouldn't have happened if I had been woken up when I should have been".
"You were fast asleep, darling, and clearly in need of it".
Jane sighed but folded easily.
"I suppose I was".
"Father, can we go play with our train please?" Henry asked, indicating him and James.
"Yes, go on" he said, "We are going to go out on a walk in a little bit though, so not for too long"
They grinned at each other before climbing off the bed and running out of the door, but their sister did not go with them.
"Do you not want to go and play trains with your brothers?" Edward asked, but she shook her head,
"No, I do not think so" she replied plainly, and her answer was not entirely surprising. She was not a fan of trains, yet when they all played tag on their walk later Jane knew full well she would be her brothers' equal in competitiveness.
"I will go and play with my dolls" she concluded, sliding off the bed, "Adele said she would play with me".
"And I will take Peter for his nap" Edward said, noting their youngest child's eyes closing against his will as he fought to keep them open, "Unless you want him to stay with you?"
"Oh, I wish" Jane said, brushing her youngest son's cheek, "But I am going to get up now"
"Okay", he said, "Then I am going to go and put him down".
"Thank you".
He nodded at her and kissed her forehead before leaving with Peter resting on his shoulder, looking drowsy.
"Bye, bye darling" she waved.
When the door closed again and all was silent, Jane threw back the blankets and stood up from the bed. She stretched one long and satisfying stretch, noting how solid her sleep must have been, for the whole right side of her body was stiff. She walked in front of the window and pushed open the curtains as she massaged her neck, taking account of how lovely the day was. After a few long and lazy minutes gazing out over their gardens, she pulled herself away from the view to sit at her vanity. The water she found there which she splashed on her face was cool and refreshing, and got rid of the last bit of grogginess hovering at the front of her mind. In patting her cheeks, chin, and forehead dry with a soft towel, she had a full view of her own expression in the mirror.
For much of Jane's life she hadn't looked much at her appearance. At Gateshead, she had been told so often of her lack of beauty in comparison to her cousins that she had no desire to see her reflection, afraid of the truth of the accusation. And then, when she lived in Lowood school, the girls were not given mirrors on account of not wanting to rouse their vanity. As a result, most girls marked their development in the reflection of their morning water bowl, or the water which collected in the birdbath in the courtyard. The first mirror, then, which Jane had seen herself in after leaving Gateshead was the one in her small, shared teacher's room. There, the reflection in the mirror which greeted her was a familiar person, a person whom she was proud of, but not someone she thought would ever be desirable to another person. But, as such had never been the plan for her life, she did not much care. The mirror had taken on a different meaning for the first time in her life at Thornfield Hall where her first experience of love had made it a tool of comparison and grief. How many times had Jane stared into it, feeling inadequate in the face of more beautiful women around her whom she feared would win over her beloved master with everything but their person. How much her reflection in the glass was different to theirs. But then, even if she had not always recognised it as much as she perhaps should have, even before her husband's declaration of love, her reflection was showing her a person who was already loved, and respected, and cherished for things much more important, and far less fleeting, than her looks. Now, at 26, Jane perhaps looked as well as she ever had because she felt as well as she ever had. Her cheeks were full and pigmented, and marked with delicate smile lines that were indicative of years of ease. Her brow was softer than it once had been and was more expressive. Her eyes were bright and inquisitive. Yet with this said, she was still aware that she was not a beautiful woman. She would not turn the head of any man who happened to pass her in the street, nor would she prove a threat to any woman she met. She was simply very lucky to be exquisitely happy. It gave her a quiet sort of confidence in who she was, and a fulfillment of person which others always read as contentment. And such was true, for she wanted nothing more or less than what she already had.
Jane set to braiding and pinning her hair loosely at the back of her head, the style easy to execute after years of practice. Pulling a few curls out of place at the front of her face, she checked over her appearance before standing to dress for the day. She pulled a maroon dress with white trimmings from the closet and stepped into it, fastening the clasps on the back on her own and smoothing the skirt in front of the mirror. When she had put her pearl earrings in her ear she stepped back to assess her whole appearance. She liked the dress, she thought to herself, not having been able to wear it since early spring when it had been colder, but, on a woman will a fuller figure, the flattering waist would have fit lightly better. Such would do.
The bedroom door opened again and Edward struck his head in, checking to see if his wife was still inside. When he found her in the middle of the room he stepped through the threshold, looking thoughtful as he approached her.
"Don't you look lovely"
"Thank you" she smiled, turning around to face him as he approached. She backed up into the window sill, smiling as Edward put his hands on either side of her waist.
"Good morning"
"Good morning"
A peck on the lips.
"How are you?"
"Very tired, but very good"
"Are you, now?" he asked meaningfully, leaning in and kissing her more deeply this time. She wrapped one arm around his neck and rested the other on his arm as the kiss broke so that she was looking into his face.
"Last night gave me all sorts of inappropriate dreams, Mr Rochester. You should be very careful the next time you suggest something so intriguing to me".
He chuckled lowly, kissing her forehead.
"I hope you know, Ms Rochester, that tonight you'll be showing me whatever happened in those inappropriate dreams of yours, though by the way you slept I never would have suspected a dream-filled sleep. You slept like a baby".
"Well, I was thoroughly worn out, though I had a tiring day before you arrived home".
"I know" he said, looking repentant "That was my fault. Four children is quite a lot to manage on your own. I never should have left, especially as the trip really did no good".
"No, no" she assured him, "The children were well enough. Besides, I slept so exceptionally well once I did fall asleep that it is of little consequence. Though I do not take such nights for granted. I never knew what it was to have a peaceful sleep until I met you".
"Is that so?" he asked, looking both surprised and pained as he touched her cheek.
"You need not look so grim" she said, softening at his expression, "No one sleeps so well as I now do".
He took her hand in his as they walked toward the door,
"I must admit, that is all a husband could hope to hear from his wife. Though, how much you have eased my nights cannot be compared to whatever comfort I have given to you".
A squeeze of the fingers.
They stepped out into the hall, suddenly able to hear their children playing in their bedrooms. The sounds made Jane smile, but so did another more devilish thought.
"Then again", she continued lowly, "One could argue that because of you I have also gotten a lot less sleep".
Edward laughed, his face full of prideful amusement.
"Wicked thing. Behave yourself"
. . .
While Jane ate her breakfast, Edward filled her in on the events of the previous day.
The day before, he and Eshton had gone into London in order to settle a particularly delicate Magisterial matter which had occurred in the county a few weeks before. Mr Glynn, a notoriously problematic and arrogant but well-connected man in the area, had accused one of the servants on his estate of stealing silver from his cabinet with seemingly no evidence, and the man was subsequently let go from his position and thrown out onto the charity of strangers along with his wife and two young girls. In his desperation, he had approached the Rochester's whom he had heard were generous in giving positions to servants who were in need of it, primarily through Lady Denver's former estate. Edward had granted him a position in the apple orchard there and allowed the family to live in one of the cottages rent-free until their first payment could be made comfortably. Upon hearing this from one of his own servants, however, Mr Eshton approached Edward in disbelief, claiming that he had known Mr Hughes, the man accused of stealing, since childhood when he had been employed as a young man on his father's estate. He vouched for his character in spite of years of not having seen him, claiming that he had always taken his work and responsibilities quite seriously and that nothing could have induced him to steal from a home which employed him. Moreover, Eshton had had several confrontations with Mr Glynn over the years in his line of duty which made him weary of his person overall, and this perhaps was what encouraged him to take action.
When Edward had approached Mr Hughes to discuss the incident further he had been unsurprised but angered to learn that Mr Glynn had been making several advances toward Hughes' wife whom, being exceptionally shy and reserved, had borne with the advances as best she could without telling her husband. When, however, Mr Glynn had tried to pin her behind the barn one day, she ran from him, attracting the attention of several servants who witnessed the attempted attack. To get rid of him, then, to not be accused of the crime he had tried to commit, Glynn had accused Hughes of stealing and thrown him from the house knowing he could not find work again with the reputation of a thief. When Edward had shared as much with his friend, Eshton suggested they take legal action. Edward had agreed, and the men had taken the first step towards having a judge look at his case.
The previous day, however, when they had gone to London to attain such an end, they found themselves outweighed in influence and power. Mr Glynn, though hateful and surely possessing enemies, was a society man who had many people willing to support his claims of innocence. It had become evident that to make any claim against him without being prepared would result in an immediate dismissal of the case. So, Edward and Mr Eshton had spent the day speaking to several of their own friends who were law men in order to gain some insight into getting the case looked at. It had been suggested to them to use their connections to do the same Mr Glynn would, and that to do such successfully would take some time. So, on the way home, the men discussed who they could ask in their life to come and support the case, and they had, of course, mentioned Adam Clarke, Captain Franklin, and Father Roberts.
Over the past few years the Clarke's had become as close with the Rochester's small group of family and friends as anyone else. Jane especially liked Emma, who was mild and generous, and mature while still being straightforward and honest. In truth, she was perhaps most similar to Jane within their little group, more down to earth than Anne, more sure of herself than Mary, and less worried than Diana. Her husband, Adam, had become one of their dearest friends too, for his good nature, simple attitude towards life, and unwavering fairness were all complimentary to Edward's character which was rather similar. What was more impressive was the humble way they lived compared to the way they could have, for their well-kept but still moderate cottage was the smallest estate that his family-owned, and they owned several massive estate houses all over the south of the country. Adam, too, had been a very successful lawyer in London in his own right before meeting Emma and choosing a life of family over one of notoriety. Deciding for themselves, they had moved to their home- away from all of the noise of the city, and had made a comfortable living for themselves, though it had cost Adam the support of his family. Still, it did not seem to bother him, nor his wife.
Now, however, his influence and power as a Barrister would be needed, Edward was sure. He still maintained a loyal group of friends in London who were as influential within the law as men could be against the system, and Adam's support would mean a great deal. Then there was Captain Franklin who, in being further progressed and decorated in his naval career, also possessed a great amount of influence within London, though it was somewhat restricted to the service. Still, this would count for a great deal socially, for officers had no trouble being invited to events in town where opinions on ongoing matters were shared openly over drink. Father Roberts certainly had the least amount of influence within the group, for in truth he had little outside of being in the family of the Rochester's and the Franklin's, though he was an effective businessman in his own right and articulate and intelligent. His stoicism gave him an audience, and his power of persuasion made him rather compelling to listen to. All of the men would be needed in order to pass their case against Mr Glynn to a judge, and thus all had been summoned to the Rochester house for that afternoon.
Naturally, the women and children of the families were not contented to stay at home while so much socialization was going on, and they had wanted to come for a picnic as well. In truth, Jane never minded seeing the women who were so important in her life. Diana, Mary, Anne, and Emma were so often there for her when she needed them, and she in turn had always tried to be there for them when they had needed it. They were all loving, and lighthearted, and kind- the type of well-rounded, supportive women that anyone would be lucky to have as friends.
"I'm sorry I did not consult with you first" Edward said as Jane laid down her teacup, now empty of it's amber liquid, "I did not think you would mind, and I didn't want to wake you to see-"
She shook her head,
"I do not mind at all. It will be lovely to see everyone. I only hope we won't interrupt your conversation regarding Mr Hughes too much".
"Well, there is only so much we will be able to do today. The men will have to agree to help, which I am sure they will. From there we will all need to travel to London, I'm afraid".
Jane reached across the table, taking her husband's hand and laying their intertwined fingers in her lap. She hesitated a moment, and then she proceeded.
"What you are doing is very important, and very noble. And I know I can speak for Mr Hughes when I say that he is very grateful that you and Mr Eshton would take such efforts to restore his reputation and his wife's when he is not in the same position to defend her as you are. But I am thinking of his wife, Edward. I am thinking of what this case may be to her, what it may turn into".
His brow furrowed,
"What do you mean?"
"It is only that his wife is so exceptionally shy- so meek she almost reminds me of an autumn leaf which, in falling from the tree, blows away at the first hint of a breeze. I wonder what such publicity will do to her spirit, or to her feeling of safety. I cannot imagine that she wants her name to be so publically used to discredit the character of Mr Gynn- to be the face which all associate with his ugly conduct".
Edward sighed,
"You are not wrong, Jane. I know this. I even asked Mr Hughes of such, but he gave me no indication that she was uncomfortable with the prospect. If he does not express to me that she is uncomfortable, and she certainly will not reach out to express as much herself, what are we to do? Her husband's life hangs in the balance, for his reputation is ruined. Right now we employ him enough so he does not go hungry, nor his family, but he held a much more prominent position before the work he is doing now. He is not content to be a field worker the rest of his life. I have no other work to give him".
"Mmm" Jane said, chewing her lip. "I do wonder if she would even tell her husband, knowing how angry the situation has made him"
"A husband who is more than eager for Glynn to be publically reprimanded not only for the treatment of his wife, but for his lies" Edward agreed, "I know. It is a difficult situation, but one which I do find great importance in, otherwise I would not become involved".
"Of course" Jane agreed, smoothing his knuckles with her thumb, "I believe it is vital for that man to be put in his place and punished so that such does not happen again. I just wish there was a way it could be done which would also protect her from being the name mentioned in public circles".
Edward looked at her thoughtfully for a long moment before nodding slowly.
"I know. We will do our best, darling. I promise you that".
She smiled at him, grateful for his sensitivity.
"Thank you, for everything. You are so wonderfully good".
Edward stood, his face skeptical as he helped his wife to her feet.
"When is everyone due to arrive?" she continued as they left the room, going out into the hall where servants were already preparing for the picnic.
"Around one, they said. Though who knows with so many children if anyone will make it on time".
Jane smiled at him, but at that moment there were hurried footsteps on the stairs and Adele rushed around the corner, stopping in surprise when she found her parents at the bottom.
"Mother, Father, could I speak to you a moment?" she asked, stopping in front of them.
Adele was wearing a lavish white frock, one which Jane had never seen before and one which had a significant amount of bows and frills on it- much more in the style of the dress she wore when she was eight, not as of late at seventeen. Her hair, too, was elaborately pinned into a plait with flowers interlacing the braid. Jane immediately felt suspicious.
"Of course" Edward said, replying to her question, perhaps not as in tune with what was going on as Jane was.
"I do hope you will not be cross with me. You know that last week I was visiting with the Lucas'?'"
"Yes, of course," Edward said,
"Well, also visiting with the Lucas' at the time was their cousin, a Mr Reynolds. Mr Reynolds is attending university at Cambridge in the fall, and as he was returning to his family today and passing through the county, I invited him here for lunch. I thought that as the family is going for a picnic, and now that all our friends and extended family will be present also, that it would not be inappropriate to do so".
In truth, Edward looked rather surprised and confused, his look rather mirroring Jane's feelings.
"But who is this Mr Reynolds?" Edward asked, expressing Jane's own thoughts aloud, "I have not heard a word spoken of him before"
"He is the son of a great gentleman" she continued eagerly, "The Lucas' spoke rather highly of his family, and he himself was so amiable that I cannot help but believe it to be true. I simply wanted to return the kindness shown to me while visiting my friends by allowing him a place to stop for lunch".
Edward looked to Jane who smiled reassuringly first at him and then their daughter.
"Adele, of course your friend is welcome here. Though in future it would perhaps be helpful to tell your father and I of their arrivial in advance so that we can properly prepare"
"Oh, but he expects no ceremony, I am sure" she said, her face turning rather serious, "He would be satisfied with only cake and biscuits if that was what was offered".
"Well, when is this Mr Reynolds due to arrive?" Edward asked, now somewhat flustered.
"He thought perhaps around two o'clock when he accepted the invitation, given that his carriage is not delayed in leaving the Lucas'. Thank you mother, thank you father".
She hugged them both quickly before rushing back up the stairs with more spring in her step, surely to perfect her already over-polished appearance. The moment she was out of sight, Edward turned on his wife, his brow creased.
"What was all that?"
"I believe, Mr Rochester, that you may very soon be vetting marriage proposals for your oldest daughter"
"What!?"
She grinned.
"I believe Adele has a crush on the young man" Jane explained quietly as they traversed the steps.
"Well a crush is one thing" Edward argued lowly, "You spoke of vetting marriage proposals. Adele is nowhere near old enough to be marrying".
"You proposed to me when I was eighteen, Mr Rochester".
"That was different" he contested stubbornly, "You were different".
"Well, your daughter may not see things in that way. I am sure she will not marry the first boy who shows her interest but her feelings will be hurt if she does not think we take such seriously, even if it is only adolescent love".
Edward gave his wife a flat look, but eventually, he inhaled,
"Fine. I will treat him as any other guest of this home, but I will be far more critical of his character than anyone else who enters".
She rubbed his arm affectionately.
"All good fathers are. I will go and speak with her now".
Jane thought she heard her husband uttering some prayer for help as he left her at Adele's room, but she could not be entirely sure as she knocked, holding back a laugh.